I Said Yes

The first viewing was attended by a mob of people. The girls, Diane and Michael had a few minutes of alone time in the massive room prior to them opening the doors. Jenny and I stayed outside until the doors opened and Jenny manned the guest book. It was important to Diane to have folks sign in so she, at some point, could send out thank you cards to those who came. I went up and knelt on the bench in front of Dave’s casket and did my catholic “Hail Mary’s” and such. I then went over to Diane and the girls and hugged them…Michael reached out to shake my hand and gave me the classic Bro-hug and then I went and found Chris and Nolan in a corner and hung out with them. Chris asked me what that was all about and all I could do was shrug and tell him we were being discreet…both guys chuckled at that idea but let it go…

The rest of the afternoon played out as you would expect. Diane was the gracious hostess and the girls and Michael worked the room like it were a special event…of course it was…but I was struck by how they all held up and seemed to try and comfort the guests as opposed to the other way around. The girls had done a great job picking the flowers and there were several poster-size pictures of Dave on easels scattered around the room. I did see several people who were “industry” folks and others I had met through the winery. I guess it came as no surprise to people that I was there and I worked hard at playing my part…or role as I should say.

Just prior to the viewing coming to a close I approached Diane and Michael and told them Jenny and I were going to head to the house and get something put together food-wise. Diane insisted that she wanted to take the group over to Amore for dinner and Michael shot me a look and then said they would meet us there. Diane said she already made arrangements with Chef John so all we had to do was show up. I was amazed at how together Diane was and managing every little detail…I shouldn’t have been surprised as this was her personality…but I was still amazed.

I gave Jenny a ride over to the restaurant (she had left her car at the house) and we had a chance to chat more before the rest arrived. It was clear that she had figured Michael and I out…not sure how…but she had. She told me that she was thankful I was there to support Michael and how happy he was when I was around…then she joked about me being there to do the grunt work so she wouldn’t have to. I enjoyed chatting with her and having her affirm that I was important to Michael…especially considering his mood and my doubts about us over the course of the day. She had worked for the family for almost 20 years so she clearly had her finger on their pulse and I could tell she was heartbroken about Dave’s death. She was a good soldier though and was clearly dedicated to do whatever Diane needed her to. I told her that, in my small role…I was thankful for and to her…that I knew it meant a lot to the family.

Dinner passed and things were kept fairly light-hearted. Everyone seemed to be in mellow moods and spent the evening relaxing and chatting. Chef John appeared at the table a couple of times and sat down during dessert having brought snifters of brandy and cognac for the table. Michael sat across the table from me and I got several glances from him but he didn’t really address me at all during the meal. As we were finishing the brandy he did ask if he could ride back to the house with me. Jenny had decided to ride with the girls and Diane so I said sure. He winked, giving me a little hope that he was in a better space. We all said our goodnights to Chef John and the staff…thanking them profusely for the attention and service. Diane huddled with Chef for a few minutes before we left and then we were all out of there.

The first five minutes of the ride was silent and then, with no warning, Michael put his hand on my thigh and rubbed it lightly. We were at a stop light and I looked over at him and he, very quietly, said

“I am sorry”.I let that go and just nodded and things were quiet the rest of the way. I did ask him if he wanted to stop at the dive bar for a quicky and he said no…wanted to just go home…have a glass of wine and go to bed. I was actually ok with that…it had, in fact, been a long day for everyone and with two viewings tomorrow, a really long day also.

Michael poured us each a large glass of wine and we went and sat on the porch. I had brought the pups out and Diane’s three dogs were out too. We watched all the “kids” play with each other…chase balls…run around all over the front yard and just be goofy. They were all happy to be out and playing. Michael kind of chuckled a few times at them and got quiet again. Several minutes went by before either of us said anything. Sassy had come up and jumped into my lap and was content to just lay there and watch the others.

“Have you ever thought about having more kids?”

“Wow, where did that come from?”

“Seriously”

“Well…no…With my boys both grown and out of the house I feel like I have done my civic duty at this point” (I was trying to be funny)

“Honestly…and seriously…you haven’t thought about it”

“Honestly…no”

“Would you?”

“Think about it or do it?”

“Would you ever consider having more kids”

“unless there is something you are not telling me…I’m pretty sure that’s not possible with us” (Again, trying to add some humor)

“Why can’t you be serious”

“I’m sorry…honestly, no…I have not thought about it. Remember up until several months ago I was married…and Penny and I, at the time, were somewhat happy to have the boys out on their own…considering age…and what was happening in our lives…it was something neither of us considered”

“So what about now?”

“You mean with you…you and I?”

“Yep”

“Is that something you want…do you want to have a family?”

“I have thought about it…I think it would be amazing to have a son”

“Well…I think, if it is important to you, than you should think hard about it…I don’t know that right now is the time to consider it…but that’s just my opinion…You have to decide what you want”

“I know…it’s just been on my mind the past few days and I wondered what you thought”

“I think, if it’s important to you, then we should talk more about it…but again, I am not sure this is the right time”

“I know…ok…can we just go in and go to bed?

“I am good with that…you need some rest. Let’s finish the wine and I will gather all the dogs and get them in”

“K”

We both lit up a smoke while finishing the glasses of wine. I was surprised that, after all the bantering back and forth today, that the subject of kids came up…I mean that was out of nowhere. I had expected to duke it out over the way we had talked to each other today and I was going to smack him around a bit…but a conversation about kids was nowhere on my radar! The house was quiet…only the kitchen light on so I gathered the dogs, put the wine glasses in the dishwasher and headed back to guest room. When I got there Michael was already out…sleeping in his clavin’s on top of the sheet. As much as I was tempted…I didn’t…I just kissed him on the forehead, got undressed and went to bed. Sleep actually came fast and easy.

I awoke about 7:30 to the sounds of the Journey ring tone on my phone. I had forgotten that the alarm was set. I reached over and Michael was already up and out of the room. I did hear the shower running in the bath next door so I got up and wandered in there completely forgetting I was in my underwear, wandering around, in someone else’s house…oh well. I said good morning and he responded with the typical “bout time” crack. He turned the shower off and opened the curtain.

“Yum…1 more minute and I would have been in there with you”

“hmmm…I don’t think so…not in mom’s house”

“You didn’t have a problem playin around in the hot tub the other night”

“Yea…well…that was in the middle of the night and it was dark out”

“Ok, ok…you are right”

“You know it”

I was really glad he seemed to be in a better mood that morning. Don’t know why and was not gonna over think it…just happy about it.

“So whats the plan for this morning?”

“Viewing is from 10 to 1 and 4 to 7…I think the girls are already up and putting some food together for everyone and then gonna head out about 9:30”

“Ok…I will get ready if you want me to go with you…I don’t have to you know”

“I know…how about you come with this morning and if you don’t wanna hang around I will understand…you can bring your car and bail when you want”

“Ok…there is some stuff I need to do this afternoon…I have to go over to Amore and grab some supplies and meet the delivery guys at the winery this afternoon”

“Gotcha…well…I want you there with me but I appreciate all the stuff you are handling. I know Diane will want to come back here in between the two viewings but she will probably want to go have dinner after the second.”

“I will just play it by ear…Will probably just use the afternoon to get things set up for tomorrow and then meet you later at the funeral home

“That works…now get naked and in the shower…don’t want to be late”

I did as I was told and got the monster smack on the ass as I was entering the shower…I turned to say something and he was already headed out the door, naked, and I was too late. I finished, dressed, grabbed some jeans, a t-shirt and my tennis shoes to take with to have when I started the set up for the memorial. The girls had put out some more muffins and fruit so I nibbled a bit, had a cup of coffee and off we all went. There were as many people at the morning viewing as there were yesterday so I mingled a bit with a few folks I knew…Chris was there for a bit and then he and I decided to excuse ourselves and head over to the winery. As I left I got another BroHug from Michael and Chris and I laughed all the way out to the cars.

We got to the winery and I was happy that it looked like the weather was going to cooperate for the next two days. Just as Jenny had said the rental company arrive promptly at 12 pm. The funeral home had already dropped off the casket stand and placed it near the fire pit. With tables and chairs all unloaded it was all hands on deck as the winery staff all came to help. There were 800 chairs and 20 large round tables to deal with. I went into the bathroom and changed into my jeans and tennis shoes and we began that arduous task of setting up the grounds.

I set up the front row with 10 chairs on each side of the aisle facing the casket stand. This would be for the immediate family and then each row after would have 20 chairs on each side of the aisle. I sat 10 chairs off to the side for the pall bearers and the officiants and others that would be reading. Within about two and a half hours the chairs were set and I was impressed with how fast the crew worked. We scattered the large round tables around the grounds and I figured people could just grab chairs after the service if they wanted to sit down.

Chef John’s crew arrived just as the set up was done and we showed them where they could store their equipment and where the walk-ins were for food storage. The tasting room had a pretty big commercial kitchen so prepping everything would be easy in the morning. About that time Corey arrived with Chef Rob and they unloaded all of the equipment and food from our restaurant.

Once that was done I took Corey and Rob up to the apartment where they would stay the next two nights…I took a quick shower and got my funeral clothes back on. By the time I was finished those guys had dressed in their Sunday best…they had decided they would go to the funeral home with me for a bit…pay their respects…and then head back. In the interim I had sent Michael a text and told him the plan from our side…it took a bit for him to respond but I knew they were probably just relaxing at the house…

“Sounds good…will just meet you guys at the funeral home. Tell them to plan on dinner with all of us after…think it’s gonna be a pot luck at the house”