Gay Selfies Blog

These guys epitomize class. Their partially to fully nude bodies in various states of erection are the gold standard of high society. They have both vim and verve and should be welcome at all the finest dinner parties and operatic recitals.

I may have a warped definition of class.

But you have to admit that all of these images together can add up to a wonderfully classy date with one special man. Before he gets ready to take you out for the day, he has to climb a ladder to do that house repair you requested. Don't you love a handy guy (who gives handies)?

Look at things from the point of view of a penis. Sure, underwear can be comfy. Everyone needs support at least some of the time. Penises can't always go it alone. 

But sometimes they just need to breathe. They need fresh air and sometimes sunshine at the same time. A penis with Vitamin D deficiency is not a life goal. That's Vitamin Dick if you were wondering.

Technically, just whipping out the cock would be enough, but sometimes a penis gets lonely and needs the rest of the body to match its exposure. So the penis will take its owner for a walk in public. Or sometimes the owner take the penis for a walk. They're a team.

This one would definitely be in the running at the Kink Olympics. That's the not real global event in which kinks compete in various categories, including popularity. And a totally visible cock swinging in strategically tight (or loose) sweatpants, its outline burned into the brain, is one of the main competitors.

Freeballing in sweat shorts carries some additional risk as you can see from the one example here. That head exposure is either grounds for disqualification or first place.

In this sport, lighter colored sweats seem to be the most common, so maybe the guy in the dark sweat pants felt he had to go the extra mile (of cock) to stand out.

If you're looking for an article of clothing to highlight yet teasingly hide the asshole, a thong is it. Keep this in mind for your next job interview at a Fortune 500 company, as I assume they are all powered by a combination of cutthroat capitalism and anal sex. Though I never even took Econ 101, so what do I know?

I did take Advanced Cultural Studies in Thongs and of course got an A. Plenty of "A"s actually. We spent a hole whole week studying the complex dynamics of the negative space thong, as shown in the guy here "wearing" a tan line thong made of your imagination.

Speedo is a brand name but it ranks right up there with brand names that sound generic like Jell-o, Bandaid, Jeep and Kleenex. Which is perfect because I'm going to need a Kleenex to wipe myself off and a Bandaid for my knee after I pick up a soaking wet Speedo guy in my Jeep and suck him so hard his brain turns to Jell-o.

I don't understand how some Speedos go transparent when wet. That doesn't seem to be an issue in the Olympics so it must be all the performance enhancing drugs that have a side effect of turning wet Speedos opaque. Or it's just that white or light speedos are always an exposure risk.

And what a wonderful risk.

Do folks still call a guy's pecs "tits" or has that gone out of style? Does anyone whisper at the gym, or shout at a bar: "Hey muscle tits, I hope you're into getting your tits worshipped." I sure don't know but whether they're pecs or tits, the fascination is the same.

Some guys almost seem to wear theirs like the chest plate of a suit of armor. And thanks to male nipple privilege, in which men get to be bare chested with impunity while women get crap for voluntarily bearing their nipples, you get to do plenty of bare pec spotting.

Whether helped in their hang by ball stretchers or genetics, or some combination, big and low-hanging balls are a fine thing to rest your eyes on. They should replace those diagnostic charts at the optometrist with pictures of big, hanging sacks (once the patient turns 18 and signs a release form).

I would also like to propose big pouch, see-through jockstraps for athletes. And no pants. As I'm not really connected to the garment industry, we could just skip that and athletes could simply pull their pants down and spread their legs. As long as I got to choose which athletes, because professional golfers should not be viewed below the waist. Keep those plaid pants on.

This is not an Adidas ad. Though Adidas would be smart to advertise here, considering the massive amount of boners that inhabit their gear. And the fact that their company mission statement (for the penis side of the company) is "Strive to create gear for fetishists to put their boners inside of." 

Mission accomplished.

They don't own the concept of nylon shorts of course, just a large enough share of the market that nylon short kink photos often have their logo. This is just like how guys naked in the woods except for running shoes often have Nikes on. Finally some Fortune 500 companies do something decent for society.

Depending where you live, pubic nudity may be illegal automatically. Or it may be fine (even if right in front of authorities) unless someone directly complains and then you don't put clothes on or leave. And in those situations, it's all about context.

So a guy flashes his cock on the train. But he doesn't strip down to nothing and masturbate flat on his back. Because flashing cock is a train activity. Public masturbation and even ejaculation is a street fair activity. Well, depending on which street fair.

It's a rare body part that can be seen from the front and back. Sure, a demonically possessed person can twist their head 360 degrees, but that doesn't quite have the charm of being able to view a healthy ball sack from behind. 

The way it sags and swings and bounces can be hypnotic and so inviting.

But if the demonically possessed person has a big swinging ball sack too, then that's just the best of both worlds, isn't it? Just remember to bring your holy water and/or lube. No offense to the demonically-possessed community intended.

The cake pop trend needs to end. A single small blob of compressed cake on the end of a stick gives you the benefit of portion control, but mainly gives the seller the benefit of charging way more for cake than the universe should allow. So enough with cake pops. We need to move on to cock pops.

That's a lollipop cock. Flared head. Or a thick cock with head to match. Because nobody will complain about a lollipop with a fat, suckable stick.

Now you can't quite know if a guy has a cock pop between his legs until it's fully hard. No matter how flared out a cock head is, when it's soft, it's soft. So if you're hungry for cock pops, you better get busy searching.

Yes, that giant bulge guy on the train counts as exposure. He knows exactly what he's doing. The closed eyes are a way to give folks permission to stare. And even if he is asleep and popping a boner that way, he knows his own boners often come when he sleeps so he's still exposing himself.

Seconds after that picture was taken, his shorts burst in a million pieces from the pressure. His shorts ejaculated.

The other guys are all going places too, including the admittedly fuzzy but worth it one snapping a selfie on a red-eye flight. Or in this case, it's a moon glow blue flight. Whatever it is, he's insane for that level of risk. Putting on the overhead light of all things. He may have inadvertently called for assistance.

Finally a sexual interest I don't understand! At all! Once you get past the obvious "pearl necklace" association, this is basically naked guys in necklaces. That could be a crucifix or dog tags or something entirely different. 

But probably not actual pearls. Unfortunately. I'd much prefer imitation pearls. Why hurt an oyster for glamour?

Okay, I guess I ever so slightly get it, because I'm suddenly picturing shirtless lifeguards with a corded whistle around the neck. Or a sexy guy fleeing a sexy vampire so of course the non-vampire sexy guy is wearing a garlic necklace.

Sometimes a guy has to express himself and he may not have a facility with writing poetry or painting a still life of three mangos and a pear. But he can expose to express.

And maybe if he's multi talented, paint a still life of his moving penis and ass and then write a poem about it.

I definitely need to practice some immediate responses if I run into one of these situations. Like for the stealthy penis selfie guy at the gym, I could say: "If you want to do a bicep double flex at the same time, I can take your picture for you."

You may have figured out I like to promote public exposure because I'm immune to the consequences. I won't be cited for indecent exposure (because my pants tend to stay on) but I'm happy to come across it in-person or evidence of it online.

Also, as a practical matter when someone is nude they can't conceal any non-metaphorical weapons. I like that. Though they are still free to break my heart.

So strip. Peel off the clothes. Remove the coverings. Splash some futuristic chemical on your sartorial splendor until your garments dissolve in a flurry of fireworks and music.