Exploring My True Self

The top was down as the Jeep headed south out of the city and back to my little house in the suburbs. My body was behind the wheel, but my head was somewhere else completely. What the hell just happened?

I just had the most intense sex of my life with not just one, but three of the hottest guys I’d ever met. Seriously, I’d never met guys this hot before, much less slept with any, and I wasn’t just “there,” I was the center of their attentions. All three of them. My mind was all over the place as I drove home. Yeah, I came here to be freer and more open, and discover myself. But what was I discovering? Was I just reveling in my new-found freedom, or was I discovering that I was a total slut? And what about Alex? Why did he want my number, does he want to pursue something more…a relationship? Do I want to pursue a relationship? especially with some guy I met at a bathhouse and know nothing about? Well, nothing other than he’s the hottest fuck I’ve ever had. Why did I really leave my life behind? Was it just so I could be a slut, or was it to discover who I truly was and build a better life? Are they the same thing?

I was truly lost in my thoughts.

Before I knew it, I had exited the highway, drove past a few miles of cookie cutter houses and was pulling into my driveway, at least I think it was mine, all these damn houses look alike, and I was still getting used to which one was mine. It was almost two in the morning when I opened the door, but there was no way I was going to be able to sleep with all this going through my head.

I got naked, poured myself a couple fingers of cheap whiskey and got into the hot tub hoping it would help me sleep. I started replaying the night in my head. Max and his magnificent curved dick, Adam the Marine with the beautiful blue eyes and perfect ass, and, of course Alex. Alex, the perfect, young ginger who couldn’t seem to get enough of me. Me! 5’4” 130-pound, average at best, me. I was in the middle of it all. What was I missing here? I always considered myself cute at best, but in the bathhouse, guys were fighting to be with me, and I mean hot guys, the kind fantasies were made of. I felt wanted, desired, Like an object of pure lust. Maybe I had underestimated myself all these years, or maybe it was just the dim light of the bathhouse. Whatever it was, I loved it.

As I sat there sipping my whiskey with the hot water bubbling around me, the activities of the night started to catch up with me and I started to fade off. Tomorrow (well technically today) is Saturday. No work, no plans. I pulled myself out of the hot tube, dried off and walked through my little house to the master bedroom and laid down on the bed. All this thinking made me hard again. Are you kidding me? I had already cum three times. But, as was the case this entire evening, my dick was in charge.

I laid on the bed just letting my fingers lightly float over my cock, teasing it, stimulating the blood flow. I was rock hard in no time, it was sore but that didn’t stop me. I reached into the nightstand and pulled out the bottle of lube, squeezed some on my little friend, and started stroking slowly from base to tip and back again. I was reliving the night in my head and my thoughts kept landing on Alex. Eating out that sweet pink hole through that hairy, red ass crack, then watching my seven and a half inches drive in and out. I could hear his moans of pleasure as if he was there with me. In about two minutes I was spent. Dick throbbing and sore, covered in lube and my own jizz, I fell fast asleep with Alex on my mind.

I woke up about 9AM to my phone ringing, I rolled over to grab it and mumbled “Hello” into the noisy little device that woke me from my dreams.

“Hey!” A young, deep voice boomed “It’s Alex, from last night. I hope it’s not too “stalkery” that I’m calling you so early and so soon, but I’ve been thinking about you since I met you.”

A smile came across my face, I couldn’t help but be flattered “Hey, Alex! Yeah, it’s a little “stalkery,” But I’m glad you called.”

“Listen, I know we just met … in a bathhouse…. with minimum light…. naked….” He laughed. “But I don’t know many people here and I think it would be fun to hang out.”

I laughed and said “Same here. I’ve only been here a week and don’t really know many people, I’d like to get to know you too.” I could almost hear his smile through the phone.

“How about just dinner, hang out for a while and see where it goes from there.”

“How about I pick you up at 8:00?”

“Make it 7:00” He shot back, “I don’t think I can wait that long. You like Mexican? There’s a great place in old town Scottsdale.”

“Mexican at 7:00 sounds like a plan!” I paused for a minute, “Hey, Alex…”

“Yeah?”

“I’m a pretty huge closet case. Like I told you, I moved here to find myself, but I’m still pretty guarded about everything and this…” I swallowed hard” … this is my first real date with a guy, so please be patient.”

“Well, I would’ve never known it the way you were wrangling every hot cock in the joint last night. I’ll be patient. I promise. I’m just glad we met. 7 O’clock?”

“7 O’clock. Text me your address.” We said goodbye and hung up.

HOLY CRAP! I have a date with this hot little ginger. He pursued ME. What’s going on here? I couldn’t think straight as excitement and nerves completely took me over. I spent the next several hours working in the yard, washing the Jeep, cleaning the house, and trying to remember every inch of the ginger stud I was going to see tonight. Would he still be into me when the lights weren’t as dim? Would I still be into him or did I totally embellish his hotness in my mind? Oh, hell I can’t do this!

But I did. At 6:40, after spending a couple of hours man scaping, picking out an outfit, cleaning myself up (inside and out), and generally overthinking everything, I jumped into my Jeep and headed to pick-up Alex.

When I pulled up to his building he was sitting on the steps waiting for me. He jumped in and gave me a kiss on the cheek then pulled back “Too forward for the closet case?” He grinned. “No, it’s perfect.” I responded as I took him in. Damn. If it’s possible he actually looked better in clothes and full light. His body was perfect, his muscles rippling through his tight green Tee, and his nipples standing at attention, begging to be tweaked. The red fur dusting his arms and legs made me hard on the spot. THAT FACE chiseled to perfection adorn with those piercing green eyes and a shock of red hair. God he was handsome, and all man.

He broke the silence with that deep voice, “God, you’re hotter than I remember.”

“ME? Have you seen yourself in the daylight?!” I blushed back

We laughed and headed to the restaurant talking over the wind the whole way like we’d known each other for years. We talked about everything except sex and being gay. Just two new friends getting to know each other. We clicked. He was smart, funny, and did I mention hot. I was so at ease with this guy. Dinner was more of the same. When we were done Alex suggested we head back to his place. I didn’t refuse.

When we got back to his place he slammed the door behind me and pushed me up against it. He shoved his tongue down my throat as he pushed me even harder against the door. He pulled my shirt up over my head and threw it to the floor, as he continued to shove his tongue down my throat. Next, he fumbled with the button and zipper on my shorts pulling them off over my shoes along with my underwear (damn, I picked that pair out especially for him and he never got to see them…maybe next time) leaving me standing there in nothing but my shoes.

He grabbed both my wrists with his left hand and hoisted them above my head while he grabbed my balls with his right hand and pulled hard. He pulled back, looked me in the eyes and said “I’m in charge tonight. Do you have a problem with that?” It was clear the question was rhetorical, and I really didn’t have much of a choice.

“What the hell happened to the submissive bottom I met last night?” I asked with a completely dazed look in my eyes.

“Bottom? Maybe. Submissive? Never. Do you really think you were running that show last night? If You remember correctly, you fucked me because I told you to.” He said in a low, calm, commanding voice with the most mischievous grin on his beautiful face. “I know you’re new to this, and I promised to be patient, but tonight I’m in control. If that’s too much now is the time to bail.”

“What does “in control” mean?” I asked feeling extremely naïve.

“Whatever the fuck I want it to. You can set the limits, but once you’re in, you’re in. No turning back” His voice was commanding. “Are you in or out?”

Wow, this took a turn.I thought to myself. My heart was racing with excitement, and a little fear. We set limits, and I asked for a safe word – although this was all new to me, I have seen my share of porn.

“No safe word. The only pain I inflict will lead to your pleasure” He said, “I’ll respect your limits but you either submit or you don’t.” The sweet, hot little ginger I had dinner with earlier became this masterful stud that I had no intention of resisting.

“I’m in” I said with a determined strength in my voice. He shot me his full smile, the one that cut through the darkness of the bathhouse last night and made me want him more.

He released his grip on my wrists and led me to his bedroom. He told me to lay on the bed as he set the mood dimming the lights, lighting candles, and putting on some…well not exactly music, more like and electronic rhythm that instantly entranced me and focused my mind on the stud in front of me.

He grabbed a leather bag out from under the bed and pulled out leather blindfold. He secured it tightly all the while checking to make sure I was comfortable and keeping me calm. I felt him secure my wrists and ankles to the four corners of the bed with Velcro straps. Lastly, he removed my shoes. Then I heard the door open and shut. I called his name and there was no answer.

SHIT! He left me there, naked, tied up, blindfolded, completely helpless. The excitement turned to fear after what I guessed was a few minutes. Then I heard the door open and close again.

“Are you still comfortable?” He asked in the calm, low voice I was becoming familiar with. “I’m okay, just a little nervous” I said as confidently as I could. “Don’t be. This is about your pleasure” He said as he removed the blindfold.

When my eyes adjusted, there he was. The ginger god with a leather harness strapped across his chest with a single strap leading to his crotch that was covered with a leather cod piece. His trimmed ginger bush was poking out of the top, and his muscles were glistening. In his right hand he held a menacing leather whip with several leather ropes knotted at the end (I learned later it was a cat of nine tails). He silently came to my left side.

He moved the whip up and down my body, not striking me but instead teasing me and awakening every nerve in my body. I instinctively tried to get out of my restraints, writhing from side to side, and trying to pull myself up. My efforts were useless. He leaned down and softly kissed me, then whispered in my ear “you’re under my command, enjoy the living fuck out of it.” With that he leaned down and bit my left nipple, squeezing my balls hard at the same time with his left hand. The pain was Immense as I groaned in total pleasure. He shifted his attention to my right nipple and bit again, never releasing the grip on my balls. After soothing my nipples with his tongue, he licked his way straight down my torso, and followed my treasure trail right to my straining dick. He licked from tip to base and kept going to my balls, lifting them gently with his hand and teasing the area underneath with his velvet tongue.

He then straddled my face putting his cod piece against my lips “take it off with your teeth.” He demanded. I did as I was told pulling the snaps open one by one until his steel hard manhood was free. He quickly shoved his thick 8 inches down my throat without mercy. At the same time, he went down on my seven and a half inches of rock-solid meat. I was so hard it felt like I was going to burst through the skin. I looked up and could see his pink, hairy hole just inches away. I wanted it so bad, but he obviously had other plans as he continued relentlessly pushing himself deep down my throat. After a while he finally pulled out of my mouth and aligned his sweet hole directly above my tongue. “Eat my hole.” He said firmly. I inhaled deep and got a nose full of his musk, then pushed my tongue in deep. It was euphoric. He pushed back trying to get every bit of my tongue. I could’ve stayed like this all night, this was all I wanted, to rim the ass of this hot stud.

Just as my balls were about to burst down Alex’s throat he pulled off of me and went to the foot of the bed to release my left ankle from its restraint. He brought it up over my head and tied it tight with my wrist, then did the same to my right ankle. I didn’t struggle much. By this point I trusted him completely. He had kept his promise…this was all about my pleasure.

He got on the bed between my legs and played with my dick as his tongue lightly bathed my balls, lowering its way down my taint to my virgin hole. That’s right, virgin. I had some sexual experience, but I never gave up my hole, and frankly I had no intention of doing so in the near future. His tongued worked my hole like and expert. Going in and out, in and out, then circling the rim softly. He was driving me insane. I couldn’t control the monas of pleasure escaping my lips.

His assault came to a sudden stop as he got off the bed to reach into his leather bag. He put a bottle of poppers and a bottle of lube on the night stand. I looked at the lube and said “NO! that’s not happening, I’m a total top.” He grinned down at me as he came toward me with a ball gag, shoved it in my mouth, and fastened it around my head, and said “That’s officially the last time you can say that.” He said calmly as he grinned down on my again, then went back between my legs and ate my hole like there was no tomorrow.

I lost track of time, but after what seemed like hours of him massaging my hole with his tongue, he looked up at me and said, “It’s time for you to get fucked.”

to be continued...