I Said Yes

We were on our way, in Michael’s truck, out to the east side of Seattle to check out Nolan’s winery. We had stopped at 13 Coins, a famous and well-known diner in downtown Seattle, for breakfast. It was awkward but not un-pleasant. We ate quickly, and chit chatted about unimportant things. I didn’t want to ruin the day by bringing up the stuff from last night. I knew it was a conversation we needed to have but it didn’t feel like the right time. As we crossed the bridge, going over Lake Washington, Michael decided to go there…well…he didn’t start there but the talk quickly moved in that direction…

“So, did you like your little wakeup call this morning?”

“Hmm. Very much…you know how to do that right”

“Well, I will take that as a compliment…seems I don’t do much right these days as far as you are concerned” (Michael)

“What does that mean?”

“Well, it was pretty clear I had said something wrong last night, so I was trying to make up for it this morning” (Michael)

“Is that what you think…the sex thing always makes up for it?”

“Well, make-up sex is always really good…right?” (Michael)

“You are such a putz sometimes”

“Now what did I do?” (Michael)

“Do you really want to have this conversation right now…I mean…I don’t want to bring the mood down before we get out to Nolan’s”

“So, it’s gonna be a bad one huh? What is the big deal?” (Michael)

“The big deal is that you and I agreed we were going to work on a plan…and part of that plan was for me to look at the POSSIBILITY of changing things up with my work and living situations…what you did was jump the gun and tell the guys…AND you made assumptions about what I was going to do”

“The guys already knew what you were working on…you told me you had told them about your meeting with the bosses” (Michael)

“Yes…the had some of the details…but I am far from being ready to announce what may or may not be coming. I have to work with these guys…the bosses might decide they don’t want to go forward with things…that could be a whole different conversation”

“You take things so seriously…I mean really…it was a harmless comment to the guys…everyone knows what you and I are planning so I don’t get what the big deal really is…” (Michael)

“That’s just it…you don’t get it…still. You are convinced things are going to be a certain way and I haven’t worked through that plan…and I certainly haven’t committed to that plan…or your plan”

“I thought it was “OUR” plan…” (Michael)

“Jesus…will you just listen to what I am saying…there is no plan yet…I don’t have any details worked out yet…you don’t have any details worked out yet…or at least none that you have shared with me…why aren’t you getting this?”

“Maybe I am just stupid” (Michael)

“You don’t get to play the martyr thing again…come on…you know you remember what we talked about. This isn’t about what we want to do…or how we want to end up…this is about you talking to my guys before we accomplished anything. I am not trying to be a dick…and I am not criticizing what you want…I was grumpy about you talking about it before we knew what IT is or was”

“Ugh…ok…ok…I get it” (Michael)

“Do you? Do you really get it or are you saying that cuz it’s what I want to hear”?

“Well, I guess a little of both. I don’t want to fight…but I don’t think you should be so cranky about me talking to them” (Michael)

“Alright, alright…so I am going to put this out there…and then I think we should just get to the winery and have some fun…the gang will be there and I don’t want it to be weird…I love you…I want to be with you…I promised I was going to see what could happen on my end to make that happen…and I have started that process. I don’t know how it is going to turn out, but I would like for us to keep those details between us…and not share anything until you and I know first. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah…I guess. When do you think you will have your mind made up” (Michael)

“Michael, it’s not about me making my mind up…it’s about things being organized and making sense. I can’t rush the job part…I can’t push Colleen and Keri into making decisions faster than the can…it’s their business…I only work for them. I love working for them and, if there is a way to keep doing that and being with you, then that’s what I want…but I don’t have that answer yet…you are going to have to keep being patient about that. If that doesn’t work for you….”

“Ok, ok…then I will wait…” (Michael)

“This really was more about you dropping bombs, like you always do, on people and surprising them…that’s what I was really pissed about…not about what you want”

“Ok…I get it. I will work on that”

“Ha-Ha…yeah, right”

“Fuck off you” (Michael)

“There he is…”

“Who?” (Michael)

“My guy!”

I knew, in my heart of hearts, that he didn’t really get it. It was his nature to go with immediate gratification…to act on, or talk about, things in the here and now. For someone so good at planning and developing business stuff for the future, he sure was shitty at that when it came to our personal life. Silly thing was, I knew that about him so I should have not been surprised at all that he talked to the guys about our stuff nor should I have been surprised he didn’t really seem to get what I was saying…this I knew about him so I had some work to do and some serious decisions to make.

We were almost there when I realized I hadn’t told him about the conversation I had had with my mom about me going down to California in a few weeks. When I did bring it up he told me, if the dates worked out, there was a wine competition in San Francisco that he had entered (Wonder when he was going to tell me that??) and maybe we could go down together. He said he would have to check the dates if I wanted him to…sounded ok to me…I hadn’t worked out dates yet for the drive, so we decided to talk about that later.

The gang, meaning Nolan, Chris, Corey, Rob, Diane, Jenni & Heidi, were all at Nolan’s spot, Pearl Cellars, before we got there. Since it was a weekday, we were the only ones there. Corey and Rob would be taking off soon as they had the restaurant that day and would meet up with us if we were out later. Nolan took us on the tour of the tasting room and the barrel room…he was extremely excited we were there and proud to show it off…as he should have been. The spot was great…well done in terms of the look and feel…Diane complimented several times on the décor while Michael disappeared into the production room in the back. The space had room for a small bottling operation as their main production site was at the actual Winery in Walla Walla. Nolan commuted, every few days back and forth but his focus, at that moment, was getting the Seattle tasting room open. We were all impressed and happy for him…he had done a really good job and I was excited for his operation to be so close to our restaurant…I was certain we would have many opportunities for wine dinners and events between the two of us. Michael and Nolan wandered for several minutes, talking details I was sure, and Corey and Rob had taken off. I was hanging out with the girls and we were tasting wine and nibbling on snacks placed on the tasting room counter. It was a nice afternoon and I found myself feeling better about things, at least in my own head. I think Diane had sensed something was up…she did not pry…she asked once if all was ok…and when I nodded yes, she let it go and engaged me in business chat. We had a couple of events planned with them, so we yapped about those for a few minutes and then she told me how much she was looking forward to the food at Elliott’s later.

Heidi had, unbeknownst to us, packed a large picnic lunch for all of us so we decided to kidnap Nolan and head on over to the Ste. Michele Winery. They had a huge, expansive, lawn area complete with picnic tables, chairs, fire pits and a pond that sat next to their tasting room, so we all hopped in our respective cars and headed that way. Ste. Michele is the largest wine operation in the state of Washington. Their home location, Woodinville, was basically built around the expansive estate that had been producing wine for 40 some years. It’s a great set up and so large that the tour of the facilities generally takes a couple of hours. The lawn area was used, in the summer, to host large concerts and other events and they even owned a brewery and pub across the street. All of us had been there before…it is what you do if you live in the area and like wine…so we didn’t need the tour…just a couple of trips to the tasting room to buy bottles. Heidi had put together a great lunch with all kinds of goodies, so it was perfect for that afternoon. The mood was light and happy, and everyone enjoyed themselves.

We stayed for about an hour and a half…the ladies were going to do some shopping in downtown Seattle, so we all wandered back to our vehicles and said our goodbyes. Nolan was going back to the tasting room for a while but would meet us at Elliott’s for dinner. Michael and I decided to head back towards West Seattle, stop and have a couple of drinks at the pub, and then head to the house to dress for dinner. Despite how the talk went that morning, we managed to have a good day, to that point, and I was looking forward to more fun and laughs with the gang that evening…and some Matt and Michael time later…