Am I gay?

This chapter and the next one are going hand in hand do dont be upset when the end of this chapter is open. Please enjoy and I promise I will post the next chapter ASAP Chapter 4 The holidays came and went and since I live on my one I where glad school started again. My parents died in a freaky accident almost 9 years ago my half sister took me in and gave me an apartment in her house for my 17th birthday. 2 rooms all for myself in an 52 apartment complex. I worked a few hours after school in a coby shop and I still was getting some money from the German government it's called " weisenrente" Altogether I had a good income. Nevertheless I was a little bid lonely without a girlfriend. I found out why Susan didn't made it to the last session . She is fucking around with the math teacher and that for almost half a year now. The last time I talked to her was on x- mas eve and she told me her pregnancy test where positive. " that can not be mine " I told her and she told me about her relationship with Mr Dressel. Lonely as I was I tried to find other chicks only to fuck around with, but none of the girls turned me really on. Ether they where boring in bed or they didn't wanted to do what I was asking for They all declined to rimm my ass or put a finger inside. I started to jerk of more often now and fingerd my ass myself, I even started to use carrots to satisfy my needs. I thought a lot about Sean and his gray-green eyes and his beautiful 9 inch dick and not to forget his bubble ass. Yes I missed him but I wouldn't never admit that in public. Close to almost every climax i had,my fantasies included or where around Sean. I also bought me the porn he had brought on the last night. The scene with the white guy eating that chick out and the black guy gave the white guy a blow job where my favorite to jerk of to. I also asked myself if there would have been more between us when i would had been quiet that one night or if he would still be here. But that was could it,would it questions u can not answer. Spring went by and in June I finally turned 18. I had enough money on my savings account that I decided to book a flight to my aunt in the USA. She also lived in LA but what where the odds to pump into him in a town that size. I had no address or phone number I don'tknow where the Goodmanns to find. Mid August I finally flew out of Germany. On the 11 hour flight to LA I still was hoping almost praying that a wonder would bring us together somehow even I wasn't sure if he felled the same for me. My aunt picked me up "aunty how can I find somebody in LA " " do u have a address or a phone number " No unfortunately nothing only a last name" "Nope she said there's no way " is it a girl " she asked and smiled at me. " no just a close buddy " I said sadly She smiled even more at me At her house I met John her husband and Greg her son Greg is 22 years old and linebacker in the Carson football team. With 6.3 and 280 pound he where huge huge In my auntys house they always have a welcome party and a go away party so all of Greg's friends where there .his friends are Jesus, Antony and Andrew .They all welcomed me and I had my first beer emptied in 5 min. Even when the bud lite is like water with a flavor u can get pretty drunk lol Well I was glad so I could forget about Sean for a few days. On Saturday we decided to go bowling in a close by bowling alley. I bowled before and where good at it average points200 The only thing is I wasn't able to by beer at the bar in there. I had to stay sober dammit. My turn came and I started with a strike they all cheered in union and clapt high five with me. With them already getting drunk it grew louder by the minute. Suddenly I heard somebody calling my name " V V is that u " I looked around and saw Sean on one of the other lanes. He came running toward me and hugged me like crazy " I missed u you motherfucker" he said I couldn't believe my eyes. Here he was handsome and live in front of me. I introduced him to the boys and Greg gave me a smile bright as a neon sign "what?" i asked "he is a close friend". Nobody knows how close he really where to me. I was so happy I had my best game ever 258 points Sean and I agreed to meet the next day at the Galleria mall in Torrance At the red robin mhhhh, I was early as always but I saw Sean and Sven inside the red robin already sitting on a table Hey how r u both I asked and Sean came running and hugged me again fiercely and Sven hugged me too. "Hey ur cellphone is even bigger than ur brothers. " I said to Sven and he looked at me puzzled. I started to tell them what happened after they left. Susan and her teacher, my failure to find a other girlfriend and so on but not the fact that I missed Sean so badly. When Sven excused himself for the bathroom I asked Sean " did u tell him everything even the last night" Yes he said he knows all about it "How old is he " " he turned 16 three weeks ago Sven came back and I changed the subject "Do u got a girlfriend now I asked Sean and he told me that he is in a relationship but wanted to end it. Sven where verry quiet the whole time until he asked me if I wanna come to a party with them later on " yeah please come with us " Sean said but glanced at Sven and shook his head. " what the heck why not" I excused myself for a pee break and left the table. At the restroom I locked in the mirror and thought. Is it to obvious that I'm glad to see him and why was that , u r not gay asshole! Getting out of the door I heard Sean talking to his brother ..... " u know that he will find out about me if he comes with us so why did u do it " Sven saw me first and gave his brother a hint that I was out of the bathroom. " everything all right I asked. Of course Sean said " I'm gonna pick u up at ur place at 7 pm I'm driving a white camero with red strips " I called Greg to pick me up and was on my way out when Sean grabbed me and hugged me. Sven looked sad but I thought maybe the had a fight while I was at the bathroom. He hugged me for a long time and whispered in my ear" v u don't know how much I missed u" He must have a new cellphone now because I didn't feel the old one on my leg anymore. Finally he let go of me and I was about to say by to Sven but he where our the door already. " what is with ur brother" I asked " don't know ,teenager u know". Later that day,Sean honked outside and I where out of the door after giving my aunt a hug. Ur late I told him when I opend the door. Sven where on the backseat already. I said hello to both but only Sean answered me. What club we r going to and where is it" I wanted to know. " relax man we have to drive a little bid so chill out. "Where is the club ?" It's up in Palmdale" Sean said " that's far away " " only three hour and the club opens at 11 pm anyway" I felt the tension between the two brothers but i didn't say anything instead i asked Sean to tell me all about his girlfriend. Sven made a funny noise and i thought he said "what ever " covert in a cough. Sean glanced at him thru the rear mirror but said to me " there's nothing to tell u, i wanna break up my relationship tonight because I felt in love with somebody else". He raised his voice at the end of his sentence and gave Sven a dirty glance again. Ok i said but sensed that he don't wanted to continue with that conversation. Since I didn't had a lot of sleep lately, being around with Greg and his friends,I dozed of in the car. I don't know that I slept all the way until I felt a hand on my shoulder and Sean said " V we r here wake up" Stepping out of the car I saw a small building and a neon sign saying " BackDoorClub" but only back and door where lid so it only said "BackDoor" What a funny name for a club Inside the club the crowd where dancing and singing to " village people" YMCA" There has been young and old people the oldest one was about 55 and where talking to a young guy in a tight muscle shirt and tiny tiny shorts. He looked like a male hooker .......wait a minute I was in a gay bar BackDoor YMCA ,that was a gay bar. With shock and fear in my eyes I turned around to ask Sean but he saw my eyes and quickly excused himself" I have to make a phone call" he said and vanished. My thought: why was I here, did I ever slipped something out that I jerked to the porn we watched together wishing the white guy would be me and Sean was the black guy who gave me a bj and fingerd my ass. Or that I used 8 inch carrots now wishing it would be his dick. Yes maybe I ... No I was sure I didn't. Nobody knows about that but why was I here I needed a drink but in the USA ur not allowed to order alcohol under 21. B S u can die for ur country with 17 but u can not get drunk. I asked the bartender for a coke but he came close to my face I thought he tried to kiss me but he said " u looks old enough to get a drink so I ordered " whiskey please make it a triple." I drained the glass and ordered a second one I taped Sven on his shoulder harder than I wanted to and asked no I yield at him " why am I here " " Sean has to explain things... He started but I yelled at him" no u asshole invited me to come with u so tell what's going on mother fucker" with one hand I grabbed his collar and with the other hand I gabbed the next glass on the table and drained it. I saw tears in his eyes and he said " I want u to know the son of a bitchs real face " i led go of him and he turned away. We must have yield at each other in German because I heard somebody saying" that must be the German,Sean is talking about for month". " yes I am do you got a problem with that" I fired back He raised his hands in a defensive way and smiled in my face " Hohhot bad mood,hey my name is Biff" Yes sorry I said calming down or better the alcohol did. I started to getting a buzz I could tell. He than asked " u r German right, r u circumsized " What the heck is that I asked " we'll do u have a clean head or do u still got that little skin on your wiener" Everybody where laughing except Sven. " we'll my for skin is probably as long as your dick" I said back. now I had the laughs on my side I saw his tongue licking his lips Biff suddenly garbed my hand" lets dance"he said and on the way to the dance floor I took a other glass of one of the tables and emptied it. I only could tell it was no whiskey. They played the theme song from dirty dancing. And he could dance dirty He danced around me with his crotch on my jeans than he kneed down in my back and pushed his face onto my ass. Drunk as I was I played his game und leaned forward a bid. He than came around on his knees and his face went straight to my aroused dick in my jeans. Yes all this turned me really on. With both hands behind his head, I pulled him even closer on my boner The crowd cheered and clapped to the music. That must have been the moment my legs gave up to carry my body. All of a sudden i was sitting on the floor. I felt hands under my armpits. Sean and Sven lifted me up and guided me to the table. Sean said" V I want u to meet my boyfriend Snoopy". Then everything went black