Bird Came Down

Dear Readers,welcome to another week and another dose of Scott, Felix, Joey and company....

“So, you’re Felix!” Mr. Flowers stretched his hand out and shook Felix’s.

“You’ve heard of me?”

“I’ve heard of you for years,” Mr. Flowers said. “Call me Jake.”

As Felix shook his hand he looked at Scott and saw that his face was pink, but then Scott called: “Boys get down here!”

They came chasing after their grandmother and Scott barked, “Attention!”

Taylor and Nathan stopped, saluted their father smartly and Scott said, “Say hello to Felix.”

Taylor went up and stuck out his hand, but Nathan said, “You cut.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“I’ll make this easier,” Felix said. “I can take both of your hands.”

The boys seemed pleased but shy over this, grinning and hiding their faces, and Scott said, “Let me see your hands.”

“Grandma had us wash them,” Nathan said.

“Hands,” Scott repeated.

The boy held their hands out, and Scott stuck out his bottom lip, beading his eyes.

“Um…. They pass inspection. Proceed to the dinner table.”

The twins marched out of the living room into the dining room while Felix said, “Well now my hands should pass inspection. Where’s your bathroom?” he asked Mrs. Flowers.

“We actually just use the sink,” Scott nudged him over.

“Felix!” Joey shouted from the kitchen.

“You really are the most popular man in the house,” Jake Flowers nudged him.

“I told him to invite you to dinner,” Joey stage whispered.

“What’s everyone having to drink?” Joey cried. “Felix, you want a beer?”

“I would love a beer.”

“Scott never has a beer,” Joey said. “You probably want Kool Aid.”

Scott smiled brightly and said, “It makes your lips red. How can I not?”

Joey nodded, grinning back. “Milk for the boys. Beer for the grown ups and Kool Aid for Scott—ouch!” he cried while Scott flicked him with a towel. “See how he treats me?”

“Do you just want to get dropped off, or do you want me to come up?” Scott said, leaning over to open the door.

Felix looked at Scott’s arm and Scott said, “I just want to stay with you.”

“Well, then let’s park the car,” Felix said. “And not in the main lot—”

“Cause it’ll get towed,” Scott remembered. “Next to the Masonic Temple across the street.”

Felix nodded and they drove a little up the street, crossed Maron, and parked in front of the pillared building.

“Hold on,” Scott said.

He rounded the car and opened the trunk and pulled out a gym bag.

“Are you serious?” Felix demanded.

Scott slung the bag over his shoulder and explained, “It’s a just in case you let me spend the night bag.”

Scott smiled at him and Felix shook his head. “Come on.”

They crossed the street to the Maron and went through the courtyard.

“It’s a beautiful night,” Scott said. “Isn’t it?”

There was something in how Scott spoke that made Felix stop and realize he was actually being asked a question.

“Yes,” he said. “It is.”

He opened the lobby door and passed into the yellow light of the Maron Arms. They went up the elevator and as it hummed up the seven stories, Scott asked, “How do you feel right now?”

“That’s a strange question. I’m sure I don’t know what you mean?”

“I’m excited,” Scott said, frankly. “I’ve missed you so much, and we haven’t been together in so long.”

“I’m excited too,” Felix said, honestly. It hadn’t been that long at all, but Felix didn’t say that because he knew just what Scott meant.

The elevator jumped to a halt, and the doors swung open for the seventh floor, the carpet on the floor, the gold framed mirror. They went right, to Seven West, and as Felix was coming to his corner apartment, he saw Kevin.

“What’s going on?”

“I brought up cookies,” Kevin, the broad shouldered, tanned boy from downstairs said, shaking the foil covered plate. “I see you have company.”

“This is Scott,” Felix said, and as Scott stooped and shook Kevin’s hand, Felix said, “Would you like to join us?”

He knew Kevin wouldn’t, that the boy wanted to spend some time alone with him, and Felix would have liked that too.”

“It’s getting late,” Kevin said, shaking the paper plate of cookies. You want these?”

Before Scott could open his mouth, Felix said, “You keep them for tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” Kevin repeated with a smile.

As Kevin turned to leave, Felix made sure Scott didn’t see him discreetly cup the little surfer boy’s ass.

Entering the apartment, Scott took a deep, theatrical breath and set his bag down.

“I feel like I’m home,” he said.

“I was going to say I do too,” Felix began, “but then this is my home. I guess I should say it feels more like home when you’re here.”

Scott looked surprised.

“Really?”

“Really, Scott,” Felix’s tone was almost defeated. He slipped off his shoes and climbed onto the couch, and Scott followed his lead. Without asking he wrapped his arm around Felix, and then pressed himself against him.

“I missed this.”

“Do you want to go to bed?”

“I thought you said there wasn’t going to be any…”

“And there isn’t going to be,” Felix said. “But I do want to go to bed.”

Scott nodded and got up. Together they pulled out the bed and mounted the mattress onto it, and then they stretched out the covers and Felix said, “I’ll put the air on the timer. You still want it on seventy-three.”

“You remembered.”

“Of course I remembered.”

Felix went to his desk for the remote control and then he clicked on his computer.

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,

Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,

Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,

One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne

In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,

One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind

Them…

In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

“What’s that?” Scott began, as he unbuttoned his shirt.

“You Tube has downloaded audiobooks. It’s the Lord of the Rings.”

Scott shook his head as he shook off his shirt.

“I never heard it. Or read it. I saw the movie, though.”

He unbuckled his pants and they fell.

“It was boring,” he said.

Felix dismissed this and looked at Scott in his black briefs.

“You really did plan on staying here tonight.”

Scott grinned, “I hoped.”

This tale grew in the telling, until it became a history of the Great War of the Ring and included many glimpses of the yet more ancient history that preceded it. It was begun soon after _The Hobbit_ was written and before its publication in 1937; but I did not go on with this sequence…

“And, I’m not saying the book is boring,” Scott corrected. “I know how you feel about books. I’m just saying the movie was.”

“I can’t really be mad at you,” Felix said. “There is a beautiful six foot man with a happy trail going down his chest to his black briefs and he’s about to get in my bed. How can I be mad?”

Scott jumped onto the bed, and it groaned. Felix winced and Scott grinned, embarrassed. But then he situated himself like a centerfold and held out his arms, and Felix, turning out the last light so that only a white tea light was burning behind a lamp shaped like the sun, took of his clothes and climbed into bed, Scott pulling the covers over both of them.

This book is largely concerned with Hobbits, and from its pages a reader may discover much of their character and a little of their history. Further information will also be found in the selection from the Red Book of Westmarch that has already been published, under the title of _The Hobbit…_

“I like Hobbits,” Scott said.

“I thought you didn’t.”

“No,” Scott clarified. “I did not like Lord of the Rings. But I remember the Hobbit cartoons. Remember the ones that used to come on when we were kids?”

“Yes,” Felix reported. “I do.”

“I loved those guys. I think they’ve got the right idea about life.”

Felix started laughing and Scott said, “Are you making fun of me?”

“Not at all.”

“Can we be serious for a moment?”

“I don’t know,” Felix said, honestly. “I don’t know how I like us being serious.”

“Please.”

Felix sat up.

“Alright.”

Scott sat up too.

“I know you said you wanted someone to lie to you.”

“I never said that.”

“You said you wanted someone who loved you enough to lie to you.”

“Oh… Yes. I just meant… I’ve known a lot of men who seem not to think I’m worth investing in and just tell me the worst things about themselves off the bat, things you would never tell someone you wanted. And I just want someone who actually wants to impress me, who thinks I’m worth protecting from a scandal.”

“I do think all those things about you,” Scott said.

“I know,” Felix said.

“But I can’t move forward with you if I’m lying,” Scott told him.

“Okay.”

“What do you see?” Scott demanded, “when you see me?”

“That’s the… weirdest question.”

“Maybe,” Scott agreed. “But what to you see?”

Felix took a breath.

“The most beautiful man I’ve ever seen,” he said, simply. The very first time I saw you. You were so… good looking. I don’t mean hot, though you were. I mean you just looked like a good person. And you looked strong and kind and sweet and… all the things you were. And when I knew how you felt about me I felt lucky, and when you were gone I felt so sad, and when you’re here I feel like you should be here. Like nothing else should be here more than you.”

“Do you know how I got that black eye?”

“You wouldn’t tell me.”

“I couldn’t tell you, and maybe I shouldn’t now. But if you’re going to love me you have to love me for who I am. Not who I’m pretending to be.”

Felix nodded, looking up at Scott whose eyes were hollow spots in the dark.

“When Kim started cheating on me I started cheating on her. With guys. I’d never been with a man until then. I used to meet them off Craigslist. We’d get protection and all that stuff and I’m clean, but I used to hook up with guys in hotel rooms.”

“It will take a lot more than that to shock me, Scott,” Felix said.

“That day I had done it too. I met this kid, Joey’s age maybe, and picked him up in my car and we went to a cornfield. We were out there. Having sex. And… I always tried to be kind and tender. Most men don’t really like that. They don’t want to feel. They just want it to be over. I said something to him and he slugged me. He almost knocked me out and stole my keys, and I realized he was trying to steal my car. So I went after him and tackled him.”

Felix waited for him to continue and then, in the dark, Scott said:

“That’s not true. I raped him. He liked it. He liked me angry better than he liked me loving. That’s not a justification, it’s just the truth. When I got up and got in the car he thought—he actually thought—I was going to drive him back into town. But I left him there in the cornfield, and two hours later I showed up at your door.”

“I’ve been having sex with Ben,” was all Felix said.

“Oh,” Scott said.

“But he’s not you. He is not my home. You are my home.”

“I am a bad house,” Scott said. “I’m afraid I’m a bad man. I thought you had to try to be bad, but you don’t. It must be easy to be bad.”

“You are not bad.”

“What is there good about me? I threatened Joey. I almost strangled him. I beat up Ben. I’m violent, and I’m crazy. And… You know how I never drink?”

Felix nodded, and then when he wasn’t sure that Scott had seen, he said, “Yes.”

“It’s because I’m a blackout drunk. I can’t just have one drink, or else crazy things happen.”

“I didn’t know.”

“It’s why I was late for school all the time. It’s why the first time I came here I got drunk and passed out. And I’m not a good person. I’m not. And I’m full of demons.”

“Then maybe neither one of us is good,” Felix said. “It sits in my mind. I think of the things I do and maybe neither of us is good, because you don’t seem bad to me, even when I know what you’ve done I’m in love with you.”

“The truth is I wish I could see you the way you see me.”

Felix said, “I see you exactly the way you are.”

Scott looked at him. His eyes were pits, and then for a moment they glinted in the night.

“You do see me!” Scott realized, and as Scott’s eyes bore into him, Felix wasn’t sure if the smile was a child’s approaching a present, or a tiger’s approaching its prey.

“You see me, Felix, and I see you.”

Felix shuddered with a thrill of fear. They looked away from each other. They looked into the darkness, and while Bob Inglis was reading The Lord of the Rings, Felix said:

“We’re jungle creatures, Henry.”

“What?”

Felix repeated, still looking into the darkness of the room, “We're jungle creatures, Henry, and the dark is all around us. See them? In the corners, you can see the eyes.”

“That’s from the Lion in Winter,” Scott said. “I remember that. We saw it together.”

Then Scott said, “Then why do I feel like you just made it up, and like it’s true?”

“Because it is.”

“Joey came to me crying cause somebody hurt him.”

“They’re bound to. He’s a good boy.”

“I wanted to kill them. I feel violent all the time. If it’s a jungle out there, and if I’m a jungle creature, and you’re a jungle creature… If… we’re so wild, then who’s going to protect you from my claws?”

“Who’s going to protect you from mine?”

Scott said nothing at first. At last he said:

“We’ll have to protect ourselves from each other.”