Chapter Six: The Road Home
I passed Mike’s bar on the way home, but decided not to stop in. I knew that in my current state of mind I was vulnerable to addictive behaviors and I didn’t want to risk becoming too dependent on alcohol. A couple of minutes later I passed the small cottage I had encountered while waiting for Helmut. The area was dark and the road was empty, so I stopped and decided to take a second look. I don’t quite know what possessed me, a kind of curiosity I couldn’t explain. Since I had first moved here, I had become quite accustomed to getting a feeling around empty buildings, hearing faint echoes of the people who once lived there. This was different. It was more like an echo from the future than the past.
I tried again to peer into the windows, but it was too dark to see much. A thin sliver of moon offered a small amount of light, but not enough to make out details. I circled around to the seaward side of the house, and discovered a rocking chair sitting on the narrow porch. I was in no hurry to return to the empty apartment, and decided to spend some time looking at the sea and the stars, and listening to the silence. After a few minutes I had a real sense of sitting on the edge of eternity. I watched the moon dip beneath the horizon and felt the darkness deepen around me. I was not tired. Quite the opposite, I felt more alive than I had for a long time. The infinite that lay before me, seeped into my soul slowly, and offered me a glimpse of what could be, hope.
Holding Ben tonight, despite the limitations, had felt like home. I had immediately popped a boner when I crawled into bed with him, and even though I knew he couldn’t feel it, I found myself pressing it against him hard, wishing he would respond to it, but knowing he couldn’t. The thought caused the boner to return, and I was suddenly awash with desire. Despite Sandra's insight, I hadn't been able to jerk off since the accident, the worry and depression had made it difficult for me to get any further than just the idea of sex. But now, all that pent up energy seemed to be forcing its way to the surface.
Wrapped in a darkness that was only punctuated by starlight, and finding myself on a private beach on a deserted stretch of coastline, I allowed the feelings their freedom. Before I knew what I was doing, my pants were down around my ankles, my shirt was pulled up to my chin, and I was pumping away frantically, lost in the moment. The cool sea breeze felt good against my bare skin, and the soft sounds of the water lapping on the sand was hypnotic. I didn’t really think of anything as I drew closer and closer to the massive wave of pleasure that I felt sure was about to overtake me. Instead, I drew myself deeper into my own primal sexuality. I didn’t need any porn images from the wank bank I kept in my head. I didn’t even need to think of how sexy Ben was. I was all the sexual inspiration I needed.
I was so far gone that even the sight of Helmut standing on the sand in front of the porch with a massive grin on his face, couldn’t fully pull me back. My hand continued its rhythmic movement as I stared at him from the depths. “Well, isn’t this a sight to behold?” he smirked. “Need a hand?” He reached for my dick and I removed my hand to give him easier access, continuing to stare helplessly from the depths of desire. He wrapped his finger around it and my eyes rolled back as a moan of pleasure escaped my lips and I gave myself over to him.
He jerked me a couple of times, then stopped. I put my hand on his to encourage him to continue, but his titillation had turned to concern. He stared down at me, having stepped up onto the porch, and asked, “What’s going on here? You’ve never let me touch you like that before. What’s wrong?”
Still lost in the sexual fog that had overwhelmed me, I muttered, “Nothing, I need...I need…”
When I returned my hand to my dick and started stroking again, he replied, “I can see what you need, but I’m not the one to give it to you, not while you’re in this state.” he removed my hand from my dick and began to reassemble my clothes. “But I think I know who can.”
He bundled me into his truck and we drove off back towards the Hospital. “Where are we going?” I asked in a daze.
“To Mike’s,’ he smiled. “I was on my way there myself when I saw your car on the side of the road. Looked suspicious, so I decided to get out and take a look. Never expected to find you...Are you OK?”
“I think so,” I answered weakly. “I just need to fuck.” I was again rubbing my crotch and moaning with the need to find some satisfaction.
“Don’t know about fucking, but I bet we can find someone to help you unload those balls of yours.” We pulled into the parking lot, and I noticed that there were more cars than when I had passed it earlier. “Bate night, tonight, Mike hosts an informal circle jerk in the back room after hours once a week. No fucking allowed, just guys sitting around naked, jerking off. Seems like you could use a bit of that tonight.”
Mike once again, seemed surprised to see me so soon, but after Helmut had spoken to him briefly, he ushered me into the back room, and told me to strip. While I did, he introduced me to the group and reminded them of the rules. “Remember, no touching without permission, and everyone makes their own decision about if and when to cum, no peer pressure.”
There was a general murmur of “Yeah, whatever,” type of comments as they only half listened, distracted by the fresh meat that was getting naked in the corner. When I had finally finished stripping, Helmut, who had also stripped by now, led me to a chair in the circle, and seated himself beside me. I think he was acting as my chaperon, realizing I was in a particularly vulnerable state, and making sure no one took advantage of me. Without a word my hand found its way to my cock and I resumed jerking, paying little to no attention to the men around me.
As my gaze turned inward once again, I could sense that I was not alone. It wasn’t Helmut or any of the strangers that surrounded me, rather it was the unseen presence from my dreams. I had a vague recollection of him being at the center of everything. I had no idea who he was, but his presence felt unexpectedly familiar, as if I had known him forever. And now, here he was, at the heart of my own sexuality, silently watching over me as I dove into a part of myself I had only vaguely been aware of before.
I was aware of no images or sounds, only a feeling of power and connectedness that grew stronger as I went deeper. I could feel the sexual energy of the men surrounding me even though I wasn’t looking at them. I could feel their strength flowing around me and through me. I could feel their fears and insecurities as well, and recognized the commonality of them. As the circle expanded, I could feel the people in the front of the bar, Mike’s impatience to join the circle once the regular customers had left. I could feel the desperation and loneliness of his patrons, and knew it as my own. Finally, beyond the boundaries of the building I could feel the immense power of the ocean, and the infinite possibilities of the stars, and in all this grandeur, I could hear my name being called.
As I turned my mind’s eyes toward the sound, the stars exploded around me and the sea rose to encircle me in the endless waves that had given birth to all life. I felt their foam breaking on my face, and as I opened my eyes to see their splendor, I realized that it was my own cum washing over me in one enormous ejaculation. The roar of the waves became recognizable as cheers from the other men who had been watching and jerking along with me. I continued to convulse for a full minute before my vision started to clear.
“Holy shit!” Helmut whispered from beside me. “How the hell did you do that?”
“Do what?” I asked, catching my breath.
“Make us all come at the same time. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
I laughed. “I didn’t make…” but as I looked around, the room, I could see that everyone, including Helmut, was covered in fresh cum. They were all laughing, cheering, and high-fiving, clearly sharing the experience of afterglow. I looked at Helmut with questions in my eyes. “What makes you think I did it?”
As he used his fingers to wipe the cum off his belly and chest to swallow it, he said, “Because I could feel it. The minute you grabbed your dick and went into that trance thing you were doing, the room changed. Everyone seemed hypnotized by you and started jerking at the same rhythm you were. I could feel the power coming from you, and I could have resisted if I wanted, but I thought, what the hell, and went with it.”
“I wasn’t trying to do anything,” I pleaded as I used the cum rag we had all been given upon entry. “I have no idea what...I don’t understand.”
“Well, it’s quite a party trick, however you did it,” he laughed. “And after the gallons of cum you fired off, I think I need to buy you a drink.”
He was right. I was literally covered with cum, more than seemed humanly possible. “I...uh...I suppose, after a week ...” I chuckled in disbelief as I realized just how enormous my load had been. It took three cum rags to wipe me down, and a fourth to wipe the cum from my hair.
Mike seemed disappointed when everyone walked into the front of the bar together. Unless there were some latecomers, it looked like he was going to be on his own tonight. I declined Helmut’s offer of a drink and told him I really wanted to get home. We left almost immediately, and when he dropped me off at my car I thanked him for taking the time to check on me.
“Of course.” he smiled, “No less than you would do for me.” I remembered the night of the carriage house fire and how we had all searched frantically for him, fearing he was in the blaze.
“You going home now?” I asked through the open window after exiting his truck and closing the door.
“Nah, going back to Mike’s to hang out.” he smirked. “Who knows what else tonight could bring?”
“What about Kevin?”
“He’s 18. He doesn’t need a babysitter. Besides, I’m sure he’s enjoying having the house to himself. He may be having some of the boys over for a circle jerk of his own. I wouldn’t want to horn in on that.” He gave me a wink and drove off towards Mike’s. I listened to the silence for a moment before climbing in my car and heading for home.
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