The Start

by RJC

1 May 2019 1231 readers Score 9.4 (364 votes) PDF Mobi ePub Txt


From your author:

I don’t even know what to title this chapter. All I know from your emails is you wanted it yesterday. This story ended months ago and as I dole it out I do rewrite and pull in things from what’s happening around us today.

I know why we are all here and I know we don’t want sad shit; I totally get it. Sorry, that’s life. I do try to mix it up with the hot stuff but we have to acknowledge life and how acts of violence have a ripple effect on so many more than one or two people.

The news can’t even describe what a school shooting does to a community. This one was the worst in a while, a large county with three high schools. There was Dean’s, the biggest in town, and then two of seven fifty or so. To say, ‘everybody knew everybody.’ You get the picture.

You as a reader need to understand the man that writes what you read. I love music, lyrics, and scotch. This saga revolves around music and the message a single song can say. I hope you take a minute to pause and log on to YouTube. I could write pages and not describe what is going on in the heart of any caricature. It’s like they say about a picture. A picture can speak a thousand words. A hundred words in a song can speak volumes.


Dean’s POV:

I heard Niki on my phone asking Jeff why he was lighting me up. I nodded and took the phone. He told me what was happening and asked if I knew. I was too ashamed to answer. I did have a good idea of what it was like for Donny. He had come to my window more than once but I wanted to remain ignorant.

I have never really wanted to kill someone but I wanted all of them dead for what they had done to Donny. Can you imagine knowing what I did and doing nothing? I’m not looking for an out but I was just a kid in a redneck State who couldn’t call out one of the richest family’s in the county. But I should have. You should if you ever have the need.

Today though, today I was Dean Cooper and I could and would call out anyone who hurt kids. I told Niki to get Mike and Bill on the line as I thought about Jeff taking Donny to the hospital in Minot. I’m sure Jeff put a towel down on his seat; he was crazy anal about his car.

My mind was going a million miles an hour and Niki nodded at me and handed me the phone. I put it on speaker. I thought about what Jeff told me and how Donny didn’t confirm or deny anything about the missing boys and I wondered.

I listened as both men explained about things that had happened years ago then it was like the curtain opened up. Mike Gear and Adolf were buddies; then I realized it was more than that and I confronted him with my new found understanding.

He confirmed my suspicions. He and Adolf were still buddies and I realized Mike had loved Adolf for decades. He was in love with Adolf and even after both of them married for normalcy their love affair continued. I wondered how he could love a man like that and then it was clear.

“Mike? You weren’t involved with those boys, were you?”

It took a minute to sink in when Bill said: “they’re here.” I remembered what Donny said. ‘They’ll come looking for me and if they think I told.’

Jeff’s POV:

Donny was in bad shape; real bad shape and was in surgery. I wasn’t paying attention to what was going on then people started gathering around. Everyone was looking at the TV. It was my school. Captions were running across the screen and I pushed a chair over to turn the volume up.

Three unnamed men had entered the school and just started shooting a little after nine; all three were now dead along with unknown dead and injured. Shit starts buzzing around the hospital and ambulances starting pulling in and a helicopter landed in the parking lot.

My phone rang and my mom's face came up. I answered saying I was ok and wasn’t even there. I had taken a sick friend home and saw it on the news. I was just going to call her. I saw another incoming call and told mom I’d call her later.

“Dean?”

“It’s Niki, Honey. Are you ok? How is Donny?” she asked.

“Does Dean know there was a shooting at our school?”

“He knows, Jeffery. It was Donny’s dad and brothers. Dean was on the phone with your principal when it started.”

“I need to talk to him,” I told her.

“We’re getting on a plane right now. We’ll be there in five hours. Stay with Donny and some security guys will be there.” And the call ended.

I had to come clean with my parents and told them it was Donny Fossness I had taken to the hospital. No one understood that Donny was the biggest victim of all. So many died and more were left with scars and wounds that might never heal. And Donny; being the last Fossness, wore the shame of that. It was so… unfair.

Dean had a room for us at the Lion’s and I stayed with Donny. His Father and two Brothers had done things to him that nobody should have to endure but Donny had lost his whole family; fucked up as it was, and I wasn’t ready for the fallout. Donny wasn’t either.

Donny would be the brunt of everybody’s pain and anger. I would be guilty by association. My parents couldn’t understand why I would throw away my life and everything we had here for the likes of, Donny Fossness. Nobody understood. How could they? And how could I walk away from him?

We were taken from the hospital two days later. It was the middle of the night and we were put in a black SUV by three guys wearing suits. Somehow Dean knew what was going to happen. I had no idea. A big guy stood at our door; twenty-four-seven.

Donny was the opposite of Dean and me. I guess the best way to describe Donny would be Clark Kent off of Smallville. He was five inches taller than me and was everything I wasn’t. All of him was chiseled, from his nose to his calves; I’d seen first hand. But with his size and wet dream looks he was shy and slouched when he could. He didn’t wear clothes that showed off his body and muscles; he’d wear baggy shit. He was your typical victim.

School had been canceled until further notice and Councilors from across the country came to my school. School was still open but there were no classes and kids needed somewhere to go. I didn’t leave the room. The first time I opened the door a huge guy in a suit reached into his left side asking if everything was, ok? I didn’t open the door for five days after that.

I guess there is a name for someone like me who falls in love with the person they’re taking care of. Donny needed someone and I guess it’s in my nature to be needed.

I talked to Dean through Niki as the days went by. Dean was still working even with everything that was going on here; it had started again; where’s Dean.

It was six days in and I had been sleeping with Donny in the same bed. I was clothed and on top of the covers as I lay awake holding him. I remembered what Dean had told me. ‘I could never hold you, never kiss you, and I could never hold your hand.’

Donny was in the bath and I was watching TV. I was feeling so guilty for letting him suck me off last night. He came out of the bathroom and knelt in front of me. “Please, Jeff?”

I didn’t give in right away, how could I? Yes I had been fucking around with Max but Donny seemed like he was paying me back for staying with him and that made me feel cheap. I wasn’t staying with him for a blowjob. But poor big Donny wanted to suck me and I was in no position to say, no.

“You don’t have to, Donny,” I said to his hazel eyes.

He stood in front of me showing all of his six foot three and took in a big breath puffing his chest up to all of the forty-eight inches. I suddenly felt scared and I think Donny saw that.

“Please, Jeff. Don’t be scared of me. I could never hurt you,” and he was on his knees again taking my soft unit into his mouth. This felt so wrong and waves of guilt washed over me thinking he was thanking me for something I never wanted to be thanked for.

I thought there was no way I could get hard; I was wrong. I didn’t want to, didn’t want to give into the warm lips around little Jeff; I hardened. I’d never had anyone suck me like, Donny was. Whatever he was doing was nothing like a blowjob. Donny loved me with his mouth.

I finally took his head with both hands and gently showed him what he was doing was working. I still felt guilty. I tried not to think about the times he had done this to his. No. I can’t think of that.

Add to the guilt of this poor guy sucking me I took advantage to think of Dean. I took my hands from Donny’s head and reached back to hold the frame of the couch afraid I might get aggressive. I closed my eyes so I could see Dean’s face. It was wrong on so… many levels but I let Donny suck me to a cataclysmic orgasm.

I woke up naked knowing I had slept like this with Donny and I heard the water running in the bathroom. The water turned off and I lay there thinking about a flood of shit. Then it felt weird. I warred with myself thinking I was just stupid.

I walked to the door then pushed it open. Donny was in the tub with a pair of scissors sticking from his abdomen. The tub was red with blood and Donny was white compared to his normal color. I screamed like a little girl.

I was pushed aside by one of the big guys and he pulled the plug for the tub as he talked out loud.

“I need the bag, one down.” And he turned to me. “Get out of the fuckin way and put some clothes on.”

The other two guys were in the room and the first guy was trying to feel a pulse and get Donny to respond. He took a syringe from the bag and slid it in next to the scissors and emptied it. That got Donny’s attention. I guess it was something used in the field for injured.

I was on the floor naked as these three guys went to work. A blanket was laid out on the floor and a comatose Donny was pulled from the tub and I was again told to put some clothes on. It’s weird. It was all like in slow motion. I did pull some pants on and grabbed my shoes and phone. I followed the two carrying Donny in a blanket down the hall.

Donny was put in the back of that SUV and one guy climbed in with him as the other took the passengers seat and I was in the back. I thought we would go to the hospital. “Where can we take him?” The driver asked the guy behind me.

“Where can we take him kid? And don’t say a hospital.” The guy yelled in my ear.

“My uncle is a Vet.” I had no idea where that came from.

“Call him.” And I did as I gave directions to his office in Rugby. Normally the sixty miles would take an hour; normally.

The guy in the passenger’s seat got out with me and we walked in the front door and the guy told everybody, “OUT.”

He stood at the door as I tried to explain to my uncle what was going on and the other two brought Donny in the back door and said, “Fix him.”

“He needs a hospital.”

And the guy pulled out a gun and said, “Fix him.” I thought I was going to piss myself then I looked at Donny.

Niki’s POV:

It had been six weeks since his stones. One week since the shooting. A Dad bringing his son to school late shot all three in the back as they mowed down kids. Twelve died, twenty will never be the same. Donny Fossness tried to commit suicide. Dean was a freaking mess. Mike Gear ate a bullet not long after the calls went dead.

Dean refused. We landed back in Minot and he refused to get out of the plane. He was crumbling. He didn’t want to know who was dead; couldn’t handle that. This was way worse than the night in the trailer. We had been in the air for about five hours and Dean was numb from the booze he swilled but seemed ok; seemed being the keyword.

After assuring him that we’d stay in Minot tonight and we would fly out tomorrow for somewhere he was wheeled off the plane. When we checked in at the Lions and I got him in the tub I gave Dean two pills and called his Mom.

The conversation with Barry was uncomfortable, to say the least. I relayed Dean’s request. Dean needed some guys. Barry said he would make it happen and asked where. I explained about the shooting, Donny, and what Dean thought might happen when word got out.

I hadn’t closed the door all the way and after talking to them I just slid down the wall next to the door and listened to him sob. I was so broken up over how broken up he was and didn’t think I could help him. I changed for bed and waited for him to come out. I lifted up the covers for his naked body and within a few minutes, Dean was asleep on me.

Dean had to be doing something and that can be hard in a hotel room. We’d been back and forth across the United States and Canada. We were now headed for England via Washington, Hawaii, Australia, and Japan. Dean couldn’t handle more than six hours in a plane and a fifteen-hour flight took us seven days. And I hadn’t seen his dimples in two weeks.

We spent a night and a day in Washington before heading for Hawaii. I could tell this would be his destination when all was said and done. We walked through the arboretum hand in hand feeding birds. We ate lunch at a little shop in the U District surrounded by college kids. Nobody recognized him.

Dean seized this opportunity to go forty miles north to a school district that had had a shooting a few years ago. This shooter was known to the community and was a member of a tribe that was in the boundaries of the district’. He was given complete access. He didn’t want to leave.

Hawaii was, Kelly Clarkson. It seemed that ‘Everybody Hurts’ and ‘Sound of Silence’ was at the top of the charts and Dean did them with her like he had Pink. Poor fucking Dean had been wearing a black band on his arm since the shooting. It was his way to draw attention.

Barry was in Australia and we spent two days there so Dean could sit in on a whole show singing back up next to Barry and the Gibb offspring. It seemed that all of this was distracting him from the funerals back home; and the press. Fox, the news of choice, in ND was saying how heartless Dean was and how he didn’t seem fazed at all by what happened at his school. If they only knew?

Dean walked out on stage in white shiny pants and a black tee shirt along with a silver coat over his shoulder. Staying Alive played as he came out.

Barry laughed as Dean used the Bee Gee strut on to the stage. It was planned and Dean worked it. I could see the frustration in Dean’s eyes though as he tried and failed to hit the high falsetto notes that were no longer there. The damage in Florida had taken his high range and along with the fact that his voice was still changing pissed him off.

A Bee Gees statue had been erected and with Dean, on one side and Barry on the other, I took the picture. It was strange how Dean had quickly adapted to the large crowds; fifty thousand or more didn’t faze him. Now I’m not saying he didn’t have panic attacks but when show time came he sucked it up and acted like this was normal. I was expecting a big crash.

In America, Dean’s, seemingly lack of interest for what had happened and the funerals vilified him. Dean had not seen the news and only aloud Niki to give him one name a day. I handed him a folded piece of paper in the morning and waited for his response; it was the only way I knew how to plan the day. And I could tell. He devoted that day to the person he knew and by the next day he was ready for another. It went on for almost two weeks and Dean did what he needed when he needed, but.

Another seven hours in the air and we landed in Japan. Keith Urban. The Japanese love Keith and Dean was well received. Another six in the air and we were met at the airport in London. Three days with Elton, his Husband, and their kids, on the most amazing estate. Dean needed to rest.

I sat with David on the veranda having tea as Dean and Elton walked the lawn arm in arm. We had arrived last night; I had never been in a castle before. I was still trying to come to grips with being on first name bases with people I would have been tongue-tied talking to on the phone a few months ago.

“Elton didn’t stop talking about him for a week. He was so stoned back then he didn’t even remember. It was good for him to record it again sober with Dean.” He took my hand.

“He looks at you in a way.” Talking about Dean, and I nodded.

“Are you?” and I shook my head no.

“We’ve been through a lot.” And I looked away.

“I don’t know what we are. I just don’t know what’s behind his eyes when he looks at me or when he holds my hand.” I really didn’t know.

“We sleep in the same bed and we shower together but we haven’t even shared a proper kiss.” I had no idea why I was unloading and dumping all of this on a stranger.

“I can read between the lines. There was something about that boy with the hair; he was a mate, am I wrong?” And I shook my head.

“He was more than that. Dean told me months ago that he’d only sampled one fruit and wouldn’t label his sexuality until he sampled the other. Yes, they were buddies.”

“Ouch. That must have stung.”

“You think?” I replied sipping my tea watching Dean with his Granny.

“I should tell you now; don’t get all pissy. We have some people coming for dinner tonight. Elton wants to show Dean off.”

“Dean doesn’t like surprises. Now really isn’t the time.”

“Elton will tell him. Everybody is coming dressed for dinner and clothes have been put in your rooms. E is so fuckin camp.” And I laughed.

Dean and I shared a room but my clothes had been put in the room across the hall from his and I had a girl to help me dress. The gowned was floor length, off white, with an open back along with modest sequins and a low cut front. I was looking at myself in the mirror and a knock came to the door; the girl helping me answered.

A man in a suit handed her a blue velvet box. She walked to me and from behind attached a necklace. My hand came up as my breath was robbed from me. I’m not sure what all the stones were but they were big.

“You are stunning, Mum,” came from behind. And she helped me into long white gloves.

She did final touches and another knock came to the door. “It’s time, Mum.”

I stood at the top of the stairs and looked down on Dean. And then he looked up at me. It was like that seine from Titanic. He was in full tux and a flower on his lapel. What was behind his eyes he couldn’t hide from me tonight? I took the stairs one at a time and didn’t take my eyes off him.

“Close your mouth, Farmboy.” And I saw his eyes get wet. “Dean?”

Dean’s POV:

I have a real problem riding in a cigar-shaped cylinder for more than six hours and I made that point clear to Niki. She only gave me the next days schedule but I knew she was trying to get me to England in six-hour hops. And then she dumped seven days on me. I still worked after the shooting but I refused to talk about it and I did no news.

With help from Barry, I was able to arrange security for Jeff and Donny. Niki shook me awake pushing the phone in my face. I was paying three guys a thousand dollars a day each, to make sure nothing happened to them. I somehow knew how the people in my town would react.

It was guy one and he told me that boy one had a wound in his stomach that could have been self-inflicted or possibly by boy two. It appeared that Guy one had a reputation of never losing a protected; they were at Jeff’s uncle’s office. He was a Vet. What the fuck???

We landed in Hawaii and I have to say Kelly gives the best hugs. I think about things like that now and I tried to hug like she does; like it might be the last time to huge this person. It was so… funny because Rick looked just like Kelly’s competition on Idol. Justin Guarini. Coincidence? Maybe?

Kelly is so real. She tells it like it is and she made no bones that she liked Niki. Who wouldn’t? Both were serious potty mouths. We were backstage and she had the talk with me.

“Look, Dean. What you’re doing; I will help any way I can. And if you just want to talk all you have to do is call, Kid. And don’t let her get away,” Pointing her head at Niki. “You can do this.” She had tears in her eyes as she hugged me and walked out to fifty thousand people.

I listened from the side as she introduced me, finally. She went on and on about the Friends album and how the Project would now have the money it needed. I really hate people talking about me like I’m not in the room.

It really kind of surprised me how the size of the crowds grew and how it was becoming easier. Niki controlled things and this time around wasn’t such a rush like with Rick. I was seeing people for the second or third time and it was like sitting with friends talking, not doing interviews. But the concerts were different.

I have always liked Keith Urban and seeing him on Idol when Kelly appeared for the last show; that just topped it off. The Japanese fans overwhelmed me. We did ‘Free Falling’ a Petty song. It’s what we did for the Ghost track. I couldn’t leave the stage for fear of a stampede and just sat moving my lips to his songs.

The part of all this that was happening now, and Japan, made me hate the fame of it. I remembered Niki saying, ‘it won’t be just going from one place to another, Dean. It will take planning.’ I didn’t have guys for myself yet but it wouldn’t be long now.

Landing in London was like a breath of fresh air and the white Rolls made me smile. Now I understand what twelve hundred acres is but to put it in perspective, 640 acres is a square mile. We’re in the England High Lands. It had been five months since I recorded the album with Kelly and Keith but I missed Elton. It had been not even two months. Granny.

Niki and I had fallen into such a routine it was like we were married. I do enjoy holding hands, I love to cuddle, and Niki was filling those needs. I guess I hide my surprise better than she does.

“It’s a fuckin castle, Dean; a fucking castle!” She screamed at me shaking my arm.

It was something. It’s hard to describe if you have never been in one. It was five hundred years old and made of stone but had every convenience. Grand doesn’t even describe. Think about ‘The Overlook’ in the movie ‘The Shining.’ It even had a human size maze.

We were shown to our rooms and Niki just made herself at home in mine like had been the norm. I had recovered weeks ago but I couldn’t seem to find the time Niki and I needed. That’s not the truth. Niki scared me to fuckin death. It was becoming so natural the way I reached for her hand and how she knew when I wanted her to be my pillow. Fuck.

I looped my arm in his and we walked the grounds in the misty morning. “I’ve missed you, Granny.”

“Had a bout with stones, did ya? Bloody hell, I hear?” And I nodded.

“Women say they're worse than having a baby. I have them in my bag.”

“How are you doing, Dean? You look fantastic but, how are you holding up?” A heavy sigh came from me. It sucks when a simple question can drop a person to their knees.

“I’m not holding up at all. I never wanted any of this. Not like in you, I love you, but.” He didn’t say anything for a while as we walked and tears streamed down my cheeks. I guess I needed this.

I don’t know how they do it. My friends give me little advice but just being with them helps even if I just cry.

“Now don’t get all pissy. David planed a Dinner party in your honor; he wants to show you off. I told him you didn’t like surprises.”

“Sure you did.” And I bonked my head off his as we turned back and saw David and Niki watching us.

“Dean? I can’t even imagine. Did you know any of them?” He asked squeezing my arm.

“I knew all of them and the Dad that shot them; when he shot, Lars. It was threw and threw and a girl died from the same bullet.” And I started to cry again. I couldn’t fucking help it.

He pulled me to him and I cried on his shoulder. “You are so strong, Dean. We don’t have school shootings here.” That hit a cord. I sucked it up and wiped my tears. I thought of arrogance.

“You will.”

As far as peoples homes I had only stayed with Barry, John Legend, and Opera; it wasn’t like this. Everything was just so fuckin big. Granny explained how David had invited some of their friends over to show me off and we would dress for dinner. “He insisted. He’s so fucking camp.”

I have been dressing myself longer than I can remember but I was thankful for the man helping me now. I mean, really.

Now I can comb my own hair but the way he did it. I couldn’t believe how good I looked and then he affixed huge yellow diamond cufflinks to the French cuff shirt I was wearing.

He attached a yellow rose to my lapel to match the bow-tie, and that topped Dean off. I was in a black suit; snow white shirt with black ruffles. Yellow diamonds the size of marbles and a yellow, bow, fuckin, tie. I looked like a dressed up clown.

“You look fantastic, Sir.” I thought he was paid to say that. And there were two knocks on the door. “It’s time, Sir.” And he opened the door bowing and extending his hand in the direction of the hall.

by RJC

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