Circle Jerk, Take Two
Helmut arrived just as I was stepping out of the shower. He let himself in and waited on the sofa while I got dressed. “How's Kevin doing?” I yelled from the bathroom. Then added, “How are you doing? You still sober?”
“Not like I have much choice,” he muttered as I walked into the room, still pulling on various articles of clothing.
“What?”
“Still sober,” he snapped.
“Okay,” I hesitated. “I was going to ask you how it went with Kevin last night, but...”
“I don't want to talk about it.”
“You're still upset,” I began. “I understand..”
“Don't be condescending!” he barked, standing to face me. But catching himself, he continued, “I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that.” I could see him actively calming himself down. “Yes, I'm still angry and hurt, and worried, and...” He walked into the kitchen to look out at the sea. “...And I don't know what. But I don't want to talk about it with you, at least not yet. I'll talk to my sponsor, to someone who knows what it's like to be...Someone like me.” Then under his breath he whispered, “Step five.”
“Alright,” I offered, recognizing his need for boundaries.
“Besides,” he chirped, turning to face me with all the positivity he could muster, “Tonight should be fun, not meaningful.” He used air quotes on the last word. “I've been waiting for you to do that thing again where we all cum at once. Mike even got coverage for closing so he could be sure to be there. He didn't want to miss it again.”
“I told you, I didn't do anything. It was as much of a mystery to me as it was to everyone else.” From his expression I could tell that Helmut wasn't buying it, so I added, “Besides, after this morning, I probably won't be able to cum. Ben emptied me out.”
“You nasty little bastard,” he smirked. “Getting your disabled boyfriend to jerk you off during rehab. Weren't you worried the nurse would walk in?”
“Nasty?! Look who's calling who...” I realized I had not told him about the newest stage of Ben's recovery. I hadn't told anyone. I decided such a disclosure could wait, and I wanted to tease him a bit. “Besides, Most of Ben's nurses would just watch, and cheer us on.”
“That's what I'd do,” Helmut responded with a chuckle.
“Don't I know it.” In the pause that followed, I continued to get dressed, buttoning my shirt, and tucking it into my open pants. “I picked up some jeans from the apartment tonight, what do you think?”
“Better than khakis,” he admitted as I buttoned the waistband and turned to show him my denim clad ass. “But still too baggy. You could have a raging boner in there and no one would know. Kind of defeats the purpose.” I must have looked disappointed at this response, because he immediately added, “But it makes your ass look good,” and smiled. “You're not wearing underwear, are you?”
“Of course, why would you think...”
“Loose the jockeys,” he said with authority. “This is a no underwear kind of evening. Easy access is key. Plus, you might want to try a tee shirt instead of having all those buttons.” I didn't know quite how to respond, and he sighed. “Baby steps,” he whispered to himself. Then to me, “Did you at least get a jock strap to go with the jeans?”
“No, I...”
“Of course not. Well, not to worry. I came prepared.” He pulled a gleaming white jock strap out of one of his back pockets, and my jaw dropped. “Don't worry,” he said with a smirk. “It's new, unless you want a used one. You could have the one I took off in the truck before I came in.”
“You stripped in my driveway?”
“Yeah, thought you might like a show to get into the mood.” he unbuttoned his waistband and began to unzip his fly.
“The new one will do fine,” I said, quickly snatching it from his hand and turning towards the bedroom. “No show necessary.”
When I emerged fully clothed he teased, “At least you could have let me see you in it.”
“You'll get to see a lot more than that in a few minutes,” I teased back. “Besides, we're going to be late.”
Mike greeted us with his usual enthusiasm, and we sat at the bar to have a drink and watch the gathering dicks. Only a couple of regular patrons remained, and when he called time they quickly finished up and left. Meanwhile the guys who were there for the circle jerk began to make their way into the back. While I had had the experience of feeling their sexual energy with such intensity last week, I had not paid much attention to their faces, so I didn't really recognize anyone. Yet there were a couple that seemed familiar for some reason.
“Show time,” Helmut said quietly as he downed the last of his soda. Then getting up, he added, “and I mean 'show time'. I want to see you in that jock before you get naked. Come on.” He waited and followed me into the back. Most of the men there were already naked and stroking, but a few were still getting undressed.
Helmut stood back and folded his arms across his chest, waiting for his own personal show. I proceeded to take off my shirt and shoes, then slowly undid my pants. I had brought button fly jeans just for the hell of it, and although I felt awkward undoing all the buttons, Helmut seemed to enjoy it. An evil smile betrayed this almost as much as the obviously growing erection in his pants. I could see why he liked his jeans tight. As his boner snaked its way down his right leg I could make out all the details of his dick through the heavy fabric. I slowly pushed my jeans down past my hips, and turned to face away from him as I bent over to take them off of my legs. When I turned back around to give him a full view of the front of the jock strap, I noticed a small wet spot at the tip of his dick.
“If you ever decide to look for a new career...” he reached down to rub his throbbing cock. “I could make a few suggestions.”
“I bet you could,” I laughed. “Your turn. Strip!”
He obliged without hesitation. It took him all of five seconds to kick off his boots, (I hadn't noticed that they were not tied until now), pull off his tee shirt, and step out of his pants. True to his word, there was no underwear in sight.
“Easy access indeed,” I chuckled as I finally pulled off the jock strap and we moved into the circle.
While I did not get lost in the intensity of sexual energy I had felt last week, I did still feel the energy of the room. Mike had managed to join us this time, and I was surprised at just how beefy he was even though I already knew just how big his dick was. The chatter from the televisions in the next room had been silenced, and the only sounds were the soft moans emanating from the circle. There was something deeply relaxing about being in a room full of naked men, all of whom were lost in their own pleasure. There was a universal quality to it, like the endless sea and stars I had been so hypnotized by last week. But this was something within me, something within all of us. A shared humanity at its most intimate level. I realized that not all of the men here were gay, some were straight and just craved that feeling of being connected to other men at their deepest level. It felt like a sanctuary, a place of rest and safety, where we could leave all our cares and prejudices at the door and just be present for and with each other.
I allowed myself to watch as each man present went deeper into his own soul, making eye contact with a few, and observing those who chose to keep their eyes closed. There was no pressure to perform as no one was required to cum, only to be naked in solidarity with those who did. When one of the men quickened his pace and began to sound like he was about to cum, everyone turned their focus on him and offered him encouragement as he drew closer. He finally threw his head back and arched his back to shoot his load and everyone cheered and began to stroke faster. Over the next hour or so, a number of men followed his lead, and after a while it was clear that everyone who wanted to cum had done so. There were actually a few of us who didn't, including myself, Helmut, and Mike.
Truth be told, while I had enjoyed the evening, I wasn't really present. I spent much of the evening remembering the feeling of Ben's dick. In my hand, in my ass, the weight of it, its density and heat. When I saw anyone else's dick, all I could think of was Ben's. Whenever anyone else came, all I could think of was the wonderful feeling of having him cum inside me this morning. While I felt pleasure at stroking my own dick, all I wanted was for him to be stroking it, for him to be sitting on it, for him to be making me cum. I don't know why Helmut and Mike didn't cum. Maybe they were disappointed that I hadn't done my “magic” trick again, or maybe they were saving it to go out on the hunt after getting all turned on in the circle. They both certainly had strong enough boners throughout. All I knew was that my evening wouldn't be complete until I had seen Ben.
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