The Start

Robby’s POV:

I passed Dean off and went upstairs for my ‘go bag.’ I sauntered to the ticket desk with my carry-on and said, “My name is, Robert John Chancellor,” setting my Passport on the counter and was handed my first-class ticket.

Ryan didn’t answer his phone and Niki’s went to voice mail. I saw all kinds of stuff on Twitter. I walked into the familiar lobby and up to the desk. The young man addressed me by name, ‘Mr. Chancellor’ Then handed me a key.

I slipped the card in and opened the door as Niki came up behind me, “We need to talk him down. I think he’s fuckin lost it.” She said in a strange tone pushing me into the room.

I dropped my bag walking up behind Ryan who didn’t turn around as he looked out at Central Park. I gave Niki the down low hand as both of mine rested around him and his found mine resting on his stomach. He leaned back into me and I felt his weight.

“Rye? What do you want? I’m here now.” And I felt him take a deep breath.

“I need to be me, Jr. I need to be Ryan Chancellor. This lie has gone on far too long; it’s eating me up. I’m going to tell the world the truth in the morning.” And I felt another deep breath.

“I will take as much blame as I can, Niki.” He said not even knowing if she was in the room.

“Ryan. We can give all the money back. Tell them that.” She announced herself.

I felt another deep breath and he trembled. “It would hurt my heart Niki if people wanted to take money away from education and advocates because I lied. I will tell everyone that you work for me and I made you go along with my charade.” And I felt him take another deep breath and his chest trembled.

“I will not let you be the fall guy; I own my shit, Ryan.”

“Do you remember what you told me about representing The Foundation? You are ‘The Foundation’ whether you like it or not. This is on me and I will deal with whatever fall-out comes. We’re done here, Niki.” He announced in that tone he has. Rye had never turned around to look at her.

I felt her pull my arm and then she spun Ryan around to look him in the eye. “First, I don’t work for you.” She growled not six inches from his face.

“Second, fuck-face; you have NO idea the colossal shit that will rain down on you.” I saw her hand slide down her leg. She better not try and cut my man.

“Haven’t you learned a thing, dumb ass?” And I could tell she was ready to cry.

“People love to build a person; look at what they’ve done to you. They have like pushed you up higher than the skies and heaven.” And she rested the other hand on his chest shaking her head.

“But what would really float their fuckin boat; is tearing you down. You are nothing special. Don’t forget that.” And I wondered if she wasn’t going for her blade thinking she had just shredded him with her words.

“Third, and foremost; I will not be dismissed by you.” And he caught her hand-rearing back to slap him.

His look as he held her arm was numb. I stepped between them and put my hand on his wrist causing him to release Niki’s.

“We’re done, Niki. I’m doing Seacrest in the morning. You need to go home.” I gave Niki my best eyes and she turned and walked out slamming the door.

“Ryan; you’ve never done anything like that before. You do know when everybody finds out you are that guy; the guy in the background will become the focus?” And I rested my hands on his chest from behind because he’d turned before Niki left.

“I want you; no, I need you there in the morning. We are The Chancellor’s; are we not?”

I don’t like to see Rye cry. I held him from behind feeling his chest and his breathing. It’s something I feel in my own body.

“If this is going to happen the way I think it’s supposed to; we need to be open and honest. I don’t see any other way, Robby.” The strong man I’ve always seen felt weak and sad; childlike, in my arms.

We talked a lot in bed and Rye opened up about New Year’s Day, finally. He was my arrogant horses’ ass and still blamed himself. I tried not to let it show that day; my shock when I met him on the porch of Dr. Phil’s Estate. He was not Jacquelyn Kennedy but he looked like she must have.

It took like three deep breathes and willing the tears not to come when I saw him. His hair was still salt and pepper; parted in the middle and feathered, the suit still gray. I could see the tie hanging from his left pocket then I took inventory of him and looked at Niki.

“It’s Ok, Rye.” I just kept saying that not really understanding or knowing what else to say.

Niki was texting and emailing when they were coming back and I thought I had a good idea of what’d happened; I was wrong. No one had even washed his face. If Ryan would have seen him self; he’d have scrubbed his face raw. I looked at Niki again.

He went on about everything with Phil and how sorry he was for dragging me into this. It was two in the morning and he’d told me the alarm was set for five then he would walk the green mile.

Ryan dressed in street clothes; not a suit like all the other times. Ryan and Niki did talk shows but he would fly off to appear at concerts and venues. Artists would donate as much as five dollars a ticket if he’d show. With offers like that coming in; three hundred thousand to almost a half-million dollars a pop; Ryan was a fundraising juggernaut.

I was in the audience watching the opening; I had been there for an hour and a half. Ryan walked out when Seacrest introduced him and normally my Ryan would be better dressed. There was a bro-hug and a cheek kiss for Kelly then everyone sat down; including the audience.

“RJ, you surprised me yesterday and wanted to appear on the show this morning to make an announcement. RJ, how are you?” Seacrest asked setting the stage.

“You’re not in one of your ‘keep sexy alive’ famous suits. Is this a new side of you?” Kelly asked all cocky.

The camera picked up on Rye’s face; I saw fear, then, then I saw him calm. He looked out into the audience and announced; I’m, Ryan James Chancellor.

“I need to apologize to everyone for not being honest to all the people watching when I appeared on your show, New Years Day. I am sorry. I lied because of everything that happened the night before and my stupidity the next morning answering the door with no clothes on.” And the studio was silent. Pin drop silent!

“I know I look like Dean Cooper, I can sing, and I’ve raised a butt-load of money for The Dean Cooper Foundation.” And he smiled at that accomplishment he seemed to just realize.

“If the fact that I’m a man, the fact that I’m married to the man in the pictures behind me causes people to want their money back; fine.” And Rye took a deep cleansing breath.

“So RJ, are you saying that guy in the picture was you?” Seacrest asked.

“Yes.” He said not looking at the camera.

“There should be a number running on the bottom of the screen that will work on having their money returned if they want. What I would like to ask is this; did you donate because of me?” And he was using those eyes for the camera.

“Would you want that money back; take it away from what The DC Foundation does? Would my arrogance and stupidity cause you to take back what is yours; just to punish me?” And Rye had never looked away from the camera.

“When we return, Niki will join us,” Kelly said in a bubbly way and only the studio saw Ryan’s reaction. He was pissed.

I noticed the glair when Niki came out and did pleasantries with the hosts. She sat next to Ryan reaching for his hand. Begrudgingly he gave it to her.

“Niki, you look wonderful. How is Sir Dean?” Kelly asked.

“I don’t think we’re here to talk about my son. We need to talk about the monumental horses’ ass this one is.” And she pulled his hand to her lips.

“I don’t think RJ realizes what he’s done or what it means. Singlehandedly he has raised over six-hundred-million-dollars so we can be first responders to some of the most horrible crimes. Dean Cooper’s mission statement was simple; go when asked, go when needed, and don’t wait to be asked.” And she looked at the camera.

“Niki, what are you saying?” Seacrest questioned.

“He did a stupid thing. You can all see a dick-pic of RJ; that includes your mom, dumb ass. Plug your ears, Nora; it’s a nice dick” And she eyed Rye who bowed his head to her smile

“But since New Years Day we have responded to seventeen incidences, including that one New Years Day in Toronto and two in Texas.”

“Are you talking about that caller, Niki?” Kelly asked.

“I don’t want to talk about that.” Rye sternly said shaking his head back and forth.

“That boy,” she started.

“That boy had a name, Niki.” He almost growled at her.

“That young man was hurt and troubled.” I could tell by the way Ryan looked at his hand in hers; she must have squeezed.

“He suffered. If you remember I told him to call our crises line and this man sitting next to me answered the phone; because if you remember, that’s what he wanted.” nodding to Rye. I could feel the tears form; the stinging in my eyes knowing Ryan was ready to lose it.

“Time was of the assents; you know what that’s like. I hired a plane; that costs money. I had a car waiting; that costs money. We tried to save a seven-teen-year old boy. Could you put a price on that? Could anybody put a price on that? Could anyone have saved him?” And she worked those fucking eyes of hers.

“His name;” And I could tell Niki really squeezed his hand with his ‘what the fuck’ look?

Ryan sniffed; he didn’t try and wipe the tears that hadn’t fallen over his cheeks yet. “His name; he could have been any kid you pass in the hall, or your son or daughter passes in the hall. He killed himself in front of me that day; I’ll take that to the grave this time”

Now he had to hold his face in his hands. Seacrest reached over and patted his leg. When he dropped his hands and looked at the camera; he was a different person. It was remarkable.

“The hardest thing for me to grasp,” He said so seriously.

“Is that a kid a few years younger than me thinks death is the only way out or the only way to make the pain stop.” And Ryan worked his eyes as Niki taught him.

“I never thought this out; the honor of singing with friends of Dean Cooper;” And he shook his head back and forth.

“On New Year's Eve, all that money raised for his goal.” And Rye bowed his head again.

He’d been hitting the phone that was in his hand when he just handed it off to Niki. Niki had been ignoring hers that I could see dancing around next to her complimentary cup of coffee. When you sit behind the cameras there is much more than you see on TV. There’s make-up, lighting changes, and for Niki and Ryan, a wipe of cheeks and forehead. And an obviously intense conversation.

The applause light flashed and on the screen behind was Ryan, the naked guy in the picture with me in the background. And Ryan, the guy inked up denying the whole thing; I wanted to just puff into smoke.

“I still say today, he’s a good looking guy; both of them are.” And the first smile came from RJ as the clapping started.

He stood unbuttoning his shirt to show everyone he was that hot naked guy from New Years Day. He paused for the clapping that I started because I knew he’d do it. He made a spectacle of looking down at his cut pecks as he made them dance. He looked at me and I couldn’t help but smile as he rolled his stomach. FYI. I own him, people.

After putting himself back together Kelly asked, “So Niki, I see you holding hands, is that a statement?”

“Did you not hear me?” Rye asked with such arrogance.

“I am married to the guy behind naked me.” And Ryan shook his head in disbelief.

“You need more sleep girl; third row, end seat. Look familiar?” And Niki stood up signaling me to do the same. I stood as Rye stood clapping.

On the screen behind them was a rather flattering close up of my naked body from the waist up that morning. I could see on the screen behind them; me smiling and clapping at my self.

Rye was still standing, “My life’s partner and Husband, Robert Chancellor.” And now all were on their feet.

After everyone had calmed things got back on track. “Niki, what if everyone wants their money back? What then?” Kelly asked.

“We’ll give it back.” She answered defiantly.

“What would that mean for The Foundation?” Seacrest asked.

“We have hundreds of thousands of donors. Tens of thousands are monthly contributors and what I say is every dime counts.” And she looked at the camera.

“Kids, Ryan.” And she struggled. “Kids of all ages collect lunch money in schools and send it to us.” And Niki just let the tears flow as Rye pulled her into a hug.

“If only Dean Cooper could have seen this; seen what he started. I only draw a salary because that’s the way Dean set it up and in spite of the half a billion dollars RJ has raised; he hasn’t taken a penny.” And Niki did the wet eye thing again.

“The deception was wrong and Ryan knows that; it’s been eating him up. He is a painfully honest man that has put himself out there for a good cause; for kids in pain, victims of violence, and education of everybody. I think he deserves a round of applause.”

She dropped his hand and stood clapping. I may have been the second to stand but when I turned around the whole place was on its feet. Even the cameramen were clapping. I could see Rye’s chest heaving. He made eye contact with me in disbelief and he slightly shook his head no knowing I would come up and comfort him.

“If our audience is a sample; I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Niki,” Kelly said after an embarrassingly long time.

I saw him wipe his eyes and Niki took his hand again. “How is the album coming, RJ?” Seacrest asked.

His look was dumbfounded when Niki answered. “What people might not realize is Dean Cooper had a stack of songs that some of the best writers in the world had written for him. One, in particular, was written for this guy here by the last Gibb, standing” Nodding to Rye.

“We’re going through them and working with people to produce the most, true, tribute to Dean Cooper, and those he sang with.” And I saw Rye’s, ‘what the fuck’ look again.

“We have a minute or two before the next break; would you?” Kelly asked looking at RJ.

He still held Niki’s hand when he stood and walked over to center stage dragging Niki next to him. There were no instruments and Rye stepped up to the mic. Ryan did what it seems only he can do. “I sing this for their son when he’s fussy.” The pride he had, the tears thinking about the little guy.

“Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high and the dreams you dream of once in a lullaby.”Niki smiled at Rye as he did his thing for the camera.

“Oh somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly And the dreams you dream really do come true.”Niki echoed him. It was just their voices. It was beautiful.

The viewers didn’t see the whole thing but those in the audience did when the cameras cut away. Ryan let go of her hand and walked to me holding his out. I took it and we walked the last of the green mile together; Chancellor and Chancellor. He hailed a taxi and just said, “The Mayflower.”

I know when to hold this strong man's hand. Ryan is so complicated; even more so now. I hurt for him. It has been hard, but I love him more than life.

The Willows:

We checked out before noon and took the train from New York. Ryan’s phone was on fire and he told me he might have to hire Niki, after all. It’s a lovely three-hour ride in the dome-car watching the scenery go by and I thought about all the other times we returned home. Ryan had called ahead and Tommy met us. He is such a handsome young man.

We didn’t talk much on the hour ride; Ryan was deep in thought. Tommy understood all too well now who owned The Estate his mother protected. The East Coast this time of year can be unpredictable but even though it was cold there wasn’t a lot of snow. I held his hand as we got closer to the only thing we both remembered, Our Willows.

As we slowed for the turn I could feel butterflies in my stomach; it’s the same every time. You can’t see the house from the road; huge columns suspend the rod iron sculpture. It’s amazing, really. ‘The Willows’ was in an arch and the double L’s was the trunk of a willow that had split.

Tommy stopped the car knowing we would want to walk and inspect the guards that protected our home. It’s a long driveway and the Willows create a canopy of perfect whips. To call it a house is an understatement because the looks alone make a statement.

She stands three stories, ‘majestic’ with the attic and its half-moon windows. Her body is white with green trim; stained glass above all the other windows. This was our castle; the place we share with no one; Home. Tommy had taken out our bag setting it on the porch when we walked up seeing his mother waiting.

“Mr. Chancellors’, this is a surprise.” Her arms opened and we each took a side giving her a cheek kiss.

“Welcome home, boys. She’s missed you.” And we walked into the foyer hand in hand.

We both stopped and turned in a circle taking in the smell of our home that was over two hundred years old. Smell is a powerful sense; like sight.

Niki’s POV:

The Thumb Drive.

On Sir Dean’s, birthday I received an envelope by currier. It was from Parker. Dean wanted this delivered on his Childs first birthday. There was no note; no nothing; just a thumb drive. That fucker.

I put it in my computer. I saw him looking at me. He said my name as that Farmboy smile with dimples spread across his face, then tears from a smile, then just tears. I hit pause. I handed Dean off to Smallville and took the computer upstairs.

Dean must have taken a pause also because he was back on the screen with no tears. I still missed him so much. “If you’re watching this Niki, I was right; we made a baby.” And he fought more tears with the biggest smile.

“I hope it looks like you.” He said like Forest fuckin Gump. “I don’t know if someone who was sick like I was, but I pray none of that was passed on.” And I hit pause again.

Over the last year, I had every test known to man run on our little guy. He couldn’t have been healthier.

“I knew Niki. I didn’t realize till after but, I knew. It was what I was trying to do; you got my best. Maybe it was because I was dying or just being eighteen with the hottest City Girl I’ve ever known. You’ll be a great Mom.” His dimpled smile made me start to cry.

I hit pause again and walked downstairs. “I’m going for a walk. No, I don’t need company.” I returned to their faces.

I remembered waffling back and forth whether to tell Dean I was pregnant. Realizing now that he was trying to make a baby with me, when he knew he was dying; just kind of fucked-up everything.

I’d had enough for the night and decided to watch the rest tomorrow. The boys were on the floor playing with my boy. Our little guy was so lucky to have Donny, Jeff, Robby, and Ryan. He just started calling everybody, Daddy. It was kind of funny because when Dean hurt himself he expected three or more people to respond. And it was up to him who was going to kiss his booboo.

From your Author:

I wonder as I write if what I do interests you. I looked back on chapter one and saw over seven thousand people read or clicked on it; it’s humbling, just so you know. I have introduced things my colleges haven’t; first was music. As I think back, RA, did that as well. The caricatures are younger because I write from a much younger time in my life now.

I have challenged readers; maybe more than I should have. If you are checking out this Site and find enjoyment or comfort; leave a comment. It validates what I do, it can open up a line of communication between other readers who comment; or even me. I share the stage with other writers who post and I have read many stories; the inspiration for what I do today. And I acknowledge our host.

Bjorn fills the role of host. I can post what I write and you can read it for free. If you are like me, check out sites; you’ve never had problems with this on; I appreciate that. My goal is not to put pressure on you; or anybody, but come on. RJC.