Exploring My True Self

Randy and I were both focused on work for the few weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. We were doing our best to wrap things up for the year so that we wouldn’t have to do too much work remotely over the Holidays.

Occupancy at Jordan’s Vegas hotels were at an all-time high, the launch of his umbrella brand had helped boost corporate sales immensely, and the new loyalty program we were working on was expected to push things to the next level. Jordan signed off on a proposal for us to rebrand his three New York properties starting in the new year. We were also looking at timelines for taking on several more of his properties. That all meant huge billings for the agency. The results exceeded expectations and our relationship with Jordan and his team was solid. Katie, Charlie and the rest of the team were doing a great job, I was proud of our success.

The day before we were heading home for the Holiday’s, Bill called me into his office. We met all the time, so I didn’t think much of it, but when I walked in he was sitting behind his desk and the other three partners were sitting in armchairs around the room. “uh oh. This can’t be good”I thought to myself as each of the partners stood to shake my hand and greet me.

“Kevin, it’s good to see you” Don, the most senior partner said as he shook my hand with both of his. Don was about 65 and spent most of his time in New York, we had a small office there. I had only met him twice. “I hear nothing but incredible things about you and your team from Bill and everyone here.”

“Thank you, sir,” I said as he let go of my hand “I’m lucky to have a great team and fantastic support from above.”

Don smiled and nodded “You’re a leader. Your team is successful because you lead them there every day. You’ve won over Jordan and doubled our agency billings in just a couple of months with more to come. Kevin, we’ve been getting crap projects from Jordan for years. Just scraps. No one had been able to get us through the door until you got here. You landed the business and built a team that took it to the next level.” He said as the others nodded in agreement. Bill leaned back in the big leather chair behind his desk with his hands behind his head smiling at me.

“For a million reasons, I’ve decided to retire at the first of the year” Don continued, “We’ve decided to move up our timeline and make you a full partner starting January first. We will announce it to our clients and staff after the Holiday break.” I stood there stunned as he went through the details. The bottom line was they were amending my contract to make me a partner effective immediately and planned to announce it now instead of waiting a year as originally planned.

I mustered a few words in my shocked state “Thank you all for your confidence…” I paused, not sure where to start or what to say. “I am honored and flattered. But I’ve only been here a few months. Won’t this raise a few eyebrows and frankly piss a few people off?” And then I apologized for my language.

“Fuck ‘em’” Don retorted, and the others chuckled. “If they can’t recognize and respect talent, then we don’t need ‘em on the team. You’re the future of this company. You know how to cultivate talent and lead people. The smart ones will get onboard, the petty and lame will leave. We’ll be stronger in the end.”

“Thank you. I’m honored, and frankly caught off guard. All I can think to say right now is that I won’t let you down.” I said in my shocked state of mind.

“Good.” Don replied, “Think of what you want to say to the staff when we make the announcement. We’ll leave you to talk details with Bill. Congratulations enjoy your break, you’ve earned it.” The three of them filed out of the room each shaking my hand and congratulating me as they did.

When the door shut behind them Bill said “Congratulations, Kev. No one deserves this more. Now, let’s talk turkey.” I sat across from him at the desk and he pushed some papers in front of me. “This is an amendment to your contract, it just moves things forward and breaks down the financials of the partnership, your salary, bonuses, etc. I’ll email it to you, so you can send it to your dad to review. Just get it back to me before the new year.” I just looked at him with glazed-over eyes and nodded. He laughed.

“A couple of details. Here’s your year-end bonus” he slid a live check across the desk for $50,000 minus taxes. “Over the break HR will get the office over here ready for you…” he nodded to his left “and…as charming, quirky and Arizona as your Jeep may be… go see this guy to pick out a grown-up car.” He slid a business card over to me.

“What?” I said

“It’s in the contract. You get a company car. This is Barry’s card, he handles our leases, he knows the budget and perimeter’s. Get something with four-doors and a little luxury, you’ll need it to lug around client’s and your team.” He winked at me. “Kevin, I’m proud of you.” I smiled back, still stunned.

“Bill. I am at a loss for words. Thank you for every opportunity you’ve given me and for trusting me the way you have. I love working for you .” I said

“With me, not for me, Kev. We’re partners now.” With that, Bill told me to start my vacation. We shook hands and I headed out for the holidays.

I couldn’t wait to tell Randy. I also couldn’t wait to call Barry and order my new ride. My mind was reeling. Come the new year I would be a partner in the agency, and hopefully engaged to the man of my dreams.

It was only about 3:00. I went back to my desk to e-mail my dad the documents, then said good bye to my team and wished everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy New Year, Happy Everything! I called Randy on my way to the parking garage, he answered on the first ring “Hello love of my life. Are you going to get home at a reasonable hour tonight?”

“I’m leaving the office right now. When can you leave?” I asked

“I’m in my car heading home now. We closed shop early.” He said

“Meet me at the bar in Old Town. We’re celebrating” I said

“Celebrating what?” He asked

“Just meet me. Love you. Bye.” I hung up. Fifteen minutes later I was at the bar waiting for Randy. He walked in and sat next to me. I just stared forward sipping my whiskey.

“So, what are we celebrating?” I didn’t answer, and very calmly slid the file folder with the amendment and check over to him, still looking forward, nursing my drink. He opened the folder, saw the check on top, then read the one-page document and almost screamed “Are you fucking kidding me??!!!” I Couldn’t contain my smile and turned to look him in the eyes as he pulled me into a tight embrace moving me side to side in excitement “Oh my god, this is freaking awesome!! I am so proud of you! Deposit this TODAY before we leave.” Randy went from excited boyfriend to competent financial manager in about two seconds.

I looked at him and said, “did you see the part about the company car?” His eyes grew wide and a smile crossed his face “I know what you’re thinking,” He replied knowingly. I just nodded and replied “Bill said I can do it all over the phone. Maybe it’ll be waiting for me when we get back. But I’m keeping my Jeep! That’s my baby.” We finished our drinks and headed home. Randy stopped for Chinese takeout on the way and I stopped at the bank to deposit my bonus check. When I got home we ate, packed our bags and went to bed early. We had to leave for the airport at 4AM.

We made it to the airport on time and were on our way. We had an action-packed couple of days ahead of us. Randy insisted we stay with Jeff tonight to help him through his first Christmas without Sarah, plus he lived close to the airport. On the morning of Christmas Eve we would head an hour north to spend time with Randy’s mom and sisters, and maybe visit his dad. Then, on Christmas Morning we would drive the two hours south to spend the next couple of days with my family. Then, back to Phoenix to spend New Years Eve with Adam and Alex. We didn’t know exactly what we were doing, but the four of us were going to spend the night together.

The flight was uneventful, and we got to Jeff’s about 3 o’clock. We hung out a little and ate dinner early. It was a nice night outside considering it was December in Wisconsin and the sun was just about to set. Randy talked me into taking walk. We walked down the street a few blocks and found ourselves on campus. We got nostalgic sharing crazy college stories as we passed by all the old buildings we used to hang out in. The snow started to fall lightly, the campus looked beautiful. We walked all the way through and kept going a few blocks east and ended up in front of our old flat. We looked at the old house and Randy took my hand and held it.

“It was up there…” Randy said pointing to the second story flat “about a decade ago, that I went to my first college party. I was feeling a little out of place when I spotted the hottest guy I had ever seen. He was a short guy with a tight little body. I talked to him a little later that night by the keg as he poured me a beer. A lot of thoughts went through my head that night. I thought Damn this guy is hot. Then we talked, and I thought damn this guy is sweet, but I never thought…” he paused turning to face me as he got down on one knee and reached in his pocket. He started to choke up as he continued, “…that a decade later, I’d be here with him, on one knee, asking him to spend the rest of his life with me.” I looked on in utter disbelief. HE WAS PROPOSING TO ME “Kevin Nicholls, will you marry me and wear my ring?” And he slipped the ring on my finger. I was at a loss for words. He beat me to it. I had the ring I bought for him in my pocket, but I didn’t want to ruin his moment. “Kevin…?” He said.

I turned to him and blurted out “YES…Absolutely I will” he stood up and I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly, then kissed. When our lips parted I decided to go for it. I reached in my pocket and got down on one knee “Randy…” I eked out, my voice cracking as I choked back the tears of joy “I have been carrying this ring around in my pocket since Thanksgiving, waiting for the perfect time and place to give it to you. This is it. This is the place where we met, and this is the time for me to tell you that I never thought I could love anyone the way I do you. You make me a better person. Yes. I will marry you and wear your ring. If you will return the favor” and I slipped the ring on his finger.

 He said “YES!” I stood up and we just stayed there, in the same spot, with tears welling up in our eyes hugging for at least ten minutes. A few neighbors and passers-by looked at us like we were insane, but I didn’t give a damn. This was the best moment of my life and I was going to savor it.

We started to walk back to Jeff’s house. We were mostly silent, both reveling in sheer joy. We did decide that we wouldn’t tell Jeff tonight. We wanted to tell our families first, in person. I was a little bummed that we were seeing his family first, but mine would know soon enough.

We hung out with Jeff for a while and just talked, it was hard not to tell him. But at least he didn’t notice the rings…that’s just Jeff. When we finally got up to the bedroom we put our hands side by side and looked at the rings together for the first time. They complimented each other perfectly. Mine was titanium with black graphite trim, his was black graphite with titanium trim. Both with a small diamond, mine was slightly bigger. The rings were different but similar. Made up a lot of the same elements but each constructed in a unique way. Much like us, and each ring fit the style of the wearer perfectly. We could not have planned this better If we tried. We fell asleep holding hands.

We got up early and headed north to the Ashton residence. We were spending Christmas Eve with his mom, two older sisters, and their families. I hadn’t met any of his family, I had just spoken to his mother on the phone a few times. His parents were divorced, and his dad lived a few miles from his mom. Randy blamed his dad for the divorce, and his dad wasn’t all that thrilled to have a “queer” for a son, so they weren’t exactly close.

We pulled up in front of the cute little house Randy grew up in, in the heart of the small Wisconsin town and got out of the car. Suddenly the door bursts open and two of the cutest little girls I’ve ever seen come running through the cold and jump onto Randy screaming “UNCLE RANDY!” he caught one in each arm. His Sister Sara came running after them. Then a little boy burst out of the house next door running towards us screaming “UNCLE RANDY” and grabbed him around the knees. Randy’s sister Lisa came chasing after him. Lisa and Sara introduced themselves. They treated me like we were old friends and made me feel right at home.

Lisa was two years older than Randy and lived next door to his mom with her husband Eric and five year old son Kyle. Sara was five years older and lived a couple of towns over with her husband Mark, the cop, and two daughters Olivia six, and Emma two. We unloaded our luggage from the rental. We had shipped all the gifts to our families a couple of weeks ago, so we were traveling light.

Lisa took Kyle back into her house and said they’d be over a little later, the rest of us made our way to his mom’s house, Randy carried the two girls in. When We walked in the house his mother ran towards us, pushed him aside, grabbed me into a hug and kissed me on the cheek hard, smearing her bright red lipstick on my chilly face. “Kevin, I am so glad to finally meet you. I have been so excited for this visit, I wish you boys could stay longer.” I hugged her back and thanked her for having us.

His mom poured us some eggnog and we went into the homey living room and sat around the fireplace talking. His mom and sister pummeled us with questions about everything from our careers, to our house, to our future plans. Olivia was sitting on Randy’s lap, she noticed his ring and started to turn it on his finger saying, “Uncle Randy, I like your ring.” Lisa looked over at us and said coyly “Yeah Uncle Randy, that sure is a nice ring. Kevin, I see you have a nice ring on too” She smiled with a smug look, obviously fishing for info.

Randy beamed and said, “We got engage last night, and you’re the very first to know.” High pitched screams filled the cozy house as his mother and sister dove across the room hugging and congratulating us. Just then Sara walked in the back door with Kyle and Eric and asked, “What’s all the screaming about?”

“Kevin and Randy got engaged” Lisa yelled from the living room and Sara came running. Everyone was holding our hands, looking at our rings and asking a million questions. “Who asked who, did you set a date? Where are you getting married? Who’s in the wedding?”blah, blah, blah wedding talk. “We literally just got engaged like twelve hours ago. We haven’t discussed any of it yet, we’re still enjoying the moment” Randy said, then told them the story of how he proposed. He made it sound romantic and magical. I guess it kind of was…at least for us.

When he was done with his story I was properly introduced to Eric. Mark, Sara’s husband had to work today, he was going to join us for dinner after his shift. We talked and then moved to the kitchen to help his mom with dinner.

Randy left the room to call his dad about visiting him. When he came back I asked, “Are you ready to go see your dad?” He just shook his head and said, “Change of plans, we’re gonna stay here.” Then he smiled weakly and started helping us with dinner. Everyone else shot knowing looks at each other and the room went silent for a while. Then Sara said “Dad’s an asshole. What did he say to you?” Randy didn’t answer.

His mom shooed the kids into the basement to play and the adults back into the living room, except for Randy who stayed in the kitchen with her, it was obvious she wanted some alone time with him. Sara uncorked the wine and grabbed the glasses as we left the room. “Welcome to the family,” she said handing me a glass of wine “dad’s an asshole.”

“And a homophobe” Eric added.

“Fuck him” Lisa chimed in “We’re glad you’re here. You’re all Randy talks about and I’ve never seen him this happy. It’s so good to finally meet you.”

“Thanks. So, I take it your dad isn’t thrilled with me being here or are engagement.” I said digging for more info.

“HA!” Eric laughed “Larry isn’t thrilled by anyone or anything, don’t take it personally”

“He’s only met Emma once” Said Sara “I don’t think he’s seen any of his grandchildren in over a year, and he lives less than 10 minutes away. He cheated on mom with some young chick, moved out and pretty much forgot we existed. Randy was just 16. He’s tried hard to connect, but Larry’s just a prick, it’s never gonna happen.”

I just listened as they bitched about Larry. Eventually, the subject changed to happier topics and the room was filled with chatter and laughter again. Mark showed up about 6 o’clock (Damn, he was surprisingly hot), and we all sat down to dinner. Randy’s mom, Marylin, went all out ham, turkey, every side dish imaginable, and so many desserts I couldn’t even count. The food was great, the conversation was light and fun, I learned a lot about my new family. I felt welcome. After dinner we all opened gifts. My full attention was on the three beautiful kids. Their eyes lit up as they tore into the packages and thanked everyone for everything, they were so much fun to watch.

A weird thought crossed my mind… if Randy and I have kids, these will be their cousins, and this will be Christmas Eve at Grandma’s house. Normally I’d have been thinking about how hot Mark was, but now, I was more interested in family and the future. Well, I thought to myself, this is new…

To be continued…