Close Call
When I walked into the bar, Helmut was sitting alone at a table in the corner. His back was to the door, and he was staring at the tall glass of clear liquid that sat in front of him. Mike rushed over to meet me at the door. “I delayed as long as I could, but I was afraid he'd walk out and go somewhere else. At least here we can keep an eye on him.”
“Is that his first drink?” I asked.
“Yup,” Mike replied. “Funny thing is, he hasn't touched it yet. He's just been sitting there staring at it.”
“Thanks, Mike, I'll take it from here.” I walked over to his table slowly. I didn't want there to be an air of panic or worry about my arrival. “Hey, fancy meeting you here.” Then I called over to Mike as if I hadn't yet spoken to him. “Can I get a coke over here, Mike?” He nodded and poured me a soda. When we were alone again I took a sip, and asked, “So, what brought you here? It's not circle jerk night already, is it?” He didn't answer. After a pause, I continued, “I'm on my way back to Ben's room, but I needed to let all that food settle first, thought a soda would help.
He continued to study the glass in front of him, for a moment, then without looking up he said, “Cut the crap. I know he called you.”
Okay,” I responded opting for silence. I stopped trying to draw him out and just sat with him, waiting for him to reach a place where he could talk. After about five minutes, he finally looked up and said, “How did Kevin take it?”
I hesitated, not sure how to respond, finally managing, “Alright, I guess. Of course, he is upset. It was a lot to take in.”
“Did she tell him everything?”
“How should I know?” I responded sarcastically. “You've never told me anything.”
“Yeah, I don't talk about it. Not my best hour.”
“So it would seem.” Silence once again descended upon us. After a bit I said. “Phil has offered to let him stay at the boarding house if he wanted some distance.”
He looked up in angry surprise. “Why would he need distance? I would never lay a finger on...” He stopped himself, swallowing hard.
“Both Phil and I know that, but it may take Kevin some time to figure it out, especially with his abusive background.”
Again, almost in tears, he whispered, “What must he think of me?”
“He thinks his father is a human being with weaknesses, just like everyone else.”
Helmut whipped around to see Kevin and Miss M. standing behind him. It was Kevin who had spoken. Helmut drew in a sudden ragged breath at this surprise, but seemed unable to speak.
Miss M. piped up, “Don't blame me, it was the boy's idea.”
Kevin suddenly noticed the glass on the table. “What's that?”
Helmut didn't answer.
“It's booze, isn't it?”
Helmut nodded.
“Well, what's the hold up? Aren't you going to drink it? I thought you were this irredeemable alcoholic.”
Helmut looked at his son in surprise. “If I want a drink...!”
“If you want a drink you can have a drink!” Kevin snapped back. “Go ahead, drink it! And you will never have to bother with me again.”
Helmut stood to face him and shouted, “You little...”
“Or!” Kevin's vehemence shocked Helmut into silence, “Or, you can show me just what kind of a father you are.” Kevin paused, looking him dead in the eye with an intensity that silenced the room. After a moment, Kevin added in a softer tone, “Just walk away from it and promise me you will never touch anything like that again.” Kevin continued the staring contest until Helmut finally backed down. “Come on, Auntie Phil packed leftovers for us. Let's go home and warm them up. I still need to hear your side of the story.”
Helmut's eyes opened wide. “I don't know if I can...”
“You have no choice.” Kevin said firmly but compassionately.
Helmut stood frozen to the spot, weighing his options. Then suddenly, without a word, he strode to the door, turning only to make sure Kevin was following him.
The stunned silence filled the bar for a minute after they had left, until Miss M. chuckled and said, “That kid has some big balls. I'll give him that. He was so sure of himself that he made me put the leftovers in Helmut's truck before we came in,” She sat down, picked up the vodka, and took a sip.
“Didn't you have enough this afternoon?” I chided.
“I didn't have a drop,” she insisted with a wicked grin.
“Not vodka, no,” I confirmed. “But plenty of gin.”
“Guilty as charged,” she joked, taking another small sip.
“Why?” I asked, “It's not like you.”
She looked at the glass she had just drunk from. “No,” she considered. “It's not.” she set the glass down and pushed it toward me. “Could you get rid of this please.”
I dutifully took it back to the bar and gave it to Mike. “Close call tonight,” I confided as I handed it to him.
“Wasn't it just,” he agreed. “But I think he's met his match.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“If anyone is going to be able to tame our Helmut,” he grinned, “That kid is the one to do it.”
“I chuckled. “You may be right.” I began to turn but remembered, and said, “Oh, commando for a week? Nice touch.”
He offered an evil grin as he said, “Yeah, I thought so.”
“So why have you been taking on Helmut's greatest vice?” I asked when I returned to the table.
“He's not the only one who didn't want to bring up the past,” she said after a moment. “How do you think I felt about tonight's revelation?”
“Then why bring it up at all?”
“It wasn't my idea.”
“Then whose idea was it?” I asked a bit annoyed.
She hesitated before whispering, “Andi's”
I threw my mind back to the rather terrifying apparition that had identified herself as Andi this afternoon. “But why this? Why now?”
“You heard how she talked, Not a straight answer to be had,” Miss M, chuckled. “But she was quite insistent. Kevin had to know everything. And he needed to know as soon as possible.”
“Do you think Helmut will oblige and tell his side of the story?”
“Without a doubt.” she insisted. “He's so terrified of losing Kevin, that he will do whatever it takes to keep him. Even humiliate himself in front of him.”
“From what I heard tonight, it sounded like he just got too drunk and talked too much in front of the wrong people, and they took advantage of him and you.” I speculated. “Not something to be particularly proud of, but certainly not rape.”
“I wonder if he will ever forgive himself,” she sighed.
We both fell silent for a few moments, lost in our own thoughts. “I wonder,” I asked, “That day when I first met him, shortly after I moved in, was that the first time you saw him after you kicked him out?”
She smiled slightly at the memory of his sudden reappearance. “It was. It had probably been about ten years or so; I had already decided to forgive him, but he didn't know that yet.”
“So that's why you let him stay?”
“I guess so,” she shrugged. “More of an intuitive decision than anything else.”
“Still, a good one, I'd say. I can't imagine life without him these days.”
“Me neither,” she agreed, once again wandering off into the labyrinth of her own thoughts.
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