The Start

by RJC

12 Jul 2019 778 readers Score 9.7 (58 votes) PDF Mobi ePub Txt


The Start Book Two: Chapter 4

From your Author:

I have never been one of those authors to get you off in the first or second chapters. This is the second book and although people from book one reappear a pair from one of my past writing come back to the forefront; Robby and Ryan.

This chapter will bring us closer to the climax that will fill chapter five. Donny and Jeff, Ryan and Robby, and Niki and?


Niki’s POV:

I realized that Parker would never do that to me and Lil Dean so I settled into a party. As always Dean stool the show. I watched Robby and Ryan work the crowd. To me; I could see it now. They worked as a team in concert with a single goal; whatever it was; tonight was ‘enjoy and have a good time.’ To say the group was diverse is an understatement.

Parker was the first and then I recognized Profs and people who were wearing very expensive clothes. Age was something left at the door but it ranged from twenty to sixty. I saw some of our team football players and recognized the biggest as he held Ryan and Robby in a hug; Sugar, the Tank.

Space outside was the focal point with its lights and glass railings, standing and sitting tables, along with patio heaters and food and drink everywhere. People partied, drank and ate, I mingled. Sugar did a drum roll and Ryan sat at the keyboard and the guy who was driving the boat started on the guitar. Parker stepped up next to me.

“That’s my son; we call him PJ but Ryan calls him Park; he and Ryan have been friends all their lives. Ryan plays the piano and guitar, and he sings. He’s really good and so is Rob. I just wanted you to know that.”

I looked at him and then Ryan starting singing; my head snapped as I turned to the sound. His voice bounced off the other boats and drifted across the canal. Ryan was good and so was Robby. ‘Grass Roots’ Live for today.’

Ryan could project even more than Dean. They traded verses and complemented each other with smiles. Ryan played and sang as Robby sat next to him singing. It was like the cars on the bridge set the beat. Sound poured out as Parker came up next to me.

“I told you he was good. You can’t imagine what I thought when I met Dean in person. I could see it right away, even on TV.” He said.

I was holding my little guy when they finished and Ryan stood looking at us. He started walking to me and the little guy held out his arms and said, “Daddy.”

Robby picked up a small guitar and starting plucking on the strings as Ryan turned Dean and set his butt on his arm so he was singing into his ear. Ryan swayed back and forth with his eyes closed. Donny and Jeff came up and an arm from each rested on me as Ryan started singing.

IZ. “Ew Ew, ew ew. Somewhere over the rainbow way up high; and the dreams that you dreamed of once in a lullaby. Oh somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly and the dreams you dream of do really do come true.”

The three of us watched Ryan holding Dean as he moved his body as his dad did. Ryan was putting The Little Guy to sleep and he was fighting it. His chin was bobbing on Ryan’s arm and we could see the struggle in his eyes through the line of spit from his mouth and Ryan’s expensive shirt.

“Someday I wish upon a star, wake up where the clouds are far behind. Where trouble melts like lemon drops high above the chimney top; that’s where you’ll find me.” It was just his voice and he moved like dancing with my little guy.

Dean was out and Ryan knew. He turned him resting his head on his shoulder and smelled his hair. He still moved from side to side kind of swaying. His voice was softer as he ran through the verses again moving around mingling with their guests showing off his little catch and Robby behind plucking. He ended standing in front of the three of us.

I could feel the steam coming off Donny and Jeff as I moved forward to take Dean from him. Ryan’s eyes were wet as he handed him off after a kiss to his cheek and my little guy just molded into me.

“Give him to me,” Donny said. “If we don’t leave, Jeff’s going to hold that asshole’s head under water until the bubbles stop.” And he took Dean from me. “You stay.” They both said.

It was maybe half an hour later and Donny was back. He walked up next to me as Ryan and Robby started. “I’ll be your dream; I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasy.” Donny pulled me to him and started to dance.

“I’ll be your hope; I’ll be your love be everything that you need.”I was like a rag doll in Donny’s arms as Robby and Ryan traded verses.

“I love you more with every breath, truly, madly deeply do.” And Donny moved with me in his arms.

“I will be strong, I will be faithful 'cause I’m counting on a new beginning, a reason for living, a deeper meaning in the air.”

His strength was pulling me closer as we slow danced. “Donny?” I asked. And his hold let up a little.

“I’m sorry, Niki. I love to dance; get lost in the music and just move. I’ve never danced with anyone before. I’d dance in my room wishing I could move with my arms around someone and hold them like you’re holding me now. I’m sorry.”

“I want to stand with you on a mountain. I want to bath with you in the sea. I want to lay with you forever until the sky falls down on me.”

My arms were falling asleep wrapped around Donny’s thick neck. We weren’t really moving anymore and just swayed back and forth. He was so… big and strong. I did comfort Donny when Jeff couldn’t and I never understood why he shut him out when it was Jeff who held the key.

Donny must have known and he turned me so my back was to his front. If he only knew this was how Dean and I moved the one and only time we ever danced.

“And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky, I’ll make a wish and send to heaven then make you want to cry the tears of joy and all the pleasure and the certainty, that were surrounded by the comfort and protection of the highest power, in lonely hours, the tears devour you.”

I was watching Ryan and Robby now along with everyone else. Some were talking as they watched, some just watched and listened. I realized that the only people dancing were Donny and me and a lot of eyes were on us.

In a setting like this applause wasn’t expected but there was after something like that. When Donny realized that some were turned to us and clapping he turned the cutest shade of sunburn.

“Thank you, Niki. You know I love you, right?”

“I know, Smallville. You need to tell Jeff that.” He nodded in my neck, kissed my cheek, and left.

I did stay until most had left and Robby gave me a tour of their new home. The place was over the top and it was obvious no expense was spared. Now I don’t know a lot about antiques but some pieces were really old. Robby confirmed that yes, they were very old.

“Ryan had some stuff shipped in from Virginia. We have a place in Fredericksburg; it’s his family’s estate. Ryan is the last survivor. It’s called, ‘The Willows’ I know, a house with a name.” I just smiled and nodded as we stepped into the master bath.

Their room was overly large taking up the whole end of the second story. The shower was huge and one wall of glass looked out over the water and I turned to him. “It’s one-way glass.” He told me as I wondered if they were exhibitionists.

He sat me down on a couch in the corner of their room that was set up as kind of lounging space. “He hates being compared to Dean. I saw it the first time we saw him on TV. It’s not a comparison I ever made again. ‘I don’t look like him,’ he’d say. ‘He looks like me.’”

I nodded and rose and so did Robby. I reached out and gave him one of my special hugs and we walked downstairs. We stood on the deck looking as Ryan again sitting at the keyboard. Everyone had left. He started to play and sing.

“Look at this face; I know the years are showing. Look at this life; I still don’t know where it’s going. I don’t know much but I know I love you, and that may be all there is to know.”

Ryan was looking at Robby and he said, “If you’ll excuse me, Niki.” And he walked towards Ryan singing the next verse.

“Look at these eyes; they’ve never seen what matters. Look at these dreams: so beaten and so battered. I don’t know much but I know I love you and that may be all there is to know.” 

I watched them and saw it again. Two halves made a whole. There were no speakers and Ryan was still loud; he could project and I had to listen to hear Robby.

“So many questions still left unanswered. So much I’ve never broken through.”Robby had that voice Aaron had.

And when I feel you near me, sometimes I see clearly. The only truth I’ve ever known is me and you.”I thought I should walk away and give them their moment then Ryan looked at me.

“Look at this man, so blessed with inspiration. Look at this soul, still searching for salvation. I don’t know much, but I know I love you. And that may be all I need to know.” I almost felt embarrassed witnessing what they did and I thought how envois Dean would have been of Ryan.

Ryan came over thanking me for coming and he got one of my hugs as well. It was late when I walked in and saw Jeff asleep on the lounge chair and my little guy asleep on his chest. I snapped a picture and Jeff woke up and smiled at me then tightened his hold on Dean, making a ‘be quite’ motion, and closing his eyes again. That was how Jeff wanted to sleep tonight and I was ok with that. I looked in on Donny and couldn’t find him. He must have gone for a walk at three in the morning.

I don’t do this very often but I did tonight. I think it was more to do with Ryan, and maybe a little Donny, but I pulled the small box from under my bed that held Dean’s secret toys. I reached for the biggest then held it up as I rested on my knees and elbows looking down on it.

It was soft and hard at the same time. I leaned down licking and kissing like it was real; like it was Dean. After I was sure it was wet enough I rolled to my back and slowly pushed it between my legs and didn’t stop until the balls of the toy rested below my swollen lips.

I got up holding it in place and put on a pair of tight underwear then crawled back into bed. I didn’t masturbate with it like I sometimes did; instead, I lay back feeling the fullness. The last time with Dean was like this. I fell asleep on his chest with the hardness that was his body inside me.

That was over a year and a half ago; our last time. I hadn’t been with anybody since. I’m sure guys do the same thing; sleep with the fullness inside. Every move; even the smallest would send sparks through my body and in the morning I would have to change the sheets.

I came down in the morning to the Farmboys arguing about breakfast and Dean at the counter wanting them to make up their minds and just give him something. This was normal. So here we were. Dean was naked with no diaper. Jeff was in lime green trunks you could see through, and Donny sprouting black boxer briefs. I was in the same button-down shirt and a clean pair of panties.

I watched from the corner as they argued over sausage and bacon. Should the eggs be scrambled or fried; or whether waffles or French toast should be served. Or maybe pancakes. I couldn’t take it anymore and squeezed between them for coffee and gave Dean a yogurt and spoon.

I thought about last night as I looked out on my neighbors’ deck and the patio heaters that were scattered around. It was warm. I need a few of those. And then I thought about my neighbors last night. I think I saw more than intended; Ryan and Robby.

As I sipped my coffee watching the fog lift I thought about them and how I wound up here. Jeff and Donny were still babbling on about breakfast, Dean was not using his spoon and just hand feeding himself yogurt, and I was thinking about the two guys next door.

I looked over and saw Ryan with a cup of something and he did cheers to me with his cup. We were seperated by a six-foot wide dock between us and we walked closer.

“I suppose Parker told you?” He asked and I nodded.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you.”

“You were RJC on his phone?” I looked at him and he nodded.

“We need to talk, Niki; just you and me. Dean and I spent some time together and talked up to the end. He changed me. He gave me focus.”

I nodded and went back into the house. It was to be a breakfast buffet. Sausage and bacon, eggs fried and the ones Donny broke were scrambled; along with pancakes and French toast. Dean was yogurt from head to toe. My three Farmboys.

They turned not seeing me and looked at Dean. “You were supposed to be watching him, Donny.”

“I was doing the eggs, bacon, and sausage. What? You were just doing the French toast and Pancakes. You should have been watching him.”

They each grabbed a washcloth and were in Dean’s face washing the yogurt away. His little grubby hands came up and he got them both and said, “Daddy.”

Jeff was the first. “Finally he calls me Daddy.”

“He called me Daddy, white boy,” Donny replied.

“You know damn good and well how much I hate that name, CLARK…” Jeff spit back at him.

It was kind of funny because they had forgotten about Dean, who was still a mess and were arguing about who he called Daddy. Enter the smoke alarm. The bacon and sausage were about to ignite from lack of attention and Dean started to beat his hands on the counter as Donny pulled the pans and Jeff grabbed the broom to fan the smoke detector. I slipped back out to the deck.

“Must be hard being a mother of three? You’re not really on fire are you?” Ryan asked still standing where I left him.

“No; we’re not on fire. Donny and Jeff have been relentless with Dean. They wanted to be called Daddy first, but it was Lemon, and then you. He just called them both Daddy and they’re arguing about who he called Daddy. I better get back in there.”

I walked in and the screeching alarm had been silenced. Jeff was pushing his way past Donny to get to my yogurt covered offspring. He picked him up and said, “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.” Dean leaned in and sucked his nose.

Donny was trying to take him from Jeff, saying, “I’m Daddy. Give him to me, Jeff. Can’t you see he wants me?”

“Back the fuck off, Donny.” OK, Time for mom to step in.

“There are my boys.”

“He called me Daddy, Niki.” They said at the same time.

I walked over and took Dean from Jeff. “I am not cleaning this up.” And I glared at them. The kitchen was a fuckin disaster.

“We’re gonna shower and go to the Market. If you get this cleaned up you can come.” And Dean and I went upstairs.

“Come on Niki, you guys are taking too long.” I heard Donny say.

I’d gotten out and only had one towel so I dried Dean and wrapped the wet towel around all I could cover and opened the door. Donny stood naked in front of me. Now I had caught glimpses and seen him in sheer shit like Dean used to wear but.

He didn’t flinch as I did a quick inventory. Yeah, he had it all. His hair was messed up but his green eyes were big and bright. He had a treasure trail that started in the middle of his chest and a ring of black hair around each nipple.

Followed the hair admiring the huge pecks and the six-pack he was so proud of I got to the good stuff. It appeared he trimmed and best I could tell he was a shower and a grower. I had caught him hard in the morning crowding into pee.

I set Dean down and he walked up to Donny. Donny dropped down and sat cross-legged and the little guy sat down the same way.

Jeff walked in still wearing his lime briefs and his look of surprise was kind of sad. He looked at me and then the two on the floor. For whatever reason, Jeff suddenly felt like an outsider.

Donny saw. “Niki? You and the little guy should go get dressed.” And he looked at Jeff.

Jeff declined The Market and wasn’t home when we got back. People would have never known to watch Donny with Dean on his shoulders and to hold my hand.

“Look, Donny. Jeff won’t put up with your shit forever, you know.” I told him waiting for the Walk sign.

“Jeff’s fine.” He said and started to walk.

“And I suppose you think you’re fine too?” I asked.

He glared at me. “What have you done for him, Donny? What have you given up for him? Seems like a lopsided relationship to me. He’s taken care of you for the last year and a half and never left your side. He walked away from his parents, his school, and all his friends. And he has done all of that for you and you can’t say ‘I love you’. You’re a pussy.”

He took Dean off his shoulders and handed him over then walked away. I’d had it with him. He knew he loved Jeff and he knew I knew it. I suppose Jeff could have said it to Donny but Jeff was showing his love with everything he’d done. I wish I’d have brought the stroller.

We got home to an empty house and I laid a sleeping Dean on the floor. I assumed the boys had talked and were off celebrating. I poured a glass of wine and stepped out on the deck to feed the ducks. The deck was about three feet above so even Donny could sit dangling his feet and they didn’t reach the water.

I went to bed around ten and had texted both of the boys but, nothing. I got up in the morning and peeked into their room and saw Donny sprawled out on the bed alone. I checked the guest room then went downstairs. No, Jeff.

My cup had just filled with coffee when Donny came down the stairs calling for Jeff. “He’s not here, Donny.”

“Where is he, Niki?”

“I don’t know, Smallville.”

“Niki? What if he’s hurt or something? We need to call somebody.”

Jeff walked in and said, “You guys have class. I’m taking a shower and I’ll be down in ten.” And he ran up the stairs.

“See Niki. He’s fine.”

I need to start carrying my blade in my slippers. “Did you ride the short bus to school your whole life? If he doesn’t have his bags when he comes down I’ll kiss your ass. And why aren’t you going after him?”

“He’s fine Niki.”

I was ready to blow and had finished my coffee when Jeff came down empty-handed. And poor me is going to have to kiss Donny’s ass.

“You guys need to shower and get ready for class,” as he took Dean from me. “Donny, my notes are in my backpack.” And he took Dean to the fridge.

Donny held his hands up and mouthed, “See.”

There is a saying, ‘Dumber than dirt.’ Donny was smarter than me but, he was dumber than dirt and had just proven it yet again. We went to class. Donny had two classes from ten to one and I had a class from ten to noon. Jeff had a class at one and we’d pass Dean off. Jeff didn’t hear me come in.

I had to walk into the living room before I saw him sitting on the floor leaning back against the couch with The Little Guy leaning back on him. Jeff was kind of rocking back and forth and I could tell he was trying to put Dean to sleep. I realized he had headphones on and he started to sing.

I couldn’t hear the music and Jeff couldn’t sing but what came out of him was beautiful. It reminded me of Dean when we were at Barry’s but Dean was in pain because of what he’d done to his throat and voice. Jeff’s pain came from the heart.

“Say something, I’m giving up on you. I’ll be the one if you want me too.” And he kissed our little guy.

“I’m gonna miss you most of all, Scarecrow.” He said in Dean’s ear.

“Anywhere, I would have followed you. Say something, I’m giving up on you.” And I could tell he was crying. Hell; I had started to cry.

“And I; I’m feeling so small. It was over my head; I know nothing at all. And I; will stumble and fall. I’m still learning to love; just starting to crawl. Say something, I’m giving up on you!” I.”And I back stepped until I was outside the front door.

The thought of losing either of them made my heart hurt. And then I thought of Lil Dean; it would traumatize him. We were a family and I’d be damned if Donny, through his ignorance and denial, would break us up.

I knew the song was long over as I walked back in and slammed the door. Jeff’s hand came up shooing me and I walked over to see him with the headphones around his neck and Dean sound asleep on his chest. I told him to just roll him on the floor and go get ready for class. I wanted to ask him where he was last night but.

He came down with that perfect part in the middle of his white head. They say that only one in a million people have true violet eyes. I walked over and rested my hands on his hips.

“You know I love you like the brother I never had, right?” And I smiled up at him.

“You know I love you like the sister I’m glad I never had.” And he pulled me to him.

I kissed him behind the ear and told him, “I do love you, Jeffery.”

“And I love you, Nicole.” He said sticking his tongue in my ear making both of us bust up.

“Go to class you, clown.”

I couldn’t wait for Donny to get home. He walked in and I met him with a hard slap across the face. “Fuck! That hurt Niki.”

“Jeff is not fine, you fuckin moron. He’s gonna leave and it’s your fault.”

“I haven’t done anything, Niki. He’s fine.” He didn’t see my left hand. Crack across his other cheek.

“Really? You gonna hit a girl, Smallville?” I had seen that look before and I knew what card to play.

“I still owe you a peck on the ass cheek but his bag is packed. Go upstairs and look for your self.” I told him.

I heard him calling from the top of the stairs and I followed his voice into their room. Donny had a smile on his face waving his hand over all the clothes he bought Jeff. “I think I deserve more than an ass kissing, Niki.”

I gave him the ‘come here lover boy’ finger. I led him down to the guest room and showed him the one bag on the floor. I could only assume it was stuffed with clothes Jeff had bought himself. Donny lavished on Jeff. There were rows of shirts and pants. And every shoe you could think of.

Donny was very, very rich. Jeff could have cared less. He didn’t want the bags of shit Donny brought home almost daily. Jeff was there when Donny had nothing but pain. He stood by him during therapy and when Dean was supporting them.

“All you have to do is tell him how you feel. How he makes you feel.” And Donny slid down the wall.

“You think you’re so… fucking smart.” He said. And I moved slowly back towards the door.

“My Dad and brothers; for years. You know damn good and well how much I love him.

I was now at the door because I had never seen Donny like this. I was scared.

“I know, Donny. Have you ever told him?” I asked ready to run down the hall.

Donny started to cry. First, it was just big tears pouring from his green eyes and over his cheeks then dripping from his chin. I moved back into the room and stood in front of him. Now came the gut-wrenching sobs. This strong man was crying in grief over losing someone.

I sat down next to him pulling the big lug over to cry on me. I thought about how fucked up he must be. I knew some of the stuff but I didn’t know even half of it. Yes, his Dad and Brothers had killed and wounded many changing Donny’s life forever.

But the things they had done to him; I can’t even imagine. There was a number I was going to call and we would all go. Donny finally calmed and I told him if he waited it would be too late.


From your Author:

I hope you don’t feel cheated and think the last five thousand words have been a waste of your time. I think it’s important to remember what Donny went through; trauma on so… many levels. Jeff had also. He found Donny after a ‘thankfully unsuccessful’ suicide attempt and had been by Donny’s side since.

Niki is a year into Dean’s wet dream of his foundation and statistics were showing a reduction in bullying at schools that got the assemblies. All of these things were the driving force in the last book and will carry over to Book Two. And let us not forget the music; the story you read with a soundtrack. RJC. 

by RJC

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