Finding My Perfect Rhythm

This is a sequel to my previous story Life Isn't A Fairytale; This story focuses around Liam and takes a deeper in depth look at Liam's life and how he looks to build his future with Ben and make find his perfect rhythm

“Just ten more minutes babe… please” I lay there with my hand draped over my fiancé's smooth toned body, laying in bed with him is just the greatest feeling as I try to use my position to hold him in tight.

He manages to force his way away from my grip around his abs “I have to go to work remember? Some of us aren’t lucky to get in at 3 am” he says as he kisses me and I throw his pillow at him as I watch him put his sleep shorts on.

I put my head down onto the pillow wishing that Ben was still laying next to me because those few hours together were amazing like spending all the time I can with him. I drift off to sleep for a little while, morning wood getting to me and I lay there sleeping, thinking and hoping Ben will just crawl back into bed with me but I know that’s something that doesn’t happen.

Ben finishes showering and comes back into the room as I keep trying to drag him into bed in a mix of sleep and desperation to get him back into bed. My pulling at his leg doesn’t work and eventually, he gets dressed and heads downstairs whilst I keep laying down trying to get some more sleep.

There’s too much noise so I get up and put my shorts on and head downstairs where Ben is having breakfast with our landlord and more importantly his Dad who I’ve had a very up and down relationship with during my long-time friendship and then serious relationship with Ben.

“Morning Liam, I didn’t hear you get in last night?” Richard says with a tone that says with a tone of accusation even though he says fully trusts me I know with all the trouble that I’ve been in and got Ben into, I know that there is always going to get some level of distrust.

Ben steps in for a moment “Yeah, Liam had another gig last night at the Old Hamilton and he was pushed back because there were a few issues that’s all” his Dad nods believing it all as Ben excuses himself and says goodbye to his father and then kisses me goodbye.

“So what are you doing today Liam?” Richard asks as if I was just spending my days lazing around the house not doing anything when I work part-time at the Music store and recently started giving music lessons whilst playing gigs on the weekend and with an audition coming up for a start-up record label.

“I’ve got today off so I was going to clean up around here and fix up the bathroom, I was going to work on some music and then just see how that goes” Richard doesn’t look too impressed that I don’t have a shift today. “No shifts today or this week again?” the chirp back isn’t appreciated at all because I haven’t had a shift at the Music store for the past two weeks because the roof of the music store collapsed two weeks ago when we got hit by the big storm and we don’t open until next week.

“The store is still closed until next Monday, they haven’t fixed all the damage yet and then we’ve got to wait until they put up new walls and floors before we can open” Richard gives off the attitude that things could be going better but I don’t control it. He eventually gets up and a pat on the back as he finishes his cup of tea and heads off to work.

My history with Richard is probably more complicated than it is with Ben and that is pretty complicated by standards. Ben and I had been friends since we started primary school when he couldn’t walk through the school gates and was clinging to his Mum so scared about going in. I was going in with my mum at the same time and remembered playing Lego with Ben at the practice days and then we just connected through primary school and then right through growing up until the point where we both admitted feelings for each other.

I grab my coffee and go out and sit underneath the Apple Tree that sits in Ben’s backyard which holds so much significance for the two of us. It was the place where so many happy moments happened between Ben and me as well as his Mum who was the most amazing woman. I sit down on the grass, drinking my coffee as I look up to the sky.

“Wish you were to see our amazing boy now,” I say looking up to the sky knowing that Ben’s mum would be looking down as I sit here. I sit there thinking about how much influence Rosie had over my life and the love and support of Ben’s family is probably why I’m sitting here today rather than spending time at her Majesty’s pleasure.

I head back inside after finishing my coffee and wander upstairs and put my head onto the pillow and drift off to sleep for a little while. I wake up about an hour or so later and take a shower, still feeling pretty exhausted I get dressed and head downstairs and grab my guitar just to get the music right.

In just over a week, I’ve got an audition with a Music producer and I’m trying to come up with an original song to use but despite being able to come up with songs so easily, I’m really struggling to try to come up with something original. I sit there just playing random chords as I look across at a picture of Ben with his parents.

Ben and I were totally different in how we grew up but from the very first day of school, we just got each other as best friends and he was my protector when things went bad. I sit there thinking about how even though Mum tried to put me first but really I couldn’t turn to her when I needed her.

I keep sitting there thinking there about my mother, she always tried her hardest and I know that she loved me but it always hurt that she was never there when I really needed her especially given that Dad left when I was two. It was about 5 years ago and I was arrested after stupidly having too many drinks when I should’ve been at school and took a car and crashed it into the back of a parked car, that just happened to be an unmarked police car.

That night once everything happened, I remember calling Mum and telling her everything that happened hoping that she would be able to come pick me up but all I got was that she was busy and to catch the bus or something but not to interrupt her date. I sat heartbroken, not knowing where to go or what to do. I didn’t have anywhere else to go so I rang Ben for advice and he said he would sort it.

I wasn’t expecting anything, but just over half an hour later Rosie turned up, a woman who could have just shut me out as there was no family connection between us and I thought she would be angry, but she was far from it and whilst she was disappointed, she took me back to their place for the night.

The next few weeks I spent more time at Ben’s and finding somewhere to crash for the night which used to get me into more trouble and I never told anyone where I’d go other than I was sleeping at home which was occasionally true but usually it was spending the night in the park down the road because Mum was either off her head or with some guy.

I keep fiddling around with the guitar getting absolutely nowhere, so I head upstairs and try to do some cleaning like I promised Richard but there’s not much happening so I end up going for a drive to try and just clear my mind. Sitting in the car, I keep thinking about whether I should at least try to reconnect with my mother which I have mentioned in the past only for Ben to keep telling me how much of a bad idea it is.

Driving around, I end up parking my car outside my old house that I grew up in, I know at the very least Mum moved out a couple of years ago because our next-door neighbour Peter and Gwen would forward me any mail that came to the house because they had no idea where Mum was. Sadly, Peter had passed away last year and Gwen was now living with her daughter up north so I couldn’t even ask them.

Looking at the house, it’s had a fresh coat of paint but still looks a bit like the dump it was when we lived there. I sit back and think about the dread that I felt about heading home at times because there would be nights where Mum didn’t have enough food for dinner or I would have to go to bed at 6 because her new boyfriend would be coming over and she would lock my bedroom door until he had gone.

Part of me always knew that something wasn’t right about that but it wasn’t until much older that I realised that there was a reason why these boyfriends wouldn’t stick around too much longer or why I couldn’t come out of my room. I think about everything as my phone rings and I notice Ben is calling me to check in on me.

“Hey sexy, what’s the matter calling me in the middle of the day?” I say as contact with Ben isn’t unusual during the day but it’s usually either a text or on messenger that we talk. “Nothing’s the matter, I didn’t get to talk to you this morning so I wanted to see how you were”.

“I’m alright yeah, tired as all hell so just out getting some fresh air trying to come up with some inspiration for the new song,” I say covering my tracks a little which isn’t exactly a lie but it’s not exactly the truth either. I talk to Ben for about 10 minutes mostly about the song before heading back home.

I walk back in after grabbing some lunch and sit down on the couch having a look at what I’ve written so far “Restless by Liam P”. 

“My world was so dark before I met you, we might have been kids but you always got me through

 You always got me and I always got you, that’s why you had me and I always had you

That feeling of dread every time I had to leave always grew, I knew that it would never be for long but it always felt so wrong”

I sit there thinking about words and just struggle to put what I mean into proper lyrics which is what frustrates me the most because I know what I want to say in the song but I can’t just get it flowing which frustrates me because I have never had so much trouble in writing anything else. The hours tick by until Ben gets home earlier than expected.