Bird Came Down

“In the Song of Songs,” Valerie preached, “the Beloved is hiding in the cleft of the rock not because she fears the Lover, but because she fears all things, having been ‘blackened by the sun’, having been treated roughly. She has ceased to believe in anything. Now the voice of the Lover comes and says, ‘Let me see your face. The voice that is afraid to sing, that cannot pray is the voice the Lover wants to hear. He says, ‘It is sweet to me.’ The body you feel is damaged and ravished? It is lovely. Come out and let me see it.’”

Valerie stepped down from the pulpit, folding her arms behind her.

“How does the Lover come to us? How does God arrive at our door? In dreams and visions? Yes. But in each other. In the desire we have to love and be loved. Who is it that wanted to love you? Who is it that wanted to hear your voice and treasure your face, but you were too afraid to give a chance? This openness is freedom, is resurrection. The willingness to love and the courage to be loved is the door to God.”

Felix touched Scott’s knee.

Valerie crossed herself and ended the sermon and congregation echoed her, “In the Name of the Father, the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”

He always loved his sister’s sermons. Why couldn’t he enjoy being here? Maybe he wasn’t meant for church. But Felix kept on coming, because his sister kept asking.

At Communion, while they sang: Felix said: “You don’t have to belong to this church to take communion. You just have to be baptized.”

Scott shook his head, but he sent Joey and the boys up.

“How do we do this?” Joey whispered.

“Just get behind me and I’ll show you.”

They filed around the communion rail, and there was something beautiful about them all kneeling around the altar, elbows pressed together. Joey paid attention and saw that everyone crossed themselves before taking the bread and taking the chalice. There was a moment when he thought Wesley was headed to him with the chalice, but then Valerie swept past him and came to Joey. What had Felix told her, Joey wondered?

After communion, Scott leaned in and asked Felix, “Are there usually so many announcements.”

“Yes,” Felix said. “No one’s conned onto the fact that we could read the bulletin.”

“And lastly,” Father Duncan announced, “we have to call up Wesley.”

Felix explained that the area at the front of the church was not called the altar, but the chancel, and from where he was sitting in the chancel, robed in white, Wesley came up in his white robe and his father placed his hands on his shoulders.

“Stand up everyone. We’re going to say a blessing for Wesley because, not only is he my son, which is fortunate enough—” laughter here, though Joey noticed, not from Felix, “he is also on his way to seminary. So as he goes down to Sewannee, he can go down with our blessing. Everyone stand. You know the blessing.”

“Seminary?” Joey said.

Felix handed a Book of Common Prayer to Scott, and then one to Joey before opening one for himself that he lowered so the boys could read it with him.

While they were all waiting for Father Duncan to say what page, the priest smacked his head, looked around from where he stood before the altar with Wesley and said, “Wait a minute. This is actually in another book that you don’t have. Put your books down.”

Valerie came forward with a slim red book and Scott said, “What is that?”

“I believe it’s the Book of Occasional Services,” Felix told him. And Father Duncan opened it and, placing a hand on his son’s head, read:

“May God the Lord, who called Abraham to leave home and
kindred to journey to an unknown destination, and who led
the people of Israel by the hand of Moses his servant
through the desert to the promised land: Shepherd you in
your pilgrimage, and lead you by safe pathways, for his
Name’s sake.”

And the congregation answered, “Amen!”

In the social hall, the congregants surrounded the Flowers family and Gail touched Scott’s hand and said, “You’re such a handsome man. You remind me of my grandson,” before adding to Joey, “You’re a handsome man yourself. But you’re not with Felix, are you?”

“No, ma’am,” Joey answered, and Gail said, “I’m sure you’re breaking someone’s heart, though.”

Felix, looking across the hall, said, “You all will have to excuse me for a moment. There’s something I need to see my sister about.”

Felix departed while Gail asked, “Are you all Episcopalians?”

“We’re Catholics,” Scott said.

Gail looked at her husband, and then she shrugged.

“What can you do?” she said. Then she said in her Georgia accent, “But they can still come to Bible Study, right Fred?”

Fred was a bent ancient man whose purpose seemed to be accompanying Gail, and he nodded his head and said, “We’re doing the Apocrypha, so you might like that.”

“Apoca—” Scott began, looking for Felix, but by now Joey had disappeared too, and the kids were in the midst of the other children.

Joey was coming back toward Scott with juice and a cookie when he nearly stumbled into Wesley who was in cargo shorts and a polo shirt.

“Oh… hey,” he said, nervously.

“You don’t look sick,” Wesley said with a hollow laugh.

“Oh… uh…”

“You don’t like me, do you?” Wesley said, levelly.

When Joey didn’t answer, Wesley shook his head and said, “I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that. The answer’s obvious. I just won’t bother you again.”

Wesley gave him something like a smile and turned around, heading for the kitchen.

Joey stood there for a moment, not knowing how he felt. Then he felt like this wasn’t his church and he didn’t even like church anyway, and so he found Felix and Scott and said, “Can we leave?”

Scott looked surprised, but Felix said, “I felt that way an hour ago. Let’s go.”

The whole time Scott drove back, he kept touching Felix’s hand, and finally he said, “Joey, you wanna take the boys back?”

“What are you doing, Daddy?” Nathan asked, and Joey said, morosely, “I have a feeling he’s going to play on Felix’s bed.”

When they got to the Maron, they rushed up the stairs, and before Felix had even gotten his key out of the door, Scott was taking off his jacket, unbuttoning his vest.

Felix locked the door, and they were naked in a minute. Scott pressed him to the bed.

They kissed savagely and ran their hands over each other and Felix wanted him. Scott rubbed himself and let a long trail of his saliva down onto his cock before leaning down and entering Felix. Always, when it happened, they closed their eyes and moaned at the moment of tight penetration. For a moment they lay in silence, fitting together. Felix tugged on Scott’s newly growing hair and pulled his face into his chest, wrapping his thighs around him while, they began a steady rhythm that love and desire increased quickly to Scott fucking Felix harder and harder.

“Almost,” Scott panted, thrusting again, “there.”

Felix ran his hands down the Scott’s back and pulled him in. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth feeling Scott hard inside of him.

“I’m gonna come…” Scott warned him.

Felix had already come against his belly a few moments earlier and now, with the last few thrusts, Scott made a staggering noise and moaned, “Oh—fuck—” as, pulling back from Felix, he came, a hot slick shower all over his stomach, dripping from the red wet tip of his cock before her pressed his damp head in Felix’s arms.

The two of them lay side by side on the bed, gasping.

When Scott had finally caught his breath, he turned on his side and took the wet cloth from the little table at the end of the bed, wiping his chest, wiping the semen from his stomach while Felix got up and went into the bathroom. Scott waited for the water to finish running and said, “Do you think I should have taken Communion?”

“I thought you’d want to.”

“I wish I had.”

“Hold on,” Felix said. He got up.

“God forgive me if I’m wrong for this.”

He returned from the kitchen and he took out a small square of paper towel, but when he unwrapped, Scott said, “That’s a communion wafer.”

“When I went to Valerie after Mass, while you were talking with Frederick and Gail, I asked my sister for it.”

Scott continued looking at Felix who said, “Take it now.”

“Will you say the words?”

“No,” Felix shook his head. “Take it.”

Felix looked at Scott, and he was so beautiful to him, naked, his white body browned by summer, his bronze hair sticking up. He took the wafer reverently and placed it on his tongue. He sat, feet planted on the floor, naked as naked could be, penis damp and made small after sex, sitting in the dampness of his dark bush. Scott’s eyes were closed as the Host dissolved on his tongue.

He opened his eyes, looked up at Felix and said, “Amen.”

END OF PART TWO

THE NEXT SEVERAL CHAPTERS WILL BE THE THIRD AND ENDING PART OF THE BOOK