Bird Came Down

When Joey came into his apartment that afternoon, Rule said, “You don’t mind making house calls?”

“It depends on what kind of house call you want?” Joey raised his eyebrow.

Goddamn he was fine, that brown half beard around his jaws, those blue eyes. How could Felix have given that up? And, even though he was a bitch for saying it, wasn’t Felix a little plain, a little, well, not entirely thin to have this good luck?

Rule got on his knees and unzipped Joey’s cargo shorts.

“You know why we’re both here,” he said, affecting an accent.

“Oh, fuck!” Joey gasped, even though he did know why they were both here.

He’d never known anyone to come with such gusto into sex, with no hesitation. Rule’s mouth engulfed his dick. His tongue began working on it. All Joey’s sensation went down there. A cock was the gentlest, most tender thing in the world, held firmly in Rule’s mouth, ministered to so thoroughly while Joey sucked in his breath and gasped. He placed his hands behind him, grasping the old radiator.

“Do you want to fuck?” Rule said at last.

“Sure,” Joey’s voice was weak, his cock hard. He quickly pulled off his shirt then pulled Rule up from the floor. Rule turned himself over on the edge of the couch, and Joey, throbbing, pushed inside his tightness and cried out.

“You didn’t come, did you?” Rule said.

“No,” Joey’s voice was shallow, halfway in. “I just… You’re so fucking tight.”

“That’s very nice of you,” Rule said. “Now just start fucking.”

Joey pressed his hands to Rule’s back, and pushed inside of him, his own eyes going wide the same time Rule’s did. It was so hot and so tight, and he started slow, but Rule said, “Fuck me harder, already.”

He said it almost irritated, and part of Joey remembered why he’d stopped being with guys, but it felt good, so he pressed into him, fucking him harder, not wanting to come.

“Give it to me,” Rule gasped. “Give it to me good. Goddamn. Yeah.”

“Don’t you want me to slow down?”

“No, you country fuck, just do it.”

“You wanna talk dirty?” Joey asked, though being called a country fuck in the middle of sex disoriented him, and he pushed it from his mind while he pumped Rule.

“I just want your dick in my ass,” Rule said honestly and closed his eyes, gripping the seat while Joey fucked him.

“I was just—”

“No,” Rule said, firmly. “Please stop talking.”

Joey stopped.

“What?” Rule demanded.

“Should I even be doing this.”

“Do you want to stop?”

Rule’s ass was clamped on him so tight, he was so hot when he didn’t talk and Joey needed the release.

“No, I don’t. Just.”

“Then keep doing it,” Rule commanded.

Joey closed his eyes and fucked him harder, pushing away everything else except the sensation of Rule’s tight ass, of his own cock becoming more and more swollen, more and more sensitive in the progression to orgasm while he pumped up and down in him. He pushed everything away so well that when Rule said, “You’re such a dumb fuck,” all Joey said was, “Alright.”

But he put his hands down on Rule’s throat and choked him when he came.

“You’re making something crazy out of me,” Ben said, as he took a drag on his cigarette and passed it to Felix.

“You were always something crazy,” Felix told him. “You can’t pin that on me.”

“Well, then you’re making me into something crazier,” Ben said.

They were on their backs together in Ben’s apartment watching the haze of smoke hit by the light, and Ben said, “You could stay the night.”

“You’ve never stayed the night in my apartment.”

“Do you want me to?” Ben turned on his side and looked at Felix, his head propped on his elbow.

“I was just saying,” Felix said.

“Well,” Ben told him, “the invitation stands.”

Felix looked up and down Ben’s body. At his stomach began the reddish brown hair that went over his belly to his sex and grew gold red up his thighs. While they were making love in his bed, Felix’s phone had rung and he pretended not to care.

“Think about it while I go to the restroom,” Ben said.

He hopped up and the little man closed the bathroom door behind him. No pissing with the door open like Joey or Scott.

Felix rolled over and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“You have three messages.”

“Felix, this is your sister. Nathaniel says you left him a message inviting him to dinner. Is this true? I’m gonna—”

“Delete,” Felix murmured.

“Felix, it’s Scott. I’m back in town. If you get this give me a buzz.”

“I’ll do that.” Felix murmured.

As the toilet flushed the next message began.

“Hey, Felix. It’s Scott again. I need to see your face. I haven’t heard back from you. I guess you’re busy.”

The door opened and Ben came out, taking a hand through his thick gold hair.

Felix lifted his finger. “Checking my messages.”

“Hey, Felix,” Scott said into the phone. “I… I know this is crazy, but I’m in the courtyard at the Maron. You don’t know how much I’ve missed you. Or how crazy I am just to see you. So… I guess I’ll be here a while. I just got here. It’s like… five.”

Felix looked at the time on the phone. 5:20.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked him.

“I think I have to go,” Felix said, getting up. “And I can’t even pretend I know I’ll be back tonight. Is that alright?”

“Yeah,” Ben nodded. “Do you need me to come with you.”

“No,” Felix said, thoughtfully. “That’s probably not a good idea. But if I’m done quickly, do you want to get dinner?”

“Yeah,” Ben nodded. “Absolutely.”

Felix was half way out the door of the Pub and into the humid heat when he called Scott and got no answer. Quickly he walked the four blocks up Main to the Maron, calling to more times, and when he entered the courtyard, he saw some old women and a few children playing, but no Scott. He went to the benches under the east door, but no Scott, and then he walked down the shallow stair and over the court of grass onto the verandah, but no Scott. He sat at the glass table on the verandah and looked out onto Maron Street as if maybe Scott would appear there, but no Scott. So, in the end, he called again waiting for the phone to go to voice mail.

“Hey, this is Scott. Leave me a line.”

“Scott, I got your message, and I showed up,” he said. “But you were gone. If I’m in the right place. I’m in the courtyard. On the verandah. It’s Felix, by the way. Later. Bye.”

He waited a little while in the muggy heat of the July day. He could have stayed in bed with Ben, listening to him play the guitar, not caring about the stale sweat on their bodies or the smell of sex. But he had gotten dressed in this weather and come all the way here for the hope of Scott. He waited a few more minutes, and then rose up, deciding on a very slow walk, a walk that would give Scott Flowers the time to appear. But he didn’t, and then Felix, crossing the street and heading up Main back to the Pub, decided climbing into the shower with Ben and then going down to dinner wasn’t a bad consolation prize at all.

“So we can do that later if you want,” Rule said, pulling his clothes back on. Joey’s hand was already on the door knob.

“Sure.”

“I mean, you know,” Rule continued, “if the mood takes you.”

“Sure,” Joey said.

He left without saying goodbye, and headed down the dark hall, remembering a story Felix had told him one afternoon.

“This guy was having sex with me, and right in the middle of it I could tell he didn’t want to be with me. I could tell it by the way he was looking. He looked like he just wanted to be done with it and move on with his business, and as soon as he busted his nut he’d be on his way. He had walked into the house already wanting it to be over.”

“What did you do?”

“Well, I told him to get the fuck up and go away. Right then.”

“You didn’t!”

“I always do. You can’t disrespect yourself. If you find out someone is disrespecting you, the moment you do it’s time to get rid of him, or you’ll feel like dirt cause he feels like dirt and he wants to pass that shit on. I’ve told a lot of men to get the fuck out.”

Joey, going down the stairs, stopped at the landing window. He had been made to feel like dirt several times and he had never stopped the course of events. He realized now why he had always said he was bi. All of his orgasms with men had always been accompanied by shame and humiliation. Rule was not new. The phrase “dumb fuck” echoing in your ear while you came was just the price you paid. But it had never been that way with Felix, and now that was over. He felt instantly so low he could have died. It wasn’t an exaggeration. He really could have died.

But then he looked out of the window and saw, sitting in the courtyard, his brother. Yeah, that was Scott. And then Scott got up and left. and while Scott went in one direction, Joey saw Felix coming in the other, looking around. Had they missed each other? Should he say something? But he was more depressed than ever, and angry. Not at them, at himself for letting Rule do this to him. He didn’t feel good. He was disoriented and sweaty, and he was dripping semen into his underwear. He needed more than anything to be clean, and he didn’t know that there was enough water or a big enough shower for him.