I Said Yes

Final Chapter & Epilogue

I woke from my 10-minute power nap, on the side of the hot springs, with the sound of the birds and bugs alive in the background. I could hear the faint sound of the tiny waterfall, with the water running from the springs to the pond. It had been a whirlwind of activity over the past several days and I was ready for a rest and to get on with life and my new journey. I was determined to make sure all the planning for the upcoming few days was organized, in order and complete. There were still a few details to hammer out and, some people to see and talk to…confirming certain elements were going to be handled, but this is what I did…I was a planner…and an organizer…and I was confident in my abilities to insure that the tiniest of details were not to be over looked.

I rose from the flat spot on the rocks and started to walk back towards the area where I saw him, walking along the edge of the pond. I had to take a minute and catch my breath…what a wonderful thing he was doing for me right there, right then. When I got close, he was there, looking at me…waiting. He had a pensive, yet loving expression on his face. As I got to where he was standing, he pulled me into a hug…a long hug and, when we separated, we both let out a sigh and just stared into each other’s eyes and then, surveyed the mountains and the water. This was his one and only visit to this place…I knew he understood the significance by just looking into his eyes. I felt a tear escape from my eye and he, gently, used his thumb to catch it. As I started to speak, he placed his finger to my lips…

“Shhh” (Jason)

“Thank you for this…”

“Are you ready for"us"to start "our"journey?” (Jason)

“Yes…I am saying YES”

“Your Soulmate is not someone who comes into your life peacefully, it is who comes to make you question things, who changes your reality, somebody that marks a before and after in your life. It is not the human being that everyone has idealized, but an ordinary person, who manages to revolutionize your world in a second….”

-Anonymous

* * * *

Two days after my final trip to Walla Walla, the cemetery and the hot springs, and five years after I said goodbye to Michael, we found ourselves surrounded by Jason’s family, my family, Diane, Michael’s sisters, Chris, Corey, Nolan, Rob, Sarah and a host of other friends.

Jason and I stood on a beach in Santa Cruz and committed ourselves to each other, with Mama Su officiating.

EPILOGUE

     Few men on this earth are lucky enough to find true love, to find their soulmate and to find a connection so rich and deep that it can boggle the mind.  My world was rocked on multiple fronts, by the connections I had found and the lasting impressions of those connections.  When life threw me a curveball I moved on, and when life threw me another curveball, I landed in a place that left me feeling hopeless, afraid, and so deeply saddened that I never thought I would recover.  The loss, the regret, and the incredible grief from having experienced not one, but two significant losses, in terms of my relationship and life with Michael, could have easily staggered me to a point of no return and, for a brief time, it did…

     Michael’s family, and our circle of friends, convinced me, over time, that it all really did happen for a reason.  To wallow in a continued state of grief could, and would only take away the purpose, the significance, and the importance of my time with Michael.  The final chapter of that period of time in my life, the stark realization that life is fragile and not to be taken for granted, led me to where I am today…it allowed me to open and feel again…and it allowed me to know and understand how lucky I was then, and how lucky I continue to be.  The chance encounter, and ultimate development of a relationship with Jason, really speaks to the heart of my relationship with Michael and all of the things he taught me and helped me learn…Diane continued to harp on me about that and, though it took quite some time to get it…I finally did get it…

     Love is not a fleeting encounter or an escapade.  Connection is random but is also something you can, and should grab and hold onto…Finding “the one” can be an extended process or instantaneous and completely unexpected…in either case…when you do find him or her…you will know.  As I said, I was so fortunate…more so than most…so my mission, and what I have learned in the process, is very cliché but, also, very real…live and cherish every single moment you have…tromp through the woods and snow in a tuxedo…go skinny dipping whenever you can…express your love in a parking garage or an elevator, at a rest stop or in the back seat…fight hard but fight fair and do all that you can to show your person how much you love them and how important they are to you…

More from “The Letter” from Diane; November 8, 2014

"Above all else, I wish for you, my crazy “son”, that you find a love and a happiness like that with which you experienced with my other crazy son.  I wish for you a true connection with what will be....and I wish for you that you hold, always, a special place in your heart and soul for my lost one.  

Please keep some of that with you always – please keep a part of him with you always – and please be good to yourself and let your heart open, once again for you have too much to give to not allow that for yourself.  Allow yourself to share that light around your heart and soul so that another can experience the same type of merger of the souls that you and your Amigo did. 

With everlasting love, 

Diane"

- The End -