Bird Came Down

The door of the Pub flew open and Felix ran in followed by Ben and shouting, “Joey! Joseph Flowers!

Joey stood up and he and Wesley both said, “Felix!” then looked at each other.

“No, I never slept with him,” Felix said to Joey, “but I need you to help me drive your brother home.”

“What?”

“He tailed you.”

“What?”

“To make sure you were safe. And then Ben—hey, Wesley—pepper sprayed him.”

“You what?” Joey turned to the little blond.

“Not the issue,” Felix tugged on his shirt. “Com’on, let’s go.”

“Should I go too?” Wesley wondered.

Before Joey could answer, Felix, who was pulling him out of the Pub said, “Why not? Don’t let this stop the romance.”

Wesley left a tip, and gathered up his things, heading out the door while Felix told Ben, “See you Wednesday night.”

Downtown was his after dark. Nearly everything in town shut around six. Events happened in the parks. You could hear music playing in the little park in front of the Morris Theatre where lights danced around the marquis. Bright street lights illuminated the darkness. If he walked up two blocks and down Lafayette he could wake up his sister at the parsonage. The night was never scary to him, and in the dark he could talk to himself, make up conversations for stories, ask what was coming next.

Several months ago, when it was still cold with early spring, he had been lonely, and there were so many times in his life when the loneliness was bitter. But the truth is he liked being alone. He loved his solitude. He loved Scott. He really did. But even Scott’s presence did not match the presence of solitude.

“I should get back,” Felix told himself.

The fountain was several heavy jets of water splashing up out of a bare marble surface, and then onto two terraces beneath it and disappearing in a water fall all into tretnches. Felix imagined, in ancient times the homeless people who were sleeping on benches or in the corners would have taken their clothes off and bathed in this water. Standing up, he put his hand in..

“Ick!” Felix made a face. Refreshing as the spray from the fountain was, the water was slick and filmy to the touch and he murmured, “Stay out of this shit, hobos. It’s just for show.

“Now,” he said, wiping his fingers on his jeans, “time to get back to my poor, pepper sprayed boyfriend.”

When he returnedto the apartment, Scott was still stretched out on the futon with a cloth over his eyes.

“I thought I’d feel better now, but this shit still hurts.”

“Well, it was a whole bottle.”

“When I see that fucker…” Scott began, sitting up and taking away the cloth.

“You’ll do what?” Felix sat on the bed, looking at the red eyed man.

“You’ll jack his car up? Or you’ll punch him in the face?”

“You think this is funny, don’t you?”

“No, Scott, I actually don’t,” Felix said, “and when I see Ben on Wednesday, I’ll let him know that.”

“Are you serious?” Scott cried. “You’re actually going out with him!”

“I’m not fucking him,” Felix clarified. “We’re just going out.”

“He sprayed your… He sprayed me in the face with pepper spray.”

Felix shrugged, “You kinda had it coming. You beat him up and destroyed his car.”

“For you.”

“Because he had it coming,” Felix said. “And I appreciate that. But, honestly, you did it a little for yourself, didn’t you?”

Felix picked up the cloth and went to the kitchen where he ran cold water over it. He returned and pushed Scott back, laying the cloth over his eyes.

“You’ve done a lot of crazy things, Mr. Flowers. Into every berserker’s life some pepper spray must come.”

“Do you mind if I stay here tonight?”

“The real question is do your kids mind?”

“I think they’ll be okay, and what’s more I think my eyes hurt.”

Felix nodded. “It’ll be better when you get the house.”

Scott’s hand touched Felix’s.

“You’ll stay with me?”

“I will.”

He yawned. “I’m ready for bed. Let me get changed and light candles.”

“Where are you at in Lord of the Rings?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Felix said, standing up and unbuttoning his shirt. “We can go back to where we left off.”

“I don’t really remember. I fell asleep. But I liked it.”

“I’ll just rewind to a place I like then,” Felix, now in his shorts said, going to his computer.

“It is our bounden duty.”

“What?” Felix, who hadn’t completely heard him, said.

“Nothing.”

'But this is terrible!' cried Frodo. 'Far worse than the worst that I imagined from your hints and warnings. O Gandalf, best of friends, what am I to do? For now I am really afraid. What am I to do? What a pity that Bilbo did not stab that vile creature, when he had a chance!'

'Pity? It was Pity that stayed his hand. Pity, and Mercy: not to strike without need. And he has been well rewarded, Frodo. Be sure that he took so little hurt from the evil, and escaped in the end,because he began his ownership of the Ring so. With Pity.'

'I am sorry,' said Frodo. 'But I am frightened; and I do not feel any pity for Gollum.'

“I was listening to something on the radio,” Scott said.

Felix lit a tea light and slipped it into a little lantern, changed the timer on the air conditioner, and the fan sighed and slowed down while the last of the lights went out.

“Huh?” he fell into bed beside Scott.

“There was this thing on the radio and this man was talking about George Fox.”

“That’s the founder of the Quakers.”

“I know,” Scott said, “that’s why when you said your sister was talking about Quakers in her sermon, you reminded me of that. Anyway, he said that George Fox was basically a depressed teenager and all of his symptoms were depression, only instead of calling it that they called it God hunger. So instead of being drugged up on Prozac—even though they didn’t have it back then—he was looking for God, and then he found him.”

…He deserves death.'

'Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. I have not much hope that Gollum can be cured before he dies, but there is a chance of it. And he is bound up with the fate of the Ring. My heart tells me that he has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before the end; and when that comes, the pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many – yours not least…

“I was wondering,” Scott continued, “all my life I’ve fought this… thing in me. This darkness, this sadness. What if that’s what it is? What if it’s not just depression. I mean I want more. I want so much more, but I don’t even know what I want.”

One of the reasons Scott loved Felix is because, though he was very smart, he rarely offered answered. He listened, and he waited.

“But I’m not godly,” Scott said.

“What if you are?” Felix said. “What if you’re a saint?”

“Are you fucking with me?”

But I will always help you.' He laid his hand on

Frodo's shoulder. 'I will help you bear this burden, as long as It is yours to bear. But we must do something, soon. The Enemy is moving.'

There was a long silence. Gandalf sat down again and puffed at his pipe, as if lost in thought.

His eyes seemed closed, but under the lids he was watching Frodo intently. Frodo gazed fixedly at the red embers on the hearth, until they filled all his vision, and he seemed to be looking down into profound wells of fire. He was thinking of the fabled Cracks of Doom and the terror of the Fiery Mountain.

'Well!' said Gandalf at last. 'What are you thinking about? Have you decided what to do?'

“I am not… fucking with you,” Felix said. “Who knows what either of us is? God is not the nice people in churches. I think you are confusing sweetness with goodness.”

Felix placed his head against Scott’s chest, and in the dark Scott removed the cloth from his eyes and put it on the table behind them. He ran his hand over the stubble of Felix’s head and looked up at the dark blades of the fan twirling against the darker ceiling.

“It’s a beautiful night,” Wesley declared while they sat on the little hill over the walled path that ran above the river bank.

“I feel like no one comes out here,” Joey said.

Wesley grinned. “Nobody does. I just hang out alone.”

Above them, on Riverside Drive, the low roar of a passing truck passed them, and Wesley said, “It sure does feel nice to be here with someone.”

“You were a real pro about tonight,” Joey said.

Wesley shrugged. “It was no problem. My family does weird things, too.”

Wesley lay on his back and Joey joined him. They laced fingers.

“Joey, I know this may sound premature, but could I fuck you?”

Joey’s fingers moved from Wesley, and he sat up quickly. Wesley sat up too.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Wesley apologized. “It’s just.. with the stars the way they are tonight, and… everything.”

Then Wesley said, “It’s not like on the third date or the second date it will make any more sense. It’s just I feel like if we connect, we connect, and we do, and I just thought it would be neat tonight. That’s all.”

“Would you see me again?” Joey said.

Wesley looked shocked.

“Of course I’d see you again. That’s what I’m saying. I don’t want to wait till the third date and get being horny confused with being in love. I want us to do it right now, from the bat.”

“Okay,” Joey said. “You can fuck me.”

“Not on the grass,” Wesley told him as Joey was lying down. “You’ll mess up your clothes. We can do it standing up, looking out on the water.”

So they walked across the broad path, and Joey looked both ways, but no one was coming. He placed his hands over the stone wall and looked out on the river while Wesley unfastened his shorts and pulled down his underwear. He heard Wesley letting a trail of spit hock out of his mouth, heard him rubbing himself. Then the other boy lay against Joey, pressing his penis to him, pressing it inside and they both gasped. Joey felt Wesley entering him, and then Wesley hooked his arms around Joey and, breathing softly, began fucking him. The stars were milky in the sky and the lights of the factories across the river shone peach colored into the moving water while Wesley pressed deep inside of him. He tried not to cry out while Wesley made gasping noises. It wasn’t long before Wesley grasped his shoulders, his body stiffened and he heard Wesley gasp: “Stardust!”

Joey felt Wesley coming inside of him, and it was then that it began to feel good, then that Wesley’s cock moved in him and he was thrilled with the awareness of another human being inside of him. Wesley’s hands were in his shorts and Joey was stiff too.

“I wish you’d do it to me too, Joey,” Wesley’s voice had a damp, spent quality to it. “So when we finally leave this park we can know we did it to each other.”

“Alright,” Joey told him. It wasn’t until the end that he had been turned on by Wesley fucking him and when they switched, their shorts already down, and Joey spat on his hand and used some of Wesley’s semen for lubricant, Wesley said, a light in his eyes, “If you look up at the stars when you come it feels like a supernova.”

Wesley was the sweetest, prettiest boy Joey had ever seen, and he didn’t want to look at stars. While he fucked him he thrilled to Wesley’s moans. The other boy sounded like he was being struck over and over, and his anus clamped tight on Joey’s cock while his hands reached back, pulling Joey in. Wesley shouted out as he was fucked, but when Joey came with a force that lifted him off his feet and pressed him deep into Wesley, his shout was drowned out by the roar of a passing train.

Because it was dark, Wesley dropped Joey off right in front of his house. He leaned in to kiss him, and though Joey took the kiss, he didn’t like it. He wasn’t sure he liked Wesley.

“Can I see you again?” Wesley asked.

He was a nice guy. He was a really nice looking guy. He was just what Joey was supposed to like.

“I—” Joey had been about to say “I guess.” Now he said, “Yes.”

“What about Friday night?”

“Friday’s cool.”

“Great,” Wesley kissed him again. “I’ll sit here and make sure you get in safe.”

Joey nodded. And he knew that Wesley’s waiting was a good thing too, proof that he was a good guy.

“Thanks,” he said. He kissed him because he thought he should, and then he got out of the car, shut the door and walked up the hill. He went in the house, flipped the porch lights on and off a few times, watched Wesley wave and drive off.

Upstairs his computer was still on and Wesley’s profile was up with his picture. He didn’t look at it. The message beside it said, “Be there in ten. Can’t wait to meet you.”

He clicked off of the site and sat on his bed.

“Friday night.”

Well, he was a man of his word, and he would have to go through with it.

He knew he didn’t ever want to see Wesley again.