The Start

From your Author:

 I have asked before why so many would rate and only one commented. Thank you, Eddie. I had a reader break it down for me in an email. I don’t like to lay heave shit on you but, they’re the young ones who visit this site!

 This reader liked the storyline and he likes to read without all the strong sex. He seemed like a level headed kid in his email. I want to say that was never my intention. I never thought kids would read what I wrote. Call me naive. 

 I think that’s something all of us should think about. I’m not saying if you have kids you should spy on then but pay attention. Does your child of twelve or fifteen have unfettered access to the net? Are they watching porn on their phone while sitting across from you watching porn with your volume down?

 I think we are raising a generation of boys that will be rendered impudent by porn. When at fifteen a boy can’t get it up without it. Then the first real chance comes and the things they watched or read were not real life. Chances are that girl won’t deep throat you or be willing to be fucked in the ass. And your best friend won’t either.  

 Kids can’t distinguish between what they see and read and real life. It will be the next huge addiction. Think about a generation of twenty year olds that can only get it up when watching hard core, XXX porn, and jacking off in the dark. I guess that would slowly reduce the population but was that the plan along?

 It’s not just kids but all men between twenty and fifty. Your marriage has fallen into the same old dual routine; you watch porn and jack off because it’s just easier and when you try and perform with out it and it doesn’t work, what do you do? You might meet up with a fuck buddy every now and then because he is in the same situation. I’m just saying.  

 I appreciate our host but I would present a challenge. Can you do more to keep kids off this site? I honestly never thought about kids sitting in the dark reading my story. I would pose the same challenge to parents. They’re called parental controls for a reason. 

 As the parent you can require a password to delete history on any device your child has. I told the young reader to back away from sites like this and engage life and his youth that I wish I had back. 

 I hope I haven’t offended anyone because all I wanted to do was challenge everyone to stop and think. Kudos goes to my honest reader for opening my eyes and maybe yours.

 This is what I said in chapter one; set up for what follows. Two new main characters will be introduced and you all need to understand that I never really thought much about a Book Two. Book one was done before the first chapter was ever published and this one I am writhing as I post so I need at least two weeks between chapters. RJC.   

 Dean’s POV:

 Nikita and I made it to Bismarck in minutes and the drive home took considerably longer. I wasn’t expecting what the doctor told me. Build a box and deal with it later. And that’s exactly what I did. I got back in time to get on a plane to Tennessee. 

 I hope Niki knows she is my rock. She really is. I remember when she called this one of my wet dreams that she was expected to make happen. I wasn’t trying to challenge her but I wanted her ready when the time came. I never expected it to be on my last birthday but she pulled it off.

 When we returned to LA I spent eighteen hours a day for thirty days straight in the studio and pumped out fifteen songs. But Niki forced a break on the Fourth of July. Don and I talked often because so much was happening; by that I mean bad shit.

 There had been three school shootings and two random mass. For some reason I became the ‘go to’ guy for that shit. Don and I were on the same page when it came to this and I didn’t mind talking to him or Anderson. Niki set us up for the fifth.

 After the once in a life time experience I did my one on one with Don. It wasn’t rehearsed and we just talked on his deck. I agreed to the camera because I trusted him. He would never use my words against me because he knew I was straight with him and appreciated honesty.

 Donny and Jeff were a surprise and I knew Don was a little pre-occupied thinking about Donny. I had just turned eighteen and I was Dean Cooper and Don Lemon was going to have the only interview ever done with Donny Fossness.

 Just so you know; I was coming into my own. But the box I built was too small to hold what I wanted; build a bigger one. And that’s what I did. Niki and I thought the interviews went well.

 After another month I needed a break and I wanted to make things right with Niki. I took her to dinner at the same hole in the wall John took me. I knew what she’d think.

 “Pops,” I said holding out my arms. I remembered back when the realization of the term, Kid, made such an impact on me. Kid was a term of endearment. And Family meant something. And I was both in this place.

 I pulled her close and with so much pride in my voice said, “This is Niki, Pops.” I knew as sure as the sun will set; Niki thought she’d been punked.

 I could tell by the hug she gave him. I have been the recipient of those hugs, they’re special. I knew when Pops said, “this here skinny white girl is Niki, and she’s family.” Niki was positive she was on Candid Camera.

 It had been four months since London and if I wasn’t recording I was wondering. Niki was the first girl I ever slept with and she made an impression. Part of it was, I don’t know? I thought I loved Rick; maybe I did; but Niki. There was no doubt.

 She affirmed my A game in a very public way but nobody had their phones out. It hadn’t caught up with me yet and I spent five days loving Niki in every way I knew. She let me explore her body and how mine could make hers react. I am eighteen after all. She might not have known but I did; we made a baby. I had already started laying ground work for my Foundation. I had aspirations.

 After five days of never being out of reach we went back to work and I attempted the same schedule but my energy was fading and my enemy became my friend again. Red Bull. It’s not like the stones are going to kill me.

 I thankfully finished my obligations; thirty three songs and my birthday album. I knew I had ten days before the AMA’s. I felt like shit just leaving Niki sleeping. I walked out with the clothes on my back and a stack of cash.

 I flew to Washington and met with the Doctor that was referred months ago. It was moving fast. I told her I didn’t feel that bad and she nodded.

 Doctors are supposed to be strong. “Mr. Cooper, your oxygen level is low.”

 “What does that mean,” I asked?

 “You breathe but your lungs don’t absorb the oxygen. You’re going to start feeling light headed and like you can’t catch your breath. I’m writing a prescription for Morphine because if you’re not in pain now, you will be soon.”

 “How long,” I asked? I wasn’t crying but I felt the big tears sliding over my cheeks.

 “All the scans we’ve done; I’m surprised we’re even talking.”

 “What will it be like?” I reluctantly asked?

 “You will chock like drowning and pass out from lack of oxygen and then suffocate.”

 “Well that sucks!” I didn’t know what to say.

 “Mr. Cooper, take as many of these as you need just wait an hour between; unless. Sometimes life is so fucked up and this is one of them. They pump Narcam into junkies and there is nothing I can do for you. That’s just fucked up.”  And I nodded taking the prescription.

 I was pissed. I was mad as hell. There was so much more I could do but, I felt I was letting people down. I’d started something and I sure as hell should have been able to finish it. I knew Niki would be pissed. She doesn’t like surprises’.  

 I stayed with Parker at his house on Lake Washington and put the final stamp on everything. I bought a house boat close to the UW. I blew huge balloons around us in the hospital for sick kids getting better. And we all sang ‘Puff the Magic Dragon.’ 

 Parker was my attorney not Niki’s, yet. He told Niki he had no idea where I was. Parker had never taken a dime from me. I would have gone back to LA for the AMA’s ether way, but it was going to be a hard thing.

 My return was not well received by Niki. She hit me twice and kneed me in the nuts before she crumbled. I tried to fire her because I didn’t want her to watch me wither, couldn’t look into her eyes. I shopped for clothes all the time with Niki saying yes or no. I had shopped with out her so my clothes looked like they still fit.

 I was refitted for my tux and started snorting coke to get the kick Red Bull didn’t provide along with popping Morphine like pezz. It was the equivalent to a speed ball. I hope Niki didn’t know. But I was on my feet and thinking straight. I was the opening act; yesterday during rehearsal I could stand but tonight it was a struggle singing on a stool because I wasn’t sure I had the strength to stand.

 The awards were to me and who ever I was singing with but, this isn’t what it was about. I did what I did because I wanted too. Yes, I wanted to raise money for the Project but it was music that told a story. Whether it was songs of pain and loose, love and triumph, or surviving and moving on; every song had a message.

 I came out to accept the Award for ‘Best New Male Vocal.’ Walking slow has a dramatic effect but I felt like I needed a walker. Time was moving fast. I saw how this was going to go and it pissed me off because I didn’t do this for the accolades of the business. All the songs told stories and the money raised went to the Project.

 At the end I was pushed to the car in a wheelchair and was met by one when we got back to the room. This was my end and Niki thought maybe with a little time I might rally. It didn’t happen. I’d lost forty pounds in three months, it was hard to breath, and I got winded easy. The pain was more than the doctor told me.

 Niki was in for the long haul and I knew that. I let her talk to my Doctor because I couldn’t tell her what I knew and she’d accept it from a stranger better than me.

 I lay on her naked body and she slowly ran her finger nails up and down my back. “The Doctor said that if you’d of come in before, that maybe.” And the palms of her hand rubbed back and forth over what she’d scratched.

 “Maybe, what, Niki?” And I didn’t look at her. “I hope you will never have to ask yourself ‘what am I going to do’.” And I molded more into her.

 “I would probably be dead already from radiation sickness or the drugs.” And I must have fallen asleep.

 Jeff’s POV:

 It had been well over a year of therapy for both of us. He still had night terrors, would scream out in his sleep, and some times it was hard to wake him. Donny couldn’t do to me what I wanted because of what he felt when it was violently done to him. I couldn’t do to him what I wanted because everything was different for Donny.

 Other than the one blowjob Donny and I only jacked each other off. We did sleep in the same bed and we showered together. We were boyfriends in every sense but no other lines were crossed. Donny felt like he was a dirty soul that didn’t deserve pleasure from the acts done to him. He’d let me jack him but refused the blowjobs I wanted to give.

 We did find ourselves in scorching make-out sessions. Donny had forty pounds on me and sometimes he’d show it. He would reach a point of personal struggle and pull off; ashamed. He’d walk away and I was supposed to let him.   

 I wondered why I was here. I remember meeting Dean in Tennessee ten days after the day that changed all our lives. ‘Thank you, Jeff.’ I remembered the day Niki said, “You didn’t think I’d leave you behind, did you?” 

 Donny and I are both nineteen now but there is nothing normal about us. First: after a year of Parker up-doing insurance companies all the polices paid off for Donny. He was mega-fuckin rich. His Dad had insured all of them at birth. His dad never thought Donny; the one at the bottom of the latter would ever see anything. That haunted Donny.

 Niki was my rock when this happened. I couldn’t hold things in like Donny; I needed to be comforted when I cried unlike Donny, who would do it alone. “It’s ok, Jeff.”

 Deans’ death hit both of us hard. We lived next door but we didn’t see each other like we thought we would. Dean was always recording. Back then Donny was still three days a week and I was two. Dean came one day a week. The thing was Dean and Donny knew something I didn’t; those boys.

 Unbeknownst to me Donny had told the police about the basement and the barn. Dean had no real conformation other than the conversation with our Principal, Bill Long, and the Chief, Mike Gear. When Donny was getting stitched up at my Uncles office the Fossness house and barn burned to the ground.

 The thing was Donny knew for sure about those boys and had a good idea where they were today. His Father and two brothers had killed a dozen of his friends and wounded countless others. Donny was stuck between that. He didn’t want people to hate him because even though he had nothing to do with it he was the last Fossness standing.

 Our last session together didn’t end well and Dean disappeared the next day. Dean challenged Donny and I thought they would come to blows. Dean was different. He wanted the boys found for what ever reason and he didn’t let up on Donny. Donny was bigger than both of us and could have taken us at the same time.  

 Donny confessed to everything. He figured that the bodies were buried on the homestead surrounded by Fossness land. He was right. There was still a cover-up. Nothing was ever seen on the news and the boys were found miles and days apart; funny how that happens.

 It was hard for us now because we thought bad about Dean after and never had the chance to set it right. I grew up in Rugby and thought it was Mayberry. It might as well have been. I was so… wrong and I was in the middle of it. Now over a year later I was looking at Dean again and a lot of shit rolled down on Donny.

Niki’s POV:

 Cooper had just turned one and I lived on the houseboat with Jeff and Donny. Dean had bought it as an incentive for me to go back to school and I couldn’t leave the Farmboys behind. I never went back home to see my mom and dad because I had Jeff and Donny. They were there for the birth and little Dean saw their faces first.

 I have talked to woman and never suffered a single effect they talked about. As much as I don’t want to say it his birth was like the best orgasm I’d ever had. I didn’t have drugs and he came out fast. There was no need for a slap and he cried once and looked at me. I so whished Dean could have been here.

 After his service I still made every decision even though Parker was Executor of his estate. That was how Dean wanted it. ‘The Dean Cooper Foundation’ was to be a boots on the ground in four hours of any school or mass shooting. I hand picked people and set up offices in states that met Dean’s goal.

 When we weren’t responding to shootings we produced interactive assembly’s for the youngest. Demonstration groups showed what bullying was, what it looked like, how it hurt people, and it needed to stop. You aren’t a bully when you come out of your momma. It is learned behavior and Dean’s goal was to provide a curve as early as possible.

 He had recorded videos of his late self and asked all of them to pledge to never be a bully. He had raised a billion dollars for the Trevor Project and I was expected to pull off his wet dream with a tenth of that. But the money never stopped pouring in.  

 Lil Cooper was born on April 8th. Donny, Jeff and I, started at the UW in the fall. He was always with one of us and I wondered why this all came about as it did. Dean would have been a great Dad and Donny along with Jeff filled that void whether they realized it or not. And he had a lineage of God Mother’s and Father’s six deep.

 I told Dean’s parents as soon as I knew for sure and they embraced having a grandchild as much as they did me. I spent most of my pregnancy setting up the Foundation and checking credentials. Most I offered to pay but it was refused.

 We had Doctors, Physiologists, Psychiatrists’, Professors, and even victims who had been through the same thing years before willing to help. They all had a to-go bag and never once when a call went out did someone refuse. We didn’t wait to be asked, we just showed up.

 Dean was up for more awards at the AMA’s and I was there with his Mom and Dad to accept on his behalf. A ten minute tribute was dedicated to Dean; A Life Time Achievement Award. One year and they awarded him that.

 I had worked with his parents and tried to prepare them but the whole show was so emotional. I had slipped his mom a pill for her nerves but I should have given her two. There had been a dry run the day before like always but it was just movements not the content of the show and I took them to Dinner.

 “Look everybody; the white girl came to have dinner with us.” And I reached out my arms to give Pops’ a hug.

 “Who’s these folks, Miss Niki?” He asked in my ear.

 “They’re Dean’s parents.” And I couldn’t hold back my tears and he kissed me ear.

 “Don’t you worry bout a thing,” as he released me and opened his arms to them.

 I heard him say as he wrapped an arm around each of them, “We loved your boy.”

 He turned and said, “This is the kids’ parents, Mr. n Miss Cooper; Dean’s, momma and papa.

 Every head turned. We sat down and the first question was asked. “Fox news said he kilt himself. I don’t watch that show no more!”

 “He done lots a good things. I’dve been proud to call him onef my-own.” An anomies voice said.

 I all of the sudden felt like this wasn’t a good idea then I saw their smiles.

 “Niki?” mom started as she looked around. “They knew Dean?” And I nodded.

 “Like Pops said, Dean was family and you are too, now.” I couldn’t hold the tears back.

 When we finished eating people came up one by one and two by two giving their heartfelt condolences. It had been a year but his parents thanked each and every one of them.  

 They were taken back stage so they could walk out when introduced to accept the first award after the tribute. His Mom was in a beautiful floor length dress and His Dad was in a tux.

 Ladies and gentlemen, Pink. And she walked out. “You know I loved that little… Best album by a male artist; Dean Cooper for Resurrection.” And everything after that couldn’t be heard over the applause. “The award goes to Dean Cooper.”

 A voice came from everywhere and said, “Accepting for Dean are his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Cooper.” And they walked out. Mom definitely needed two pills.

 Pink stepped between both of them and did that thing when she’d wrap her wings around you then walked off. They stood looking at the audience and cameras with the North Dakota fish face. I got her attention doing two fingers to her eyes and then mine. She smiled and nodded totally understanding me.

 “When Dean came home to do the healing concert after the shooting,” she started. “I look around and see familiar faces. He called you his friends. I asked him after the show; ‘Who are you and what have you done with my little boy.” And she wiped some tears.

 “I guess what Dean did with the last year of his life created a legacy, made a difference, maybe saved lives. I missed him that last year. You all saw him more than we did,” she said holding his Dad’s arm.

 “Many of you have been so kind staying in touch with us and sharing your experiences with our son. Dean found out about the cancer a day before his eighteenth birthday and didn’t tell any of us. The Doctor’s told him three months and he stretched it too almost five so he could finished what he did. I guess that’s why we’re standing before you now.” And Cooper chants started.

From your Author:

 I hope my author comments at the start of this chapter weren’t a turn off but. I want to be responsible person and writer; if that means speaking my mind, well so be it. 

 I am still trying to get this story up to speed and it may seem like things are jumping around; that’s because it is. I needed to share Dean’s last time on this earth and what went on with Niki, Donny, and Jeff. 

 Most of the next chapter is done and I will introduce a much younger version of myself and my soul mate. We are The Chancellor’s, Ryan and Robby. Rick’s brother Max will show himself as well. As always comments are welcome and know the last seventeen chapters are on ‘The best list.’ Thank you. RJC