Exploring My True Self

I woke up Christmas morning in Randy’s boyhood bedroom with Randy spooning me in the small bed, he kissed my neck as his morning wood rested in my ass trench and wished me a Merry Christmas. His arm was wrapped around me and his hand was on my chest. I grabbed it with my hand and looked at our two rings touching and smiled so hard it hurt.

With everything going on with our careers and heading home for the Holidays we agreed not to exchange gifts, we both kind of broke that rule with the engagement rings I guess. But not really, I mean, they weren’t Christmas gifts. Either way, I can live with it. Christmas Eve with Randy’s family was pretty awesome, I loved his mother, sisters and their families. And seeing those three kids all over Randy and how he just glows around them was awesome. Other than his dad being an asshole, it was a pretty great Holiday so far.

I was looking forward to heading home and seeing my family. I got a text from my mom that Whoops’ flight was delayed, and he didn’t make it home last night. She asked us to pick him up at the airport on our way in. That means I get to see him and hour sooner. Done!

We showered together, got dressed and packed. I was done first and went down to help with breakfast. When I walked into the kitchen Mark had already started making cranberry pancakes, apparently it was a Holiday tradition that Mark brought with him when he joined the family. Mark was standing there in nothing but a tight pair of running shorts. Damn, he was built. I hadn’t really noticed his body last night under that ugly, bulky Christmas sweater. Mark was about 35, shaved head and a perfectly trimmed and shaped black beard. His eyes were bright blue, and his most alluring feature.

“Good morning” Mark bellowed as I entered the room.

“Merry Christmas” I said as I tried not to stare at his incredible body. “How can I help?”

“How are you at frying up eggs and bacon?” He asked

“A freaking pro. Let me at it.” He laughed, and I went to work. We talked and laughed getting to know each other as we worked side by side, Mark was a good guy. The kids soon came running in with Sara behind them. “Merry Christmas, Uncle Kevin” Olivia yelled as Emma ran up to me and hugged my legs.

“Uncle Kevin?”I thought to myself. Nice. I liked it.  Within a few minutes Randy and his mother came down and the kitchen was full of people, chaos, and love. Lisa, Eric, and Kyle came in the back door and joined us. We all sat down and ate breakfast as a family. After spending just one day with these people, I felt like I was one of them. Emma sat on my lap all through breakfast feeding me Cheerios while we all talked.

After breakfast it was time to head to the airport and pick up Whoops on the way to my folk’s house. We grabbed out bags, walked out the front door and headed out to the car with everyone following us and saying their goodbyes.

There was a gold Lincoln sitting in the driveway with the engine running and two people sitting in it. It was Larry and his current young girlfriend. I’m guessing that she was about twenty years old. He got out of the car and walked towards me and Randy. “This must be Keith,” he said as he robotically extended his hand. I shook it and corrected him “Kevin, nice to meet you, sir.”

“Get lost Larry we need to hit the road” Randy said and kept moving forward. Larry stood in front of him.

“Larry? He said, “What happened to dad?”

“You don’t get to ignore your kids for decades, disown your son on Christmas Eve, and keep the title dad. Sorry, Larry.” Randy said with anger in his voice and fire in his eyes. He kept walking past the Lincoln and tapped the passenger-side window as he did and said to the very young woman inside “Good luck with this one” As he gestured his head back towards his father.

Larry followed him out to the rental car as we put our bags in the trunk. The rest of the family just stood there watching. Mark started to step forward to intervein, but Marilyn held him back.

Larry said “I admit didn’t react well to your news. I guess I was just angry”

“You were angry because I told you I was in love and getting married? That’s fucked up, dad.” He said the word “dad” mockingly. “We’re leaving now. We have to pick up Kevin’s brother at the airport, then we’re going to spend Christmas with Kevin’s family. You had your chance yesterday…oh hell you’ve had unlimited chances over the past 30 years and you just didn’t give a damn. Merry fucking Christmas.” Randy slammed the trunk shut and walked back toward the house to say goodbye to his mother and his family. I followed. Larry just stood there for a moment and then got into his car and drove off. He didn’t even attempt to talk to his other children or grandchildren. Frankly, Larry seemed unaffected. He just kind of shrugged it off.

My heart broke for Randy, I knew he was hurting inside.

We said our final goodbyes to the family, Randy hugged his mother for about 10 minutes and thanked her over and over for being there for him his whole life. We all hugged each other and they all stood by the curb and watched us drive away with me behind the wheel. The three kids were upfront waving their arms off.

Randy didn’t say a word during the hour plus drive to the airport. This poor guy wanted so bad to be close to a man that wanted nothing to do with him and it ate him up inside. We pulled into the Arrivals pick-up area. There was Whoops waiting for us, Randy smiled for the first time since we left his mom’s “There he is!” he yelled excitedly. As soon as we pulled up, Whoops threw his backpack in the backseat, jumped in and hugged me from behind and said, “Merry Christmas Bro-mos. Thanks for the lift.”

Then Randy undid his seatbelt squeezed his torso between the two front seats and gave Whoops a huge bro hug. Randy was smiling again. This was what he needed to get him out of his funk, to be surrounded by people that loved him and gave a shit… there was more of that to come at my parents’ house.

“Damn I missed you baby brother” I said looking at him in the rearview mirror.

“I figured you had enough of me at Thanksgiving” He said and we all chuckled. The car was loud and full of conversation as Whoops caught us up on everything that happened in the last month since we saw him, we both listened to the exploits of him and his friends. I was happy to hear that he ended the semester with great grades across the board. He only had one semester left. The drive went by quickly and soon we were pulling into my parents’ driveway. It was only around 1 o’clock but all the Christmas lights were lit and shining dimly through the thin layer of snow. Dad had collected a lot of lights and yard ornaments over the years and every damn one of them was on display.

Mom was yanking the car doors open before I even had it in park. She pulled Whoops out and squeezed him so hard his eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head and she didn’t seem to have any plans of letting go soon. Meanwhile dad and Joanie filed out of the house to greet us. Joanie and I hugged while dad and Randy shook hands “I hear you’re a VP now Randy” dad said wanting to hear all about it. Randy gave him all the details and my dad was truly interested. Too bad his own dad didn’t give a shit.

They kept talking as we went into the house, everything smelled great and the house looked like Christmas, every inch decorated to tacky, midwestern family Christmas perfection. Every novelty singing Santa that ever existed had a place in that house. White lights, colored lights, big bulbs, little bulbs, twinkling lights, mangers, ceramic Christmas trees, plastic reindeer blow-molds dully lit up…all displayed proudly in every room of the house.

The house was loud, tacky, chaotic and smelled awesome, like a combination of turkey, cinnamon and pine needles. I watched Randy talking to my dad, he was glowing again, and it warmed my heart. We sat down to dinner, dad offered up a prayer like he always did thankful for his family all being there, then we devoured the food in front of us.

I helped mom bring out the dessert, when I sat down I clinked my spoon against my glass to shut everyone up for a minute and said “um….I have an announcement,” all eyes were on me as I blurted “Randy and I got engaged.” Instantaneously the room erupted with cheers. It was a repeat of what happened at Randy’s with a million questions being thrown at us.

“It just happened two nights ago. We haven’t had time to talk it through yet. Details will come later.” Then Randy told the proposal story. Again the crowd was riveted as he romanced the hell out of it. Mom and Joanie were crying as they hung on every word, Dad joked about whose parents had to pay for it since there was technically no bride, and Whoops asked if I was gonna wear moms wedding dress.

The mood was perfect as we cleaned up the kitchen and moved into the family room around the tacky, but perfect Christmas tree with the tattered looking angel I had adored for 30 Christmas’s on top. We exchanged gifts, nothing too earthshattering or notable, mom gave us all clothes we’d never wear. She had knitted Randy a huge, bulky gray sweater…I think she forgot he lives in Arizona. He hugged her and genuinely reacted as though it were the best gift he had ever received.

Randy had slipped a tiny box with a card onto Whoops’ pile of gifts when I wasn’t looking. Whoops opened it, there was a key in it. He read the card out loud “Little brother, you’re always welcome at our home. But next time you take you show up unannounced go inside the house, so you don’t piss off our neighbors.” Whoops laughed and hugged his new brother.

After the merriment had died down a bit I pulled Randy away and we drove down to lake Michigan, just a mile or so away. We climbed the giant rocks that bordered the shore like I did when I was a kid, taking Randy to my favorite spot on a huge, flat rock down by the water where no one could see. We looked over the quiet, dark, partially frozen lake and listened to the water hit the rocks. It was a little below 40 degrees out and we were bundled up tight.

“I used to come here all the time when I was in high school to think, and day dream. I said, my warm breath visible in the cold air. I even brought a girl here on a date once. Julie Heatherton, she was a friend of Joanie’s who had a crush on me” I said reminiscing

“Did you get anywhere with her?” Randy asked, both of us still staring out at the water

“Under her shirt, over the bra. It really didn’t do it for me, so I made up some excuse to go home” I said as Randy chuckled and we held hands through our gloves. Then I said “so, now what? We’re engaged. What’s next?

“A big gay waiting worthy of Phoenix’s newest gay power couple” He said and kissed my frozen cheek “I literally have zero expectations other than you, me and our friends and family around us. We can set a date, pick a place, and talk through the details from there. We have time.”

“That sounds awesome. I have a couple of thoughts like getting married behind the resort where we had our first real date overlooking the cliff, with Alex, Adam, Jeff, and Matty all standing beside us” I said

“It all sounds perfect” Randy said as I nuzzled up against his heavily layered body, “We’ll figure it out together.”

“What about after the party? We’ve never talked about where to live, or kids…do we want to go that route? I never even thought about that stuff until I met you. Now I think I want a house and kids, all that shit with you. The person I love and trust most” I said .

“Randy got a huge smile on his frozen face and said “What I want is a life with you. All of that sounds awesome. If it ends up just the two of us, or the two of us with 10 kids, or the two of us with Whoops living on our couch…whatever, that’s awesome too. Whatever life we build is fine by me as long as we build it together. Then he kissed me. I loved this man so much. Knowing he wanted a future with me as badly as I wanted one with him was the biggest turn on in the world.

We started passionately kissing on the rocks in the frigid December cold. Our lips almost freezing together as he tried to grope me with his gloved hands through my jeans. He took off the gloves and started to undo my belt and unzip me.

“Are you fucking crazy” I said, “It’s not even 40 degrees out, my dick will freeze and break off”

“Your dick is tougher than you think. You know I still haven’t made love to my fiancé’” He said pulling down my jeans exposing my limp dick to the cold as and my ass hit the freezing rock. The cold was unbearable. Suddenly his hot mouth engulfed my shriveled manhood and it surprisingly started to grow. It hadn’t been touched in days. I took off my gloves and started groping Randy through his jeans.

When he had my cock hard he stood up and pulled a small bottle of lube out of his pocket “I’ve been waiting for this for days” he said as he stood up and dropped his jeans to his ankles exposing his ass and genitals to the bitter cold. I stood up, my ass numb from the cold. I lined my hard, seemingly frozen dick up with his waiting hole. I could actually see the heat emanating from his ass crack in the freezing cold. I couldn’t believe we were actually doing this out in the open on the rocks, in Wisconsin, in the middle of December at a temperature of almost freezing. But we were. I put the lube, cold and thickened from the temperature, on my popsicle-esque dick and entered my fiancé’s red ass.

Oh my god, the heat on my dick was shocking. It felt wonderful and I got even harder. Randy moaned as he braced himself on the boulders around us and shivered as the cold air hit his perfect ass. I pushed in, “Fuck me hard, Kev. Warm your fiancé up” Up” he said in an urgent tone as he moaned loudly. And fuck him I did. I fucked him with a fury as the friction warmed us both and we forgot about the bitter cold around us. So many new sensations filled us both, I did NOT expect this to be as erotic and satisfying as it was. My pounding made Randy’s cold dick hard and he started to pump, his ass contracting around my now hot missile. FUCK it was so different from any other time I was in him. The cold around us, the heat inside him, all of it working together. We both went from freezing cold to sweating in our heavy pea coats. “I’m cumming” I yelled, my screams muffled by the sounds of the water crashing on the rocks around us as I filled his ass with my seemingly burning cum.

“Cum in me, breed your fiancé, give it to me Ke….uhhhhhh” Randy shouted as he came, his sweet cum landing on the rocks in front of him. Steam emulated from his jizz for a few seconds and then it hardened. Wasted on the cold, cold rocks. Damn, I could’ve swallowed a gallon of it that night. I needed all of him so badly.

I pulled out almost immediately and pulled up my jeans quickly, Randy did the same trying to limit our exposure to the elements. We then embraced and kissed passionately. It was as though the world didn’t exist, but it did. And it was damn cold! So, we walked back to the car and went back to my parent’s house.

The rest of the family was in the family room drinking hot chocolate and watching “A Christmas Story” For the millionth time. Randy and I each grabbed a mug of hot chocolate and went over to the fireplace. We stood with our backs as close as we could get to the fire trying to warm our asses.

“Where did you boys sneak off to?” My mom asked as she sat there knitting god knows what for god knows who.

“I showed Kevin the lake and we climbed on the rocks.” I said

Joanie looked at Randy and said “I hope you got further with him than Julie Heatherton did” Randy, Joanie and Whoops laughed hilariously as I blushed in total embarrassment. Mom and dad just shook their heads, unaffected. Yup. Randy was part of the family now.

To be continued…