The Start

From your Author:

This is a style of writing that I personally enjoy in stories I’ve read. It is a difficult way to write but when a tail contains multiple main caricatures things just need to be told from their POV; there’s a need to keep everybody up to speed and I am trying. In most cases, it is redundant because it’s the same thing told by a different person.

In certain circumstances, I will do that but more than not it will progress the storyline from a different POV. Time will move differently. My past writings were non-fiction and when you’re making shit up it requires more; it’s a little harder than remembering. I hope things don’t get too confusing for those who like to read fast so maybe read slower.

Rick’s POV.

It had been more than hard for the last two months. Dean and I were getting along but he had no time to spend with me and we started eating lunch in a study room off the library just for some privacy. I was happy about the Bonus Track but we did it on different nights. He wasn’t even there.

Dean was holding strong to the no touching and it was frustrating me to no end. He had to see it in my eyes, the way I longingly looked at him. The way I always looked at him. Dean was focused though. He was on the go eighteen hours a day, every day. I sucked myself off so much my lips were chapped. And everywhere I looked I saw Jeff watching him.

Dean’s POV.

I had the next two days off from hard practice but I still had school and I’d agreed with Niki that I should do the vocal lessons. Only a twelve hour day. I walked out in the morning and there stood Jeff with a smirk on his face.

“Limo not show up, Jeff?” I asked and walked to the truck.

“My car wouldn’t start.” He replied kind of laughing; remembering.

I hit the alarm and said, “Get in.”

“Jesus, this thing is huge. How many cows died for this interior? And Ford is just letting you use it?” Jeff asked with his head kind of rocking back and forth.

“Yep. The truck is like eighty-five grand and when I drove home it had three miles on it. I can’t drive my car in the snow and ice, besides; I hear they put my car in the Minot showroom. I need something for bad weather but it won’t be this whale.” I finished.

Jeff leaned on the door just looking at me. “You really are something else, Coop,” he said. “I have never known anyone like you. Do you even know how amazing you are?” He finished.

I looked at him and smiled. He was being honest but I knew he didn’t know that many people. And then I looked down as he spread his legs apart a little and I could see his thick outline pushing at the front of his jeans. “Please don’t tease me, Dean. Don’t lead me on, please.”

We pulled into the parking lot and I saw Rick’s Mustang parked in front of the trailer and I reached for my phone. “Pick up your fuckin phone, Niki” I yelled as I threw mine on the seat.

My phone lit up, Niki. “Don’t you dare upset him? If you start something I swear to god I will do things and it won’t be pretty. Do-you-understand?” I finished with spit flying from my mouth. She found my button.

I listened as she explained. It wasn’t like that and she was just doing what she said; she was trying to fix this.

I parked and looked over at Jeff. “It’s never going to happen, is it?” He asked; the swelling in his pants now gone.

I saw the look he was giving me and I couldn’t help but feel sad and a little afraid I might be pushing someone who seemed so frail at this moment, over the edge.

I smiled. I gave it everything I had. “If it does happen, Jeff, it won’t be like last night. It will be so much more.” I said reaching over and patting his leg. The change in him was immediate. His eyes were bright again, that whole bravado thing and his macho body language returned.

I didn’t think I was leading him on. I said if. And I wasn’t lying when I said it would be, more. But in the back of my mind, I wondered if boys I liked needed some sort of pre-therapy before getting involved with me. I was going to have to tell, Phil, about Jeff.

I had lunch with Rick and he was kind of closed lipped as far as what he and Niki talked about. He didn’t seem upset and actually seemed kind of upbeat.

“You know, Dean? There was a certificate for a two-day spa retreat in that bag from the awards show.” And he just dangled it there.

I wanted to be pissed at him because ‘if I had two days I would sleep.’ But I knew the context of what he said. He wanted us to spend time together and maybe get over the touching hurdle. The fact was there would be no touching of anybody until Niki and I moved past what needed to happen.

It’s not like it was easy. This was advice from Phil and I hated him for it. Rick saw me as everything and I couldn’t be responsible for him or his happiness. He had to see that. I couldn’t handle my own happiness.

It had been nonstop for forty-five days. Niki had turned into so much more than ‘that girl.’ I flew once a week to do things for the album and Niki did her best to pack as much into a flight as she could. We did Ellen, in the afternoon, dinner, and a song with John.

I don’t know what I would have done without her. We landed in Atlanta the next week and I was pulled into a flash mob at the airport. Stand by me. Ben E. King. I had this on my list and fell right in. It was a-cappella.’ I don’t know who was singing but I started to move. My hands moved back and forth and Dean was in the zone. It was like Pentatonix.

It was Pentatonix, hired by Sony for a promo to get my face out there. I was set up and I was going to tear Niki a new one. It hit YouTube the same night and there was talk of that on the next album. The next album. I called Winston. 

“Two days is a lot of time, Rick.” If he only knew. “How about I pick you up and we go to dinner tonight after I finish?” I asked. I was already exhausted and didn’t know where I’d find the energy.

It was like a repeat of Jeff earlier this morning. Rick’s smile broke out as he asked, “Really?” There was the energy I needed.

His head tilted the way he does and I think he was going to say, thank you. I felt bad that something as simple as a couple hours and dinner together would mean so much to him. It’s humbling and scary at the same time.

I didn’t drive the truck over and park it by the trailer; I just walked around the gym after lunch. I had been waving my hand over the motion sensor for about a minute looking into the camera saying, “Real funny, Niki,” knowing she was watching me. And the door finally opened.

“This way, heartbreaker,” and I did as I was told.

“What? Do you have some sort of pixie dust that you throw on people like Rick and me?” She questioned starting to wave her finger in my face.

“I don’t know if you put off some sort of pheromone or if it’s just your fuckin confidence, maybe it’s how you present yourself but, fuck.” And she shook her head and came to a stop.

This was a frisky side of her I had never seen and it turned me on. Niki was my PA and she raised her voice to me for the first time. I watched her chew on the inside of her cheek as her eyes ran over me and I couldn’t help but smile at the cuteness of her.

I stood tall and pushed both hands into my front pockets and leaned back, twisting from side to side a little wishing there was some dirt I could kick and say ‘ah shucks.’

I watched her face as I took a few steps backward and her eyes were now my crotch. I could feel myself and I knew I was showing off a little but I couldn’t help it. I pulled my right hand from my pocket and snapped my fingers a few times.

“Hello!!! I’m up here,” motioning up with my hand. It couldn’t have been more perfect.

She looked in my eyes and I watched her turn crimson. “I can’t even look at you when you do that,” she said spinning the chair and now I looked at her back. She was pouting about herself. Add another scoop of cuteness.

I walked up behind resting my hands on her warm shoulders. Leaning in I put my mouth next to her ear and asked all breathy, “Do what, Niki?” And I stood up when she spun around to face me and my crotch was about eighteen inches from her face.

“Why are you coming on to me like this when you’re gay?” She asked now looking in my eyes like she had just dropped a bombshell.

“I haven’t done anything to come on to you,” I said trying to defend my bad little self. “And I don’t know what you think you know but, I’ve only sampled one fruit and until I taste more I refuse to label my sexuality.” She was becoming flustered but stood in front of me.

“Look in my eyes and tell me you don’t have a relationship with Rick and that you don’t love him.” She asked as I was now backing up and she moved towards me poking her finger in my chest.

“We’re complicated, to say the least. You may, or may not, have any idea what I’ve been through with him but I will do anything to protect him. If that’s love; then yes, I love him. Are you happy now, Niki? And you do that finger thing again you and me are gonna go around.” I finished walking her backward.

When she ran out of room to back up I asked, “What happened today, Niki? Rick wouldn’t give up anything.” I questioned.

“He watched the playback just like you did. His reaction was the same as yours. He is hotter than fuck and you, you don’t even know; the two of you together. And if you weren’t coming on to me just now; I hope I’m there to see you flip that switch.” She finished pointing her head to the studio and the three that were waiting on me.

Jeff’s POV.

I sat in the back of his monster truck after school and waited. And I waited. I knew where he was but the back of the gym was off limits; cones and crime tape. Fuck it; I’m too cold. I walked around the corner and got a good look at the thing.

Up close and personal it was like standing in front of a building. I stood at the door and warred with my self about knocking. I was actually talking to my self when the voice scared the shit out of me.

“You’re in a restricted area, Hun. You need to go back the way you came.” She sounded almost mechanical in a way.

“Dean drove me to school today. I don’t have a way home. And I’m freezing out here.” I said to the air.

The door opened and it was the chick from last night. She made a hand motion and I walked up the five steps and embraced the warmth. We entered about twenty feet from the nose and to my right was the kitchen area and beyond was a set of glass doors and a large space that had mechanical stuff inside.

I looked left and saw a lounging area, a room of glass across and down from me and at the end of it all, I saw Dean. He was behind another glass wall and was holding one side of a headphone to his right ear so focused he didn’t see me. He was singing but I couldn’t hear.

“I’ll get him,” she told me and I stopped her.

“Can I watch for a sec?” I pleaded as she stood next to me. “Is there any way I can hear him?” I asked almost out of breath. And she nodded her head motioning to the glass room in front of us and the man inside smiled.

The guy was wearing headphones and she gestured for a set and handed them to me as I watched him on the largest of the five monitors. He had just ended and the guy next to me started talking to Dean through a mic attached to his headphones.

“Dean, you can’t hang up on the arrangement. It’s supposed to be new. We are going for vocal and range. If you were doing karaoke this would be the shit, dude. Dean? Let’s try it without back up; guys out of the room. I’ll play it on your headphones. Dean, if you can’t dial it back a little put another three inches between you and the mic.” He finished.

“I’ll say goodbye, love” he started and I thought I would lose it. “No one ever cared if I should live or die; time and time again the chance for love has passed me by and all I know of love is how to live without it.” I folded my arms on the console in front of me and rested my face as I listened with my eyes closed. The fuckin Carpenters.

I really had no idea what he was capable of. When he finished Dean said, “Play it back,” so casual. I got up and took off the headphones.

“Come with Niki,” she said as I turned.

I followed her and as she sat down Niki turned to me and announced, “He infected you with his ‘Dean dust’ didn’t he?” she finished with a smile.

I’d sat down and her question caught me off guard and I just nodded resting my head in my hands.

“Ok. Be honest. He is all that and then some, isn’t he? But he’s really not all that and then some; is he?” She asked.

“Oh, he is,” I assured, smiling, thinking about him. “How can he do that?” I asked. I just couldn’t wrap my head around talent like his. Never really thought about it before. “How can he sound like that?” I questioned again shaking my head back and forth.

“I’ve known him for almost four years and I never knew. How could I not have seen it?” I questioned really wanting to know how he kept this to himself and how I was so blind.

“I don’t think he’s ever explored this side of himself before. It’s something inside that he found. Dean’s really like a child learning to walk when he suddenly realizes he wants to run; needs to run to get to where he wants to be. What’s your name, beautiful boy?” She asked making me blush, I could feel it.

“I’m Jeff, and you’re Niki,” I said smiling so wide my eyes closed a little and grapes could’ve fit in my dimples. “I was in the truck this morning when he was talking to you. I saw his face, he wasn’t serious.” I told her.

“I know,” as she shook her head. “But I should have told him I’d called Rick. He likes to be in the loop. I was pissed when I called him and was ready to kick his ass but, I couldn’t after I showed him the finished product.” She ended shaking her head back and forth.

“What you heard and what I’m going to let you see it top secret. In two weeks the roof is going to blow off the music industry. And then it will happen again. Dean is the powder-keg that’s going to make that happen. No one has ever released albums three months apart.”

And she reached for my hand. “If any of this gets out I will kill you in so many different ways. Do you understand?” She finished as she squeezed my hand.

We walked back to the room with the guy in it and Niki said, “Put the Bonus Track on the big screen,” and handed me the headphones.

This song was already on my ‘sad’ playlist and I watching them just solidify that. I looked at the guy and rolled my finger for him to play it again. I was in wonder watching them and the message they were sending was powerful throughout the presentation in more ways than one. They did good.

I had taken time to absorb shit too. Dean wasn’t the only person to endure a whirlwind. Everything he and Rick had done affected all of us at school and my not so secret crush on Dean just grew exponentially. Add to that, last night; fuck.

“Put your coat back on, Honey. Lets you, and Niki, go for a walk.” And she reached for a parka as I put mine back on.

We got to the bottom of the steps and Niki put her right arm through my left as she turned us to the football field. We didn’t say much as we walked and before I knew it we sat up high in the dry part of the stadium. Niki was trying not to cuddle with me and I could see she was freezing.

I put my arm around her offering some body heat like any well mannered ND farm boy. It really wasn’t anything. It was like sharing an umbrella. And Niki took advantage of it.

“I. I’ve been working with him for eight weeks. I can’t even begin to figure him out,” she started and I nodded my head, totally understanding.

“This thing with Rick, and obviously you; how many more are there? I really need to know.” And she stopped and looked at the snow on the field.

“It could be so bad for him. I’m his damage control, too” she said turning to look at me.

“If you are trying it insinuate, Dean is some kind of whore or something; you’re way off base.” The way she asked pissed me off.

“No one will ever turn on Dean; not Rick or me, not any of our buddies. And I’m assuming not you, Niki.” I finished looking at her. City Chick thought I was dumb.

“Ok. He’s got to be ready for dinner; how about you, Jeffery?” And she stood.

We returned to the trailer and the guy surrounded by glass motioned for Niki to come. I followed. The big black man lovingly referred to as, Sugar, said, “You got to see this.”

Dean was on the big screen and sound came from everywhere. Holy shit! I looked at the screen and Niki, and then to the room where Dean sat on the floor in the corner. You don’t know what it’s like ‘To Love Somebody.’

It was like nothing I had ever seen or heard before. It was like he had a full band behind him and was taking everybody to church. His eyes were closed and he was singing from his toes. I have never seen any artist throw so much of themselves into a song. No wonder he was now emotionally crippled in the corner.

“Send this to Barry, with a warning.” And she went in and sat on the floor next to Dean like she had some magic elixir to make him better. He cried.

Dean was unresponsive to her. I pulled out my phone and called Max; he’s Rick’s little brother and we knew each other. “Tell him to come to the trailer behind the gym.” And I hung up.

Niki was getting nowhere and Dean dwelled in a dark place. Sugar shut down the cameras and took off his headphones motioning for me to do the same. It was like whatever happened; we didn’t need to bear witness. His flat nose was running and tears streamed down his face as he pointed to the door. It was like he was daring me to say something about it. My mamma didn’t raise no fool.

I saw the screen on the wall and Rick’s Mustang coming to a sliding halt. I told the big guy to let him in and when he got to the top of the stairs I nodded my head in Deans’ direction.

He stood outside the glass shaking his face back and forth. He turned and threw gritted teeth he spit at me, “What in the fuck have you done to him?” I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head. I really didn’t know what Dean had done to himself.

Rick walked in and it was the first sign from Dean that he knew what was going on. He turned and saw Rick then turned away. A few seconds later his hand blindly reached out and Rick knelt next to him and Dean flat out lost it. Niki came out sobbing.

I watch through the glass as Rick took Dean in his arms and cradled him softly saying things in his ear and Dean screaming, ‘I’m sorry,’ over and over. Rick slapped Dean, hard across the face and I so wanted to set Rick on fire.

Niki was on the phone again giving an ear full to whoever. “I told you three weeks ago he couldn’t keep up with this schedule.” She screamed at the phone. “He’s had a fuckin meltdown. He is a pile of mush crying in the corner. Are you happy?” And then she listened.

Niki was pissed and it showed. But what really showed was she cared for Dean. She cared so… much that she told her boss’s off. I saw something protective in her that I was sure reached beyond the job.

“Unless a miracle happens I don’t see him going to Florida. He could be in a rubber room for months.” And she listened more.

“You’re out of your fuckin mind if you think this is my fault. I told you in an email two weeks ago to lighten up; but no.” And I saw her eyes look down the long hall.

Niki’s POV

“I’ll call you back.” Dean was now standing with his hands draped over Rick’s shoulders and they were forehead to forehead. The two pulled apart and walked towards me and Dean had his head down.

“I promised him dinner and he’ll see I get home.” He said as his keys flew across the room and I reached. “You two figure it out but I need a ride in the morning.” He finished as he and Rick went down the stairs.

I felt like a fool. I never should have caught his keys. OK. I live in LA. I don’t carry a coat. I drive a little electric car that could fit in the back seat of this truck. Jeff hopped in on the other side. Jesus Christ. This looked like the cockpit of a plain.

I gave the keys to Jeff not even knowing how to start it and got out. We traded places. “Take me to the Hotel and you pick him up in the morning.” And he laughed at me.

We came to a stop and before I got out of the truck I said, “Jeff, honey; when I told you I’d kill you; I hope you heard me say, ‘I’ll feed you small pieces of yourself until your dead.’” And I gave him the eye.

The-little-fuck had the nerve to challenge me without a word. He unbuckled his seatbelt then pulled his right knee up on the seat turning towards me. He rested his back on the door looking me up and down.

Jeff tilted his head back on the glass turning to look at me and curled his right arm around the headrest dropping his left wrist across the steering wheel. And waited.

“Are all you North Dakota farm boys so… fucked up? How can you cry over Dean, and then throw all this shit in my face?” I thought of ‘Mormon Boys.’ I saw the next reality show.

“Slow down, City-girl; nothings changed. And what if I was throwing ‘all this’ in your face; not saying I am. But what if I pulled this out?” as he cupped his outline.

I smiled at him thinking about the pilot of this new show I would be the producer of then reached down to my ankle and pulled out a straight razor. The kind your grandpa shaved with. “I’d turn Jeff into Jenifer.” Letting the parking lot lights reflect off the steel and right into his eyes. It was cute watching his Jeff’s’-apple rise and fall.

Dean’s POV

We had done Karen’s song three times and I felt good about it and was still a little high over what happened with Niki earlier. When Sugar told me to do it the way I wanted and asked the others to leave; I thought about it. The words were powerful and I took the time to listen as I sang; something I really hadn’t done before now. As my mind wandered the shared stories whirled in my head.

So much had been dumped on me; no, I shouldn’t say, dumped. I’ve come to realize over the last months' people feel comfortable with me. They feel I understand or I’ve been through it, or I won't judge. I haven’t and don’t understand. Yes, they shared sadness, shame, and such guilt with me.

I thought about the untold stories of those on this album we shared. Their stories were in their songs; they had no one to tell. I just kind of rolled into ‘To Love Somebody.’ I thought about the Project and every person who benefitted from it. And I thought about Barry; the last brother standing.

Waves and waves of sadness crashed over me. It wasn’t a song I sang; it was a story I told and I could hold back. I had been hearing the word powerhouse. I have something not many have; I projected. And my range and falsetto was something people were talking about.

I was a victim of my own making but, now I was a victim of things others had entrusted me with. Their heartbreaking secrets. The crimes are never singular, my friends. They grow tentacles and before anyone realizes what’s happened someone like me is affected, or infected, years later. That is the reality of things that seem so harmless at the time.

{He seemed like he wanted it. He got hard. I undressed him and gave him what I wanted. He came. He never said Stop. It didn’t seem wrong. So why do I feel like this?}

(I knew it was wrong. I didn’t want to get hard but, I couldn’t help it. Why didn’t I tell him to stop? YES, it felt good! Who wouldn’t have cum? I knew it was wrong the whole time and I thought I might cry.) 

Suddenly hopelessness was all-consuming; pain and rage ran through me, hate and the stink of life flowed in my veins. I thought about Glen Campbell. The poor bastard. He didn’t remember anything. Would that be so bad, I wondered? Is that how it is when youth leaves you behind? Would the bad be forgotten at the cost of the good? It seems like a high price to pay. I’m in.

I had watched everything about these people. I saw nonstop Gibb brothers. There was a lot of pain there. I had already been thinking about my next album. It would be Campbell and Gibb, Carpenter, Michael, and Freddie Mercury.

But what I was doing now would never make a bit of difference in the end. People would continue the hate and anger. The ones left over from the orange toddler would still bread with their sisters and raise another generation of hate.

But when I saw Rick and the hurt that shown in his eyes seeing me like this; I nose dived right into a pile of shit. I threatened to kill a man over Rick. I thought nothing of myself that day as I explained to Jerry what I’d do, or have done. And the time may come when I have to fulfill that threat.

The resilience of youth! Really. A moment of tenderness, a needed slap across the face, and a little more tenderness. It’s better than an hour on Phil’s lap. Rick and I had dinner and it was like nothing had happened between lunch and now and I kissed him before I got out of the car.

After a surprisingly good nights sleep; considering. And an extra long shower, one of moms’ big breakfasts; I walked out and saw Jeff sitting in the driver’s seat of my loaner. I walked around and got in on the other side.

I didn’t put my seatbelt on and leaned back against the door and didn’t take my eyes off his. How can someone look so fuckin hot? He kept looking over at me until he finally smiled and asked, “What?”

I replied with my own, “What?” tilted head, smile, and dimples.

“Why are you looking at me like that, Coop?” He asked. No one called me that and I kind of liked it when Jeff did.

“Like what, Jeffery?” I returned knowing he would notice my use of his full name. We were playing a game.

“You should put your seatbelt on before the truck just explodes from all the bells and flashing lights. Really Dean, why are you looking at me like that?” He asked again.

“You must have never noticed. This is the only way I’ve ever looked you, Jeff.” And he turned back to what was in front of us.

“Why were you in, Sony One, last night?” I asked when he parked.

“I needed a ride. You brought me. If you’re worried about, don’t, Dean.” And Jeff turned away. “Dean, I will never breathe a word. You’ve changed so much. The way you are. The clothes you wear aren’t even sold here.” And I reached for his hand and pulled it to me.

He was right; I was, but wasn’t, the same person I was last summer. I learned from everyone I worked with and my taste in clothes and where I shopped changed a little. I was developing an image and Niki was helping me. It was important.

I released the clasp for the watch on my left wrist and pushed it over our hands and onto his right. Jeff was left handed and it was a gift I wanted him to have.

“Dean, you don’t have to do that. I said I wouldn’t say anything.”

“I would never cheapen you or try to buy your silents, or anything else for that matter, with something as simple as a Rolex. It’s a gift. I wouldn’t brag about it. No one around here will know it’s real unless you tell them. It was a gift to me from someone special and I want you to have it now.” I finished with another dimpled smile.

Great! Rick just pulled in and crawled past us. Jeff and I didn’t see him until he reeved whatever was under his hood to get our attention.

“I fuckin hate him.” filled the cab and Jeff turned off the truck and dropped the keys in my lap opening the driver’s door.

I reached for his arm. “If there was never a, Dean and Rick, would you still hate him? He told me last night that you called Max. Thank you, Jeff. You shouldn’t hate him because of me. Tell me you wouldn’t have reeled him in?” And he smiled.

“You brought me here and I expect the boy I came with to take me home,” I told him as I dropped the keys on his seat. Jeff pocketed them and I ordered him, “Pick me up at Sony One, after school.” How a smile can be so… much more.

Rick’s POV

I was surprised when Max continued to pound on my door telling me to open up. As I was downshifting and listening to the anti-lock breaks pounding away, praying I wasn’t going to total that trailer. I was in a four-wheel drift sliding at maybe twenty miles an hour feeling like I was picking up speed and the distance was closing in fast.

I let up on the peddle pulling the e-brake and the car straightened out and then I spun the wheel and dumped the clutch. Now I was sliding backwa. I closed my eyes and waited for impact. It didn’t happen.

I had no idea why Jeff would call Max or what Jeff was doing here. I had only been in the trailer once and here was Jeff. He head motioned to the end of the trailer and there was Dean. I was going to kill Jeff if he caused this.

Dean was a mess and seeing him so vulnerable hurt my heart. Niki looked at me and I moved my eyes to the door and she got off the floor and left us alone. Dean turned to me then buried his face in the corner again before slowly reached out like I might hit his hand away. That didn’t happen either.

I got down and held him. I stroked his hair and told him he was ok, over and over. After about ten minutes I cupped his cheeks and made him look at me.

“Dean? Are you going to pull out of this or do I need to slap you?” I asked trying to lighten the mood.

Dean nodded his head up and down and I realized. “I am not going to hit you, Dean. Now pull your shit together.” I firmly told him as tears filled my eyes.

“Pussy,” he growled at me and I reared back and slapped him hard across the face with my right hand then pulled his head to my shoulder.

“You’re a real fucker for making me do that, Dean. And don’t ever ask that of me again because I won’t do it; pussy, or not. Now you said you were taking me to dinner.” I finished trying to lighten things again and he smiled.

“That’s all you ever think about is your stomach?” He announced.

We stood and kind of had a moment forehead to forehead. We walked out with Dean tossing his keys and Niki’s fast reflexes catching them with ease. I hadn’t even shut my car off and Dean complimented on my park job seeing the willy-nilly tracks.

We sat across from each other eating slowly in silence. He would cut off a piece of meat then look at it for a minute or two before putting it in his mouth and chewing for another minute or two. He would pull a fork of potato up and blow on it even though it was cold.

He’d look at me like he was going to say something then just shake his head. I pulled in his driveway killing the lights and engine. Dean had held my hand the whole way and now there was awkward silence though we hadn’t said a word.

He pulled my hand up and kissed it. “Thank you, Rick. When I get back from Florida, we should take a break. We could go to Washington for spring break. You won’t believe the campus, Rick. I want to live on a houseboat.” He spoke out loud.

“Rick, the college is on a lake and there’s a cove filled with houseboats. We could canoe to school. How fuckin cool would that be?” He finished like telling me about a dream.

He dropped my hand then reached around and palmed my neck. The pull was so gently then his head tilted left and mine naturally right. Dean kissed me in the softest way, like maybe a tentative first kiss, maybe like the soulful last kiss, or a final kiss goodbye.

He pulled back and rained his fingers over my face like he’d do when he was on top of me looking down. He got out of the car never looking back. I watched him till he walked into the house and the porch light went out. I didn’t want to leave. Was Dean where I was? Would he go to his room and not be alive in the morning? I can’t think like this.

From your Author:

Well???

I realized when reading this back that there was none of what we are looking for in this chapter. I guess, this six thousand words is the build-up to what comes in the next chapter and the new caricature I am thinking about introducing.

As always, a kiss to our host.

Readers please tell me what you think with comments and ratings, or email me. RJC