Gay Voyeur Blog

So when the most sane naked public guy is the guy who lets his jeans be pulled down at the bar, you know you're in Naked Man Land.

At any given time, unless you live north of the Arctic Circle, you're generally not very far from Naked Man Land. Apparently if you're most anywhere, you're already there.

It's just all about timing. Being near the guys who just don't give a fuck. Or they do give a fuck but the only fuck they give is that they get to fuck. Because even if the guy's not hard, casual nudity just makes folks think of the guy in other naked situations too.

The sign on his front door reads "Gone Fishing" (right next to a sign saying "And Totally Gone Clothes").

I'm about as big a fan of fishing as fish but since I'm presently above water and not fooled by bait, I will honestly be a fool for his bait. Which is a dreadful pickup line if I were to flirt with him on the open water.

He seems like he'd be into it though. And likely to spring a boner. Boners, beer, and whatever the hell name of that fish is he caught. Patrice? Laverne? Sylvester? That would be a good afternoon for him.

I know when I'm going to buy food from a truck or shop I take off everything except my sneakers. At which point it makes sense to pay by sliding genitals on a credit card reader or just ejaculating out of nowhere. As long as the ejaculation to dollar exchange rate is in my favor.

You never know with the economy. Sometimes an ejaculation is only worth 15 cents. If you're George Clooney. Because he has publicly had so many they are devalued. Him and Colin Farrell (who at one point was a well-known actor).

In the meantime, "Welcome to Pennsylvania" says the naked guy. I assume by Pennsylvania he means his seemingly sexually twisted mind. That is a complement.

Does your body repel clothes? Does your zipper unzip itself? Do your pants fall off when you blink?

Then you too can be publicly obscene. And I'll give you a gold star for it. That little stick-on gold star that says you've done well. You've done the right thing. Your life is going smashingly.

Though the next moment you may be arrested for public lewdness because you were getting jacked off on the street, I still applaud you.

What's this "clothes" thing people keep talking about? Because whatever they are, these guys never quite heard of them. Or just think of them as something quite temporary and inconsequential.

I hope I end up meeting one of these guys in a normally fully-clothed situation and he just happens to be in a zero clothes moment.

Like I go shopping for a couch and the sales guy just happens to be naked. Which is totally a plus to build trust since he can speak from the heart (and ass) about being naked on a particular couch. I'm guessing leather may be too squeaky when your sweaty ass is riding it. 

If you're the roommate of a guy who's going out to expose himself in public, what do you say? "Have a dick-wagging, dick-sucking good time, buddy!" 

Or maybe just a simple "Call me if you need to get bailed out, buddy!"

Flashing isn't just the guy opening up his trench coat to reveal the only thing he's wearing underneath is another trench coat, then opening that trench coat to reveal a huge, dangling penis.

Because otherwise everyone would be buying stock in trench coat companies. And, if you want to complete the pervert outfit, scuffed up black dress shoes with laces that are too long.

Nope, flashers also create opportunities for eager watchers, not just a wake of offended people decrying their scandalous nudity.

After asking nicely, of course, then fuck everyone. And by fuck I mean fuck. By which I mean anything that falls under the fucking umbrella.

Including having sex under an umbrella.

So like spanking would come under fuck heading. Especially if it's in public right when he drops his pants. As would jacking a guy, or a whole team full of guys. It's all fucking around and a fucking good time.

One of the secrets of being a voyeur is that you don't have to get a secret thrill just from actual exposed stuff that would normally be covered up according to prudish laws. Meaning, yeah public cock is for sure thrilling to see. Except when it's that of Mike Pence (who I've heard has a Ken Doll-like appearance underneath it all, allegedly). 

But potentially more so are obscenely muscular and spread thighs. Or a big bulge in a singlet. I still feel like I'm seeing something obscene.

Obscene in a good way. Not obscene as in fuck over poor people. That's bad obscene. But committing a beautiful obscenity (as John Waters coins it) is to be applauded.

I think this guy has earned his degree in Public Nudity. And like some of the other guys pictured, he can parlay it into hanging out naked while pumping gas or outside a gay bar. Because it's important to put one's education into action.

Unlike a useless degree like Computer Engineering or Linguistics, Public Nudity is something made for this world, with endless applications, such as:

There's that game where someone hides something and gives you clues of hot as you get closer to it and cold as you get further away. I wish I could play that but with finding naked guys.

These guys would be giving me a huge head start though, because they aren't exactly hiding. So the game would probably just be called hot and we've already won.

Nudity goes so much better with a willing audience. The exception being a naked mugger probably doesn't want to be seen by anyone besides their mark. Though committing a crime when naked does lead to the possibility of being identified in a lineup of naked guys.

By the dick. It was him! The one with the massive cock head and the dripping cock slit. 

But in general, when a guy is naked, he's generally, hopefully harmless. Though he may break your heart.

Here's to the brave guy exposing his ass and sizable cock in winter. Something about showing off warms up the blood. Like running a marathon of perversion.

Sunny day exposure is a given but the hearty and horny souls who bare it all deserve applause. From my hand to their ass. 

Or maybe that's called spanking.

If those Beach Blanket Bingo movies of the 60s had continued into their softcore future, here are some potential stars. Now being nude on a nude beach isn't exactly radical. But going to a nude beach knowing you may be snapped, or willingly posing, is true exhibitionist behavior.

I'd applaud but my hands are full of sunscreen. I mean lube. SPF 30. As in Stroking Penis Fully.

Whip it out! It's a lifestyle and an opening line. Good or bad for each? You decide.

Though I have a major puzzle for you. Can someone who is completely naked whip it out? In fact, is it simply already out because there's no in?