I Said Yes

Though I felt weird and, somewhat, guilty about our escapades the previous night, We woke with energy and purpose. Lot’s to do…lots to talk about and lot’s to think about but the next few days were all going to be about Diane, Dave and the family. I could only imagine, with the numbers of friends, wine club members and business colleagues, how many people are going to flood the funeral home, the church and the winery over the next few days.

Michael and I took off and went to the winery as he wanted to get a few office-related things taken care of and I needed to grab some clothes. We had a few hours before he was supposed to report to the funeral home for the first afternoon/evening of viewing and greeting people. The girls and Michael had decided they would take turns at the funeral home. Diane had planned on being there for the entirety even though they all tried to convince her she didn’t need to be. She wanted to…that’s what is expected of her…and that is what Dave would want…period…end of discussion. That was so just like her I had to chuckle secretly.

I grabbed my stuff and threw it in the truck and went into the office where I found Michael listening to voicemails on the business line. He was just kind of staring out the window as he listened on the speaker phone. Message after message after message played on…Can we bring you anything…Can we do anything…Do you need anything…What time are the services…Is the Winery open for business??????

Is the winery open for business? In my head that was a weird question but I was trying to downplay it…Michael had a weird look on his face and then I noticed a tear….

“Some people are just plain ole stupid” “What the fuck do people think? It’s just business as usual?”

“I am gonna guess it is someone who didn’t know your folks and just happened to call to come do tasting”

“Stupid shits didn’t listen to the voicemail…The outgoing message said there had been a death and we would be closed for several days”

“Oh…well then…I guess they are pretty stupid”

“For fucks sake…”

“Is there something I can help with or that you need me to do?”

“You too now…NO…don’t need anything”

I was on the verge of smacking him right upside then head when he snapped at me like that but I chose to take the high road and told him I was gonna go have a smoke and would be outside when he was ready. He never looked up at me from the papers he was staring at so I just slipped out of the office. I wandered out by the fire pit and surveyed the grounds trying to picture how the set up would be for the memorial. In looking around It felt like the fire pit would be the perfect focal point. Not to be disrespectful in describing my “vision” but placing the casket stand…or “Bier” as I would come to know it was called...placing the Bier in front of the fire pit with chairs facing it (backs to parking areas) would be the most logical set up. That leaves room for two sections of chairs…left and right separated by a large center aisle, I figured we could probably get about 600-800 chairs in that spot if need be…and then I wondered to myself…”Are there that many rental chairs in Walla Walla? Diane would want everything to be uniform and match…maybe I will call Chef and ask…or better yet…Jenny, Diane’s friend and office manager, would know. I made a note (I was carrying a small note pad on me just for this reason) to talk with Jenny about the chairs and then I circled around the grounds a bit. Another note to self…make arrangements for parking attendants…guys to manage the lots and valet if necessary. And more…pop up tents if necessary…I had checked the forecast and it was to be unusually warm for that time of year…highs in the upper 50’s during the day but no rain or snow…not sure if the sun was going to be out but figured we’d need to have a pop up or two just for drill.

Since I was thinking about the weather I figured we would have to have a last-minute back up plan in case it turned. The tasting room would, in a seated set up, hold about 200 people but I knew, since the winery was developed from the remnants and grounds of the old municipal airport there was other space…I just hadn’t seen it. Near the production building (where the apartment was) were two other “hangars” that were used for equipment storage and bottling. As I looked at both the bottling building was packed and not available for use but the equipment building could be ready if needed and, I guessed, could seat 500-600 people in chairs and more if some stood. Perfect…I had a plan and a back-up plan and could report that to Michael and Diane. All I needed to do was talk to Chef John about food and Jenny about the few other things on my note pad.

I lit another smoke and went and sat down at a picnic table to call Jenny. I got her right away and got those few details worked out…she was going to order chairs and some round tables to be delivered tomorrow afternoon so set up could be done ahead and she would call and get the parking guys/valet company set up. She was so dialed in with the locals I knew this would be done right away but did tell her to call if she ran into any problems…she said she would call but not to worry…both companies were used by the winery regularly and were old friends. Sometimes life in a small town is just…well…easier.

I had time for a couple of smokes before Michael came out to the truck. He was carrying a file box full of papers and a couple of bottles of wine. He loaded the stuff in the truck and asked what I had been doing…

“I was wandering around trying to decide how to set things up for the memorial and then I talked with Jenny about equipment and supplies…Hey…if the weather were to turn could we use the equipment building as a back up?”

“I spose…I will let you figure that out…I don’t have time to deal with that shit”

“Ok…handled”

I decided to give him a pass on the asshole routine considering the circumstances. There would be no way to smack him around for it and, I suspected, I was being a little selfish and sensitive about his tone and the way he was snarking at me…let it go matt.

“Going back to the house and we will have about and hour and a half to get ready to go to the funeral home”

“Ok…I was thinking about not going”

“What?”

“Well…I figured it was family time and I don’t want to intrude”

“Does that mean you won’t be there at all today”

“I just figured…”

“Fine…whatever…do what you want”

“Hey…knock it off…I just didn’t want to get in the way or have you focused on anything other than what you needed to focus on”

“you are thinking a lot of yourself today aren’t ya”

“Damn…ok…you tell me what you want from me today and how you want me to handle it and I will do it”

He didn’t respond and we did not speak at all during the 10-15 minute drive back to the house. Again, I was going to just let it go…I had already popped off more than I had wanted to.

We got back to the house and the girls, Chris, Nolan and Jenny were there and the house was a flurry of activity. I went in and sat down with Jenny in the kitchen and she had already taken care of her projects. Tables and chairs were to be delivered at noon the next day and valet service was set up. She said Chef John had been by and wanted me to stop over at the restaurant to talk about food stuff for the memorial. I told Michael that I was going to do that and would come over to the funeral home after. He just kind of grunted and said ok. I went back into the guest room we were using and I put my suit on…took the pups out…had a smoke and then said my good byes telling everyone I would see them in a couple of hours. Michael was no where to be found when I left so I sent him a text telling simply that I loved him.

Chef John was ready to sit down when I got there. I dialed Corey and put him on speaker phone so he could hear what the plan was. Chef said that he would do a bunch of meat, cheese and fruit boards and it would be good if we could do something to compliment that. Corey and I decided to do several platters of Bruschetta along with our house-made bread and roasted garlic dipping sauce. Chef John was happy with the plan…he helped us figure out portions for the anticipated numbers of people and we chatted about supplies. It all seemed dialed in and then Corey and I talked details about transporting the food and equipment. It was all pretty straight forward. Corey let me know that he would come up in the morning and that Chef Rob agreed to come to be the go-to guy for all the food related stuff. He and Chef John knew each other and were both comfortable with this plan. I was happy I was able to cross all of the food related issues off my list and I sent Jenny a text letting her know it was all handled and would see her later. As I was saying goodbye to Chef John I got a text from Michael….

“Meet me at the bar in 30…”

“Ok…on my way now…done here”

Not sure what to expect with Michael I headed over to the dive bar. When I went in there was only one other person at the bar so I pulled up a stool and ordered a drink. About 10 minutes later Michael came in…sat down…ordered a drink and 2 shots. He downed the first shot and then looked at me…it was hard to gauge his mood…didn’t seem grumpy…at least not like earlier in the day…but still somewhat sullen and quiet. His mood swings over the last 24 hours were confusing to me but I just chalked it up to the emotions and anxiety from what was going on.

“So what’s up with you? Are you upset with me?”

“Michael…I am not upset with you…I will say that I think you have been kind of a butthead today but I am thinking you are entitled considering”

“Funny…I was thinking the same about you”

“Ok…well…if I have added anything to your stress level I am sorry…All I want to do is be here for you and help with whatever I can”

“We have to figure out how we are going to act”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…people in this town don’t know about me…or us…so we have to be careful…a lot of very important people will be seeing us in the next 3 days”

“I take that to mean I should keep my distance…see…that is why I was trying to tell you I don’t have to be there today…or tomorrow”

“Why do you have to take it personal…I am just trying to figure it out”

“Well, I am just trying to figure us out…so I don’t think I am being sensitive about it…I just need you to tell me what you want”

“I am just not ready to announce to the world that we are together…that is the last thing I need to deal with right now”

“Well, how about this…why don’t I just be a good friend in public…a friend who happens to be helping with the events and a professional colleague of your parents”

“Shit…that sounded awful…don’t be mad”

“I am just saying…you tell me how to play it and I will get an academy award for my performance”

I knew that sounded really shitty at the moment but I was over it. He knew it too but he couldn’t bring himself to apologize or explain further so we just left it at that. I told him I would go to the funeral home, in my car, and be in the room for support…he would have to take the lead in terms of contact between us and whether or not he needed anything from me. He nodded, finished his drink and off we went…in separate cars.