Tackling The World

Our day at the Zoo was an amazing time for both of us, just wandering around the zoo seeing Isabella smile at everything is just phenomenal for the both of us, her excitement looking at the animals, the ride on the Ferry across to the zoo has made my whole trip. We both get back to Dani’s totally exhausted as Isabella can barely walk inside with how tired she is.

Dani is smiling as she sees Isabella slowly walking into the house “How was the day at the zoo?” she asks Isabella who says good but doesn’t really elaborate and goes into her room and curls up on the bed. “She’s totally exhausted, she was asleep on the train home and in the car, on the way home you know,” I say to Dani who dishes me up a plate of food “You didn’t need to do that,” I say to her as she tells me to shut up.“ 

Of course, I was going to feed you so just shut up and eat,” she says poking the tongs at me. I sit there looking eating the food pondering as she comes and sits next to me “You are really considering not going back, aren’t you?” she says directly as I’m eating.“

Honestly, I don’t know what to feel if that makes sense, like being able to spend time with you and Isabella has been amazing and this feels like home again especially hanging out with Scott but then at the same time I’ve got the most amazing friends in London that I’ve gotten so close to especially Ben and Liam with everything they’ve been through and their wedding coming up”.

Dani puts her arm around me “I know I told you that it’s your decision but remember what I said, there is still so much baggage here for you with the family and if things don’t go well on Wednesday, then what happens you know that you’re not going to have them for support but in London, you have a family there for you”.

I nod “Yeah I get that and I suppose it’s just all the time with Isabella and honestly, Scott and I have been getting pretty attached this time round”. Dani raises an eyebrow “Oh really?” she says with a mischievous look in her eyes.“

Yeah, well we caught up for a beer, and then it went back to the old times and we had some fun together and then just hung out and took things to the next level on Friday night,” I say laughing and smiling “Like we just fucked but both admitted that we just felt right together and all that stuff you know”.

Dani shakes her head and laughs “I know I ask about your love life but I don’t need the details of what happens in the bedroom” we both laugh and eat a bit more “Scott is an amazing guy, he’s so kind and helpful with everything and just to talk to”. I shake my head at Dani “I know he’s my best friend here but I didn’t expect you two to become so close while I was gone”.

“You better not be thinking anything Joshua, Scott is just a friend who helps me at Bunnings and does little things around the house for me and plays uncle to Isabella at times when I need a babysitter urgently or when I’m working from home”. I smile not knowing the caring and almost fatherly side to Scott which he never lets on “He is amazing isn’t he and I didn’t know about anything about that stuff” I say in between mouthfuls of food “I know he cares about you too but I never thought he’d be doing anything like that for a family that’s not his”.

I sit there and just talk to Dani for a bit about anything and everything which is good fun catching up with an old friend “About the party, should I know anything or be prepared for anything in particular?”

.Dani looks at me and shakes her head “Not really, Only Scott and my parents know that you’ll be there and I’ve told them not to say anything to your family about anything because I know that if they know you’ll be there that they probably won’t turn up”.  I nod but get worried because Dad might have already told the rest of my family that I might be there but it’s something that I’m just going to have to wait and see.

At about 8:30, I drive back to the hotel and just crash on the bed exhausted, my mind racing about what is going to happen on Wednesday night at the party whether my family turns up, speak to me or Dani about things. My thoughts on it being a good thing are now making me totally worried that it could absolutely end up in World War 3 given everything that my Dad said to me when I turned up at the house.

I end up falling asleep without having a shower and sleep through my alarm for a workout session but with all the walking I did at the zoo, I think I’ve earned the morning off from working out. I go and have a long shower and then head out for breakfast. I find a café and just eat there, reading the newspaper and watching everything go by through the city.

I don’t have any work commitments until this afternoon, so I head back to the hotel and just surf the net for a while distracted by my own thoughts about staying here, going back, and then most of all the reaction at the party. I think about everything too much and end up just going down to the gym and working out all my frustrations.

The workout does me good as I head back upstairs and get changed to go for the work meeting, I know it’s the middle of the night back in London but I shoot Ben a text to check in to see how he’s going, and then one to Liam to see if he met up with his mum yet. I surprisingly get a reply from Ben who tells me things are fine and that hope I am doing well and that either he or Liam will pick me up from the airport when I get back. I smile knowing that Ben is one of the kindest people that I had ever met and as much help I was to him, he was the same to me and that he helped me decide to talk to my family a bit and even trying to visit them.

My afternoon meeting is long, boring, and relatively unsuccessful with things not really working out to plan with the company that the company I work for is pretty annoying considering I could’ve been laying on the beach getting tanned or spending time with friends. I take a detour on my way home, passing my parents' house and I pull up outside for a few minutes wondering if I should take another chance on seeing my parents again before the party.

I park the car and get out but instead of going across the road I wander down to the little park nearby and sit down for a few minutes, thinking about playing here as a kid with Mum and/or Dad watching as me and my siblings played various games. Thinking about when my brother broke his arm after being stupid on the slide and eventually where Dani and I would talk as teenagers about our future and admiration for each other.

About half an hour later, I walk back down the road towards my parent’s house and I see in the distance Dad taking the rubbish and bins out. I pause for a moment; I don’t know whether he saw me when he looked down the road but I definitely saw him and realise that I can’t do it again and decide that it’s better if I go back to the hotel. I cross the road and walk behind some other parked cars before getting in, Dad still outside but with his back turned to me.

I get in the car and drive off, my heart racing that he saw me and feeling like a naughty child getting caught doing the wrong thing. I get back to the hotel and just flop down on the bed and thinking about what just happened and whether Dad will be wise to what the true plans of Wednesday night really are.