I Said Yes

I got back to the house after going to the market and stopping to let the pups out. I ran into Chris at the Winery as he was just heading out to pick up the smudge pots in the closest vineyard. He looked like hell…said he felt like hell…said his cell phone was blowing up with calls that he refused to answer at this point. He let me know that word was out and to pass that along to the folks at the house. Whatever announcement was to be made…it was probably time to put that in motion. I ran the dogs out and hopped back in the car to head over to the house. The girls were there when I arrived and they helped me put trays of fruit and muffins and pastries together and out on the Kitchen island. We pulled together some of the left over meats and cheeses and crackers that Chef had brought over…I fried some bacon up…scrambled some eggs and voile…a quick and easy breakfast bar.

Diane was busy talking with folks…both in the house and on the phone. I had to say she looked like a million bucks considering the circumstances. At one point she came over to the girls and I and asked us to make sure we were all at the house at 3pm for a meeting…and would we track Michael and Chris down and let them know. It was then that I realized I hadn’t seen Michael in about three hours…I was really glad he was getting some rest and I told Diane and the girls that I thought he was napping in the guest room. As if we had scripted it that way in walked Michael…no shirt…no shoes…and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. I thought, at the moment, at least he had shorts on as it would be just like him to just wander out naked or in his underwear…but I guessed the family was used to those antics by now.

He came up behind and hugged me and grunted “Coffee” so I poured him a cup, grabbed him a small glass of juice and told him he needed to brush his teeth or he would scare the guests away. At that I got the scowling, dirty look…for a minute…and then he broke out into his signature evil grin. Megan grabbed a doughnut and smashed it into his face and, for a quick second, I thought a food fight was going to break out…but they decided to tone it down and act like adults…but everyone did get a chuckle out of the interaction. Michael let us know he was going to take a quick shower and then head to the winery for a bit. Diane gave him a list of errands to run if he had time…Flower shop…bank…hardware store etc. She also asked him to check in with the office staff at the winery…set up a recorded voicemail on the business line and then tell everyone to go home. He looked a tad bit irritated with the list and the chores but I shot him a parental look and then he smiled…kissed Diane on the cheek and told her he’d be back before 3. I walked him out and commented on his mood…he told me that he felt better with the nap and shower and that he didn’t have time to be bogged down with being all sad today…too much to do.

“I promised you I would ask if I needed anything so I am asking…can we have sex tonight…I mean…can I make love to you tonight?

“You are such a goofball…that is what you are thinking about right now?”

“Yes…yes I am…I mean it’s been…hmm…how long”

“Too long…and I feel the same way”

“For fucks sake you do…it’s a date then! Oh, and, can you hang out around here and run interference for mom…everybody is going to want to be her friend today so just keep an eye on her…please”

“Of course…whatever she needs”

“It’s not about what she needs horndog!”

“Get out of here…you have chores to take care of…and maybe tonight there will be a reward if you get everything done”

“Yee Haa…Fuck yeah!”

He made me laugh and smile…I don’t know where this mood came from but I wasn’t going to question it. Maybe the secret was to just keep him focused on looking forward to sex…like a carrot?

The rest of the morning and early afternoon was spent taking care of the food and Diane. The girls headed off to the florist while I hung out at the house. There really was little for me to do other than answer the door…answer the phone…keep the coffee and food going and let Diane’s dogs out once in a while. It seemed like every 10 or 15 minutes a delivery person showed up…flowers…cards and notes…and the obligatory funeral casseroles…I had to chuckle at the old school concept of just always taking food when someone passes away. You end up with 10 Tuna casseroles…5 pans of lasagna…2 pots of spaghetti etc. You know how this works…and then ya gotta figure out where you are going to put it all.

There was a brief moment when it was just Diane and I in the house. I was trying to keep busy in the kitchen when I noticed her on the porch. I could tell from her body language that she was sobbing though she was trying so hard not too. I walked out with two glasses of wine and she looked up at me. It was that moment when I saw the true expression of grief on her face. The shield was down and her despair was evident. She took a glass and I rested my hand on her shoulder. Nothing needed to be said…I understood…I knew I just needed to be there next to her…be quiet…and let her have however many moments she needed.