The Start

                     The Start: Ch.5

                     Unrecognizable

      So, No one comments, a few rated and a couple email me. As of now, over three thousand have read and, nothing. I know I shouldn’t be butthurt but, come on.

      I told you there was a bait and switch and I am sorry for that. A reader who became a friend shared a painful truth with me and I am trying to deal; I’ve never been put in this position before.

      A lot of what you read is from just Dean, but much is from a victim or victims. It, or the things, turned Dean into a different person; a victim, in his own way. That’s how it is, D.  

      “Mr. Cooper, hold on while I set up a conference call,” Winston scrambled.

      “Parker, are you there? Dean, Can you hear me?” We all agreed we could hear each other.

      A lot of shit had happened. There would be a Dean, Album; or CD and videos.  Winston and Parker had talked to the main people and it seemed I would do a fifteen track CD. A think tank for Sony had come up with an idea for me to sing old songs with dead stars; like Natalie Cole and her dad.

      I listened as both Winston and Parker explained how this could raise untold dollars for the Project and they were wrapping up negations on a contract for me. They said it would be a record breaker. Winston said Sony would email me the list.

      The next seven days were spent locked in my room going through dozens of artists and hundreds of songs. I had narrowed it down to twelve artists and the songs I hoped I could do justice too. But when I wasn’t doing that my mind wandered.

      I wondered how the last few months had changed me, wondered what songs I would have picked last summer had life not happened, and I thought about Rick. We talked each morning and night; he would tell me how counseling was going and I’d play down what I was doing.

      I never got advice from Dr. Phil and after another awful night sleep, I called him. The dreams had gotten so bad; terrible fights with Rick, watching him cut himself and nothing I could do. I agreed we would do phone secessions and we’d start after New Years. And I felt better when I sat in my room on the 29th.

      Just so you have a little background on ND parents and grandparents. They’re stupid as fuck when it comes to kids and pills. You could get anything at school and I called a buddy, rumor has it that he gets the best sleeping pills from his grandma’s medicine chest.

      See; I guess farmers are tuff, but their doctors pass out prescriptions like pezz; Oxeye, Fen tonal, Halcyon, blue pills up the ass, you name it and refills for months. What’s the old saying? If ones good two’s better. FYI, me and Halcyon, don’t play well together. What I didn’t know was if you don’t go to bed when you take them and you don’t fall asleep; enter, crazy zombie. Not the good kind.

      I didn’t remember a thing. I woke up in the hospital strapped down with people standing around me; their backs turned. I evidently had created a seen at home, in the ambulance, and here at the hospital. I don’t know if my break was brought on by the pills or if they just took away my ability to hold it in.

      I have PTSD it seems. Seeing Rick bleeding, not helping Long save him as I should have, and fainting like a little girl, manifested into a deep guilt I refused to give time. I was released to go home when I started to act human again and I called Phil. 

      I went to school after the winter break and not one word about me and my little episode. The video was lighting up and deep down I knew it wasn’t sitting well with Rick. Rick and I had fallen back into high-fives and ass slaps in school and we enjoyed not being called to Long's office. But that was it.

      And then there was Jeff. I lied when I said I didn’t remember anything; I saw Rick’s face as he bled and then it turned into Jeff’s face. I think that’s what had pushed me over the edge. I would watch him as he watched me from the corner of his eye. Jeff.

      Was it me that pushed Rick? Doc said it was the pictures but, was it me too? Would I do the same thing to Jeff by rejecting him? He seemed fine but the way he looked at me. I just didn’t know and tried not to think about it.

      I had been emailing back and forth with a Sony person, named Niki. She was my contact and liaison to the ultimate ones who would have the final say. On the twentieth, I got the green light along with an e-contract that I forwarded to Parker. Twenty-million dollars.     

      Karen Carpenter and Robin, Maurice, & Andy Gibb, there was so much music between them I couldn’t make a choice. 

      I practiced the songs over and over again. I wanted to be good, wanted people to buy the tracks or album. It was three weeks later when I got the OK on my selection. All the legals with estates were hammered out and Dean was cleared for takeoff. But to where?  

      I called John and told him about everything and I didn’t think I had the voice to do what was expected of me and he laughed. 

      “You got this Kid. Look! I will send a guy to help you with your voice and teach you some swag.” There was a long pause. “Where in the hell is Minot North Dakota, anyway?” He asked.  

      On the twenty-ninth of January, I got a call. “Dean? This is Winston. Can you drive to your school?” He asked and I nodded to the phone. “Sony has a trailer set up. That will be your studio. I negotiated that there would be no unnecessary stress put on you like having to go to California for a month.”

      I’m looking at the phone in my hand.

“WHAT? I don’t get this.” I admitted.

      “You need a sound room with all the shit that goes with it. John and a few others have sent people to help you and that requires privacy, follow me? Now can you drive to your school or not? The rig is behind the gym.” He finished.

      “Give me fifteen minutes,” I told him and the call ended.

      I pulled into the parking lot and drove behind the gym; son of a bitch. Attached to the ass of the biggest semi I had ever seen was a trailer, not just a trailer; it matched the truck. It was huge with slid-outs on both sides. I parked and knocked on the door.

      A voice asked if I was Dean and I nodded then said yes and the door opened. A girl who didn’t look a lot older than me waved me in and introduced the rest of the crew consisting of a sound man, an IT tech, a master at everything, and three vocal coaches. And the girl who would facilitate what I wanted.   

      This trailer was the shit! I’m talking ‘lifestyles of the rich and famous’ shit. Niki introduced herself last; kind of dramatically and said we need to talk as I saw headlights on the big screen next to my loaner. Two taxis.

      The rest of the people left and it was Niki and I sitting on the lounger and she had a tablet in her hand. “Ok. Tell me what you want.”

      I didn’t get it and shrugged my shoulders. “I can make anything happen. Tell me what you want and I can do it. I wouldn’t be working for Sony if I wasn’t good at what I do.” She finished and I just gave her my fish-face.

      “Here is your schedule and I expect you to be on time” she ordered. “Your classes have been changed, choir and gym are now at the end of the day and you report here instead of those classes. Each day we’ll do vocal coaching and the next day we will do the track.” And she looked at me.

      I had just been put into warp-drive. “I want to talk to Richard Carpenter and Barry Gibb again; can you make that happen?” I asked.

      Now it was my turn to see her fish-face; it was cute. “Right now?” She asked, and I laughed shaking my head no.

      “I do want to talk to them again though” I finished.

      I looked at her; this little rocker chick. She was cute as fuck and a body to match. I wondered as I felt myself smile and lick my lips and then she put me in my place.

      “This!” as she dramatically ran her hands over her front. “This is not included. Got it?” And she smiled.

      “I got it Niki; but if you ever change your mind. Do you need a ride?” I finished with all the charm and coy shit of a North Dakota farm boy. She nodded. We’re gonna get along just fine.

      The entire month of February was a blur. Each day, every day, was training or vocal for the track and video. Technology today! This trailer had a sound room, a room with a green screen that could project anything, and a room that charted my body and could turn me into a hologram.

      I had so many artists to chose from, more lyrics than you can imagine, and I had narrowed it down.

      Roy Clark and Dean Cooper: Yesterday when I was Young. 

       John Denver and Dean Cooper,

      Whitney Huston and Michael Jackson, 

      George Michael and Glen Campbell;

      and John Lennon; along with Randy Travis. And Dean Cooper.

      Jonny Cash and Conway Twitty rapped up the country part. I was to be billed as, Dean; North Dakota farm boy; although I had never even driven a tractor. We didn’t farm.  

      I know Randy hasn’t died yet but he probably wishes he had. For Ever and Ever Amen. 

      All of them were great, each one with a ton of music and I took a song from each, and with technology, made it seem like we were singing together or to each other. We would lay down the vocals and then I would fake it in the video later; all except one.

      I walked the halls of my school late one night. Lights were on and camera dollies filmed as I sang and the vocal was picked up. The halls had such great acoustics. I chose the song and arrangement, came up with the theme and called it a bonus track. It was for Rick; a full circle kind of thing.

      ‘Everybody Hurts Sometimes.’ I rapped walking down a hall and Rick sang walking down another. When the day is long and the night and the night is yours alone. And I’m sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on. We did it separately and technology married us. He came to the intersection of the hall and looked at me.

      Don’t let yourself go, cause everybody cries, and everybody hurts sometimes. As I walked through his aberration and then it was our backs walking away from each other as kids shadows filled the halls like on any other day and we disappeared.

      I watched the finished product the next night with Niki and ‘the magic man.’ That’s what we called him. “Ok guys; it’s a rap.” And the crew gathered up their shit and in a few minutes, it was just the two of us.

      “Dean??? You and Rick?” she asked. Her head was kind of tilted and she had a soft questioning look.

      I turned to her and nodded; the tears, suddenly unlocked, just streamed down my cheeks.

      “Oh baby, come here. Niki will fix this.” She said pulling my face to her bosom.

      She was soft… and smelled so… good. Her hand came around my neck pulling on me to kiss my head. “It’s ok. Let it out, Honey.” And I did.

      I took advantage of her warmth and wonderful feel. I let it out. I so… needed this. I turned up and caught her eye as my hand slipped under her shirt and traveled up her side. I saw her eyes close as I’m sure she wondered how far I’d go.

      I never moved to her chest and I just rested my hand on her soft hot skin. I looked up at her again. I think I could have if you know what I mean. I think she would have if you know what I mean’ forgotten what she told me that first night but, after a minute we both laughed at what might have happened.

       After dropping Niki off I returned home only to fall into my bed. Now a face was added. Rick, Jeff, and Niki fill my nighttime thoughts.

                       Niki’s POV.

      I kissed him on the cheek when he dropped me off. I was exhausted. I stood in the shower just letting the water wash over me; I don’t think I’d had three hours sleep since I got here but I knew it would pay off in the long run.

      I thought about Dean and I would have fucked him seven ways to Sunday had things been different. I know I look young but I am twenty-three and he isn’t even eighteen.

      One hand ran over my stomach and down, the other ran up to my sensitive nipple. All four fingers went between my legs and three curled up and found internal wetness brought on by Dean. I really wanted to fuck his brains out.

      I found myself on the shower floor with water hitting me in the face. My hand; fingers and thumb pulled together and most of it I was sliding in and out of me as I thought about him. I turned over; now on one hand and my knees.

      I ran the other hand over my ass a couple of times from behind and as my thumb slid into my tightest hole the other four fingers found their way into my wettest one. I bounced my head off the wall as I banged myself hard. I had been doing the same thing for the last two weeks.

      Why do I do this? Dean is the fourth guy in the last year; the fourth gay guy. Dean, though. He was all that and then some. I don’t know if it was the way he tilted his head? I don’t know if it was the ND drawl he had or if it was his eyes? Maybe what pushed in his pants, or his dimples? It was all distracting, to say the least.

      I watched his transformation from that kid doing his school assembly and then Ellen. His clothes and hair changed, he developed the confidence of someone years older and then the AMA’s; I swooned.

      Needless to say, I came with a cry. I crawled out to the bed and climbed in. The fucking light on my phone was blinking. I struggled wondering if I should even look. The job won. Dean’s name lit up the screen.

      Fuck! “I think I love you, Niki. Like a sister I never had; a real close sister. Thank you for tonight and when we get to Florida I want to take you out and show you a good time.” DC.

                     Dean’s POV.

      After dropping Niki off, I turned down an old field road and came to a stop turning off the lights and just watching it snow. I thought about tonight and The Bonus Track. It hurt to watch, and then Niki. I knew I could fuck her. She thought it was Rick and me but, it could have been her. She could have had my virginity.

      I never said I was gay. I said I had never fucked a girl. I now knew that girl would be Niki, come hell or high water. She was maybe 5’4. She always wore tight t-shirts and skinny jeans. Her eyes were like a sea-green and her hair was black. I knew it was from a bottle. Without a stitch of makeup, she looked better than those who spend an hour on their face. Her body was like none I had seen before.

      I sent her a text. I thought about the words and wrote it over and over. If she could read between the lines I was going to fuck her in Florida.

      In two days Richard Carpenter would fly from California, me from ND, and we’d meet Berry Gibb in Florida; Niki would be at my side. Parker and Winston questioned me on whether they should be there and I assured them C&G would do the right thing.

      I had squared off with Sony and pretty much told them the same. “If you don’t trust Niki then why in the fuck did you saddle me with her?” I got what I was looking for. I had worked out a plan.

      “You can stay here, Dean.” Berry told me on the phone “You can all stay here. We would love to have you.” He finished.

      “Niki and I would enjoy that too, but, I couldn’t put you out like that and I’m sure.” I was cut off.

      “It’s settled then. You will stay here.” The last surviving brother told me, “I can’t wait to meet you, Kid.”    

      The Gibb and Carpenter songs would be done in his studio and it would be the three of us. Sony would have a crew on site and both had agreed to give fifty percent to the project. I couldn’t have asked for more.

      I watched the snow falling and had grown hard as I thought about it all. I unbuttoned my pants and let little Dean out. I ran a hand under my ball and then up my shaft bringing it to my face to smell. I like the way I smell when I’m hard.

      “You need to wait until we get home, little buddy,” I told his one eye. And I started the truck, spun a broody, and headed back to the main road. It was about ten minutes until I came to a stop. It was almost eleven.

                       Jeff’s POV.

      I saw him leave the trailer with that girl. I followed them to the Hotel and then Dean until he turned off the main road and came to a stop turning off his lights. I’m not stocking him. I just can’t stop thinking about him.

      We moved here when I was fourteen and Dean was the first person I met. I’m not bad looking; I know that but, Dean. He was everything I wanted to be and be with. I tried so hard to be a friend but Dean was unapproachable.

      I watched him in school and he had a lot of friends. And I admired him from afar. I could tell his group and would watch them. And then Sophomore Dean, with Senior, Julie, his girlfriend; she was the perfect cover.   

      I could tell Dean was on his phone as the cab of the truck he was driving had a blue glow inside. ‘What am I fucking doing? This poor guy has been through hell and back and I am stocking him because I have fallen for his perfect ass. I drove away disgusted with myself.’

                      Dean’s POV.

      I drove past Jeff’s house before pulling into our driveway. I had looked over and saw the light was on in his bedroom. I wondered what he was doing as I walked in and up to my room. I was so… horned up.

      I locked my bedroom door. My body needed a little attention and I was going to give myself a special hour. I deserved it. I undressed in front of the mirror. I ran a finger around each nipple and then down to Little Dean.

      I touched myself. I’d retrieved the box from my closet that held the shit I privately used when I was lonely. I always felt guilty about it. The bedside light was on when I opened it.

      The clear silicone cock-sleeve was on top and I pulled it out admiring like a long lost friend and set it next to me. The bottle of lube was a large economy size that was still about half full. I studied the false pieces at the bottom and choose the one in the middle.

      It was the thickest but not the longest. I had everything laid out on either side and the only thing missing was something real. Eight months ago I had buddies and then I had Rick. Masturbation wasn’t really an issue but I had acquired my things.    

      I wrapped a tight ring around my balls and another at the base of my engorged cock. I lubed the fat dildo and inside of the sleeve after putting on my headphones.

      My head rested on the pillow and my knees were under me as I held that fake dick to my opening thinking about Jeff. I bit my bottom lip as I rubbed the blunt knob over my hole then sat up forcing my tightest spot open to the invasion.

      I was stretching myself kind of fast and when I bottomed out I slipped the wet sleeve over my swollen member and just left it there. I rested the base of my new friend between my heels so I could move more freely and started my session. In my headphones I was swooned by Dean Ford; ‘Reflections of my life. All my sorrow.’

      I could hear the ring in my headphones and wanted to cry. I looked at my phone and saw Jeff on the screen. I answered with the button on my headphones and slid the sleeve over my cock again as I said, “What Up?”

      “What are you doing, Dean?” His voice had such question. “Can I come over?” He asked.

      “Now isn’t the best time Jeff. I’m right in the middle of something and I really don’t want to start over, if you get my drift.” I honestly told him.

      “Is it anything I could help you with, Coop?” he asked with a wonton tone.

      I was moving back and forth on that fat cock thinking about Jeff’s. It’s why I had chosen this one; it was most like his. I knew what was meant in his offer. He had made it abundantly clear that it was a standing challenge a few months ago.

      “Dean”?

      I had closed my eyes and was getting into it from behind. “I love the feel of your cock, Jeff. The way it gets fatter at the bottom and the way you fill me. You can go a little harder now, Jeff. Yes; right there. Roll with me you perfect bastard; I want to be on top.

      If you try you can suck some of my cock in this position; there you go. Yes, pull on my balls. Harder. Harder. Now hold them like that. In a minute I am going to cum in your mouth and you are going to fill me with your unborn children.”

      “D Dean. Oh, Dean.”

      “Shut up and fuck me. You like those long deep strokes don’t you? You can’t believe my ass is still so tight, can you? Your cock is perfect, it fills my ass completely.

      OK, Jeff. Here we go. Suck faster. Pull my balls more. Now bury that perfect cock in my ass and cum.” I ordered.

      My hands were behind me as I leaned back taking that cold loveless cock down to the base. I sat forward and turned over in the middle of the bed throwing my legs over my head and reinserting that thing and thrusting hard.

      I pulled the sleeve off and reached out my tongue licking the few drops that had pushed past the ring. I grabbed my balls with the other hand and was toe walking down the wall behind me until they hooked into the headboard. I watching the first inch of my dick disappear into my mouth and I started rolling the rubber ring down tightening further on my purple balls.

      I fucked my self hard; harder than I think I ever had before. My balls were starting to hurt and I slapped them, then again. With my heels and the headboard for leverage, I pulled more of my dick into my mouth and thought about sucking Jeff.

      I snapped the ring on my balls then yanked it off completely. I loved how fast the pain ends. I started turning that fake dick in my ass then hit the switch and a tidal wave of cum catapulted into my mouth as I pulled the toy from my ass and rammed it back in pushing another wave into my mouth.

      I did it over and over without swallowing until some just naturally slid down my throat and more from the sides of my mouth pushed out as I pulled, even more, dick in. I was spent and released my foothold on the headboard and straightened myself out with the vibrator still on.

      My hard swollen shaft was hopping and when I rolled the ring from the base and squeezed my balls watching as my belly button filled and overflowed with more cum. This was epic!   

      “Dean? Fuck, Dean. Are you there?” He asked.

      I don’t know why I just had phone sex with him. “Did you cum, Jeff?” I asked. It seemed like a good starting point.

      “Right when you told me to. I’ll cum for you anytime you want; I told you that. I always thought it would be you on top of me though; not the other way around. Did you cum, Dean?”

      “I filled your mouth when you filled my ass. Sweet dreams, Jeff.” And I ended the call.

                   From your Author: 

                         WELL????