Bird Came Down

Theme Song: To Be With You, Mr. Big

Felix woke to the sound of the passing train. His thigh was numb, and yellow sunlight was coming through the blinds. The covers were off the bed, and Joey was sprawled across him like a crooked cross, his mouth open on Felix’s shoulder, and drool on the pillow. Felix didn’t want to wake him. He looked sweet that way, and Joey had actually never slept in his bed. They had sex, sometimes long bouts of it, and then Joey went home.

As the train noise died, Felix craned his neck. He couldn’t see what time it was from here, but he knew sooner or later the alarm would go off, and he would have to get up and go to church. It was Sunday. He stretched out his leg and Joey fit between his thighs better. Saint Margaret’s had no real claim on him except that Valerie had made him promise to come for a year. He’d much rather stay right here.

“Joey,” Felix whispered, tapping his buzzed head. “Joey.”

“Um,” the boy, who was a man, who had a man’s muscles, back and buttocks, pushed closer to him, and pressed his erection into him.

“You need to wake up,” Felix said, pushing him gently on his side so that Joey blinked his blue eyes and looked at him.

“Oh, shit,” Joey murmured.

“You can stay as long as you want,” Felix told him, stretching, “but I have to make coffee and get in the shower.”

Joey yawned and stretched while Felix got up.

“I heard those assholes downstairs half the night,” Joey said. “I wonder if they heard us.”

“I hope so,” Felix said.

When Felix was naked in the kitchen, Joey said, “Coffee sounds like a good idea. Can I get some?”

“Um hum,” Felix said.

A few moments later he heard Joey pissing in the bowl and thought about Scott. Was it a right that men seized on? Having fucked you, they pissed with the door open? Was it some anthropological thing from caveman days, marking territory? Joey hit the flush, and as Felix came out, the coffee percolating, Joey sat on the side of the bed, unshaven, very handsome, and he looked up at Felix.

“We should have sex again.”

“Again?”

They’d had good times in the past, but last night the sex had lasted well into the night, deep and aggressive, pushing past some deep need and all resentment. Joey reminded Felix of an old boyfriend whom he used to send clips from porn displaying all the positions he wanted to try. That boyfriend would show up in the morning and they would do them, sometimes successfully, sometimes, falling off the bed and laughing.

Last night so much had sprung to their minds, and they had done it, drifted to sleep, gotten up to do it again, finally fallen asleep in each other’s arms.

“Should we do it before we shower or after?” Felix asked.

Joey sniffed his arm pit and said, “I like the way I smell.”

The dark hair on Scott’s body went to gold, Joey’s went to black. Joey’s sex came up thick and hard from a black bush. Ready. Felix moved to turn off the alarm clock.

“We’ll do it before we shower, then,” he said. “But I have to use the bathroom first.”

“So are you going to tell me what happened last night?” Valerie asked when they were at the Pub for lunch after church.

“I don’t know,” Felix said, spearing a piece of cod with his fork. “Are you going to tell me how your panties ended up on the chapel altar back at your seminary?”

“Felix!” Valerie looked around the Pub carefully.

“Exactly,” her brother returned.

“Well, I just won’t ask any questions, then.”

“That would be best. You’d probably just be disappointed, anyway.”

“Then I think I already know the answer to what happened. Where are you and Scott at now?”

“That would be a question, Val.”

Valerie sighed, and Felix said, “The truth is, every time he goes up to Michigan, I really don’t know where we are. But we shouldn’t be anywhere because he’s married.”

“He loves you, Felix!”

“Really?” Felix put down his fork, incredulous. “You’re a priest and you’re telling me about how much a married man’s love means.”

“I’ve seen him,” Valerie said. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. No one has ever loved you more.”

“No one?”

“Well, me. But I’m your sister. You know what I mean.”

“And he said we were not exclusive. I said we weren’t. And you know what Val? We were not supposed to sleep together. That just happened when he came back from Michigan all nuts. And now… Well, he came back again.”

Valerie said nothing while she watched her brother’s brow knit. He was decided something, she knew. Then he said, “Fuck it, I will talk about it.”

On the stage an afternoon band was setting up, and the lead singer began to sing:

Doctors have come from distant cities

Just to see me

Stand over my bed

Disbelieving what they're seeing

They say I must be one of the wonders

Of god's own creation

And as far as they can see they can offer

No explanation

“Ugh,” Felix muttered. “No one else should ever do Natalie Merchant.

“Anyway,” Felix said, playing with his cole slaw, “Scott has apparently brought his kids back here, and he’s going to set up house with them.”

“Felix,” Valerie said, gently, “they are his children.”

“Goddamnit I know that. I’m not one of your crazy parishioners. You don’t have to priest counsel me.”

“Someone is touchy.”

“I’ve been touchy for almost forty years,” Felix dismissed it. “Oh, and here’s the topper. He fucked his lawyer.”

“He….” Valerie started. Then she said, “Male or female?”

“Male. Which matters more,” Felix said. “They had sex yesterday. He told me how he loved me and wanted us to settle into a life, and then he went and fucked Mac or Matt or whatever.” Felix stopped, looking at a family looking at him.

“Could you…” “ the mother began, “tone it down?”

Felix opened his mouth. The kids were looking at him amazed, and Felix said to the children, “You just need to know shit like this happens. And it’s not fair.”

“Well, I never—” the father began.

“Oh, you know you have,” Felix frowned at him.

“She’ll make her waaaaaaaaaayyyyyy! She’ll make her way!” the singer caterwauled.

“Oh, who the fuck is that who cannot sing?” Felix stood up, but when he looked up he immediately sat down.

“Oh, I’m leaving!” the mother said, but Felix leaned over and said, “Valerie… look? The singer.”

Felix shoved his fedora on his head and looked away.

“That looks a lot like Ben,” Valerie said.

“Because it is.”

“Well, that’s….” Valerie looked at her brother. “That’s awkward. That’s awkward, isn’t it?”

“Maybe he doesn’t see me.”

“Uh…. Maybe. But… it isn’t likely.”

“Why not?” Felix asked, paying a great deal of attention to the floor.

“Because he’s coming to our table.”

“Felix, is that you?” a playful voice said.

“Felix stop looking at the table and say hi to Ben,” Valerie said.

Felix looked up miserably and Ben said, “It’s good to see you. Can I sit down?”

“Why are you dressed like me?” Felix said as Ben, wearing a Madras shirt, sat down, his fedora cocked over one eye.

“I wasn’t in such great shape last time you saw me,” Ben said, ignoring the question.

“Well, you look great now,” Valerie said.

“Yeah,” Ben touched the gold red beard growing along his jaw. “I’ve been getting my act together.”

“I could leave you alone,” Valerie offered.

“Why the hell would you do that?” Felix demanded, then hearing himself he said, “I mean… when we have to be back at Saint Margaret’s by three.”

Valerie’s expression changed and she said, “Oh, yes. To set up for the potluck. I almost forgot.”

“Good thing I’m here to remind you,” Felix murmured.

“Well,” Ben said, “maybe we can get together. You and me.”

He pointed from himself to Felix.

“Uh…” Felix began. “Okay?”

“I work here,” Ben told him. “I’m the lead singer too.”

“Yes,” Felix said, neutrally.

Ben laughed and said, “I know what you mean. I’ll never do Natalie Merchant again.”

Felix nodded, and this time he laughed.

“If I promise to never do Natalie Merchant again,” Ben asked him, “will you go to lunch with me tomorrow?”

“Yes,” Felix said.