Finding My Perfect Rhythm

Ben walks out as I sit there alone looking through the menu for a few minutes as a lady with short brown hair talks to the waiter for a minute before being guided to our table “Liam?” she asks as I nod, really nervous and needing Ben here to talk for me. “Yes, Aunt Sophie?” I ask as she nods, my only memories of her were from when I was 8 or 9 and Mum and her having an argument at my birthday about the birthday party.

The last time I remember seeing her she had long bottle-blonde hair and so this is like meeting a complete stranger for the first time as she gives me an awkward hug. “My fiancé is outside taking a work call,” I say as she nods “Oh yes, I saw a young lady out there on the phone,” she says which makes me feel a little awkward as Ben wanders in just after she said that and picks up the menu.“

Oh, you can take their order and I’ll have to look through,” Aunt Sophie says as she looks at Ben obviously thinking that he is the waiter and it’s not that much of a stretch given his outfit isn’t too different from the waitstaff. “Ah Aunt Sophie, this is my fiancé Ben,” I say to her as she looks shocked and then embarrassed that she was thinking that Ben was the waiter.

Laughing she apologises and Ben doesn’t take any offence to it but thinks it’s quite funny actually as we sit there looking through the menu as we order. I order a Chicken Burger with Sweet Potato fries, Ben has a Grilled Eggplant wrap and Sophie has a Roast Beef roll.“So tell me about your life Liam and how long you’ve been together with your fiancé,” she asks as I look across at Ben and smile “Well we’ve been engaged for about 6 or 7 months and been together for about 6 or 7 years” my face must light up when I talk about Ben because I can see Aunt Sophie’s face light up as I talk.

“You two clearly are in love with each other,” she says as she takes a drink of water “How did you two meet?” she asks as I drink and Ben looks across and answers for me “Well we’ve actually known each other since we started school and started as friends and just grew up together,” he says as Aunt Sophie thinks about something. “Oh, Lego Ben?” she says as I laugh and nod and Ben looks embarrassed remembering how obsessed he was always with Lego.

Sitting there we talk through as she talks about the family and things that I don’t really care about because I’m not interested in talking or being connected with the family but it’s nice to know everybody is safe and well although there is a big elephant in the room that nobody has mentioned yet as the food gets served. Aunt Sophie brings up the topic that everybody has been avoided ‘So Liam, how’s your Mum?” she asks as we eat and I stop for a minute not sure what to say as her face drops.

“Oh, she died?” she says as I stop for a minute “Oh no nothing like that well I don’t know to be honest because I haven’t spoken to or seen her in probably 6 or 7 years after she told me she was too busy to pick me up from court”. Aunt Sophie’s face looks concerned given that she doesn’t have any information about my past which I probably should have done but she tells me not to bring it up if I don’t want to.

“Without going through the whole story, I’d just done something stupid one night and when it came time to go home that night, I’d rang Mum and told her everything that had happened and she told me that she was busy and to not disturb her,” I say as I always get emotional thinking about it as Aunt Sophie looks shocked. “So, I didn’t know what to do so I rang the one person who always helped me and he knew what to do,” I say as I gesture to Ben and Aunt Sophie smiles at that fact.

“So, it was about then that I chose not to have anything to do with Mum in my life because when I needed her, she couldn’t be bothered to be around for me and I had another person in my life who treated my so much better so I stayed with them,” I say not telling her that I didn’t move in permanently with Ben’s family “Then I got my own apartment for a while before moving back in with Ben and his dad”.

Aunt Sophie is sitting there as she wipes the tears away “That was the only time you’ve had trouble with the law though, right?” she asks as I look at Ben and shake my head “Not really, I just had the usual drug issues and went to rehab twice, one for drugs and one for alcohol which I don’t touch anymore” I say as she looks concerned and gives Ben a couple of concerning looks.

“Ben is the person who helped me the most, he gave me a reason to get clean and when trust and support in me hit an all-time low, he was the only person who always told me everything would be ok and believed in me,” I say as her reaction Ben softens a little bit, I don’t know whether she saw Ben as an enabler but I hope that she saw what I see in Ben and what everybody does in us as a couple now.

“So, what do you do for work or are you studying?” she asks me as I get filled with a bit more confidence because I get to talk about music “I’m actually a musician and work part-time in a Music shop that was all Ben’s doing as well, he got me focussed on music to keep me at school and it’s all working out well right now,” I say as everybody smiles.  “What about you Ben? You a musician as well?” which makes me laugh a little bit.

“Sorry about that, but the only music he makes is turning on the radio or pushing play on Spotify,” I say laughing as Ben hits me while he laughs. “I’m definitely not in the Music industry because I can’t hold a tune, I’m actually Junior Director of Marketing and Personal Relations for a company in the city,” Ben says as Aunt Sophie looks surprised at how successful Ben actually is. I don’t know whether she was thinking because I was a bit of a screw-up that Ben must’ve been as well but she looks impressed and maybe Ben is winning her over.

We sit there talking for a little while longer about various things, I sit there as I don’t know whether or not I should bring up anything about her and Mum but I need to know what happened if I’m going forward and want to know everything. “Look, Aunt Sophie, this has been really nice and everything but I need to ask you something, what happened between Mum and you because I never got a full story and always just heard what Mum had to say”.

Sophie sits there for a minute and looks away from me as to try and stop herself from having the conversation about things which annoys me because I’m hardly going to run to Mum and tell her anything. “You need to tell me, Aunt Sophie, I’m just trying to make a perfect life for Ben and me for when we get married but at the same point I don’t know how I can do that with all these family question marks going on”.

Letting out a big sigh, Sophie finally relents “This is probably not the story that you want to hear Liam but you should know it, it was not long after you started school, your Mum had just met a new guy who treated her really badly” I nod because that wasn’t the first guy that I knew wouldn’t treat Mum right because she just knew how to pick them.

“One afternoon, we came by because we hadn’t seen her in a few days and she wasn’t well put it that way, she was passed out on the floor and we were worried about you mostly,” she says not looking at me. “Thankfully, you weren’t home and were playing at a friend’s house” she points to Ben because that would’ve been the friend’s house that I would’ve been at.

“We took her to hospital and you stayed at Nan’s place for a few days which you enjoyed, it was after that we kept checking in on you that she started to resent it and said that we were trying to kidnap you and prove that she was a bad mother” Aunt Sophie looks at me, “There were a few things that were said by everybody that didn’t really need to be said and that was the last of the contact we were able to have because she never trusted us to be with you”.

I sit there feeling upset by everything because at the end of the day all they wanted was to look after me when Mum told me that they were trying to prove that she was a bad mother and that she never loved me and they always said that they would never let me see her again. Which now as an adult I know isn’t true obviously but as a kid when your only parent that you ever loved says that to you, you believe it and just go with it because as a kid I always thought Mum loved me and everything she did no matter how misguided she was with her life. I take a minute to use the bathroom as I need to take a minute to compose myself because whilst this was a good thing to be able to see Aunt Sophie, it left me with so many more questions about things and doubting whether it was the right time.

Ben comes in a couple of minutes later, “Hey you ok?” he asks as I nod washing my face “Yeah, just needed a minute to think about things you know and take the facts in of the situation” I wander back out and apologise for taking so long. Aunt Sophie comes around and gives me a hug and then starts to ask me about my music.

Getting out my phone, I show her the video of the stream that the Nova had the other night and play her one of my original songs and her face is beaming with proudness “I’m not really into modern music so I don’t know the song but I really like it” she says as I smile at her enjoying the music. “Well, that’s one of my originals, I wrote it and performed it”. Talking about the music always makes me feel good and proud of myself and I can see that she likes it as well.

“You wrote this?” she says as she points to the video as I nod “Wow, it’s a good thing that Ben got you into music then” as Ben smiles, proud of himself thinking that he’s the sole reason that I got into music. After about another half hour we finish talking as Aunt Sophie says that she has to leave and says how nice it was to catch up and we agree to stay in contact and I reluctantly agree to let her tell the rest of the family that she has seen me but not to tell anybody where I am living or any of my contact details.

Ben and I order another drink as we sit there “I think that went alright really” I say as Ben nods and agrees “Yeah considering what you were worried about, I think that it could’ve been a lot worse even though I felt like she was getting a bit judgy about me”. Ben says that actually doesn’t bother me because I got the same feeling “Yeah at times I think she was, but once you talked through everything then she liked you and was impressed by your job” I say as he moves his chair and cuddles into me.

Sitting there as Ben runs his hands through my hair “Dad is probably going to have a fit you know with your hair” he says laughing as we finish our drinks and head out of the restaurant. Getting into the car we drive home, much more energetic and excited than we did on the way up here. We get home and head inside where Richard is sitting down eating dinner because we told him not to wait for us. He takes one look at my hair and just shakes his head “Oh my god” he says laughing “We shouldn’t let you get your own haircut” he says as I show it off and Ben just laughs denying any prior knowledge of me making my hair this way which is true I didn’t tell anyone.

“So how did today go?” Richard asks as I sit down at the table and grab a piece of Garlic Bread that Richard is having. “Pretty good, there wasn’t a lot to learn really because Sophie hadn’t had any contact with Mum for a long time before I left but it was nice to hear how the family was and learn what happened so that I get a bigger picture of what happened going forward”

.I keep telling Richard everything as Ben goes upstairs to the office to catch up on some work stuff as we keep talking. “Does it change how you feel about trying to find your Mum at all with this new information?” he asks as I reflect on the situation. “It does a little bit because I mean the new information really doesn’t paint Mum in the greatest light but then thinking about it nobody is ever perfect and I’m certainly not… and if Ben thinks that I deserved a second, third, seventh chance then I think I still owe Mum another chance.

Richard nods as I head upstairs feeling pretty tired and just fall onto the bed not bothering to take off my clothes and almost fall asleep instantly. I don’t know how long I’m asleep for before Ben comes in to check on me “Hey you alright?” he says as I wake up and have a look at my phone.

“Yeah, I’m alright, just didn’t sleep that well last night and then just a busy day today after going for a run this morning has me wiped” I get up and just change into my PJs and fall back into bed again and sleep for the rest of the night. The next morning I’m awake early, excited to be heading back to the Music store for the first time in a few weeks, especially after the past few days.

I head to the gym with Ben although we do our own separate things which is good because it gives us own our space whilst at the same time being together. That afternoon, I head to the store for my first shift in weeks after all the storm damage has been repaired and it looks like a completely new place.

“I didn’t realise we were getting a whole new place, Ricky,” I say as I wander into the store as Ricky who is the store owner/manager though these days he spends more time working out the back repairing instruments than teaching or selling equipment as he used to. “It’s good right, Liam, it feels better than ever before,” he says as another Frankie comes behind me “Liam boy… how good is the palace,” she says over my shoulder taking in the new loom of the shop. “It’s amazing, how’s business been?” I ask as she gives me a big smile.

“When you’re the only music store in town then it goes really well,” she says laughing before asking about the gig the other night. “So, I was out the other night and I saw a familiar name on the performer list for last Friday night at the Nova of all places,” she says as Ricky looks across “The Nova? That’s a big deal is it, anybody, we know,” he asks as I just shrug my shoulders.

“Maybe,” I say as I get a bit embarrassed “Just maybe? I mean if I was performing at the Nova, I would be screaming it from the rooftop” Frankie says as I laugh and just shake my head. “Oh my god it went badly didn’t it,” she says as I shrug “Oh god, sorry for bringing it up” her face looks really concerned before my smile gives away the fact that I’m playing her. “Oh, fuck you, Liam, it went brilliant didn’t it” I nod and she begs for more details as I fill her in.

“So, the gig went really well and I had the audition on Monday right, well Andy Alexander was at the Nova on Friday night and he changed it from an audition to a meeting about contracts,” I say as she looks surprised. “Andy Alexander offered you a contract?” she says surprised as I nod and get it out. “Well, I was hoping you could have a look at it and tell me what you think about it and whether it’s too good to be true,” I say as she looks at it and her eyes open widely.

“This is the contract that they’ve offered you the first time round?” she says as I nod and she looks through it which makes me nervous and worried that she is going to find something in it. Frankie’s advice is important because before working at the Music store part-time, she used to work more in the industry before having kids and wanting a more flexible job.

Finishing reading the contract she looks at it then looks at me “You want my honest opinion on this? And remember I know Andy quite well” which I didn’t actually know that she knew him in her previous work. “So, what’s the verdict, Frankie?” Ricky asks as I’m too nervous to know whether it’s a good contract or not.

“It’s a brilliant contract for Liam, it doesn’t put any pressure on him and it’s pretty fair and balanced it’s just the usual sort of stuff you know with the likes of what is expected of Liam, what’s expected of the record company and I actually like that it’s split into two so there is no pressure, get the single out there market Liam and then go for the album rather than forcing it all at once,” she says which makes me smile and I hug her and text Ben that Frankie says the contract is good. The afternoon is like floating on air at the shop, things are never too busy but I can feel the enthusiasm just coming out of me as I help anybody who comes in and the afternoon flies by until closing time at 7.

After closing, I sit out the back talking to Frankie and Ricky for a bit about things as he talks about the shop and everything that it took to get back and the amount of stock that we lost. We enjoy the chat before I head home and grab some dinner. “Sorry I’m late, we were just catching up and Frankie was talking about the contract and Ricky was just telling us about what his plans for the shop are going forward”.

Ben looks at me so what did they say about the contract and how it will go for you “Well Frankie actually worked with Andy Alexander before she took a step back and said for him to create a contract like this means that he has a lot of faith in me and being pretty honest she said that it’s more beneficial to me than to them and there’s no pressure on it” I say as he looks at me.  “So, what are you going to do, are you going to agree to it or still want it looked over?” the decision pains me because I want to make it but then I still have that panic about whether it goes wrong then I’m in a worse position.

“Josh can have a look at it tomorrow like he said and just look over all the stuff, he did get back ok, right?” I ask Ben as he nods “Yeah, he messaged me to say that he was back at his flat and glad to be back.” Finishing up the conversation, I take a shower and Ben comes up and joins me in “Thought you might enjoy the company” he says smiling as he kisses my neck.

Feeling his body press against mine makes me moan as the water runs down our bodies and I feel his cock growing harder behind me and pressing into me. Standing there I turn my head and start kissing Ben softly, his lips are amazing and so tender as we kissing and he pushes his tongue into my mouth as we both moan through the kiss, feeling good about the feeling. I feel him running his hands over my chest and feeling my nipples pinching them as my cock grows and starts leaking pre cum.

Ben turns the water off so that we don’t get in trouble for using too much water and starts jerking my cock before putting it into his mouth and sucking it as I throw my head back because it feels so good to have his mouth around my hard shaft. Sucking it slowly, his tongue teases me as my cock leaks and my full ball sack is struggling to hold the cum in. Taking his mouth off my cock he kisses me and just runs his finger over my shaft to tease me as he dries me off and we dart across to his bedroom and close the door so that he can keep working on me.

Getting back on his knees, Ben smiles at me as he opens his mouth up and puts all 7 inches of my meat back into his mouth, going faster as his mouth milks my cock as he reaches down and jerks his own cock. I try to pull him up so that I can have a go but all he wants to do is service me and I definitely won’t say no. My cum builds up and I can’t hold on much longer and blow a load down Ben’s throat which I don’t think he was expecting and he gags a bit as I keep blowing massive loads down his throat which he swallows.

I finish putting my loads down his throat before I decide to take control and push him onto the bed and get in between his legs and start to put my mouth over his cock. Starting to suck his cock, Ben moans loudly which makes me laugh considering that his Dad is probably able to hear every noise that we make. Continuing to suck him, Ben moans and he tries to stay quiet but he struggles because he’s got a very big load of pre-building up which unlike him I don’t make him wait and tease him as I go deep, taking every inch of his big cock down my throat.

Milking him with my mouth, he moans and builds a load of cum that I eventually get down my throat, I lose count at four spurts but there is plenty more, fresh white milk that I’m feeding on and eventually Ben pulls out of my mouth and flops back onto the bed puffed.

“That was amazing babe,” he says as we wipe the excess cum off our cocks before quickly putting on clothes so that if Richard comes in, we’re not going to have any awkward moments even though he might have heard us moaning.

Lying in bed, my head on Ben’s chest as he rubs my hair everything feels nice and every bit of stress seems to have disappeared as I lay there with him just falling asleep on his chest thinking about everything that could happen going forward. The next morning, I head to work after swapping shifts with Robbie who wasn’t well and just potter around for a while trying to get through the morning because not much is happening other than people coming in and having a browse at the instruments with the odd question about different things which I can’t really answer because they’re not about Guitars.

My shift finishes at two and I head out of the store not long after with Ricky and Simon looking after things for a while. I text Josh “Hey man, you free for me to come around and double-check the contract and have a chat?” I ask not sure if he would be at work or not. About five minutes later he replies “Of course, bro, do you want to come now I’m home for a while” he replies and I give him a thumbs up and head over there.

Walking up to his place straight from work, I knock on the door as he opens the door in true Josh style completely shirtless and it doesn’t take much imagination as to why Ben was so smitten with Josh when I was away and wanted to stay with him instead of being at home with his dad.

Wandering Josh offers me a drink or something to eat which I decline before sitting at the breakfast bar “I know that music isn’t something that is your strong point, but I know that you have a lot of experience dealing with contracts so I wondered if you could look over it and see if there’s anything that jumps out”. Josh looks over it and reads it “So music isn’t my speciality naturally, but from a contract view it’s pretty good and looks good for me”.

I smile and put it back into my bag as we just start talking generally “So how are things generally and how are they trying to find your Mum?” he asks as I start to fill him in. “Well, Ben’s onboard, we had a really good long chat about it and I actually got in contact with my aunt who messaged me on Facebook and I talked to her about things, she and Mum fell out a long time ago so there was no new info but at least she gave me what the families side of the story about the falling out was”.

Josh looks across at me and nods “Yeah that would be good because there are always more than two sides to every story so it helps you understand everything” he says which is right and what I was thinking. “Anyway, enough about me, how was your trip?” I ask as he groans and rolls his eyes “Boring as hell, didn’t get to do anything other than work, got stuck in Singapore for half of it so didn’t get to see Isabella or anybody” he says as I rub his shoulder because I know how much he was using seeing his family as motivation for his unplanned trip.

Sitting there, I can’t take my eyes off his chest which drives me crazy because I don’t know how somebody can have a chest so perfect and meaty along with so many other amazing body features. We continue to talk and all I can think about is what it would’ve been like to be with Josh and jealous of the fact that Ben has been there. “I watched your gig the other night, was able to get the stream up,” Josh says as I snap back to the real world for a moment “Oh yeah? How did you enjoy it?” I ask as he tells me that he enjoyed it a lot.

After a little while, I head home and text Andy “Hey Andy, it’s Liam I’ve made a decision on the contract so anytime you want to chat is good with me” I don’t know whether I’ll get a response that quickly as he texts me. “How about we get started tomorrow morning at 9:30?” he says I agree to the meeting and let Ben know about it.