I Said Yes

As we drove from the MET over to the parking lot near Zig Zag, I had to chuckle about the escapade in the ally. For a brief second I was concerned about the possibility of having been seen…I was fairly well known in town, especially by the folks affiliated with the MET as I had worked at the sister restaurant, Elliott’s, so if we had been seen then the rumor mill and gossip mongers would have been working in overdrive…ah well, I thought to myself, it is what it is!! We pulled into the lot just down the street from Zig Zag and parked and Michael just sat there for a minute…a silly look on his face…

“I may need you to take care of something for me” (Michael)

“You know I would do just about anything for you…”

“Then maybe you can take care of this for me…” (Michael)

As I was looking at him he had grabbed his crotch…clearly he was still a little worked up and, as a side effect of our romp in the ally, he was still semi-hard.

“You are a beast you horn dog…you know if we were still in the alley I would but not out here on the street…geeeeez”

“Ha-Ha…I was only kidding…I knew you wouldn’t…it was a test. Maybe we should play truth or dare…I would win” (Michael)

“I think you are right…you would win…when I said I would do just about anything…well…there are limits ya know”

“I am working pretty fuckin hard at breaking down or testing those limits

ya know…” (Michael)

“I do know…it is kind of scary to think about sometimes…ha-ha”

“Be afraid…very afraid” (Michael)

As he said that he was smiling and stroking the side of my face. He was clearly kidding about going another round in the truck…in the parking lot…but he was getting a lot of pleasure teasing and tormenting me at that moment. Just about then a knock on the passenger window class scared the shit out of me…Chris had come up along side the truck and banged on the window.

“Mother fuck…that scared the shit outta me”

“I know…that’s what I was going for” (Chris)

“Well you succeeded”

“I didn’t want you guys to get busted doin the nasty in the truck” (Chris)

“Ha…had you been 30 seconds later you might have” (Michael)

We all got a good laugh out of that exchange…rolled up the windows and Michael and I joined Chris on the walk from the parking lot up to Zig Zag…about 3 blocks.

Nolan and Corey and Rob were already there…holding down a spot in the corner watching Murray make his magic. We had decided to grab a couple of tables on the patio so there were two rounds of Murray specials on their way. Michael pulled out a pack of cigars and we all sat down. It was a great night…Michael telling stories about the people at the Wine Dinner…he talked a little business with Chris for a few minutes while Rob, Corey and I did the same. Nolan was making rounds at various tables chatting with some of the industry folks he knew so, in general, it was a perfect wind-down to the day and evening. Michael was excited to be able to hit up the tasting room at Nolan’s winery the following day…he had not seen the new tasting room and was looking forward to checking it out.

At some point, during the course of the evening while I was smoozing at tables of Elliott’s staff, Rob came over and made a comment about me leaving Seattle and moving over to Walla Walla. I was completely caught off guard and confused about how and why that whole thing came up. I shrugged it off until Rob and I walked up to the bar and I asked him where that came from…

“uh…Michael was telling the guys that it was going to happen…I think he said sooner rather than later” (Rob)

“how did that even come up…I mean…what did he say?”

“I think Nolan and he were talking about some things happening at his winery and your name was brought up…it sounded like you were going to work with him or something like that” (Rob)

“Seriously…that was brought up?”

“Yeah. I mean I was only half listening but I am pretty sure that’s what he said” (Rob)

“Well, what the fuck”

“Is that really happening? I know you met with Colleen and them but I thought that was gonna be a ways down the road” (Rob)

“Well, that was the plan…a gradual transition…we don’t even have the changes outlined yet”

“Are you pissed at me…I’m sorry if I was talking out of my ass” (Rob)

“Well…I wish you would have said something to me instead of at the table with all those yahoos from Elliott’s but it’s ok…you didn’t know. I think I am a little grumpy that he said something…anything at all about it”

“I am sorry boss…I didn’t mean to stir shit up” (Rob)

“You didn’t…he did”

“Uh oh…I have seen that look on your face before…I’m thinking this isn’t pretty…and not going to end well” (Rob)

“Don’t worry about it…I will deal with it”

We each grabbed a handful of drinks for our table and wandered back. Michael was in rare form, telling funny stories and joking around with the guys…said tomorrow’s mission was to get drunk on Nolan’s wines. It occurred to me that he was pretty hammered at that point…he wasn’t being obnoxious or anything but he was on a tear…I hadn’t really seen him like this…but he was having a good time.

I had found that my mood had changed. The comments from Rob brought me back to a reality that, sooner rather than later, I was going to have to deal with. While my owners were totally open to what ever changes I wanted to make in the organizational structure, I wasn’t yet convinced that I should do down that road. I had fallen in love with Michael and had learned to deal with his quirks and moods and personality…I was just a little put off…well a lot put off by him bringing the issue up in front of our friends before he and I had really firmed anything up. I had committed to stuff on my end but I wasn’t there yet…so for him to pop off about what was going to happen…and soon…it irritated me. There he was again, putting the proverbial cart before the horse…I knew that it would be all over town by tomorrow morning and the stories and gossip would be coming out of the woodwork. Shit…I was not ready for all that shit right then and, the more I thought about it that evening, the grumpier I got.

As the evening was beginning to wind down Michael came over and sat in an empty chair next to me and kissed me on the cheek…unusual for either of us in public still…

“What’s up stud…you look like you are spinning about something” (Michael)

“It’s no big deal…we can talk about it later”

“Come on…we are having a good time…what’s the deal?” (Michael)

“Let it go…I am ok…now is not the time”

“Ok, whatever” (Michael)

He started to get up saying he was going to order another round. I wondered if he should have anymore…I was feeling a buzz but I knew he was into his buzz far more than me…but he was a grown ass man and could do what he wanted. While he was at the bar I joined in the conversation with the guys…talking football…that was all anyone wanted to talk about those days. The season was coming up and the SeaHawk freaks were starting to get ramped up. I was more a college football fan and was not a fan of the Seahawks…but I went out of my way to not be negative about the home team.

Michael came back to the table with a tray full of snifters…Louis XIII of course…and we all indulged in sipping and smoking cigars. This was, typically, the way any evening spent, at Zig Zag, ended.

The gang chatted about the following day…Corey and Rob would be working at our restaurant so they wouldn’t be able to join us at the Winery. Nolan was scheduled to be off but he planned on joining us…and then going with us to Ste. Michelle if we ended up doing that and then everyone was going to meet up for dinner at Elliott’s. I was trying to get myself out of the funk I was in but was still pretty irritated with Michael. I knew there was going to be a conversation about what he had said and I was hoping that he would understand why his comments bugged me but I couldn’t be sure. At any rate, we said good night to all and we wondered back up to the truck. During the walk he insisted that I tell him what was up…(And the conversation continued on the drive home.)

“Did you really say something to the guys about me moving up to Walla Walla soon?”

“What? I think it came up in a bigger conversation…is that what you are mad about?” (Michael)

“I just have things to work out and, when I do, I need to have that conversation with Corey and Rob…They know I am working on some stuff but I think talking about me moving is a little bit premature”

“You said that would be the plan” (Michael)

“Then you weren’t paying attention…I said it was one of the things I talked with Colleen about but we are no where close to having an actual plan”

“My bad then…I am just impatient about it…I feel like it’s not going to happen” (Michael)

“Making a major shift in the restaurant company is not something to rush into or to take lightly…I think it would be different if I owned it but I don’t so I have to be smart about the way I work through it…and telling my employees before I get to that point isn’t good”

“I really need to get moving on our stuff…I mean I have to make some alterations at the winery and figure out what Diane will be doing…When you come to work there it will be an adjustment for everyone” (Michael)

“Are you listening to yourself? You are giving yourself the option of working through a plan when it comes to the winery but you haven’t given me the same option when it comes to working out a plan for the restaurant…for my career and my house”

“I don’t know what the big deal is…these guys are our friends…they know what we want to do” (Michael)

“And therein lies the problem…Yes, Corey and Rob are friends…but they work for me…so it is important to have all the info and facts when dumping stuff on them…Would you handle it the same way with Chris…or Nolan when he worked for you?”

“I think you are over thinking it…it sounds like you want it to be a thing…like you want to fight about it” (Michael)

“Fuck no…I don’t want to fight about any of it…I would just like you to give a little thought to what I think…and the fact that, whatever we do, it will have an impact on other people…good or bad, it will affect them”

“I still think you are bugged about nothing…it is not that big a deal” (Michael)

“Noted. But I guarantee, when and if we see Rob and Corey again…like tomorrow, it will come up…probably right off the bat…so either I am going to sound stupid or I am going to make you sound stupid…They will be irritated that I hadn’t filled them in yet”

“Well, sounds like you already think I am stupid so that won’t be hard for you” (Michael)

“That’s not what I said…but you, with your surprises all the time…not talking to me before you announce things…that’s what makes us look silly”

“I guess I just can’t say anything right these days” (Michael)

“Don’t be a martyr…I am just trying to get you to understand, like always, that I would like us to have a conversation about this kind of stuff before it’s announced to the world. We committed to doing our own part when we were up in Cannon but, mostly, we agreed to talk about this important stuff”

“Well, I have been waiting, and waiting” (Michael)

“Oh fuck that noise…I told you what I was going to do and, so far, I have followed through so you don’t get to say that shit”

“Ya know…this is bullshit…now you aren’t listening to me so what the fuck” (Michael)

“See, that’s what you do…you make up your mind, in your head, and then you think I should be able to read your mind and just go with the flow…it’s pretty selfish if you think about it”

“It feels like this isn’t gonna go anywhere…So, tell me, what is your plan and when is it going to happen” (Michael)

“You see, you make it sound so simple”

“Well, in my mind it is. Either you want to be with me and you are gonna move up the hill or you don’t…like you want things to stay the way they are” (Michael)

“Really, that’s what you are getting out of this?”

“That’s what it sounds like” (Michael)

“Wow, then you really haven’t been paying attention at all”

“You made one little comment into a big old thing…I don’t get that. You are the one being the martyr it seems” (Michael)

“Alright…you know what…I am done with this chat. Maybe we better let it go for now and just go to bed. I don’t want a full blown argument…I just wanted you to know I didn’t like you jumping the gun”

“Gotcha…well…I guess that’s that” (Michael)

We had been sitting in the truck in the driveway for about 20 minutes when we decided to end the conversation. We went in the house and I took the pups out for a quick walk. When we returned, Michael was already in bed and breathing heavy…I could tell he was on the verge of full-blown sleep. I walked around to the side of the bed and kissed him on the head and told him I loved him…turned off the light and went back out to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine and sat down at the dining room table…

“What the hell am I gonna do…why doesn’t he get this part…why doesn’t he get me?”