Kink Spotlight: Big Hanging Sacks

Whether helped in their hang by ball stretchers or genetics, or some combination, big and low-hanging balls are a fine thing to rest your eyes on. They should replace those diagnostic charts at the optometrist with pictures of big, hanging sacks (once the patient turns 18 and signs a release form).

I would also like to propose big pouch, see-through jockstraps for athletes. And no pants. As I'm not really connected to the garment industry, we could just skip that and athletes could simply pull their pants down and spread their legs. As long as I got to choose which athletes, because professional golfers should not be viewed below the waist. Keep those plaid pants on.

Technically, my understanding is balls hang in the first place because the hang (and automatic retraction upward) is the body's way to regulate their temperature, as the impregnation juice needs to be lower than the overall body temperature. I've forgotten how sperm is used for impregnation, as I thought it was just for splattering across a guy's face. But I'll trust the experts.

So I don't know if ball stretching is some defamation of thousands of years of testicular evolution. I do know it's not the best look on some folks, like when the balls are so low they dip into the toilet, even when the guy is standing up and peeing.

But mainly, when I'm staring between a guy's legs while he's sitting on a toilet, I don't want to see his balls get wet from anything but me. Call me a romantic.

Read our Extra Big Dicks review