Gay Voyeur Blog

Those guys in the movie theater are sure brave. They aren't waiting for the blowjob that will be happening during the actual movie because they aren't into the Hollywoodization of blowjobs. Nope. They're all for the real thing.

Though you have to wonder if they'd be as into it in privacy. Is it the risk that makes it exciting? Because I don't think the theater staff allows flash photography. They prefer blowjobs to be in the dark. Especially during the horrible Transformers 3.

You're going to want to get special glasses to safely view naked men in public. Otherwise you'll burn out your sexual retinas. Luckily these special glasses are widely available.

And they're called eyelids and neck muscles. Basically just close your eyes and turn away as needed so as not to fill your pants with ejaculate. Unless you're into that. Then stare away.

If you happen to spot a naked guy in public or semi-public, do not by shy about gawking. That's what gawking was invented for. Depending what time of day or night it is and where you are, sometimes the meaning of gawking includes masturbating.

As in "I was uncontrollably gawking at the team of naked guys." See how masturbation is built into that? Obviously.

That's the thought bubble over most of these guys' heads. Because they don't need to scream it when it's true. Though I bet the group of naked guys cheering the bike race while naked are screaming it.

So what's a group of naked guys called? If a group of crows is a murder and a group of lions is a pride and a group of dolphins is a pod, then a group of naked guys is definitely called a party.

Being naked is fun. And if you're like me, it's especially fun to be a naked bottom. By which I mean being on the receiving end of seeing naked guys, their naked, exposed bodies penetrating my mind. 

That's probably not the naked bottom thing you were thinking. Though I suppose they could coexist. Just probably not handcuffed to a tree in public.

Because what did the tree ever do to deserve that? It's not like trees subscribe to the Naked Bondage Bottom of the Month Club and each month a different bottom is bound to the tree. Because what tree could afford that?

Sure a guy could try and say "I took my clothes off because it was hot out." Or "My clothes slipped off my sweaty body in the heat." Or "When it's hot out, I get incredibly erect thinking about how I'm going to take off my clothes in public and expose myself to strangers."

Well maybe that last one isn't even in the excuse category.

Hitchhike. Get dick sucked. Stand there doing nothing. Run. Bike. Flash.

And from the point of view of onlookers, it gets more variable.

Like ignore the naked hitchhiker or pick up the naked hitchhiker. If you're on the fence about that one, keep a towel handy in your vehicle. As nobody likes sitting bare-assed on hot vinyl. Except hot vinyl fetishists.

We're beyond Nakedness 101 here. Moving into a higher level class. Or no class.

I'm all for naked wrestling, especially when it's guys whose muscles are extremely perceptible. Which is not the most scrutable compliment in a loud bar. "Your muscles are extremely perceptible!" Unless you are consensually squeezing his bicep to drive home the point. 

These guys are pretty damn naked. They are also damn pretty naked. And I will not be saying out of disappointment: "Pretty naked. Damn."

Except for clothing optional festivals, seems the more people are around when someone is more naked the more likely the person is acting totally casual about it. Technically in a lot of places nudity is totally legal. You just sort of have to stop it if someone complains.

Which would most likely never be me, though I can think of some exceptions. Like I don't want to see Kermit the Frog naked. Not because I don't but because Miss Piggy would be jealous and kick my ass.

I can neither confirm nor deny these bulging bulges are from Bulgaria. But they are from my dream country of Bulgekistan. Which is not led by a fascist at all though occasionally nudity is highly encouraged via a well-lubed propaganda sex machine.

I can also say you're totally wrong about something. If you think that all these bulge exposures aren't fully intentional. Sure most are casual moments, but that's totally the point. Casual exposure is still exposure and as a bonus doesn't tend to arouse suspicion, just arouse arousal.

Naked men everywhere is either terrifying or awesome, depending on the men. Like if you're at a restaurant, probably you don't want to see naked men everywhere. But if you're in the restaurant parking lot, then totally bring on the men.

So many awesome things happen in parking lots, like blowjobs and stolen kisses. And maybe stolen hubcaps.

I don't know who the hell or why the hell that swarm of guys is on that fence. I guess a belated invasion minus the Trojan horse. Or they are drunk and crazy.

Even the guy in the subway is on his way somewhere bright and sunny. Like the fancy rooftop deck at the jailhouse. Where other prisoners will be scandalized but they'll get over it.

As for the rest of the folks, take a bright day and remove most if not all your clothes, and you have their secret to life.

I do question running a race mostly naked. It's important to have some testicular support. And I don't mean emotional. Although emotional testicular support would be quite appreciated by many.

Fucking in public is generally considered to be fucking in public whether or not the guys are naked or not. So if you're going to fuck in public, you may as well be fucking naked.

Unless you want to do the slick thing of wearing a raincoat with a slit up the back and dropping your pants below the raincoat. Makes for easy access. Though people may be suspicious why the person behind you is so close behind you and seems to be making a certain recognizable type of thrusting motion. Plus your moans may give it away, so bring a sock to bite on.

Pulling a guy's pants down in public is totally hot, I mean wrong. Really really wrong. Even if you want to see him with his pants down and shower him with praise and semen. It's wrong because it's nonconsensual and just sketchy and mean and horrible.

So thank the cosmos there's a plethora of guys who pull their own pants down wherever. Thank you to all the self pants puller downers for brightening our days.

No idea if these guys are actually nice but they're not doing anything nasty. Just being naked in public, innocently going about their penisy, assy, titty business.

Considering how we all slog through mundane activities, nudity could sure brighten our days and that of onlookers. Or simply give the police something to do.