Finding My Perfect Rhythm

Sitting there for a while before Ben texts me back a thumbs up and I get in contact with the tour operator to talk through the details and book it for Richard to choose a date either before or after the wedding for him to take a well-deserved break. Thinking about the wedding, I have a look for ideas for places to have the reception at somewhere that isn’t too far away from where we are having the wedding but somewhere that we like. I create a shortlist of places, one is a function centre on the other side of town by the river that is brand new and has everything that we want including a good view, modern facilities and a good stage where I can play some music. Another is a bit further away in London which I really like that overlooks the city and the Thames which is partly what we talked about the other night.

Playing Football Manager again for a few hours probably doesn’t help the blood pressure or staying calm when you get so emotionally invested in something that you are somewhat controlling even if they are just computer-generated versions of real people that can’t hear you yelling. I’m sitting there yelling at my computer when Ben walks through the door just after 6 “You useless bastards” I shout at the game after goal after goal is missed by the team.

“Well, that’s always the greeting you want,” Ben says laughing as he puts his bag down and walks over to me and kisses me “You playing Football Manager again?” I laugh and shrug my shoulders “I mean how could you tell?”. Ben walks into the kitchen and heads to the fridge “Dad not home yet?” he asks as I shake my head, “Nah not yet” I say as Ben’s phone buzzes and I grab it and read the text “Your Dad’s on his way home, had to have another meeting this afternoon” I say as Ben grabs out some Sausages to cook for dinner.

“Sorry, I should’ve done that since I was home,” I say feeling bad that I got caught up playing Football Manager “I was just playing Football Manager since booking the tour for your Dad after I got home,” I say as Ben didn’t know that I was going out. “Was going to say where did you go because you had your jeans on” he asks as I help him get some vegetables organised to go with dinner.

“Well, I went to my old house and spoke to the people living there if they knew anything,” I say as Ben looks across at me “L… was that a good idea?” he asks with nervousness about something bad happening and then a touch of sadness that I could’ve been left heartbroken by the news.

“Actually, it turned out to be quite helpful in all honesty,” I say as Ben lets out a massive sigh of relief that I didn’t get into any trouble or nobody knew me when I got there I’m guessing. “They were very interesting people that way, put it like that but they gave me some good info, they said a woman would turn up every so often not really in a good way looking for someone they said Lee… which is an easy assumption that she meant Liam when turning up”.

Ben nods as I keep telling him “Other than that, there wasn’t too much that they could tell me and I pretty quickly got out of there, they gave me some mail that was mostly junk mail and a few of Mum’s credit card bills that really didn’t help me to find her because looking through them only showed that she was shopping at the supermarket” I say as Ben shrugs which doesn’t tell us much.

“Mind if I go print off the tour details to give to your dad when he gets home?” I ask Ben after I finish cutting up the potatoes and carrots to put into the pot with the mixed vegetables out of the freezer. “Yeah, that’s a good idea, he’ll appreciate it today”.

I head off upstairs as Richard gets home, I’m on the computer in the office when he gets in and talks to Ben about his day. “Where’s Liam?” he asks wondering where I am because I’m normally downstairs cooking dinner or talking to Ben. “He’s upstairs doing something on the computer” I fold the booking confirmation and put it in an envelope and head downstairs.

We sit there eating dinner together, just talking about general things before finishing up “Dad, Liam has something that he wants to give you and this was all his idea so” he says to me as I grab the envelope off the coffee table in the lounge room.

“Well, this is a present from both of us, I just wanted to say thank you for being such an amazing dad to me and letting me stay here and to give you something for yourself because you never do it,” I say as I give him the envelope. Sitting there he opens it up, clearly not thinking it’s going to be anything like this and maybe just a gift card or some tickets to something. “You didn’t need to get me tickets or a voucher or something,” he says clearly not expecting to see what he is as he takes the booking confirmation out.

He sits there and reads the piece of paper “Grand Tours 10 Day tour of Ireland exploring Irish history and Irish Castles as well as a 2-night stay at an Irish castle of your choosing” he reads, the extra part was something extra that I added in without telling Ben “I thought you would be going somewhere a bit more modern and upmarket” Richard says clearly still not getting the fact that it’s meant for him, or trying to choose for himself that it’s not for him.

“It’s for you, just you only to take a trip away and enjoy life for a while” Richard’s face is changing realising that this is something that I’ve done for him and I smile feeling proud of myself for doing this for him. “This must have cost you a fortune, Liam… I can’t have you spending this money on me” he says as I just shake my head “I got my record contract money and I had to do this for you, for everything you’ve done for me and Ben”. Richard hugs me tightly and then hugs Ben “You two boys are the most amazing kids, you had everything go against you and proved your bond is stronger than anything,” he says as he gets emotional.

“The tickets are for whenever you want them, naturally before or after the wedding would be perfect and not when we’re having it,” I say with a cheeky grin that makes Ben shake his head and Richard smiles. “Of course, I’m not going to miss my boys' wedding,” he says referring to the both of us as his boys.

“And Liam, no more spending money on me alright because I don’t deserve it” I don’t agree with Richard at all, because he more than deserves everything for what he has done since we sat down at the table almost 12 months ago and I told him everything Ben had done for me and how much I loved him. Richard heads upstairs and says that he wants to have an early night because he hasn’t slept much since the work dramas have happened.

Ben and I clean up after dinner “I think Dad really appreciated that L” he says as we head upstairs “The extra 2 days?” he asks that wasn’t part of what Ben agreed on. “I just thought when I saw it, it was absolutely perfect you know like you are” Ben shakes his head as I kiss him as he goes and has a shower as I head into the bathroom and just talk to him.

Looking at his amazingly cute body and tight firm ass in the shower is always fun especially since he's let the hair grow out on it which takes a while because he’s a naturally smooth guy unlike some of us who have to make an effort to keep things smooth. I sit there talking to him, although I’m pretty much there to just take in his amazing body. Eventually, I can’t help myself and take off my clothes and throw them into the basket and slide into the shower behind Ben “Oi… what if Dad hears us or comes in?” he says as I shrug and kiss his neck.

“The door is locked and he’s in his bedroom and can use his ensuite like usual,” I say as Ben has a smile on his face as I have everything planned to get things going with him whilst we’re in the shower. Standing there, I kiss his neck as I hear Ben trying to moan quietly as I run my hand down his back and down to his ass, holding each cheek in my hand as he turns around and kisses me deeply, letting the water run down our bodies as we make out. Even though we’ve kissed and had sex so many times, every time is always so amazing to feel his hands running across my chest as he plays with my hard pink nipples and the feeling that it sends down to my hard cock which is already leaking a huge amount of pre.

Ben kisses down my body, tongue sucking on my nipples giving each one its own special treatment as his tongue flicks each one, and swirls it as I feel him grabbing hold of my hard shaft and jerking it slowly, teasing me with what he could do as he continues kissing down my body. Letting the water run down us, Ben is on his knees down as he lifts my cock licking my ball sack underneath, letting his tongue do all of the work as he licks and between my balls before sucking them each.

I moan and realise that we probably need to turn the water off, so I do that and we quickly grab a towel and dash to the bedroom where we close and lock the door, I’m laying on the bed as Ben climbs over me and starts to suck on my head, his tongue turning me on so much, that I can’t help the amount of pre cum that is forming inside me. Swallowing it up, Ben starts to line up his cock with my mouth and then feeds me his hard-cut 8 inches of meat.

Massaging his balls as I do that, I can feel how big of a load that he has coming I rub my hand over his balls which also tickles him a bit but I know when he gets ticklish, it helps him have a bigger load to share with me. Ben continues to suck my hard leaking cock as he starts to fuck my mouth, pushing it right down my throat, testing out my gag reflexes so much it’s hard not to choke even though I’ve taken this amazing guy’s cock before. I don’t know how long we’re sucking each other for but it’s really enjoyable that we both know how to get each other so perfectly to the climax and having our biggest cum shot possible.

Ben pulls out of my mouth “Want me to swallow this load?” he asks as I moan and nod as he climbs back down my body and starts sucking my cock, working my shaft strong that I can’t hold on any longer and I shoot my hot white load down his throat, shooting load after a load of thick white cum, so much that Ben chokes at one point and struggles to swallow it all, which isn’t a surprise.

Very quickly we swap places and I’m back sucking Ben’s cock, although I can see that he is almost at the point of blowing, so I make sure that I’m giving the right attention as my mouth goes back and forward over his shaft, milking all the pre-cum out before bam, a massive load of cum covers my tongue, my throat and even my face despite me having it covered with my mouth.

I have to swallow the loads very quickly, because it doesn’t seem to end for Ben which is the way I love it, getting to taste every load of cum he produces and knowing that it’s all exclusively mine. After about 5 thick bursts of cum going down my throat, I look across at my fiancé who is puffed out laying next to me “Enjoy that babe?” I say smiling as he kisses me still panting.

“You know it, your blowjobs make me so horny, more than what I get when I get to fuck you or I’m laying there riding on your hard cock” he says as we go back to kissing before cleaning ourselves up with our towels and putting on out PJs before watching a movie together cuddled up, which is romantic but doesn’t have the enjoyment or the sensitivity of being there naked enjoying each other’s bodies, cocks and cum.

Everybody in the family gets an early night which means there’s a hive of activity early in the morning, instead of sleeping in Ben pulls me out of bed at just after 5 “Come on we’re going to the gym early” he says as I try to shake my head by he drags me out of bed and I get changed into my gym stuff and we head off.

As we go through our workout Dan comes into the area that we’re working in “Hey boys” he says as I don’t bother looking as we both say morning. I’m glad you’re here because I wanted to introduce you to the new trainer that’s just starting. I turn around and my face drops as I see an unwanted familiar face standing there smiling at us both that makes me feel really uncomfortable.

“This is Chris, he’s one of our new trainers coming through the Prison placement program,” Dan says not knowing the connection that I have with Chris and how uncomfortable it is that he has with me and how much I thought that it was done forever having to deal with him. Thankfully, he acts as if we are perfect strangers and I tentatively shake his hand nervous about what he is going to do but it’s all relatively friendly even though I can see Ben is not comfortable either.

Dan and Chris walk off as we finish up what we are doing “What the fuck is all that about? There’s no way I can stand here and be nice to him and have him overshadowing me every time that I’m here” I say as I’m really upset because my past is really coming back to me and I’ve done everything to avoid it.

Ben and I go over to a corner where there isn’t anybody around “Look, if he’s only here under Dan’s watchful eye then there can’t be too much that he can do, he’s got an ankle bracelet so he can’t hurt us or come after us for anything if there’s going wrong” Ben says to me trying to reassure me but I just can’t get out of my head that he will want something from me again.

“Yeah I know, but what happens when he’s done, he’ll know where I live because he can get it and he can make life hell for me especially once he knows that I’ve got money, he thinks that I can just be under his thumb again” my voice getting really agitated and louder as Ben tries to calm me down.

Ben puts his arms on my shoulders and tells me to breathe which is what I do calming down a bit “Everything you owed Chris is done, I paid him off remember and he’s got nothing that he can hold over you and now you’re in control of your destiny and have a whole team behind you with me, Dad, Josh and Dan, because if there is any shit then Dan has to report it instantly” he says that reassures me a bit as I see Chris working with some of the people in there.

Dan wanders over “Hey, everything alright did you do something Liam?” he asks as I don’t really know what to say about the situation and just shake my head. “Just highly stressed at the moment with a few things and a lack of sleep,” I say as Ben looks at me and nods “He has his recording session tomorrow and just a few things going on,” he says as Dam nods and his attention gets called away for the moment.

“Thanks for covering, I know I probably should have told Dan but then it becomes a big issue and Chris is probably trying to change things… doubt it though but if I deserve a second chance then so does Chris,” I say not really believing that he believes the chance but it’s just another challenge.

“Do you want me to talk to Dan about your issues and make sure that you two don’t cross paths?” Ben says as I shake my head not really wanting to make it such a big deal knowing that I’ve got jumped bigger obstacles.

Walking out of the gym after grabbing our stuff, I don’t really say anything until we get into the car and I punch the steering wheel out of frustration which makes me annoyed after seeing Chris laughing and joking around with people not knowing the true piece of shit that he really is. Ben gets in the car “You alright? You just seemed to lose for a minute there” as I just shake my head.

“I don’t know, it’s just eating at me I guess that I had to live scared of that bastard for years, had his boys smash up my apartment, ruining everything that I had done and then beating me to a pulp, dragging you into the mess and now thinking that he’s back knowing where we are scares me,” I say as I let out this burst of emotion that I’ve been holding back “And I know what you’re going to say that I’m in a better place and all that’s behind me and I know that full well but I thought that last time when he came back,” I say as Ben just rubs my shoulder.

“Liam… look at me,” Ben says as I look at him wiping away the tears that I’ve got in my eyes as I look across at him. “You aren’t that guy anymore and your past doesn’t need to come back and get you, as I said in there, you have a team behind you that will do anything to protect you and we have your back all the time,” he says to me as I start the car and finish wiping my eyes.

“Last time you thought stupidly that you had to deal with this on your own, you don’t and there is nothing that can stop us because tomorrow you’re going to record your first single and remember in a few months, you’re going to be a global superstar married to the hottest guy in the world and what’s Chris going to be doing? Being a nobody still on probation, with every movement tracked by his device not allowed to leave the city” Ben says as I smile and crack a joke “Wait, I’m marrying Josh?”.

Ben just punches me and shakes my head “Even in a situation like this you can still make a joke” he says and rubs my arm as we head home. We get home and Richard is sitting at the table just in casual clothes not going to work “Everything alright Dad?” Ben asks as he nods with a mouthful of tea and toast. “Yeah, I’m just not feeling 100% today so taking the day off and going to see Dr Olsen this morning,” he says which is not ideal for him being ill but at least he’s taking a day off.

I start to head upstairs when I hear Ben talking to Richard “Look, can you look after Liam today for me, I’m just worried about him because Dan got a new trainer at the gym as a part of the prison-to-work program and well it’s Chris… as in the guy who smashed up Liam” he says as I stand just out of earshot listening kind of annoyed that he is telling Richard but at the same time as appreciating it.

“Wait what? How is he back there? Does Dan know at least?” Richard asks as Ben shakes his head “Nah, Liam didn’t want to tell him about everything because he said that Chris deserves another chance like he got but once we got into the car, he just broke like I’ve never seen before and it really scared me because I knew he was worked up about the music stuff, his family stuff and this might have thrown him closer to the edge”. I head upstairs as I hear Ben getting up from the table trying to get up the stairs without making it obvious that I was standing there listening to him.

Sitting on the bed, I scroll through my phone just looking at Instagram and Snapchat which is really about the only social media that I use at the moment with nothing really exciting there. Ben comes in and closes the door behind me “You need to walk quieter up the stairs if you don’t want me to know you were listening” he says with a smile that always makes me feel lucky to have him in my life.

I wish I could just spend the day with Ben, it doesn’t even matter if it was talking to him at work or sitting in another room, he always just brightens my day and makes me feel good. He hugs me for a minute before getting up and going to have his shower and get ready for work.

Laying down on the bed, I don’t even realise that I drift off to sleep exhausted both mentally and physically from everything going on but I know that I am tough and can deal with it. I nap for about an hour missing Ben having to go to work but waking up as Richard comes in “I’m just popping to the Doctor for a while, do you want to meet me in town and have some lunch somewhere Liam?” he asks as I know what he is trying to do, making me focus on something other than what happened this morning.

“I don’t know, I really want to just get things right for tomorrow and practice the song to get everything perfect,” I say as Richard comes into me laying on the bed “Come on Liam, this isn’t about taking your mind off anything, this is letting me have some time with one of my boys and taking advantage of something that I won’t get to do too much more once you and Ben get your own place,” he says smiling and patting my back which helps to make me change my mind.

“Alright, how about we go to the Café on Horan Street for lunch, the new one that’s supposed to be pretty good, my shout,” I say to Richard who shakes his head “I’m paying for lunch, it’s my thing for you, especially after you spent so much on me for that Irish tour,” he says as I get up and have a shower as he goes to the doctor. I get ready and check the time before heading out to the Café a bit paranoid as I look around for strange cars or people hanging around since I know Chris is around and probably can access where I’m living by my gym membership details.

I head into the Café and wait for Richard, sitting there just enjoying a mocktail frightens Richard a bit as he comes in and sits down across from me “What are you drinking?” he says with a suspicious tone “It’s a Pineapple Punch Mocktail, no alcohol anywhere near this… it’s Pineapple and Soda Water mixed together” I say as Richard has a sigh of relief. “How is everything? Anything to be concerned about?” I ask him as he isn’t sure whether he should tell me everything the doctor told him.

“Like always, I won’t tell Ben anything you tell me,” I say to try and convince him to tell me whether everything is ok with his health. “I’m just overworking that’s all, nothing too serious other than my blood pressure is a bit high so need to take things quietly for a while, which is partly why I wanted to talk to you,” he says to me as I look a bit concerned and worried there is something a lot more serious going on.

“I didn’t want to tell Ben yet because you know how he gets, but I’ve filed for retirement at the end of the school year,” he says to me as I look surprised because he is really passionate about his work but at the same time, I am sort of relieved about it. “These past few weeks have been really stressful and I came to the realisation that I am getting too old for things and I know that I’m not that old but with Rosie gone, I don’t want to miss out on things especially with you and Ben getting married in the next few months,” he says as I put my hand on his. “We’ll always be around for you, you might not be my biological dad but you’re my dad and no matter what happens with anything, Ben and I will always be with you in life,” I say to him as we order lunch and get a few strange looks.

Spending time with Richard is nice just talking to him and having him open up to me a lot more than what he normally would. We spend about an hour talking as I wonder if I should bring up the topic of moving out and us getting our own place at the moment because as much it would be nice and probably more efficient once I start having to do more travelling and potentially touring, I won’t be coming in and out at weird times.

The rest of the afternoon and evening are pretty chilled out just playing around on my laptop and doing general things around the house talking with Richard. That night I’m lying in bed as Ben is finishing watching something on Netflix downstairs before heading up to bed “How was Dad today?” he asks as we get our first proper chance to talk about things.

“Not too bad, I think he’s ready to take a step back in things and retire,” I say trying to not give away what he told me but at the same time I don’t want to breach the confidence Richard had in telling me that he is going to retire. “What do you mean? He said he wants to retire?” Ben asks me as I realise that I’ve probably said too much already.

“I’ve already said too much and he told me not to tell you anything,” I say as Ben pokes his finger into my side “Yeah well you’ve already started, so you can’t leave me halfway through knowing things,” he says which is a fair point because if I’m on a sinking ship, I might as well go all the way. “He told me that wants to retire at the end of the school year because he’s had enough of all the dramas which he still wouldn’t tell me about and that he doesn’t want to miss out on special things because I gather that there is a lot he regrets not doing since Rosie passed away,” I say as Ben sits there nodding and realising that everybody’s thoughts have been the same about Richard but nobody could bother saying it to each other.

Changing topics and catching me off guard Ben decides that it’s time to change topics “How you feeling about tomorrow? About to officially record your first single” he says as I realise that I hadn’t actually thought too much about it. “Not too bad really, I think I’m excited about it you know, it probably won’t go that far if I’m being realistic so just excited about everything that can happen,” I say as I smile and head to sleep.