I Said Yes

Corey and Chef Rob followed me over to the funeral home. It was after 5pm by the time we got there which was ok with me. Only 2 hours to hang out. The guys went up and talked with Michael and Diane for several minutes and then they caught up with Chris and Nolan and I. We all hung out in the back of the room for a while when I saw Michael approach.

“Why don’t you guys get outta here and go get a drink. I am gonna sneak out about 6:30 so I will meet you there”

“Are you sure…I was thinking I would head to the house to get food set up”

“Jenny and the girls already have that handled so it’s not a thing”

“Ok…if you are sure”

I got the look and realized he didn’t want to discuss it further. He “BroHugged”us all and we took off headed to the dive bar. The guys working at the bar gave us shit when we walked in telling me they were going to just assign stools with names on them for us all now. I laughed and told them that if it weren’t for our gang they would be out of business and Mark, the day bartender, laughed in agreement. Michael got there about 6:45 and I had a drink and a shot waiting for him. Dave’s golfing buddies were there and sent over a couple rounds and then said they would see us all the next day at the services. One of the golfing buddies was the Chief of Police in Walla Walla and he let Michael know there would be an escort for the procession…from the funeral home to the church and then on to the winery. I thought that was a nice touch and it was something none of us had thought about…considering the numbers of vehicles that would likely be involved…it was a good idea.

We had a few drinks…too many shots…and then the six of us headed out for the house. When we got there I was blown away by the numbers of cars there. I guess I hadn’t expected a whole lot of people to be at the house but then realized there were a lot of out of towners who came in today…Extended family and Seattle folks. Judging by numbers I had seen the past two days…and then that night…I figured all of Walla Walla would be shut down the next day.

We all hung out on the porch. The wine flowed as did the food. The girls and Jenny had made quite the dinner buffet utilizing all the food that had been brought over by various people. Diane wandered around the house making it a point to talk with everyone there. I guessed there were at least 80-100 people at the house. Michael spent some time visiting with folks and shaking hands…hugging…kissing etc. I thought that, if it were me, I would be so tired of that part but he seemed to be doing just fine. Chef Rob was on a roll and had all of us laughing. He was doing a good job at keeping the mood light and us distracted. I suspect it was good we were outside…people couldn’t really hear us so as not to be disrespectful. At one point Michael popped out and wanted a puff…we wandered down the walkway over behind a few of the cars and I lit one for him. He took a couple of hits and I asked him how he was doing…

“Hormy”

“What…?

“I said horny…im horny…you know what that means…”

“Ok…yes…I just wasn’t expecting that…”

“I know…I was just trying to get you going…mess with you…”

“Well…it worked…yaw anna walk over behind the gazebo and I will take care of that for you?”

“I was kidding…horndog”

“I know…figured I would play along now”

“Oh…you are gonna play along alright…just you wait”

“Here I am…”

Michael then moved closer…grabbed the cigarette…took a hit…exhaled and then grabbed me into a big old hug. As he was hugging he squeezed both my ass cheeks, reached down and rubbed the front of my pants and then tweeked a nipple. I closed my eyes and he gave me a peck on my cheek and then took off back towards the house.

“Ass!”

He laughed with out turning back around and disappeared. When I walked up to the guys on the porch Rob asked me if I had a hard-on…I was like what the hell…they all busted up laughing and Rob said Michael told him to ask me that…What an ass! I had to admit to myself that I was having a hard time judging Michael’s mood…actually the mood swings and I swore to myself that, at some point when this is all over, I was going to seriously smack him around for this.

More from “The Letter” from Diane; November 8, 2014

You asked me on the telephone what I thought pushed him over the edge and, at that moment in time, I could not find nor speak the answer. I believe there were three significant instances that helped push Michael to make the decision(s) that he made that day and, it has become clearer to me that those decisions were actually made long before that day.

I am glad that Chris was with him almost every day after you left but, even to this day, Chris has been very quiet about where Michael's head was at. You cannot, nor should you, fool an old woman like me so you both need to know that I am more knowledgeable about those things than anyone gives me credit for. (Feel free to pass those words of wisdom along to your amigo Chris...ha ha).

Michael took a turn for the worse when Dave passed. As you know, Dave's illness was very difficult on Michael as he felt responsible for Dave's care but couldn’t provide the time he wanted to. The illness progressed so quickly at the end that Michael was not prepared for the inevitable. I am so thankful and grateful that you were able to be here the days following and I am truly sorry that, during that time, you and I did not really have much time to chat. You know how that week was so I know you understand that part. Michael did not. He did not understand why things went so quickly and his sense of denial clouded his judgment in so many areas.

To his last days I believe he blamed himself in some way – at least for not being more realistic and spending more quality time with Dave at the end. Those were his thoughts, not mine nor Dave's. We both knew that Michael was in denial yet all we could do was have our time together and try to prepare him and the girls for what would soon come. I thank god that you were here for Michael and that Dave had that phone conversation with you before he passed and, I am sorry for not telling you that sooner.