Beyond The Blue

I fill in Jess on everything that happened as she keeps awing at everything I say as she has a look up at the fireplace and notices the picture that Connor put up with him and Chase together. “Who’s that in the pic?” she asks as she picks it up and has a look at it.

“That’s Connor and Chase” Jess nods remembering me telling her everything about the history with Connor in his life as we sit there. “So you seem much better about this whole situation with Connor, did you talk about what you two are calling all this?” I shake my head as I let out a sigh and realise how weird this sounds but I know Jess will get it.

“I dreamt about Harry last night and it was more just of a conversation between the two of us and he was telling me that he was happy that I found someone special and that he had stopped worrying about me,” I say as Jess rubs my shoulder and smiles.

“See that’s what I’ve been telling you and what everybody has been saying to you that Harry would want you to be happy and living your life,” she says to me as I smile and hug her tightly. I know that she is just doing her sisterly duties, but I owe to so much to Jess for everything that she has done to help me over the past two years as I struggled to get over everything that happened with Harry.

Jess looks at the time and has to go but tells me that she is happy for me that I’m happy and this situation is going really well between us. I get changed after Jess leaves and head to the gym for a little while before work. I zone out to everything and it’s lucky that Joel isn’t there so I can just get the work out in.

Heading to work after the gym, I get there early with the hope of seeing Connor which is weird because I get to see him almost every day now but something about seeing my boyfriend (if that’s what we call ourselves) in his uniform because everything is so tight. Getting in early, word has spread somehow of Connor and I living together because I walk past Joe who is on shift tonight and has to make a comment.

“Oh, so which one are you? Ken or Barbie in the dream house?” he says to me as I just ignore his comments and find Connor who is coming back from being out on shift with Steph. “Hey, did you tell anyone about us moving in together?” I ask him as he shakes his head before adding “Well I told Ange because I just thought it was important for her to update my details” he says as I know it can’t have come from Ange.

“Joe is probably just fishing; he knows that I have lived in the Apollo Tower so probably thinks that the first place I’d go is in with you,” he says as I nod and I don’t care that anybody knows that we’re housemates now but I don’t think I’m comfortable telling everybody here yet because I know it will only go to the next level.

Connor spends plenty of time with me before my shift but I tell him to go home and just enjoy my place on his own and explore around with my permission which I know that he probably would do anyway had I not given him the approval.

I head to the briefing room, almost dreading who I’m going to be put with and I hope that Eve is the sergeant on duty tonight but as the room fills up I notice that it’s Keith who is on tonight and that this isn’t going to be good for me with who I’m put with.

Unsurprisingly, I hear him say that I’m partnered up with Joe which makes me get all annoyed and want to just go home but I need to just keep my cool. Heading out to the car, I turn to Joe who is following me out “Any shit from you tonight and I don’t give a shit what happens but I’m not taking it alright, we both have a mutual hatred for each other so let’s keep it professional”.

I don’t know whether it’s the greatest idea to have said that to Joe but I’m not going to sit there and take any crap from him. I reach into my pocket and switch on the recorder that I put inside my shirt because I finally want him to get caught for what he says.

Heading out, Joe immediately takes us away from the area we are supposed to patrol as I look across at him “Aren’t we supposed to be patrolling around Hamilton Park?” I ask as he glares at me before reluctantly answering. “What are we going to be doing around there? Nothing happens; I want to go down to Belford where I know the pushers will be around” he says as I shrug and we head down there.

Joe is probably right on the fact that Belford would have more action but explaining why we were down there could be tricky business to any senior officers. 

We head down to one of the social housing estates where there is trouble and Joe parks the car and we just sit there as I look confused “What are we doing? Just parking here?” I ask as he groans.

“Fucking hell supercop, we’re making sure that everyone knows we are here because for every minute that we sit here they know that if they come out for whatever shit they wanna take then I will be there to get them,” Joe says with an attitude that tells me that there is something more personal to all this than being a cop.

I nod before regretfully saying something “This seems more personal to you than being just a good cop because we know that you struggle to do that, so what is this all about”. Joe turns and looks across at me angrily “This is being a good cop stopping drug dealers from pushing to kids and parents that should be focussing on raising their kids not drugs”.

Joe’s tone tells me there is something more personal to this than his agenda but then I just let it go and sit there for a few minutes which turns into a half-hour and then an hour. “You never answered my question earlier Ken or you Barbie?” Joe says to me as I turn and look at him acting confused by all this.

“You know Supercop, you and the fairy queen Jones,” he says to me as I look confused even more “Well you might be Barbie because we’ve all quickly worked out that you must be a homo too, spending all that time with him, letting him move in with you and well you spending all that time with that upset little darling at the station because someone said something means to him,” Joe says as it takes all of my inner strength not to throw a punch then and there but I know that it’s all recording so that I can give it to dad to see if he can do something with.

Before I can answer, a car pulls up not that far away from where we are parked and leaves its hazard lights on which Joe gets out to go and have a look at saying that this must be the dealer for the area and that he is going to do something. Strangely, I would’ve thought that he would want to come with me so that we can arrest whoever it is but he wants me to stay in the car which is weird. I tell him that I’ll get out of the car and just stand by the front of the car which he doesn’t want me to do but I do it after he leaves.

As he heads over, I make sure the lights are on and I quickly realise that this isn’t just any old stop to send a guy likely to be selling drugs because I see Joe putting on a non-police jacket as he heads to the car and gets into the front seat. I sit there and now feel a bit scared about what’s happening because I know that this is not above board but I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know what I should do as I get back into the car and sit there now panicking about what could potentially happen with all this although I know Joe won’t do anything because he will have plenty of questions to answer anyway. I stupidly get my phone out and send a text that I hope doesn’t put me into a hole of trouble.

11:46 pm: “Hey bro, not sure if you’re awake but need advice Joe has us off-area and I think that he is doing something dodgy”

11:55 pm Darcy: “What’s the matter bro? You ok?”

11:57 pm Darcy: “Just keep your cool, it could be absolutely nothing but if you need to call Dad”

12:01 am Me: “Yeah I know, but I don’t want to get things too much worse Joe has been at me all night and I’ve come up with a plan but I don’t know”

12:04 am Me: “Joe’s coming back now so just call me tomorrow alright”

The car has driven off and Joe comes back in and sits there “I think they got the message; it took longer than it should’ve but he’s gone” he says as I roll my eyes. Strangely, Joe drives back and seems to be a nice guy albeit not saying much to me.

The rest of the night shift is painless as we respond to a late-night crash and then have to pick up a drink driver to take back to the station. It’s just after 6 am before I can finally sign off and I’m exhausted by everything that went on last night.

I drive home taking a detour via Dad’s dropping the recorder into his mailbox before texting him because I just want to get home to bed knowing that I have just one more shift before I have two weeks of driving training.

I get into the house just as Connor is finishing getting ready for work as I kiss him “I’m so glad to see your face after last night” I say as he laughs at me. “Joe?” he asks as I just flop down onto the couch and let out a massive sigh.

Connor lifts my legs up and sits down on the couch and looks at me “Want to tell me what happened?” he says as I shrug knowing that he needs to be at work shortly. “I mean it isn’t that much really, was just typical Joe we went away from where we were supposed to be patrolling and went out to Belford”.

“Oh god, that… hope you didn’t get involved because it’s never going to be good with Joe and I’m pretty sure it’s dodgy” he says as I nod in agreement. Connor looks at the alarm on his apple watch going off and realises that he needs to get to work.

I text Dad to tell him that I left him the recorder so that he can hear everything that Joe said to me and potentially use it for anything in the future. Dad doesn’t reply until around lunchtime because he’s still on the Police Commission case right now.

Thankfully, the next day Joe has called in sick and I’m put on shift with one of the older officers that has been at the Junction for the past 15 years which is fine enough despite him being a pretty boring old stiff.

My two weeks of training are pushed back a fortnight which Ange tells me to just take the next week off because there is nothing that she can do about adding me onto the roster and changing it up which is a nice change of pace because the next few weeks are going to be tough.

I’ve got my birthday coming up and then two days after my birthday is the anniversary of Harry’s death which always makes the time coming up a tough time for me but with Connor here, I think that I can get through this.

It’s about a day or so later when Dad rings me about the recorder I left in his mailbox that he finally got around to listening.

Dad: “Hey Trent, I just got around to listening to that recording of your shift there was a lot to sift through”

Me: “Oh hi Dad, I don’t know why I did it but it’s probably stupid that I did it but after what happened with Connor I want to take control of this situation and I know that you would know what to do with it”

Dad: “Yeah I was listening to it all and it’s pretty infuriating in all honesty that he talks to you like that but I want you to fill me in on something that I think I’m missing”

Me: “What’s that about Dad?”

Dad: “Joe says Connor moved in with you? Is that true?”

Me: “It’s nothing like he’s making out ok, Connor lived at the Apollo Tower which has those cracking issues and his only option was moving into a seedy hotel room at Renwick for who knows how long so I told him to move in with me, he had nowhere else to go”

Dad: “Uh huh, that puts a bit of context into the situation and now I know what he means about it and guessing that you’re out now?”

Me: “Well I’ve never told anybody yet but if the rumours are there then I’m not going to deny it am I?”

Dad: “I guess not, that’s what has always made me proud of you Trent that you have never hidden who you are or told people to be themselves, like with that kid at the train station”

Me: “Thanks Dad, so what are you going to do with that?”

Dad: “I’ll keep it here and add it to the file because even though we’ve never been able to make anything stick on Joe, there is an open file that we can keep adding to and this helps”

Me: “I don’t know whether this is anything but that night we were supposed to be patrolling around Hamilton Park but Joe took us out to Belford and when we were there he told me that he was trying to move on a drug pusher and well he told me to wait in the car but he covered his uniform up and was over there for like 20 minutes”

Dad: “Great, did you say anything to him about it or anyone?”

Me: “Nah, I didn’t because I mean who am I going to tell at the station, It was Keith who was sergeant and Ange wasn’t there that day”

Dad: “Yeah she was at the regional meeting with me, look you can make it official but then there gets some awkward questions to you about why you didn’t step in and report it, I can make a note again from an anonymous source that he was spotted”

Me: “Thanks Dad, I talked to Darcy for advice just because I had no idea what to do about it all”

Dad: “You’ve done the right thing Trent remember that… but away from that how are things generally, I haven’t had a chance to talk to you since finding out about Connor moving in with you… are you two dating?”

Me: “Well sort of yeah?” 

I say expecting Dad to give me the lecture about how that means we can’t be working at the same station and everything to go with that although he surprises me.

Dad: “That’s fantastic news, I found out about it the other night when I had dinner at Jess’ the other night”

Me: “Yeah and I know who that came from and let’s just say that I need to have a talk to Logan about something”

Dad laughs as he tells me that he’s not going to be able to get to my birthday because the commission is holding another inquiry that he needs to be at and the preparation work for that is massive. Hanging up the phone, what I did with Joe seems right now because I know Dad will push the boundaries of what he can do to make sure that I don’t get caught up in any more hassle.

During the week off, it gives me a chance to head back to visit Tom and in particular Levi who is sitting in his room with headphones on when I get there. I walk up to his room and knock on the door before opening it and see him laying on his bed in a just a pair of Nike shorts.

“Hey, Levi,” I say as he realises I’m there and I notice a smile on his face as this is the first chance that I’ve had to see him since everything that happened. “Trent hey, how you doing?” he says as he comes in for a hug and he looks so much better than he did the only time that I’ve seen him.

“I’m doing really good, how are you doing more importantly,” I say to him as he shrugs and sits down on the bed. “I’m not doing too bad you know because I feel good being here and everyone is so friendly and helpful and Tom has let me spend time with my Tommy and he put in a process to make sure that my parents don’t go near his family”

I smile as he seems much better and things are going so much better for him and he’s feeling a lot more confident about himself. Walking downstairs to the common area, a couple of the others downstairs are happy to see me and I see Levi has made friends with them.

Heading into the little gym area that’s set up, I get ready to give the guys and girls interested a workout routine and I get plenty of jibes about not being there for so long but looking at the transformation of some of them, they don’t really need my supervision being there.

The workout between everyone is absolutely amazing to see a lot of these kids who lacked any sort of confidence through their various issues that have ranged from ending up homeless through no fault of their own, drug issues and other things like that which are all sad to see.

Finishing up about 2 hours later, I’m exhausted because even though I know that I’m fit and everything, dealing with 10 young adults is exhausting because each one wants to try and beat me and I know that I can’t let them.

I head back upstairs with Levi as I want to talk to him a bit further and get a sense of what he wants to do with his parents. “So have you thought about anything with your parents and are they hanging around the school again?” I ask as he nods to me looking upset.

“Yeah, they are hanging around out the front trying to find me and I don’t know how long it can be before they get me,” he says as he looks concerned about everything as I talk to him and reassure him that I can do everything that I can. We don’t get to talk too much longer because he has to have a meeting with his counsellor and I head downstairs to get in with Tom.

“Fuck those kids are getting strong now,” I say still store after being pushed by everything as I sit there and have a look at things. “How are you doing Tom?” I ask as he gives everything for this place because Tom had his own dramas when he was growing up and wanted to create a safe space for people in the same situation he was in and never takes a break.

“Doing alright, my best mate is getting married in Fiji in a couple of weeks and asked me to be best man but I don’t know if I can leave this place?” he says as I just look at him. “You’ve been here from what I’ve learnt every day and don’t give back to yourself, take this time to relax for a change, everyone here can work and I know Connor and I can check in plus there are so many people here”.

Tom reluctantly nods and agrees with me as we finish talking for a little while longer before I head off and head to the station which raises some eyebrows as I head up to Ange’s office and knock on the door.

“Come in,” she says as I wander in and she looks surprised that I’m here on my day off as she smiles and sees me “Well you’re the last person that I expected to see today, what can I do for you Trenty,” she says with affection. “I came for some advice about what to do because I’ve still been talking to Levi after everything because I thought he needed a friendly face still but he’s having issues with his parents essentially turning up on his boyfriend’s doorstep and harassing them and then waiting for him outside the school”.

Ange sits there and nods as I go through the details “Well there are a few options we can take but Levi needs to come in and give a statement and probably anyone that they are harassing too, I’m busy but I can take the lead on this because there are only a few people I can trust with a situation like this” she says as she smiles and tells me to get Levi to come and see her at some point this week.

I leave the office and head home getting home just before Connor does and it’s only a matter of minutes difference as I’m already starting to cook dinner. “Sup sexy,” he says coming into me as I’ve just started cooking as he kisses my neck.

“What are you up to?” he says to me as if it isn’t obvious right now that I’m standing over the stove cooking dinner. “Really, you need to ask that?” I say as he laughs and smells the food and looks surprised that I can cook.

“You cook?” he asks me as I nod at him “Why do you think I like cooking shows so much?” I say as Connor laughs and takes off his shirt which is sweat-soaked by as he grabs a bottle of mineral water out of the fridge and sits down on the couch.

“How was your day?” I ask as he just looks at me as I think that he had a bad day “Oh like that?” I say as he nods before getting up and changing out of his pants into a pair of shorts. “So what was it Joe again?” I ask as he shakes his head.

“Nah nothing like that, I was with Jamie but was just non-stop call outs we had to deal with an incident at the Belford Hotel where there was a woman who couldn’t understand the word leave so we had to take her back to the station because she kicked out at Jamie and got him in the nuts,” he says as I laugh remembering that’s not the first time Jamie’s been hit there on duty.

“That was fine, deal with her and the paperwork go back out onto duty and it’s only 10 minutes later and we’re back there again because her sister started about how unfair she was treated and how there was some conspiracy because they aren’t in a cult and blah blah blah,” he says as I laugh and keep cooking dinner for the two of us as he talks me through the rest of his day which feels nice having somebody to cook for and talk to at the end of the day.

Connor goes and has a shower before I finish cooking dinner making sure everything is perfect because this has been the first proper chance that I’ve had to make him dinner considering that we’ve been at the pub a few times, had our date night and then just been on separate shifts so this is the first time we’ve had together.

I put the food down on the table as he comes downstairs wearing a black singlet top and shorts which are nice and tight and give me a good look at the bulge he packs especially when it’s the only thing that he wears down there.

Connor looks at the plate and again is surprised that I can cook as he finally takes a taste of my Chicken Curry which I don’t know how he feels about it but I know that he likes hot food especially after we went to the Thai restaurant. “Holy shit this is good,” he says as I smile and he gets into it as I sit there watching him eat everything on his plate which is great.

“Well, I mean I know who’s the chef out of us now,” he says walking over and helping himself to more as I smile considering that Harry was the one who planned all the food between us as it makes me feel good and loved that Connor is enjoying it.

After dinner, Connor and I sit together when he realises what the time is and says that he has to go and have a video chat with Chase which he turns and looks at me. “Do you wanna meet Chase?” he says to me as I look surprised about that because this is a pretty serious move considering.

“Wait, you want me to meet Chase? I mean isn’t it a bit awkward?” I ask as Connor looks at me confused in why I wouldn’t want to meet Chase. “Nah, I mean I’ve told him all about you being my friend and the person that I lived with and he’s keen to meet you,” he says as I still feel uncertain to meet him but now that it means the world to Connor so I agree.

Connor connects through with Olivia on his laptop and they talk, I can tell that they are just strangers to each other with no real friendship as he introduces me as his friend from work that she’s heard about. “Hey how’s it going?” she says as we explain pleasantries before she calls Chase over.

Chase has a wide beaming smile when he sees Connor “Daddy” he says excitedly as despite the thousands of kilometres of distance between them they are really close. They talk about School and what Chase calls footy when he means AFL and how training is going and everything.

“Remember when I told you that I was moving in with my best friend because there was a problem with my apartment well do you want to meet Trent?” he asks as Chase smiles and nods as he turns the camera so that Chase can see me as I sit there.

“Hey mate, how are you?” Chase looks excited to see me, I have no idea whether Chase is going to like me or not as I sit there and as Chase smiles “I’m good thanks” he says rather shyly as I smile and laugh. “So do you want to talk to Trent?” Chase is all coy about talking to me as Connor takes back over.

I give the two of them some space before Connor calls me back to talk to Chase who feels a bit more comfortable “It’s nice to meet you, Trent, Daddy says you’re a policeman too?” I sit there and nod and tell him about my brother and Dad being a policeman too.

“Do you want to be a policeman too?” I ask Chase as Connor shakes his head out of the screen “I want to be a footy player and a fireman” Chase says as our little chat goes well as I talk to him and find out that he is really into Spiderman like Logan is and although I don’t tell him about Logan, I think they would get along.

Chase has to go as Connor talks to Olivia about them coming back over which she is open to and then they end the chat. I wander back in and smile as Connor looks happy “Chase is an awesome kid isn’t he” I say as he nods and looks at me.

“I know that wasn’t Logan-like levels of love towards me with Chase but he liked you,” Connor says as I kiss him and hug him so appreciative that he brought me further into his life with Chase. I don’t know how he introduced the fact that we are living together but anyway means a lot to me.

Heading to bed after a while, Connor gets into bed with me and looks at me “Thanks for meeting Chase today, you’re both so important to me both and wanted you to meet” he says as I realise how serious things are between us which I enjoy and honestly I’m so appreciative of him welcoming me into in his inner circle.

“I think I’m the one who should be so thankful because I know how important Chase is and for me to meet him is just amazing,” I say as we cuddle into each other as he looks at me. “I think we’re both important to each other” he says as we kiss and settle in for the night.