25 Apr 2020
How would you like to be kneeling at the foot of this ladder? I sure would. Bearded stud Nolan and a two-fisted curved cock with a plump head, and he works his meat while sitting on this ladder.
Nolan identifies as straight, but he's happy to get his dick sucked wherever he can. He's appeared in 30 videos at Straight Naked Thugs, including ten side-by-side strokes with other guys and a couple of group jerk-offs. And he's gotten his niner sucked by a hungry cocksucker, too.
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21 Apr 2020
I could fall for Kane Fox, if I were 20 years younger and thought I could keep up with this handsome twunk. He's debuting this week in his first video with Helix Studios, and I'm pretty sure that he's going to be a big hit. The way he eye fucks the camera will guarantee you'll take a second look at him.
He's got a trim, smooth body, a hot ass, and a good-sized dick, not to mention a couple of interesting tatts including "Indomitable" running down the underside of his right arm. Now that's not a word that doesn't show up in a lot of ink. Kane's first fuck flick is coming up shortly and Jacob Hansen is going to introduce him to the Helix porn set.
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2 Mar 2020
19-year-old Ned Dunning is a straight lad with a well-defined body. He's got an amazing bum and thick hairy thighs, and when he flexes his arms we get a glimpse of his hairy armpits. But I'm loving the treasure trail crawling out of his boxer briefs.
"Ned is one of those lads who once hard, stays hard and has a solid cock for the entire shoot!" says English Lads. After some more posing, Ned jacks off and cums all over himself, then English Lads follows him into the shower to watch him wash off his sweaty and sticky body.
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21 Apr 2019
Straight footballer Danny Davis takes his turn in front of the English Lads cameras. He poses and does press-ups before stripping and playing with his uncut cock. He changes into his football kit midway through the scene and works his hard-on through his shorts, and even stretches out the leg hole to show off his bum hole. He lies back and continues jacking off until he blows a big load of cum all over himself.
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23 Mar 2019
This guy has a problem. As he explains it in the video caption: "I can't fit in this pair if I get hard." So he's stretching out his underwear and taking us along for the ride.
You might think he's hard in there, but as he reveals at the end, his big cock isn't yet fully hard. I'm hoping we can all support him in his struggles. Maybe if he masturbates enough while in his thong, the fabric can further stretch, accommodating him at 75% hardness.
I think him at 100% hard is not a possibility without tearing the fabric or giving him a cock muscle strain. Though, I'd be at the ready to nurse his cock back to full health and full staff.
Though I could not be trusted to do is laundry. None of his underwear would make it past me. And that says a lot considering I despise pastels. it goes back to a bad experience eating sherbet in the 1980s. Major pastel overload.
I much prefer overstuffed underwear. And hand over bulge. And over-achieving, over-endowed, over masturbators, over exhibitionists. That's a fine kind of overload.
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16 Mar 2019
No, really. The only thing we don't see is the duffel bag initially messaging him on OkCupid and after a whirlwind instant message romance, taking him out to a romantic dinner at the Olive Garden on a weekly basis.
Then the seductive powers of breadsticks and scratchy fabric took over. His asshole quivered in anticipation as the duffel bag presented him with bouquets of plastic roses and boxes of Cadbury chocolates from the drug store.
Your asshole would melt with need too if you saw a duffel bag holding roses and chocolates. It's an impressive gesture even for something that has hands and exponentially more for a handless creature to manage.
Also, considering all the job discrimination duffel bags face, it's a wonder it was able to manage the expense of dinner and presents. But love is a powerful force and will always find a way. To a pervert's asshole.
The only place I've ever seen such an interaction before is in a pilates class. Though that was more about building abdominal and thigh strength, not so much about love.
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2 Mar 2019
In this video, titled "TEASING MY BULGING HARDON WEARING WET RIPPED UNDERWEAR," the guy recites poetry by Lord Byron while gradually pulling his underwear down and edging his cock-ringed, angry hard penis.
His wet, green and tight underwear is the perfect backdrop to the opening verse:
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
Whoops, I may have have had another browser window open on a poetry channel while I was watching this. Mistakes happen. Though Lord Bryon, who had plenty of homosexual encounters in his day (two centuries ago) would approve.
Though he would likely wonder what magical device could possibly record such vivid imagery, almost more color than real life allows, and also why someone would document evidence of taboo behavior such as this for the authorities to use to justify punishment.
This guy has plenty of similar videos by the way, but I liked this one as more of his face shows than in the others. Whoops again. I should say countenance, not face. Have to made Lord Byron proud.
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16 Feb 2019
It's a tale as old as time, or at least as old as electricity was harnessed, because vibrators were invented pretty soon after. And that tale is: Man meets vibrating cock sleeve. Man plays with vibrating cock sleeve. Man noisily ejaculates. Man continues masturbating after ejaculation. Man posts video of it all.
Pretty much a Tuesday morning for this guy.
Now he doesn't need the electrical assistance, but clearly he's up for the experimentation. With masturbation, as with any kind of sexual activity, keeping it fresh can be good. Heck, take yourself out on a date once in a while and get that self-seduction going.
No, I don't mean going out to a restaurant or the movies alone. Well, either could work, like if it's a mostly empty restaurant with very poor customer service so you're left alone after they bring you your meal. Or if you're in the back row of whatever is the most unpopular movie playing at that time.
And in both cases, cover your lap with a coat. Nobody will suspect anything, except your coat will completely know what's happening. Or just stay home and do your thing. You'll save on the travel time, and if you like to oil up like this guy, you won't ruin the tablecloth or theater seat. They hate that.
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12 Feb 2019
Here's a kink based totally on assumptions tying the natural aging process of hair follicles to a range of unrelated characteristics. Like that somehow a guy with salt and pepper hair is distinguished, confident, stylish, masculine, adventurous, and (like salt and pepper themselves) seasoned.
But illogical associations are involved in the majority of kinks so this one isn't unusual in that way. And projecting meaning onto an image is a completely logical, practical thing to do when consuming porn. As for in-person interactions, assuming things about someone based on their hair is pretty much ill-advised.
But if there happens to be an eagerly naked and ready-to-go guy with salt and pepper hair in your general vicinity, there may be some conclusions you can draw.
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9 Feb 2019
Though this is a quick video, I have a feeling he spends quite a bit of his days doing this. Or maybe I'm wrong. Instead of lazily jacking off in a chair, maybe he does other things entirely.
Like lazily jacking off on a couch. Or lazily jacking off in the shower. Or lazily jacking off on his bed. Or if it's a Thursday at 7:32 PM, energetically jacking off in his open window with all the lights on so his neighbor can see.
Because he knows when his neighbor gets off work. And when his neighbor likes to get off.
So when jacking off is his default action, and videoing it for strangers is pretty automatic also, he doesn't need to figure out what's going to be on his daily calendar. Hand to cock, hand to chest, hand to all of him, it sorts itself out.
He just has to make sure that in certain public situations he doesn't start lazily jacking off. Like if he's giving a speech at a hot air balloon manufacturer convention. Or actually, that would be okay as I think isolated masturbation is pretty much what hot air balloon rides are for. That and spraying ejaculate on beautiful landscapes.
I think it's called Earth bukkake.
Still, I wonder what's he's thinking about while he's rubbing and tugging. I'm guessing not much. Must be nice.
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2 Feb 2019
This guy leaves little to the imagination, except I can't solve the mystery of what the "D" stands for in the video title "Muscle Surfer Wrecking His Mancunt While Gooning On A Huge D."
Is he referring to a high milligram Vitamin D supplement? He's in California so I can probably rule that out.
Maybe a diaper? Probably not as he seems quite continent.
He can't be referring to a dick as based on his apparent appetites, I don't think, even considering his ego, that he'd call his own dick huge.
Maybe development? Like he gets turned on by immoral, gentrifying real estate development. When he sees small businesses and affordable housing torn down, displacing people and community, replaced by soulless high-rise offices or luxury housing with chain store retail below, he precums a gallon and orgasms in his brain?
No, that's Jeff Bezos.
Maybe doobie? Nah, I don't see him toking on anything, much less a "Huge D"-qualifying blunt.
If only I weren't so distracted by the large dildo he's wrecking his mancunt with, maybe I could figure out the mystery of the "Huge D." Oh well.
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5 Jan 2019
Here's a guy who knows how to use a bed. Sure, sleep's a thing, but really laying back and jacking off is pretty much the point. And being naked except for athletic socks.
When people do those black light tests on hotel room sheets, it's amazing they aren't entirely cum-soaked, even after having gone through the wash.
This guy is probably at home though, considering the camera set up and light streaming in. So the stage is set for him to masturbate until he lets out some cum hands free. He shows expert restraint in that moment.
Because he knows he's going to regrasp himself in a moment and work out what remains inside him. I'm sure he'd also be an expert conversationalist at dinner, if by dinner you mean he takes all his clothes off except his socks and masturbates into the mashed sweet potatoes.
If you run into him in public, I suggest the compliment "You look really good with cum on your beard."
While that doesn't feature in this video, I'm assuming it does in others. The guy can't keep it in.
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29 Dec 2018
He's so methodical about all this. Soap up. That's the real shower part. Then fuck a Fleshjack, pull out and squirt. I wonder if this is the 100th time he's done this or the 400th. He has needs after all.
When his shower is over, I wonder if he retires to his bed and starts masturbating. Maybe he has Fleshjacks stationed at the ready around his home. Including, hopefully, one in the guest bedroom.
Of all those HGTV shows like House Hunters and its spin-offs, plus all the remodeling shows, you'd think there were some folks who were kinky fuckers who were looking for a place with a perfect set up for a dungeon or other sex room. Houses are generally not staged with fresh cookies and Fleshjacks in the kitchen.
The closest they get is when there is a large shower or hot tub that is clearly designed for more than one person, and they joke about all fitting in there, or having a party. But they don't mean that kind of party. Ha ha.
Or maybe when people talk about wanting a "man cave," beyond the obvious acknowledgment that it's good for couples to have alone time, I wonder if that urge for the perfect, out of the way room to watch sports on a big screen TV in peace is really about watching porn on a big screen TV in peace.
So I hope this shower jacker is a real estate agent on the side in real life and he gives me a tour in the future. He'd leave out cookies and Fleshjacks for sure. And hopefully leave his big cock hanging out of his dress pants while he gives me a tour.
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8 Dec 2018
Isn't this what you do every day? Plug yourself on camera with a dildo and ejaculate on your feet? No? Well, that's fine because that's what this guy is for. It's important everyone find their purpose in life.
I'm sure he does other things in life though, like volunteering for Habitat for Humanity. While everyone else is working together to build housing for people with none, he'll be right by their side, plugging himself on camera with a dildo and ejaculating on his feet.
Or possibly he volunteers for a beach cleanup organization. While everyone else is working together to remove refuse from the beach in an effort to minimize damage to the environment and harm to animal and plant life in and out of the ocean, he'll be right by their side, plugging himself on camera with a dildo and ejaculating on his feet.
Though, to be fair, maybe he volunteers for the NDFECA. That's the National Dildo and Feet Exhibitionists Council of America. With such an important organization, you'd think his focus at council meetings would be plugging himself on camera with a dildo and ejaculating on his feet.
But actually, he's just responsible for bringing snacks, making coffee and taking meeting minutes. And, most importantly, not ejaculating on the snacks, coffee or minutes. He hasn't succeeded yet but everyone has appreciated his attempts.
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7 Dec 2018
If you don't speak Spanish, you won't know that Grueso's name means "thick." I don't know if that's the porn name he picked for himself or the nickname given to him by satisfied bottoms who enjoyed riding his fat uncut cock. Grueso is bisexual, but he's a top-only guy, and he shoots a big load.
There was a technical glitch in his first video with Latin Boyz, so he had to come back the following day and shoot another load. He did, and it was bigger than his first one.
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