The Start

This is who we are

From the Author:

I would like to thank Eddie again for commenting on the last chapter. On a personal note: I do not encourage, promote, or subscribe to the behavior depicted by two of the main caricatures. I do though feel some of the topics need to be discussed and we need to better understand what drives kids to such measures.

Niki’s POV:

After lunch, the final track was laid down and Dean lost his voice completely. He refused to hold back; it wasn’t how he was made. It seemed beyond humbling for him. He wanted to visit and it pissed him off so bad that he spoke in squeaks or just empty air. It was getting late in the day, cars showed up, the Sony guys and vans had left, and the group got smaller with all waiting until words had been shared with Dean.

I watched as Stevie walked with Miss Warwick and Dean was in the middle. This moment needed to be saved and I zoomed in.

“I know you’re there. I can smell you, pretty girl. Cinnabar; not an expensive perfume but used modestly the smell is so rich. Can an old black man get a hug?” I walked over and he enveloped me in his arms and started swaying back and forth.

“You’re softer than I thought you’d be. Please don’t let anything happen to him.” And he kissed my cheek and his PA led him to the car.

I watched Dean with Sir Elton sitting on a bench and I took even more pictures. Richard just hugged him, said something in his ear, and walked away.

Now it was Barry, his wife, and us. Barry wanted me and Dean to stay another night and I told him the Sony jet had been idling on the ground all day. We needed to get back. I would have loved to stay another night if for no other reason than Dean could rest; but no.

Jeff’s POV.

I walked around the house, looking. We had to have something. What was I thinking? I opened the door to my mom's craft room and saw the jar full of crochet hooks. I took the jar and walked back to my room locking the door. I removed all my clothes and held little Jeff in my hand then looked at the hooks.

They were of varying sizes and I picked up the smallest. I put a drop of lube in my puffy and swollen piss slit then ran the thin metal across it smoothing the shiny object. I shook my head no then rested the end at the top of my dick and pushed a little. It surprised me that I only felt a slight sting until only the hook remained. It had to be seven inches.

I pulled it out feeling sick and proud at the same time. I looked at the jar again and picked a larger one. It wasn’t as big as a pencil and was tapered at the bottom. I did as I had before and rested it at the tip of my now steel hard shaft and pushed. It was like my cock was hungry for it. I stopped pushing at about four inches and my dick sucked it in until only the hook remained. It was amazing to watch.

I pushed a little more and it disappeared. I finger walked down my shaft and felt it. I felt the end in my ball sack and pushed on it only to watch it pop from my slit and start sliding all by its self. I pulled it out and looked at the jar again.

I wondered as I held it. ‘Why would anyone need such large crochet hooks?’ It was as big as a pencil but it was rounded on the bottom like the others. I pumped more lube into my dick and had to really push before it slowly receded into my shaft that was as hard as it had ever been. I watched it travel under the skin down my length.

It stung; stung a lot, but I was determined. Don’t ask me why. I wondered about the color; why purple of all colors? I twisted and moved it around as it made its way down my shaft and when just the hook remained I rested. It really hurt but was bearable; I deserved it for what I was doing to my self. It felt hard under the skin as I ran my fingers over my shaft. This was wrong.

I pinched the hook in my fingers and started to pull; it came out so easy. ‘This has to end.’ I stopped then pushed until it disappeared with the same ease. I did it again. I pulled it all the way out and my swollen piss slit was open. ‘Stop now, Jeff.’ I dropped more lube in and watched that purple hook disappear once again.

I don’t know what it is about size but all I wanted was to find something bigger that I could ram down my dick and cum like Max made me cum. I couldn’t believe I was doing this and I pulled and pushed the thing until I threw my hands in the air and that purple hook launched from me like a cannon propelled by my streams of cum that went everywhere. I called out Deans’ name and moaned from the pain.

I lay there till three in the morning. I called Dean.

“What up beautiful boy,” she answered making me smile.

“I really need to talk to him, Niki. Niki; are you there?” I asked.

“Jeff. I don’t know what’s going on. We were coming home and had to land in Missouri. Dean’s in the hospital. They haven’t told me what’s wrong yet. Can I do anything for you, Hun?”

I felt like the biggest pile of shit. Rick had said he was singing with Elton John but I didn’t know about Florida. “Don’t worry, Jeffery, he’s going to be fine.”

Rick’s POV.

When I walked into Max’s room and saw that thing on his bed I felt a slap upside my head for not understanding. I knew exactly what it was and what it was used for.

I’d talked with a buddy a year ago and he told me never to do that. “Not even once Rick. It will be the only thing you ever think about. It’s a lot easier to say no to something before you ever do it than after. Trust me.”

When we first moved here I comforted Max with extra attention, brotherly attention, because he missed the buddy he left behind. Max loved Brice but we never talked about that.

I looked at him in the shower and counted the thin one inch scars on his cream-colored skin. They weren’t bad and looked like he had walked through blackberries without clothes. He had them everywhere. I wanted to cry looking at my little brother knowing they were self-inflicted; or most of them.

Max had opened his eyes never noticing me or expecting anyone. It hurt my heart as he milked his cock like after you cum but little drops of blood were pushed from his big dick. I felt doubly sorry. I’d let him down. I was so wrapped up in my own shit that I lost sight of my baby brother; don’t ever do that.

I had looked at his phone and listened to the message left by Jeff. Just his voice: I wanted to fuck Jeff so bad but that’s not what I was thinking as I took my clothes off and joined my brother in the shower wondering if he had fucked Jeff.

“I’m so sorry, Maximus.” I started. His name fits him. I wanted to hold him to ensure I was speaking the truth but, I would have held anyone to make myself feel better.

I sat in front of him not expecting him to do what he did while I gathered my thoughts. It wasn’t my intent. “I can suck your dick better than you,” he told me with no time to respond. And my brother went down on me with amazing accuracy.

“Max” I squeaked out as I opened my legs so he could gain unrestricted access. “Max” came out again in a strong intake of air as he swallowed around me. This was wrong on so… many levels and I knew it. Max did too. This could never ever happen again.

I came holding his head down and unloaded thinking about Dean as my brother swallowed my city of unborn Ricks. I pulled him off my sensitive organ and kissed him hard wanting to taste myself on Dean’s lips but he had swallowed everything. I felt cheated.

“Told you,” He said when I released his lips.

Max’s POV.

I opened my eyes as Rick closed the door. I wasn’t asleep. I felt him push some hair from my forehead and I heard him say, ‘oh Maximus.’

I looked at the ceiling thinking about Jeff, what happened, and what he said to me. I was feeling like shit because I had lost my only friend. Jeff wasn’t a buddy and my buddies weren’t friends. I so wished I could go back to yesterday.

I reached for the drawer next to me and pulled my latest purchase out with some lube. I had cum cutting Jeff and toying with his dick. I was hoping for him to return the favor with something; anything. I guess I’d have to take care of myself. I admired it in all its shininess. This one was the biggest. What is it about size?

I was hard in anticipation of my fix and as one hand moved with the lube the other pulled at my mushroom spreading my slit open and I pumped in a squirt. This rod was longer, the balls bigger, and they were loose. You could move them around.

I thought about Jeff and wondered if he would hate me. I pushed it into my swollen cock and fed the balls in randomly until I pushed the last of it in and watched my dick swallow it. It’s always a scary feeling. I rolled the balls up and down my shaft and felt the end of the rod in my sack. I went at it. I wondered if I was punishing or pleasuring myself. In the end, only one would win.

I greased my shaft and went to town rolling the balls up and down as my hand did the same. I would push on my balls and watch the shiny tip pop from the end of my dick then I’d push it back in. I could feel my cock softening and I pulled and pushed that rod trying to get off before whatever was cock blocking me, succeeded.

I was hurting myself as I begged the shiny stick to let me cum. My eyes were closed as I rammed that thing into my now flaccid shaft and when I looked down in defeat and pulled back; the rod and balls had a red tint. I didn’t cum.

This fuckin sucked. After a few minutes, I called Jeff thinking it was my guilt that stole my erection and orgasm. Had he answered I really don’t know what I’d have said to him. I was sad and relieved when it went to voice mail. I didn’t leave a message. I probably would have begged him to help me or I would have begged him to forgive me; both I clearly needed desperately.

I dropped my torture tool on the bed along with my phone and walked into the shower. This really was the best house. It had five master bedrooms all with an on-suite. Our parents were professionals and Rick and I wanted for nothing always living in the biggest house.

I don’t know how long I had been sitting on the floor in the shower when I opened my eyes and saw Rick sitting Indian style on the other side of the glass looking at me. I didn’t need to see him looking at me like that. I watched my brother stand and take off all his clothes and then he was sitting across from me on the shower floor.

“Did he hurt you?” He asked me. I couldn’t answer him.

I remembered back when Rick and I were closer. We really hadn’t been since we moved here and I missed him.

“If he hurt you I will kill him.” He started again. “I love you Max and I will never let anyone hurt you; I promise.” And he rested his hands on my knees only inches from my aching and lifeless pole.

I looked at my brother across from me; we’re only sixteen months apart. I realized he had turned into something I never noticed. It is weird when you see your brother on TV, and I knew about the other stuff. I suddenly had the urge to suck his cock. I wanted to swallow it whole and get my reward at the end and I moved forward to claim my prize. Rick put up a fuss but never did anything to make me stop.

With my eyes closed all I saw was Jeff and this was his ‘I’m sorry’ blowjob. I’d come to realize that I was honestly sorry about what happened. The truth is I was sorry for what I did and wished I could take it back. I chocked myself on my brother’s cock as he came down my throat.

Dean’s POV.

In-no-way did I feel violated; just the opposite. The last thing I would ever want is for sweet little Niki to feel she had done something wrong. I was awake; yes, a little stoned but, I knew what was going on and I initiated it. How could I fuckin not? I never expected her to cum the way she did. Talk about your hair trigger.

Had the pills not kicked in I’m sure I would have fucked her into next week instead of dumping my own huge premature load in her hand. Ain’t we a pair, Niki?

I held her by the ass as I spoke in her face. “Don’t you dare run a guilt trip on yourself, Niki? I think things are about to get complicated.”

I pushed her back on the bed and pulled the little sailor skirt and panties off then dove in nose first. I was met with zero resistance. I had done this with Julie a few times and apparently, I was good at it; kind of a reverse blowjob in my mind. Niki smelled and tasted way better than Julie. I would go from sucking on her swollen baby penis to my tongue buried in her ass or sucking the small space between the two. I did enjoy it!

Niki was the Tiger I unknowingly hoped for and her fingers were locked behind my head as she rode my face. I had missed the pleasure of giving someone pleasure and I wore a huge smile the whole time as she tried to complement and direct me but the sounds weren’t anything resembling words.

I looked at the clock in my peripheral and realized I had been happily chewing on her for twenty minutes and I needed to get back downstairs. She had cum twice; I think small cums. I knew the big one was on the horizon. I have never been so mean. I’d have never left a buddy hanging like this. “I got to go to work, Niki.” And I stood.

“I don’t think so… Farmboy” came out of her in a growl as she dropped to her knees in front of me pulling my shorts down. One hand grabbed at the base of hard little Dean, holding me in place. As she looked up I swear her eyes changed color.

I was trying to back up and her fingernails were stinging my ass as she pulled all of me into her mouth. “Oh, Oh, Oh, Niki,” fell from me as I pushed her back, knelt down, and kissed her puffy lips softly.

I thought about us on the floor. Her skirt and stuff and my shit was around my knees. One of us had to say something. I mean there were people downstairs waiting on me to make a record. “I want to pick up right here when we have more time.” And I pulled up my shorts backing to the door; I have never seen such a pouty face.

I realized I must be sick. There can’t be any other guy my age that would walk away from someone like Niki. I’d just backed away from, what I’m sure, would have been ‘the blow job’ of a lifetime. I could have sampled her fruit into tomorrow. I had to stop by my room for a new set of bottoms before I could show up downstairs. It was the first time I had to wear ‘the face.’

You know the one. ‘No, I wasn’t doing what you all know I was, and I don’t know what you think you know.’ Oh, fuck it. They all knew.

I walked into the studio and everyone stopped talking and looked at me. “What?” I asked. “I had to go to the bathroom.” I further explained. It was futile.

Everybody was trying not to smile at me. Stevie walked over and put his arm around my shoulder resting his mouth to my ear and whispered. “I’m blind and my senses are heightened. I can smell you across the room. Or should I say, her?” He bonked his head off mine and continued, “I love the way she smells and I hate to say this but, go wash your face, kid. It’s a distraction.” I felt like such a tool.

We finally finished. If you’ve never abused your voice so much; just know it sucks. This was the time for me to ask questions that had been burning for a while. I sounded like Kermit the frog squeezing his nuts. It was kind of funny because; it just sounded funny.

Sony had packed up and it was just today’s group. Berry stood and said, “I think we should try something.” And we all stood.

We were in the studio again, everybody was gone except us; Berry, Elton, Richard, Stevie, and the ladies.

“Dean. Your voice, the way it’s now, the rawness is something only a few can fake.” And I chocked a laughed.

“No. I mean it.” He pulled everyone around and explained. “I saw this in the raw. Not like Disturbed; it was a kid. If it doesn’t happen now it will be lost forever.”

I was the last to understand. It had been a full day and I was; well. ‘Really; you gonna do this to me know after yesterday?’ Barry said it had to be this song. A guitar, two pianos, and a harmonica started. Linda was behind the glass running the board. Niki was next to me sharing my microphone. Deep, deep, breath.

Do you remember how it started?

“Hello darkness my old friend,” I began in pitches and keys that were unrecognizable. “I’ve come to call on you again old friend.” I crackled. I could hear myself in the headphones and I had to take a couple deep breathes.

“Because your vision softly creeping, you left your seeds again while I was sleeping, and the vision that you planted.” and I came to a stop with a cough. Is this what he wants from me, I wondered?

Six months ago this was so simple. A kid named Dean stood in front of his high school with a guy who’d turned him in a different direction. I thought about Rick and me. I had twenty plane tickets in forty-five days. Why was I thinking about that? Wake up, dummy.

“I can’t do this,” I crooked out. “I have nothing left to give,” and Niki reached for my hand and shook her head, no, like knowing something I didn’t.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Farmboy.” I think one of us tiered up. 

Not only was my voice beyond trashed; I was back in the gym with Rick again. The boxes I’d filed wanted to be opened. I couldn’t now. But here I was; a lifetime from where I was and two albums later. My voice was gone. I couldn’t make a sound. 

“Fine… Kick in where you can.” Barry said over the strings, knowing that the tone of his request would pull the last I had to give; even if it was the last words that would ever come from my mouth. That’s where I was.

It was like; I can’t even describe. I couldn’t let him or them down. My lungs filled and squeezed the air out in sounds I’d never heard and I’m sure nobody else had either. It surprised me.

I covered my ear with my left hand. “And in the naked light, I saw ten thousand people maybe more.” This hurt came in waves most wouldn’t understand but seeing Niki sharing her pain for me, with me, was comforting in a weird sort of way.

I had never been pushed to a point like this or pushed myself. I can only say it’s like a triathlon but you only use your voice. The mind doesn’t understand and you sing as you would. It just doesn’t come out the same.

Tears streamed from my eyes as they continued to play waiting for me to start again. Now it hurt in more ways than one. My stomach had been hurting since this morning. My throat had hurt since yesterday, and my heart hurt now. “People talking without speaking, people hearing without listing; people writing songs that voices never share; no one dares disturb the ‘Sound of Silence.” I ended pulling my hand from my ear.

Between the guitar, piano’s, and harmonica, the end came.

What I never knew was the cameras. It’s one thing to give the last you have, but to see it happen is beyond words. It was the best and saddest thing I have ever seen. I could never recreate this. Those sounds would never come from me again if I had anything to say about it.

There was a group hug, and Barry saying, ‘told you so.’ There was so much I wanted to say and tell them; questions I had; only a few words remained in me and I chose them carefully. 

I didn’t know goodbyes would be so hard. Stevie pulled me close and praised me for what I was doing and I did the same for what he had done again.

Elton sat with me on a bench. After holding me with his arm around my shoulder he said, “George; I’m sure would be so pissed not being here. He would have loved singing with you as much as I do. Anytime kid; anytime.” And he kissed me on the cheek.

Step back and take a long look at this seine. Where was I a few months ago? How could I be so lackadaisical about what was happening right now? “Would you let me call you, Grampy?” I asked. I don’t know where in the hell that came from or who I thought I was but, I wasted five of the last words in me to ask.

Today was Sunday. I met him two days ago. ‘That’s what it’s like being, Dean. That is what it was like now. This man I would gladly be associated with and even gladly accept him as blood. Six months ago I was a guy being pushed up against a bathroom door and Rick; well; you know.

“Don’t you dare? You, Mr. Dean Cooper, call me Granny but don’t do it in front of David. You got to come to England, Dean.” And he kissed me on the other cheek and gave me his toothy smile.

Richard and I had talked at length earlier in the day and it didn’t surprise me when he just hugged me, “He shouldn’t have done that to you.” he said in my ear before walking away never looking back. He was ashamed but I didn’t blame him.

Barry and I strolled on the beach, “Are you OK, kid?” He asked me again and I nodded. “Dean, I hope you will thank me someday. If you ever need me all you have to do is call. There will always be room for you under my roof.” and he bonked his head on mine. I thought about Mr. Long. “And yes, you can call me, Grampy, Kid.” I don’t know how he knew?

Niki’s POV.

We had been in the air for close to two hours and Dean was resting with his head on me as I did email shit. We had been downgraded to a GL350. It was a plane for eight. He was becoming restless then stood and threw up trying to climb over me. He collapsed in the aisle and pulled into the fetal position moaning. My screaming got the pilot’s attention.

He came back. “Is he stoned?” He asked.

Ok. Remind me to slice this guy when we’re on the ground. “He is not stoned, you-fuckin-moron. We need to land; NOW.”

Dean looked at me grunting in pain. I couldn’t handle him looking at me like that. “Niki,” he crooked out with tears as his hand reached to me. Just so you know: Niki’s not built for shit like this.

“We’re landing Dean. You’re going to be fine.” I assured as tears filled my own eyes realizing just how much I cared for this farm boy and the plane started making some radical moves.

He took my hand and I saw in his eyes; Dean was scared. I don’t ever want to see that look again. “Promise me.” He said with such determination. “You have to Promise me, Niki” He stiffened and passed out from whatever.

The pilot said we were over Missouri and we’re going to land in St. Louis. He told me to buckle up and leave Dean on the floor. Well, that wasn’t going to happen. I pulled Dean between the seats and his top half rested on me and my arms held him tight enough to land. It was a fast landing and we went from cruising altitude to on the ground in under five minutes.

As the Paramedics’ boarded Dean came around long enough to scream and pass out again and I answered questions the best I could. I took Dean’s phone and pushed, home. I played it down and told his parents he wasn’t feeling well and as a precaution, we landed in Missouri so he could be checked out and I would call later. ‘This wasn’t part of the job. I don’t lie to your parents, Farmboy.’

Dean had broken out into a sweat and was shaking uncontrollably; like seizure shaking. He was carried from the plane and put on a gurney then in the ambulance. I held his hand all the way to the Hospital. I was doing my best to hold it together. I answered questions producing ID and documents so they would treat him.

I didn’t find out until later that the pilot had contacted the media, Fox, saying Dean Cooper had OD’d. The trucks started showing up and I called people. Dean’s mom was the first and I told her to believe nothing she sees on TV. I called Parker and told him what happened and then I called my boss at Sony.

That’s when I found out Sony had Dean insured for 250 million dollars. It was ok if he died. Dean wasn’t going to like that any more than I did. I went to the bathroom, checked my self, and then told a hospital spokesperson to have the press assembled in the parking lot for a statement. It was almost midnight.

I introduced myself as Dean Cooper’s Personal Assistant and he was experiencing some issues; not having any idea what was really wrong with him. It wasn’t five minutes and his phone lit up. I only answered the names I knew and within two hours flowers and shit started arriving at the hospital. I suddenly realized that Dean wasn’t Dean anymore. He was that guy now.

The news blew up Twitter and Facebook. CNN was talking about it and Fox continued on with how sad it was that Dean Cooper was still hooked on drugs. I called Parker and told him to sue Fox.

My boss called me and asked just who I thought I was and I told him, “Fuck you. I quit. I’m his PA and if you want to talk to him you’ll have to get past me.” And ended the call proclaiming he was a dick-less, prick.

Jeff’s POV.

Rick was in front of me and Max was behind me as we pulled into school. Everything was abuzz and everybody came to us thinking we knew something they didn’t, but we knew nothing; except me. There was an announcement when first period started.

“I have it on good authority that Dean is ok, but he’s still in the hospital in Missouri.” Mr. Long started. “He did not overdose. And shame on any of you who believed that garbage. His Assistant said she would update me later in the day. Please stand for The Pledge of Allegiance.”

Lunch was weird. People were in groups around I-Pads, and eyes watched me and Rick as we made our way to the stage. We both checked our phones before starting to eat never saying a word to each other.

Rick looked at me and in a growl, he said, “If you hurt my little brother, I’ll kill you with my bare hands.” I knew he was serious.

“Your brother; your little brother, is his own worst enemy.” I started. “I would never hurt him. He needs help, Rick.” I said with the most honest look I could muster.

He looked at me; I realized and asked, “Are you fuckin kidding me?” I saw it in his eyes and he either wanted me to fuck him or wanted to fuck me. Neither was going to happen. These brother’s

This was ‘big city’ shit that was happening. Big city porn shit. I was looking at a guy who had my thumb in his ass pushing his big dick further into his mouth and wanting something similar. His little brother had cut me with a razor, pushed a rod down my dick, and hooked me with one hit. And after last night it really hurts to pee.

We pulled out of the parking lot the same way we entered this morning and I followed Rick and parked next to him as Max pulled in next to me. Rick was ready to fight and before he reached me Max tackled him pinning his brother to the ground.

From your Author:

I am like you, friends. I do read stories on this site and as many of you know I pay homage to our host.

I think at times things just get redundant. We need something new, something to make us think beyond why we read here today, I think that’s where I come in.

‘The Start’ began as a love and first time thing; never meant to be this long. It is a love story with everything a true love story requires. Rick and Dean! Their perfect youthful bodies would blaze the cover of any romance novel. Jeff. He is the perfect test tube boy; hair that isn’t yellow or white. And eyes that are beyond blue. His body is compact and even though he can’t see the lines, they’re there.

The Start changed mid-way. There is so… much shit going on with young people today. Maybe, Dean is Justin Bieber. Where we are now is nowhere close to chapter one when we started. 

‘Niki’ you don’t find a Niki, in stories like this but in today’s times, there is always a Niki. Everything is here. Good looks and sudden fame happens but, half is left behind. Heartbreak is inevitable and I can tell you that pain is so close to pleasure.

I want to thank Eddie, again. He saw the direction and understood where I was going. Please understand that as a writer I, in no way, promote what is happening with Max and Jeff. My only goal is to identify a condition and deal with it in a way that might heal later on down the road.

Do you remember the time when you had to rent a porn flick or watch one in a booth? I do. They say that if a person does something for twenty-eight days it will become a habit. Men today can’t perform because of what they watch every chance they get on their phones. Huge cocks down throats or up asses; nothing the little wife or girlfriend will do.

Back in the day, we could get hard over a blue sky. Today pre-teens see everything you can see. Kids can’t even get it up to jack-off without watching some bizarre-sex-shit. What’s the answer???

I am going to attempt addressing some issues and I will try to do it in a way to keep those looking for what this site provides but also in a way that might send those in need to help. RJC.