Beyond The Blue

The New Recruits

It’s close enough to 4 am and I’m laying in bed asleep when I start to hear footsteps downstairs and then something smashing as my cop instincts tell me something is wrong thinking that someone is trying to break in. I get straight out of bed, it’s dark in the bedroom so I head out not even realising that Connor isn’t in bed trying to grab something in case there is somebody downstairs as I head down there.

Getting down there, Connor and I frighten each other “Fucking hell Trent” he says as I jump in total fright as well. “Bloody hell, I didn’t even hear you get out of bed,” I say as he is sweeping up a glass that he knocked off the bench I realise that he is worried about something as I look at him.

“Everything ok?” I say sitting down at the table as Connor sweeps up the broken glass on the floor. “Yeah, I just knocked over the glass,” he says as I look at him knowing that something is up other than just the glass breaking because Connor never goes downstairs during the night because he always brings up a bottle of water to the bedroom.

I look across at him “What is really going on?” I ask as he looks at me and just lets out a long sigh “I don’t know, I couldn’t sleep just thinking about what your Mum asked this afternoon” he says to me as I sit there wanting him to elaborate.

“Which question?” I ask worried about the question whether it’s the one about being engaged and whether he’s having doubts. “I mean you don’t really need to listen to Mum, the amount of times none of us have,” I say laughing as Connor smiles and laughs a little bit.

Sighing he finally answers “It’s hard to describe, I mean there are so many things to think about and I don’t know whether I want to deal with that again, I know I love being with you and Steph but it’s not gonna be the same without Jamie and..” Connor says starting to cry as I hug him and look at him.

“Whatever your choice is going to be, you’re not going to be letting anybody down and come on it was only weeks ago that I was sitting next to you when they were telling me that you were as much chance of not getting through the night as you were to get through” I let out my emotions now about that night which I haven’t really opened to Connor about.

Connor finishes sweeping up the broken glass as I sit at the table “Do you want to talk about it?” I ask as I don’t know what to think about how is feeling. “I don’t know how to feel if that sounds weird,” he says as I just nod knowing how he feels because that was how I’ve felt so many times about firstly him

“Nope that’s totally normal and for days on end, I never knew how to feel about everything when I thought I was going lose you again,” I say as we both weren’t expecting to have a deep conversation at 4 am like this. “Those days left me in such a hole because I was so worried that I was going to lose you and I’d been in such a hole since Harry left and having you filled it and if I ended up losing you I thought that was going to be it for me without you I didn’t know what I could do anymore and then blaming myself,” I say as Connor puts his arm over my shoulders and kisses me on the cheek.

“I couldn’t imagine how it would feel to go through all that again, especially after Harry” Connor says to me as I feel like I’ve made him feel worse about things given what I just said. “I just wish things were easier you know, I love being a cop and making a difference out there and Chase adores me being a cop, but after everything that happened I don’t know if I can risk you losing it all or just Chase growing up without me,” he says as he sits down across from me as I nod understanding where all this is coming from.

I think about the words that are about to come out of my mouth because I don’t want it to sound wrong “Look, maybe this is how it was meant to be, because look at what has happened to us with all this, I mean we wouldn’t have the gym, we wouldn’t be able to get that going and most importantly, we would be engaged either right?” I say as Connor has his smile.

“Guess not and tbh I think this has probably helped me with a lot of things to take control of them especially about trying to get to spend more time with Chase other than just holidays and whatnot and have him come here a bit more,” he says which makes me smile. “See that’s good and like I’ve said, there is no rush about you having to come back to work because you need to be happy and ready and that will take so much time,” I say as he nods and smiles.

“I know that, but it’s just hard to think about with everything and just feels like I’d be letting everybody down that has been here for me like you, Steph, Ange, your Dad and most of all I’d be letting Jamie down,” he says as he wipes the tears away from your eyes. “You would never be letting anybody down and the only way that you would is if you give up being yourself and that doesn’t mean being a cop, that means being the guy who is there for anyone who needs cheering up or just the amazing kind person that we all love,” I say getting up and hug him tightly as he hugs me back.

“Do you wanna come back up to bed?” I ask as Connor shakes his head. “Nah, I’m alright I’m not gonna be able to sleep anyway and you’ve got work in the morning so I might just stay down here for a while,” he says as I kiss him deeply.

Kissing him deeply I put my arms over his shoulders “Remember, nobody will be upset or disappointed in whatever you do and that you don’t need to worry about it until it’s time” I say as he smiles and tells me that he loves me as I head up to bed.

Heading back to bed, I don’t really sleep that much, worried about Connor and what he’s been thinking feeling both guilty that I haven’t asked him about things because I didn’t want to be that nag and then annoyed at myself for not doing it. Laying there, I’m also annoyed at Mum for even asking that question which set this all off.

I finally just get to sleep only about two hours before my alarm goes off and as much I wish I didn’t have to get up, I need to get up and get ready to work. Connor still hasn’t come up to bed and I head downstairs to see him curled up on the couch sleeping which makes me smile at how peaceful he looks but at the same time, I just feel so bad because I think that he is still battling so much right now.

Heading back up to have a shower, I make sure that I’m quiet up there as I want to make sure Connor gets as much sleep as possible because I know that even before all this his mind plays tricks on him and he loses sleep easily. Heading downstairs after my shower, I’m still shirtless as I check on Connor who wakes up when I put another blanket over him “Morning, just go back to sleep” I say as he tries to get up again.

“How much sleep did you actually get?” I ask as Connor picks up his watch off the coffee table and has a look “Probably only an hour at most” he says as I head to the kitchen to make us both coffee although I don’t know if that is what you call his morning concoction.

Bringing it across to him, I stand there “Just relax today, we don’t need to worry about anything until I’m home from work and just go upstairs and have a sleep or something ok?”

Connor reluctantly nods as I finish my breakfast on the run as I kiss him and head off to work and sit in the car just trying to think of a way that I could actually fix everything for Connor even though I know that I can’t.

Getting into work, I pull up at the same time as Steph who waves to me and then comes up closer “You look awful” she says to me as I’m clearly exhausted. “Jeez, thanks for the compliments,” I say as Steph puts her arm around me and smiles. “Well, you two need to pace yourselves now that you’re engaged,” Steph says smirking as she grabs my hand to have a look at my engagement ring.

“I wish it was like that but we didn’t exactly have a great night last night,” I say as Steph has a grimace on her face “Wait, did something happen between you two? I thought…” she says as I put my hand up to stop her.

“Oh nah, nothing fight just had Connor had a rough night that’s all,” I say to Steph as we put our bags into the locker rooms and then head out to the garden and sit down right next to where there is a plaque for Jamie there. “What happened yesterday or last night? I thought he was doing ok?” Steph asks as I nod as Ange comes out to try and sneak a smoke.

“Should’ve known you two would be here right now” Ange says as she laughs and neither of us minds that she has a smoke as she finds a spot just away from us so that we don’t cop the smoke. “Congrats on the engagement Trent,” she says as I smile and she looks across at me “You alright, look like you’ve barely slept” I nod as she says that.

“Yeah, Connor had a bad night last night because I think everything is starting to hit him you know because Mum came around yesterday afternoon and just talked about everything and she asked him about whether he was going to go back to work and I think that’s what set him off,” I say as Steph and Ange both nod as I try to reflect on whether I’ve done the right thing by him at all.

“I think her asking him made him reflect on everything and he did look surprised and a bit worried about everything, he was saying that by not being able to come back that he would be letting us all down including you Ange and most importantly he’d be letting Jamie down,” I say as they both look at me almost angered by that although understanding what Connor is thinking.

Both of them go to speak at the same time as I know what they are going to say “I know, I told him that there is nothing that he can do that would ever be letting us down other than stop being the guy we all love” I say as they both nod in agreement with me.

“Exactly, the only thing that would disappoint us is Connor giving up and stops doing whatever he wants and if he decides that he doesn’t want to be a cop anymore, then we’re more than ok with that because he is our friend,” Steph says as I nod “Plus he has plenty to think about going forward with mostly his health, but he wants to be there for Chase so that has to be his focus”.

Ange nods in agreement as she finishes her cigarette and goes to head back inside “We’ve got 5 newbies starting today, so I gotta get back in there and show them the ropes… you two alright if I give you one each?” she asks as we nod.

Since the whole PIU investigation happened, the Junction has been working with barely enough officers with a few being suspended for corruption and other infractions, and eight elected to retire or transfer to other areas leaving a massive gap in the squad right now.

“What are they like?” Steph asks as Ange stops to talk to us “We’ve got a good mix, 3 new guys and 2 new girls so I’ll put them with you guys and then I have to think who I want them to go with? Any ideas?” she asks taking our advice as we both shrug about who would be good and Ange makes a crack at us as she heads in.

We both sit there still having a few minutes before we have to go in “Am I wrong for not wanting to push Connor into talking about things? I have just wanted to give him space and be the escape from everything for him but maybe I’m not doing it right?” I say trying to get Steph’s advice because she’s known Connor for so much longer than me.

“I don’t know what the right answer is because you know Connor so much better than what I do because you get the sense of things living with him but I mean you probably got tired of people asking you how you were doing with Harry right?” I nod as she asks that “Exactly, he knows that he can open up to you when he needs to and everywhere he goes with other friends, family and with his counselling, there are just going to be constant questions about are you ok”.

Steph’s point is exactly what I said to Mum about why I haven’t continued to ask him if he’s ok or continually check because I don’t want to nag him to the point where he thinks that is all I care about. “Yeah, that’s exactly why I didn’t want to ask him but Mum made me feel guilty about it and now I don’t know what’s right or wrong,” I say standing up and sighing loudly.

“Forget what everybody else thinks right now, you live with Connor and know how he operates and can sense when something is up, that’s when you will ask him and deal with the situation as it comes like you would have this morning right?” she says as I smile and hug her as we head back inside.

I wander back inside and head back to the locker room where I run into a young guy rushing trying to completely change his clothes with wet slicked back hair like he’s just been swimming and still trying to get dressed as his towel drops and his extremely smooth body is on show. “Shit sorry… I got lost getting here and I’m running late” he says putting on his pink briefs and then his uniform before running to the inspector’s office.

I grab what I need and head out of the locker room into the briefing room where I sit down next to Steph as we comment on the new recruits as they come in and Ange starts to brief us all.

“Good morning everyone, and a big welcome to our new faces both those of you having your first shift as a police officer and those here from other places; Before we get started I want to introduce our new recruits, Ally Mitchell, Charlotte Wong, Henry Beaumont, Jerome Lang and Branko Kovacic”.

Ange goes through the recruits' names “Kovacic you’ll be with Trent and you two will just be on foot patrol to try and get to know the area better” she says as I nod and quickly realise that Branko is the same guy that I got to see all of in the locker room.

Waiting for the new recruits, Branko is the last one to come out and I have a smirk on my face as he quickly realises who I am and looks embarrassed about what happened before. “About earlier…” he says as I just shake my head to tell him not to worry.

“Don’t worry about it, even the best of us have had shocking moments in our first few days” I say to him as I introduce myself to him. “I’m Trent,” I say putting my hand out as he shakes it and we head out of the station.

We head out of the station and head down towards the train station just to patrol as I try to get to know Branko a lot better. “How long have you been a cop for Trent?” he asks me as I can sense that he is really nervous and I can tell that it is more than just first-day nerves because I think he is worried that after our run in this morning that he is worried about.

“I’m getting close to 12 months in the force, but been around cops all my life with my Dad and Brother both cops as well and before his retirement, my grandfather was as well so I don’t think there was any other option,” I say as he smiles and nods, not sure if he really cares about it but I’m trying to make his first day better than mine.

I don’t get the sense that Branko is necessarily a quiet person given how flirty and loud he was with the other new recruits before coming into the briefing room. “What about you? How come you became a cop?” I ask as he isn’t really sure how to answer me because I think this morning made him feel nervous that he doesn’t know how to react.

“Well… I think it was just that sense of ability to help people that needed help” he says to me as I nod understanding where he is coming from. “I lived in Europe for a little while, working around different bars and whatnot because my family is Croatian so I wanted to stay with family and on coming back, I was never fully academic but just wanted to do something where I wanted to be with people outdoors and helping,” he says as I try to relax him down and calm the nerves.

“You don’t need to be too nervous around me, I know that we had a moment this morning but I can guarantee you that your first week isn’t going to be anything worse than how I had to deal with things,” I say to him remembering my first week with Joe as Branko looks across at me curious about what happened.

I stand there nodding “Yep, my first day I nearly got into a fistfight with the fuckwit that I was partnered with because he had an issue with my dad in the past so kept treating me like shit… plus a few days later I was up in the gym and just finished in a shower and walked straight into another guy almost pulling his towel down,” I say as Branko laughs.

“That was all your first week?” he says as I nod and he laughs starting to relax a lot more about things as we start patrolling around the Train station which is always going to have a few interesting people hanging on. “Yep, that was all in my first week although on the plus side of that week I did meet my fiancé,” I say with a laugh.

Branko smiles “Oh is that the girl Charlotte is with today?” he asks as I take a minute to work out that he meant Steph “Oh, you mean Steph? Nah, she’s already married with kids and we’re just friends anyway” I say not letting on that I’m engaged to a guy yet because I don’t know if Branko will be too open-minded yet.

We wander around for a little while as I get Branko used to the area because he doesn’t know it well growing up about 40km south of the city and spending the last 3 years travelling around Europe means what he did know changed significantly between then and now.

Spending time at the station is pretty easy, even though all we need to do is just be there to ensure nothing really happens other than a few quiet words with people who aren’t doing anything majorly wrong but just not following restrictions such as riding their bike or scooter across the concourse and little things like that.

We spend about an hour and a half there before heading to the shopping centre to do a patrol around there which lets me get a coffee while Branko gets himself a juice as I check him out a lot realising how hot he actually is especially after seeing him naked. I get out my phone and text Connor to see how he is.

10:17 am “Hey babe, how are you feeling this morning?”

Connor must have been sitting on his phone because the reply comes almost instantly as I sit at one of the tables taking a quick break off my feet.

Connor: “👍, just needed a good night's sleep and a talk to Chase 😊”

I smile as he seems much better right now as Branko is waiting for his juice order to come as I decide to ring Connor.

Me: “Hey, I had a few minutes so wanted to know how it went talking to Chase this morning”

Connor: “Yeah good, I text Olivia to see if it would be ok because I know that she would be rushing with him but she said he was in a mood and wouldn’t do anything and hoped that I would get him moving”

Me: “Well it worked for both of you then”

Connor: “Yeah it did, just what we needed? Quiet morning at your end then I’m guessing if you’re ringing me right now”

Me: “Yeah, we’ve got all the newbies starting today so I’m with an interesting guy Branko, really nice and probably the second hottest man I’ll see today”

Connor: “Oh sweet, well hope you don’t make him want to get into a fight like you did with Joe”

Me: “I don’t think anybody is going to have a week like that although I’ve got a story for you when I get home though…”

Connor: “You should try and bring them to the pub sometime, we can have a proper get-together and introduce everybody you know”

Me: “Yeah, I’ll see how it is and text Steph to see if she wants to invite the rest of them”

Connor: “Perfect, let me know when and where and we can do it”

I get off the phone with Connor as Branko comes back and sits down “Was everything ok there?” he asks as I nod. “Yeah, I was just ringing my fiancé because he had a bad night last night and just wanted to check on him,” I say not even realising that I just said he.

“Oh that’s cool, I’ve been worried that you’re gonna say that I’ve been pretty bad on my first day, to be honest… like most of my other jobs,” Branko says with a laugh and even though we’re only 2 hours in he’s already been quite patient.

“Nah, you’ve actually been pretty good this morning, looked like you’ve been doing this job for years,” I say as he smiles and gets a strong confidence boost. “Look, about this morning,” he says trying to go back to our run-in at the locker room.

I smile “You don’t need to worry about that, I’ve told you that so many times alright,” I say trying to relax him down as we just sit there for a while as I try to get to know Branko a lot better. “So what sort of work did you do in Europe?” I ask as Branko laughs about that.

“Honestly, I did a bit of everything you know from working on a tour bus, worked in a Croatian supermarket, bar work, worked in a hotel… was a stripper at a bar in Amsterdam,” he says as I realise that he is pretty much a wild child at heart.

I nod along to his story as he has a smile on his face “There is more but I don’t think anyone needs to know really because it’s not as exciting as the rest of things that I’ve done but chances are I’ve probably done it” he says as I realise that Branko is going to be one that we have to keep our eye on, not because he is going to be a bad cop but just wild and gonna need some boundaries put on him.

“Attention JN 576, requests of police presence on Level 3 at SuperMart Outlet Store in the Central Plaza” 

“Hey, stripper cop,” I say winking at Branko to make sure that he knows that I’m only joking with him “We’ve got a job upstairs,” I say as we get there in a matter of minutes as there is a couple that were trying to take an eye-raising amount of stuff out of the store without paying for it.

“I’m Constable Hannan, this is probationary Constable Kovacic,” I say introducing Branko who suddenly looks a bit nervous actually dealing with his first proper incident but I give him the opportunity to lead what is going on.

He wanders over “So what’s happening today? Any particular reason you were trying to leave?” he says as I worry about his brash tone but have to let him go. “It’s all just a mix-up, we’re on holiday and we can’t check into the hotel so just carrying our stuff around,” the woman says as Branko rolls his eyes.

“So you didn’t think to leave your bag at the hotel because every major hotel chain lets you store your bag even if you cannot check-in,” he says as the store security are still unpacking their bags with all the wonders stolen. “Where’s the baby?” I ask as I notice plenty of baby clothes in their bag being unpacked still with security tags on them. They are still trying to deny that there is nothing going on with all this as Branko has finally come into his element.

Their attitude changes once their bags are finally emptied and the clothes are just covering up some higher-end electronic thefts which are quickly discovered and they start their silence. “Branko, can you call this in so that we can get a car down to pick them up?” I say as Branko starts to radio through.

“Hey, this is Constable Kovacic” I look at him as he realises “Oh… JN 768 to JN 1, requesting a car at Central Plaza level 3, outside SuperMart to return two suspects back to the station for questioning in regards to shoplifting”. Branko’s call is really nervous and static but I remember mine being the same at times especially when you’re the one having to initiate the call.

The car comes and picks up the suspects as two of the detectives arrive because they believe that the two that we caught were a part of a bigger shoplifting ring that have been evading the authorities for well over 12 months so any lead is a good one. Branko and I then do the donkey work for the higher powers going around shop to shop to see if anywhere else was hit which it doesn’t look like it was today as we continue to work together really well.

We finally get a chance close to the end of our shift to sit down “So I’ve got some questions I need to ask you” I say to Branko who has fully come out of his shell now. “I know what it’s gonna be about, it’s my work as a stripper isn’t it?” he says as I just nod and he rolls his eyes as I can tell he can regret that he even mentioned it.

“Ok, tell me everything about it and how you got into it,” I ask as he laughs and just shrugs “I mean, it was a job advertising bar work at first and I was happy to do it but I didn’t realise it was a gay bar although it really didn’t bother me and after a few days the manager asked if I wanted some extra cash so I was never going to say no,” he says as I nod and realise that there are no boundaries to Branko at all.

We spend the rest of the afternoon back down at the station just making sure everyone is doing the right thing and for the most part, they are which is good before I remember about what Connor asked me earlier to invite the newbies in for a drink “Hey, you wanna come for a drink this afternoon? It’ll be you my fiancé and I, Steph and hopefully some of you newbies as well, just to say welcome and get to know you” I ask Branko who nods and wouldn’t turn down a pub session.

“Anywhere good?” he asks as I tell him about the Empire “Oh sweet, yeah know it well it’s just down the road from my partner's place so I’ll be there if it’s cool I bring them as well” which I nod and get excited to meet his girlfriend.

Me: 4:37 pm: “Hey, did Connor text you about the pub tonight?”

Steph: 👍, Yep, think they’re all coming, Brad and the kids are coming as well if that’s cool so he said he was trying to get the big room for us all. Charlotte is bringing her boyfriend and I don’t know about the others fully”.

We head back to the station and Branko just changes his pants and shorts as I change my shirt and tell him that we’ll meet them all at the pub at around 6:30-7ish.

Heading home, Connor looks much better than he did this morning as he decided to go with the open shirt look that is both open and tight at the same time as I kiss him and put my arms around him.

“You look absolutely amazing tonight,” I say as he smiles and takes my shirt off me as I start to get undressed to go have a shower as Connor follows me up and sits on the toilet lid down as I get naked and get in.

“So tell me about your day and these crop of newbies we’ve got,” Connor says as I smirk and get ready to tell him about my day and how I ran into Branko completely naked on our first meeting.