Bird Came Down

Dear readers, thank you for all of your support this week. We have made it to another Friday and tow chapter.... twenty six, I believe of our long and crazy story. Well beyond, I believe, the half way mark. Cheers, and have a wonderful weekend.

Joey stopped reading the boys the story he’d read a thousand times when he heard the door open and told Taylor and Nathan their dad was home.

“He’s coming,” Taylor said with baited breath, and Joey marveled that Scott could elicit this much excitement.

“Fi fi fo fum,” Scott’s voice came from down the hall, his feet stomping heavily on the floor. “I smell two little children.”

Taylor’s eyes went wide, and he put his finger to his lips while Nathan nodded, snuggling into Joey with delicious terror.

“Fi fi fo fum,” Scott repeated. “I smell the blood of little children.”

Nathan grinned, thrilled at the fear.

“Fee fi fo fum,” Scott grumbled, and launched into Joey’s room jumping on the bed while his children screamed and,running out of Joey’s arms shouted as Scott tackled them, laughing.

“He’s got us!” Taylor shouted, laughing.

“I’ve got you!” Scott shouted, rolling on the floor with them, and Scott’s mother came up the stairs, leaning on the side of the door and watching them with an indulgent smile.

“Why move out? I wish you’d just stay here,” she said.

On his back, tie askew, Scott look up at his mother and said, “I doubt dad feels the same way, and the judge will agree.”

She shrugged and Scott looked up at his brother.

“As the pug asked the Bassett hound, why the long face?”

Joey shrugged.

The kids, paying attention to their father, looked up at Joey.

“You all run along,” Scott said, getting up and dusting off his trousers, “I have to talk to your uncle.”

The boys nodded and left the room with their grandmother, and Scott kicked off his dress shoes and climbed onto the bed.

“What’s up?”

“Is it obvious?”

“To me it is. You’re my brother.” Scott sat at the head of the bed beside Joey, pulling his knees to his chest the way his brother did.

Joey nodded, looking vacant eyed and playing with his socks.

“I don’t like to talk about sex,” he said.

“Whaddo you mean?” Scott said, though he shuddered and pulled a little away from Joey. He loved his little brother and felt warm to him, but the mention of sex reminded him that they’d both been with the same person.

“I mean…” Joey began, frowning, “that part of my life is personal. And… It’s not really happy. And… I don’t know how to talk about it.”

“But something’s bothering you.”

Scott swallowed. He really didn’t want to have this discussion.

“Have you ever… have you ever been with someone who made you feel like shit? Has it really just fucked with you?”

“This isn’t about Felix is it?” Scott said.

“No!” Joey shook his head. “No, Felix never made me feel bad. Felix is one of the only people who never made me feel bad. This is about… Just, have you ever been with someone who made you feel like that?”

“Yeah,” Scott said shortly. “Yeah. A few times. A…”

He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to talk about meeting people online who closed their eyes while he fucked them and then left the room before he’d taken the condom off. He didn’t want to tell his little brother about compromising himself in dangerous places with people he pretended weren’t there and was relieved when they were actually gone.

He put his arm around Joey.

“I don’t want you to have that kind of life,” was all Scott said. “I don’t want people hurting my little brother. You’re a great guy. You don’t have to take that.”

Joey nodded, and then suddenly his face scrunched up and Scott looked surprised.

“It’s all I ever had,” Joey said quickly, tears falling from his face.

Scott got up swiftly, closed the door, and sat back down, wrapping his arm around his brother.

“No guy ever treated me like I was anything until Felix, and I told him I didn’t want to date. I told him I didn’t want anything serious, and then you came back and you love him, and it’s all over, and I’m not going to be with him again. I’m just going to be with, shitty people.”

He pounded his fist into his palm.

“If it makes you feel any better, that’s my future too.”

“It doesn’t make me feel better,” Joey said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “And what about Matt?”

Then he said, “I should never have said anything to Felix about Matt. I’m so sorry.”

“No,” Scott shook his head. “I should never have spent the first thirty years of my life living a lie.”

“But what about Matt? I mean… this weekend… Did you all?”

“Matt’s my best buddy and what happened happened and… We’re not a couple.”

“Then nothing happened this weekend.”

“I love you, Joey, but—”

“I get it,” Joey nodded.

“And when I got back here, I just knew I had to see Felix. Just see him even if nothing ever happens. I went to the Maron and called him, but he didn’t get my messages. So I just sat around for a while and—”

“Oh, no!” Joey put his hand to his mouth.

“What?”

“I was at the Maron. I was upstairs and I saw you, and then I tried to find you, but you were gone. I thought you would be home.”

“I went to work in the law library.”

Joey nodded, “And then mom asked me to watch the kids, and so… I did. And then you got here, and I forgot.”

“Forgot what, Joey!”

“Oh, when you were leaving in one direction, Felix was coming back in the other, and he was looking around so, don’t you see?”

Scott looked at his brother in surprise.

“He was looking for you. He was coming for you.”

Scott reached into his pocket and turned on his phone.

“Check your messages,” Joey said

Scott looked doubtful.

“You not being with Felix isn’t going to make me more happy,” Joey told him. “Please check it.”

Scott noddedand opened his phone. As he listened, he tried to look serious, but Joey could see the hope on his brother’s face.

“He said he was waiting for me. He said he came for me.”

“And?”

“And he was going out and wouldn’t be back till tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Joey said. “Well, you should still call him.”

“Should I?” Scott said, sounding like a nervous teenager.

“Call him,” Joey charged.

Scott nodded, getting up and pacing the room with one hand in his pocket.

“Uh—Felix! It’s me. Its Scott, and… Yeah. I just missed you. Well, I should have planned better and not just shown up. Look, I just wanted to see you. You know. I thought about you all weekend, and…”

“Ask him to dinner,” Joey hissed. “Tomorrow night.”

“And I want you to come to dinner tomorrow night. Here.”

“Say please,” Joey whispered.

“Please! It’ll be painless. I just want my family to meet you.

“Alright. Tomorrow? I’ll be around at six. Okay? Good. Great! Tomorrow.”

Scott stood looking at the wall and Joey said, “You can turn around. I want you to be happy.”

Scott turned around trying to look serious, but his eyes were shining.

“This is just… we don’t really know how this is going to go,” Scott said. “It’s just…”

“I know,” Joey nodded, smiling too.

“You alright?” Scott crawled back onto the bed.

“If you’re alright, I’m alright,” Joey said.

Scott didn’t say, “We’ll find you someone,” or “It’ll all work out.” He didn’t say any of that. He just kissed Joey on his head and hugged him.

“I think you’re the best little brother in the world.”

“And I think you’re the best big brother,” Joey said. “Now get out of here so I can get some rest.”

They kissed deeply, tongues and bodies entangled, Ben pressing his body to Felix’s, stretching himself out.

That night they were completely in the moment. Before there had been, and afterwards there would be thoughts for the future, about the past. But tonight with Ben he thought of Ben’s fingertips, of the light hair up and down his thighs, of the wetness of his mouth, of the pressure of him, entering him gently, like a lover asking permission. Pushing back Ben’s thighs, fucking him. Felix’s being pulled in, being fiercely welcomed and overwhelmed.

When it was over Ben said, “It’s funny but I didn’t know I wanted that. Not until we did it.”

Felix said nothing. Ben stopped talking after a while. Felix said everything with his hands, gently moving across Ben’s breast, his stomach, under his stomach where the hair went from red to deep black like the earth, then up again, kissing him.

That as he fell asleep with Ben between his legs, Ben’s mouth closed on his nipple, he thought of Scott, and what would happen tomorrow, troubled him not at all.