I Said Yes

The Wheels Come Off…And Then....

We had gotten off the water taxi and walked down the dock towards the waterfront. The shoreline ran about 2 miles south alongside Ocean Blvd towards my house. The shore was mostly beach all along the way and across the street were small business and restaurants that, basically, had an ocean front view. There were picnic tables and fire pits and volleyball courts scattered on the beach all the way to my street. People walking dogs…guys playing catch with a football…a few people hitting a volleyball back and forth…the area was scattered with people. Michael took my hand and we walked a ways until he had us stop and sit at one of the tables where no one was around.

“What’s going on…it seems like suddenly there is something wrong…are you ok? Did I do or say something wrong?

“No…I don’t know what is wrong…I feel really weird…felt like I was going to hyperventilate on the boat”

“Shhh…take it easy and breath”as he rubbed his hand up and down my back…

“I don’t know what is up…all of a sudden I feel like I have no control over what is going on”

“In general or…”

“With us…”

“Are you not happy with what is going on with us…I mean it seems like everything was going ok…”

“It’s not that simple…”

“Tell me”

It was really hard for me to explain to him what was going on in my head and I could tell he was getting more and more impatient as I tried…we were so different in that way…he was very complex and yet very simple in the way he looked at things…and I was pretty black and white and organized in my thoughts…and yet, I was trying so hard to lose some of that personality trait…I could do it at work…I mean my industry pretty much forced you to go with the flow and think on your feet at all times…but away from that I think I really liked being organized and everything making sense…and this thing between us had none of those components…

“In my world…or at least in my previous private world…things were organized and had order…I mean work is different because chaos there is the nature of the beast…but personally…order and organization have always been important…what is happening now is far from those things so I feel like my head and chest are going to explode…”

“What can I do…I mean…some of it I get…but some…well…I’m not sure what to do or say”

“It’s not you…well…yes, it is…but the big picture is me not handling it well”

“What is it…what is the thing you aren’t handling”

“Don’t you get that part…US…I am not handling us…I mean less than a year ago I was married to a woman…we had been together almost 20 years…life was ordinary and organized…and now I am way far from that…I am dating with and sleeping with and having sex with and…in love with…a man…Do you get what a departure that is for me?”

“you are in love with me?”

“That’s what you got out of that…and yes…I am IN love with you…why do you think I said yes?”

Michael stood up and came across to my side of the table, sat down and just hugged me. Of all his hugs…and there were lots…this one was intense. I knew I was on the verge of going all out bat-shit crazy and somehow, he managed to keep that from happening by holding me. In retrospect I have not been able to figure out why it was that he had such an impact on me…emotionally…physically…and, I guess, in some way…spiritually. What I did know was that I had fallen for this guy and the intensity of my feelings were totally screwing me up.

He reached for my hand and I grabbed his, stood up…and we began walking down the beach. After a little bit of time I felt like I was regaining my composure. The whole time we were walking I could feel his eyes on me…but when I would turn, he would look away as if he were sneaking the looks. The scenery and location, on my favorite beach, was so soothing to me that I could tell my melt-down was basically complete. He had managed to calm me…to make me feel secure and to let me know how he felt just by walking and hugging and holding hands…I had decided that, because he had so much baggage of his own…he had an innate ability to help me with mine and it was working.

We kept walking til we got to the little touristy area of the beach and ducked in for a beer and a quick bite at one of the local seafood diners. It was quick and mellow and soon we were walking up the hill to the house. I was emotionally exhausted but, in a strange way, very content. He took the pups out while I opened some wine and turned on the tv. When he came back in we had a quick smoke and all settled in for a little tube time. It was quiet…nothing of substance was said…or even viewed on the tv. Just a quiet and natural end to our day. It wasn’t long before I realized he was shaking me…I had fallen asleep…and he ushered us into the bedroom where we undressed and laid down…fighting the pups for position. I don’t know when it happened, but sleep came very quickly for me and I don’t think I budged or dreamt all night.

Sometime around 6 am my internal alarm clock jolted me up and out of bed....I usually got myself up at 5ish so I could have coffee, read the paper, relax and get ready for work.....of course on this day I was a bit disoriented as we had a late one the previous night and today was the beginning of 3 days of nonstop activity. As I surveyed my surroundings and, realizing I was naked, I saw my CK's on the chair by the bed so I put them on.... walked into the bathroom and took the mother of all leaks. I groggily wandered out of the bedroom towards the smell of fresh Italian roast coffee coming from the kitchen.

There he was, in those damn sexy white CK's leaning over the kitchen counter with his back and that glorious backside facing me.... damn that is a hot picture...still to this day in my head! I walked up and smacked him on the ass and he turned and kissed me and stroked my chest saying good morning. With that he offered me a cup of java and invited me to sit down on the stool at the counter with him. As I was sipping the coffee I watched as he moved around the kitchen putting dishes and glasses away from the dishwasher… (When he became so domesticated, I don’t know?) He, in my mind, was still the epitome of hotness and junior was making an appearance again just at the site of my own personal CK model. Michael then turned and said "Listen, I think we probably ought to talk before we have to get outta here" and I thought, uh oh, here we go....the gentle and easy let down – somehow I had managed to screw this whole thing up with my melt down the previous day…

I was totally surprised when Michael said,

"I am really feeling bad about last night and, for that matter, the last several weeks. I have been so consumed with my own shit I have not thought about how you were doing. You have been there for me and I think I have taken that for granted… I know we have to get over to The Convention Center, but I want you to know I am getting it…about you…I am getting it”

I got up and walked over to him and put his coffee cup down on the counter and leaned in and kissed him and whispered

"I love you".

He pulled away and got that big ole grin on his face and then leaned in and kissed my cheek, my neck and then started his tongue down my chest to my nips.....my mind started to race as he kind of nudged me back towards the bar stool, his tongue never losing contact with my skin and as I leaned back on the stool he moved lower and lower finding my own happy trail and then further south. Once he arrived at the waistband his mouth engulfed my rock-hard cock through the shorts as he put his fingers inside the band and worked them down again freeing junior up to wave in the wind.

This time it was me that only took a minute or two to shoot as he took my entire member in his mouth and worked my nuts and ass with both hands....he bobbed up and down like it was his favorite ice cream cone or sucker and I felt the rumble in my nuts begin - I knew it was pointless to tell him because he appeared to be on a mission and that mission was to get a monster load out of me before our day started. I shot so hard that I cramped up in my calf and tried to move around a bit but he just grabbed my ass cheeks and sucked me like a shop vac taking every single drop I could pump and when I was done he took that magic tongue and worked it all the way back up to where he started. We kissed, smiled at each other and he said

"Now that's the best part of waking up"