Evan

It had been about two hours since Emily and Jake had gone home. Ryan started cleaning up almost immediately, going through every room in the house trying to make sure that nothing was out of place that our mom would notice. I offered to help him but he said it was part of my party so he would do it all himself. I wasn't going to argue so I went upstairs and played on my game for a while.

When Ryan was finally done he called me down for a drink. We sat down at the breakfast bar and I was just finishing my first long swig when my phone beeped. I checked it to see a third message of the day from Tyler but instead of reading it I just pushed my phone to one side.

"Aren't you going to read that?" Ryan asked.

I looked at him and he just smiled.

"It's nothing," I said.

"Bullshit. If it was nothing you'd have read it. You got one during breakfast too but you didn't read it until after Jake had gone. It was that guy, wasn't it?"

"What guy?"

"That one you were looking at online," Ryan said. "Come on, don't lie to me, Ev."

"Yes, it is, okay?" I said.

"What does he want?"

"How do I know?"

"Read the message and find out," Ryan scoffed.

I picked up my phone and clicked open the message. I felt my jaw dropping and tried to hold it up but it was no use. Ryan snatched the phone out of my hand before I could react.

"Holy fuck!" Ryan shouted, seeing the picture Tyler had sent. "How big is that dick?"

I felt mortified but it was too late now. "Seven inches."

"It looks a hell of a lot fucking bigger than that. Jesus, have you read the message that's with it?"

I held my hand out. Ryan put the phone back in it and I scrolled down from the picture to see the words beneath it. "This is what happens when I think about you".

The picture was of Tyler's awesome body. There was sweat glistening on his big pecs and his six, possibly eight, abs were tensed and tight, covered in a huge amount of creamy white spunk that had been shot all over them by the huge cock that was lying spent across them, a drop of cum still leaking from the tip.

"He knows he's sending these messages to YOU, right?" Ryan asked.

"Yes," I said.

"He fucking wants you, bro."

"I guess."

"What's the problem?" Ryan asked. "You're single. I'm assuming he's single. He clearly wants you and I know just from looking at you and how I found you the other day that you want him."

"It's not that simple," I said.

"Is this because of Jake again?" Ryan asked. "Who gives a fuck if Jake doesn't like the guy? If you do that's all that matters."

"I don't know if I do."

"Beyond wanting to fuck him, you mean?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "I want to fuck him so bad. He's so fucking hot it's unbelievable, but he's such a dick."

"I take it these texts aren't the first sign he's sent you that he wants to fuck you?"

"No," I said.

"How did it start?"

"We were paired together in gym class and I guess there was some kind of weird chemistry there. Then we caught sight of each other in the shower and there was another spark."

"That doesn't get him sending you pictures of his dick though," Ryan said.

"No, that only happened after we were alone in the bathroom at school and he had me pinned against a wall. I thought he was going to beat the crap out of me and I think that was his plan at first but then he started telling me about how he was going to take something from me Jake would never be able to get... my virginity."

"Fuck... so he wants you because of this stupid feud with Jake?"

"I think that's how it started but now I'm not so sure."

"How do you mean?"

"The last time we spoke there was something in his voice when he was telling me what he wanted to do to me. I don't think he was lying."

"Who is he?" Ryan asked.

"I don't think I should say."

"Why? Will I know him?"

"Probably not but he's got a reputation to keep."

"He's sending you pictures of his dick and telling you how much he wants to fuck you. How is that not begging to be exposed? I'm assuming he's a jock?"

"Yes."

"A wrestler?"

"No."

"Ahh, he's a football player then," Ryan smiled. I said nothing, which was all the answer he needed. "What do you want, Ev?"

"I really want to fuck him but I think I might hate myself afterwards if I do. He's so sexy. He's the kind of guy I've been dreaming about for years and he's telling me he wants to fuck me... my body is screaming at me to let him but my mind is shouting no. I don't know what he wants or what I want to do."

"Text him back. Try to get more information out of him. You might be overthinking things, Ev. If he's a jock with a reputation to protect he's not gonna fuck you just to embarrass you or get at Jake. Believe me, it doesn't matter if you fuck a guy or are the one getting fucked, most people see it as gay whatever, especially in sports. His buddies won't high-five him for nailing your ass when girls are throwing themselves at him, they'll call him a queer for not fucking pussy and will beat the shit out of him before kicking him off the team and disgracing his name so he can never play again."

"I guess. There is one other thing," I said.

"What?"

"Did Emily tell you what she gave me?"

"What?" Ryan asked. "Wait... the video? Oh my God, it's him, isn't it?"

"Yes," I nodded.

"The guy sucking the dick?"

"No, the one getting his dick sucked," I said.

"Oh fuck, bro, so you're not the first guy he's fucked around with? Does that not tell you something?"

"He might really like me," I said. "If he's done it with other guys before he's probably not just trying to mess with my head."

"Exactly, bro, so if you like him, what's holding you back?"

"I don't know."

"So it's not because of Jake?"

"No," I said. "I know where Jake stands now."

"Really?" Ryan asked, raising an eyebrow. "You actually talked to him about how you feel?"

"Yes."

"And? What did he say?"

I didn't say anything straight away, swallowing hard, but that seemed to give me away because Ryan smiled.

"Ev, what happened?"

"Nothing," I said.

"More bullshit. What happened?"

"I can't tell you," I said.

"The hell you can't. Now I know something happened. Tell me. You know I won't tell anyone," Ryan said.

"No, look, nothing happened. We're best friends just like we've always been."

"And how close did you come to being more?"

I looked away from Ryan again and he started chuckling.

"Fuck, I was just kidding, but something really did happen. Did he fuck you?"

"No," I said, sternly.

"But you wanted him to?"

"Of course I fucking wanted him to," I snapped. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. "We talked about my feelings for him and I told him I love him. I didn't just imply it this time."

"How did he react?"

"You promise you won't tell anyone?" I asked.

"I promise."

"Even Marcus?" I asked.

"I promised, didn't I?" Ryan said.

I took another deep breath and looked up into my brother's eyes. "He said he couldn't stop thinking about it because no one had ever said that to him."

"Thinking about it how?" Ryan asked, intrigued.

"Like whether he could ever be with me, you know, like that, because he'll probably never find someone who loves him as much as I do."

"Wait a second," Ryan said, holding up his hand. "Are you saying he wanted to fuck around with you to see if he could ever be your boyfriend?"

Ryan's eyes were staring into mine the whole time and he was kind of tense, like he was on edge waiting for the answer. I nodded.

"He wanted to kiss me to see if it ignited any kind of fire inside him."

"Did you?"

"Kiss him?" I asked.

"Yeah," Ryan said.

"Yes," I replied, nodding again. "We made out, tongues and everything."

Ryan had a huge smile on his face. "How was it?"

"Awesome," I grinned. "Better than I ever imagined."

"Did Jake like it?"

"He said it felt good."

"That's a yes then. Was that all you did?"

I must have gone red and hesitated for a moment too long because that huge grin spread across Ryan's face again.

"He... He let me explore him," I said.

"What does that mean?" Ryan asked.

"He let my run my hands over his body. He let me kiss him and lick him."

"Damn," Ryan gasped. "Jake actually let you lick his body? Did you suck his nipples?"

"Yeah," I smiled, "he was really moaning."

"And lick his abs?"

Ryan seemed more into hearing about what happened than I would have ever guessed so I decided to play up to it.

"Yeah, I tongue-fucked his belly button too and felt his hard dick on my chin."

"Fuck! Did you suck his cock?" Ryan asked with his eyes wide.

"Yeah," I smiled.

"How did he like that?"

"He loved it."

"Damn. Did he cum in your mouth?"

"No," I said.

"Why not? You didn't fuck so what's the point in sucking a dick if it's not to get it hard to fuck you or to cum in your mouth?" Ryan asked.

I couldn't believe the words just flowing out of my brother's mouth.

"Because I thought that's what I was going to get," I admitted.

"His cum in your mouth?" Ryan asked.

"No..."

"Woah! You thought he was gonna fuck you?"

"He almost did," I said.

Ryan's eyes bugged out of his head and his jaw hung loose. He looked like his brain had just melted.

"What the fuck do you mean he almost did?" Ryan asked.

"He had his dick against my ass, rubbing it up and down, and then he started to push in. Oh, the head popped through into me and I thought he was gonna fuck me."

"He was actually in you?" Ryan asked, shocked.

"Only for a second," I replied.

"Damn, so he popped your cherry?"

"No," I said. "He didn't fuck me. He barely got inside me."

"So why didn't he fuck you? Did he get cold feet and chicken out?"

"Kind of," I said.

"Meaning?"

"I got really caught up in everything and begged him to fuck me. It freaked him out and he couldn't do it."

"So he got you all worked up, let you suck his dick and backed out just as he was sliding his dick into you?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Did he do anything to you?"

"No," I said. "It was all me."

"Did he even touch your dick?"

"I don't think so," I said.

"The pussy. I don't get guys who can fuck another's ass but won't even suck a dick. There were guys like that at college," Ryan said.

"Jake didn't fuck me," I said.

"No, but he was going to. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I said.

"Really? Because I'd be pissed as hell if someone I'd loved for years had me all worked up and was about to fuck me and then backed out. What was he thinking?"

"He thought he could do it. He thought it would make me happy."

"Yeah, it would have made you happy if he'd nailed your ass and pumped you full of cum. Did you even get off?"

"Erm..." I stuttered.

"Ev?"

"Not with Jake," I said.

"But after?"

"Yes," I said, shyly. "I, er... I used your birthday present."

"The fleshlight?"

"No..."

"No kidding? You used the dildo?"

"Yes."

"Thinking it was Jake?"

"Yes."

"Damn bro," Ryan said, holding his hand out across the table. I smiled and slapped it. "How was it?"

"Awesome," I said. "I just wish it was the real thing."

"Yeah," Ryan said, "It's not really the same."

I stared at my brother. I still couldn't believe what I was hearing from him. I couldn't hold back now, I had to ask.

"Ryan..." I said. "Have you, you know, fucked a guy?"

He looked taken aback but not really shocked. "What makes you ask that?"

"What you said about guys at college who'd fuck ass but not suck dick. It sounded like you knew that from experience?"

He was silent but never let his eyes leave mine.

"And there's something else," I said, "A few things really. You bought me a dildo and just said it doesn't compare to the real thing. How would you know? Have you been fucked?"

Still Ryan said nothing so I decided to go for broke.

"And I heard you on the phone the other day, talking to Paige. You said something about you and Marcus..."

I let that linger for a moment and Ryan slowly closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them he had the most intense look in his eyes I've ever seen.

"Yes," he said.

I waited for him to elaborate but he said nothing else.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"Shit..." He sighed. "We're really gonna have this conversation?"

"Yeah, I want to know," I said. "I've laid everything out for you with Jake. Now it's your turn."

He nodded his head, "Okay. I need you to understand something first, alright?"

"Yeah, fine," I said.

"I'm straight. I'm not lying to myself, I'm not in denial and I've never had feelings for another guy, sexual or otherwise."

"Okay," I said, urging him to go on.

"College is a strange place, Ev," Ryan said. "You meet all kinds of people, come across things you never thought about and never even dreamed of. I'd never met a gay guy before, I don't think I'd ever known one, but there's a freedom at college that isn't there at high school and gay guys start coming out of the closet. There were a few in our dorm, Danny and James. You wouldn't have known from looking at them or the way they acted, kind of like you, they were just normal guys. We got along great and just saw them like we saw everyone else. Those two guys opened my eyes and I think that's why I'm so relaxed about things with you, because that's the way it was with them."

"That's great," I smiled, thankful to those two guys I had never met, "but it doesn't really answer my questions."

"No, I know it doesn't," Ryan replied. "I wanted to lay the groundwork, to tell you how I came to thinking about gay guys and what they do with each other. It was never in my head until I met those two guys and I think like a lot of others I was curious. I didn't have the balls to bring it up though because I didn't want them thinking I was interested."

I laughed at that. "Were you with anyone then?"

"No," he said. "I was fucking a few girls but it was my first semester. I didn't meet Paige until the spring."

"So... how?"

"One night Marcus and I were stumbling in from some frat party. We were wasted. I don't know why but we thought we'd go down to Danny's room to see what he was doing, even though it was like 2am, because he left the party early. When we got there we heard all this moaning so we stopped and listened. We didn't know who was in there with him but the guy was begging Danny to fuck him. We listened for another minute or two, hearing the guy moan and scream for more, and then we heard a noise so we bolted and ran to our room.

"That was the first night I was really curious. I'd never heard a girl moan and beg like that before, ever. You could just hear how good that guy felt getting fucked. It made me wonder what was so good about it and Marcus told me he felt the same. Nothing happened that night though, we just went to sleep."

"Then what?" I asked.

"It was another few weeks before anything was even said about that night. I thought Marcus had forgotten about it because he was so out of it."

"How did it come up again?"

"We caught Danny fucking someone."

"For real?"

"Yeah. We were so comfortable with each other we left our doors open so we could just walk in. One night we headed down to his room to see if he wanted to go shoot some pool and we didn't hear anything so we just went in. There he was on the bed with this real muscular guy under him, almost bent in half while he fucked the holy hell out of him. It was unbelievable. And the guy's dick was so hard, slapping against his abs. I think that's what shocked us the most. No, actually, that was when the guys cock started shooting with neither of them touching it."

"Damn..." I sighed, feeling my dick growing harder in my pants.

"Yeah, I couldn't believe it. Danny saw us but he just kept fucking the guy because he was so close. We couldn't take our eyes away from their big bodies, covered in sweat, fucking like animals. After that Marcus and I talked about it. I guess we wondered about it and I think both of us silently wanted to try it to see what it was like."

"What, fucking or being fucked?" I asked.

Ryan smiled, "Both, at least for me. I knew an ass would be a crazy tight fuck. I fucked a girl in the ass once, so I could kind of imagine, but with how big that dude was that Danny was fucking I thought it would be so different fucking a hulk like that and I wanted to try it. And with the way the first guy moaned when Danny fucked him and the second went off hands free, I wondered what it was like to get fucked and if it really felt that good, if it could possibly feel good having another guy's dick inside you, fucking you a new hole."

"So it really was just curiosity? You didn't have any desire for guys?" I asked.

"No, bro," Ryan said. "I didn't look at any guy and think about how much I wanted to fuck him. I wasn't suddenly attracted to guys. I didn't start thinking about their bodies or their asses or their cocks. I just wondered what it felt like."

"So, when did it happen?" I asked.

"Christmas break of freshman year," Ryan said. "Do you remember I had that late final?"

"Not really," I said.

"Well, it was the last one anyone had so I had to stick around for it. Most of the guys in our dorm had left a day or two before when all their finals were over but a few stayed around, including Marcus because he was driving back here with me. Anyway, we were pretty much all packed and ready to set off home when a damn snow storm hit and the five of us still in the dorms had to stay behind until it cleared. It took two days. We were basically trapped in the building. The first night was just all of us gathered in the common room chatting about all kinds of shit because we couldn't get a TV signal and were bored shitless. The second night it was just me and Marcus in our room and somehow we ended up talking about Danny and gay sex and we got hard talking about it.

"At some point," Ryan continued, "we started jerking off but we were still talking about guys having sex. We were both really horned up and when Marcus asked if I was curious enough to try it I just nodded my head. The next thing I knew his hand was on my dick and he was stroking me up and down. I couldn't believe it, my best friend had my hard dick in his hand, but it felt damn good. We barely talked after that. I think we both knew where it was going so nothing really needed to be said."

"So you...?" I pushed.

Ryan laughed. "You want me to say it don't you?"

"Yes," I smiled.

"He kept jerking me off so it was only fair I grabbed his dick. It felt weird doing it but we both figured it was a one-time thing. After a couple of minutes Marcus got brave and leaned down to suck my cock. I nearly came in his mouth straight away but I managed to hold off. I was sitting back on the sofa with him on the floor between my legs. When I told him I was gonna cum he pulled off, stood up on the sofa with his legs either side of me and slapped his cock against my face. I just laughed and started sucking him. I don't really know what I felt but it wasn't anything bad."

"Who got fucked first?" I asked.

"Marcus," Ryan smiled. "While I was blowing him I stuck a finger up his ass and he started bucking back onto it and then he fucked my face with his cock. He was really moaning and when I got a second finger in him he couldn't take it. He pulled his dick out of my mouth and pretty much just sat down on mine. I knew it hurt him at first but he got used to it and I fucked him like I would have any girl with him riding me first, then doggy and finally with him on his back."

"Did you make him cum?"

"Yeah," Ryan said. "I wanted to fuck the cum out of him like Danny did to that guy but it just wouldn't happen so I grabbed his cock and jerked him while I fucked him. We came at the same time. It was pretty awesome."

"Did he like it?"

"He didn't hate it. He said it felt strange but not bad."

"So when did you bottom for him?"

"Later that night when we both recovered and he asked if I wanted to see what it was like. I said why not. He lubed up and slid in much easier than I thought. I was bent over my desk first and then we went to bed until we both came again."

"Did you like it?"

"It felt good," he said. "I can't say I really enjoyed it or wanted to do it again but I was happy I had done it and I was happy it was Marcus I'd done it with."

"Did it ever happen again?"

Ryan said nothing.

"Ry?"

"Not with Marcus," he said.

I looked at him, trying to read his face. "With someone else?"

Ryan nodded. "Not even Marcus knows about this. I haven't told anyone, Paige included, but yes."

"Who?"

"Danny," he said. "After Marcus I still didn't really get what felt so great or what those guys Danny had fucked felt when he was inside them. Call me crazy but I wanted to know."

"So you..."

"I went to him one night when I knew we'd be alone and asked him to fuck me."

"Fuck! Did he?"

"Yes. He couldn't wait," Ryan said. "He kissed me, hard. That wasn't something Marcus and I did so it was kind of exciting. He sucked my dick until I was about ready to cum and then spun me around and ate my ass. God that felt good. He knew how to work a guy over. He got two fingers inside me before I was actually begging him to fuck me. It felt too good and I couldn't believe it but I wanted to have his cock in me."

"Damn, I can't believe this," I said.

"Don't tell anyone," Ryan said.

"I won't, but..."

"But what?"

"What happened when he fucked you?" I asked.

"He made me scream like a bitch," Ryan laughed. "He fucked me so good I could barely breathe. It was so different to with Marcus. Danny knew just what to do to drive me crazy."

"Did you cum while he fucked you?"

"Yes," Ryan said.

"Hands free?"

"Not the first time."

"WHAT?!" I screamed. "How many times did he fuck you?"

Ryan laughed, "Three times."

"Shit. Three times in one night?"

"Not exactly..." Ryan said.

"No way," I said, "Three different nights?"

"Yes."

"I can't believe you went back to him."

"I was drunk," Ryan said. "And there was no denying how good his dick felt in my ass."

"I just... I can't..."

Ryan chuckled, "I think part of me went back twice because I wanted to see if he could make me cum without touching myself like he had with that other guy. The first time it wasn't happening no matter how hard he tried to make me shoot just from fucking me so he jerked me off while he fucked his load into me. The second time I got more into it and pushed back against him, fucking myself on his cock, but that made him cum quicker, before I was ready, so he let me fuck him. He didn't bottom often but he happily gave his ass up to me and I loved fucking him, Ev. He was so built and I got such a rush out of putting him on his back and making him whimper while I fucked him to a second orgasm. He only had to jerk his cock twice before he shot just about the biggest load I'd ever seen, well, until the next time he fucked me. That third time he did it. He held my hands down on the mattress so I couldn't touch my cock and pounded me so hard I thought I was gonna pass out. He just fucked and fucked and fucked until he fucked the cum out of me. I felt like my balls exploded and I shot more cum than I ever have, before or after, all without touching myself."

I just stared at him in shock, still not believing what I had heard.

"After that I think I got what I wanted so it never happened again, even though Danny wanted to get me back into bed. I had no desire or need for it to happen. Then I met Paige and fell in love with her and I didn't want to be with anyone else."

I waited a moment, not sure I should say what was on my mind but I didn't think there was a better opportunity.

"Ry?" I asked. He looked at me and nodded to give his consent. "What happened with Paige?"

Ryan bit his bottom lip and took a deep breath. "I fucked up."

"So it wasn't anything to do with her knowing about you and Marcus?" I asked.

"Oh hell no, she didn't care about that, it was before I met her."

"Then how did you fuck up?"

"I cheated," he said with a deep sigh. "I went on a friend's bachelor party and there was this girl there. I can't explain what happened or what I felt but something just made me want her. I didn't know anything about her, not even her name. We met on the dance floor, started kissing and then went back to hers to fuck. After we were done I felt like shit so I left and tried to forget about it but I couldn't get it off my mind. I felt so guilty."

"How did Paige find out?"

"She knew something was on my mind so I told her. It was the only time I'd been with anyone but her since we got together and it meant nothing but for her it was a deal breaker. I tried to get her to forgive me and give me another chance but she wouldn't. She kicked me out and I stayed with a friend for a while but it wasn't working and I knew I had no choice so I moved back here. I fucking hate myself, Ev, because I screwed up the best thing that's ever happened to me for a fuck with some bitch I still don't know."

"I'm sorry, bro," I said.

"It's my fault, Ev, I've accepted that. But I want you to know, that guy, whoever he is, I understand lust, I understand wanting to fuck someone when you don't know or even like them. Just... make sure no one can get hurt, okay?"

"Yeah," I smiled.

"Oh, and I like Emily, just so you know. She's not a rebound fuck."

"As long as she's a good fuck," I laughed.

"Oh she is, bro, almost as good as Danny."

We cracked up, laughing, as the front door opened and we heard our parents calling out to us. Our conversation was over but I felt closer to my brother than ever before.