Gay Voyeur Blog

There are totally not 512 naked guys here. But that's the only hint I'm giving you. When figuring out a puzzle, it's important to take an inventory of all the tools at one's disposal. You can zoom in and out. Turn your screen upside down. Turn yourself sideways. Or ask the guys in the pictures to count themselves.

That last one only helps if you tend to experience auditory hallucinations. And I'm not going to judge that because talking to naked guys in photos would be a fine way to spend an evening. Way better than watching The Voice. There are no naked guys on The Voice, much to waste of musical space Adam Levine's displeasure, since he's so personally into nudity.

You'll need to focus on counting. One penis, two penis, red penis, blue penis. Shameless showoff #1, even more shameless showoff #2, and so on. I'm rooting for you to be right. You can do it.

Meteor showers are neat to watch. So are sun showers and their occasional rainbows. An I suppose some people have fun at bridal showers though why the hell would they. But if I had to pick, I'll go with a guy shower.

Maybe part of it is that the guy is freshly scrubbed after and ready to be sullied anew. Plus watching a guy towel off after has its own charms. But it's the showering itself that invites a certain intimacy. You wonder if the guy showers differently in the gang showers at the gym than he does alone at home.

Maybe at the gym he takes a bit longer if there happens to be a guy who catches his eye. While at home he takes a bit longer if he catches his own eye and does what comes naturally.

I used to go to a gym with a row of shower nozzles on one side, with no dividers. And on the other, there were individual stalls, each with a flimsy curtain that never closed all the way. Nobody ever complained they didn't fully obscure views as that was the point.

When you spend a lot of time working out your body and cock, you want to show it off. A naked bike ride is a popular way to combine showing off and working out. Though people should keep to their own bikes with such things. Spin classes are obnoxious enough.

While it's possible some of these photos are retouched, with body proportions changed (muscles and cock), more commonly public exposure photos are the body as is. Selfies at home are more likely to undergo tweaking. But as someone who has never had an interest in hearing weak-voiced pop stars in their real voices, I have no issue with electronically modified beauty, whether vocal or physical.

It's important to find humor where you can. At the moment, for me that's the fact that a third of the naked guys in front of the green "Headfirst Travel New Zealand" truck are attempting to cling to their dignity by covering their cocks with their non-masturbating, cupped hands.

Possibly they started off just going with the flow, thinking they'd be fully into this promotional gig. Until the weather got chilly and a reporter started asking questions. So much for male bravado.

I also wonder what would happen next if someone stopped to attempt to pick up the naked hitchhiker. Not that getting in a stranger's vehicle is wise, admirable behavior, but hitching without hitching is pure artifice. Though I'm pro-artifice when it comes to him. And if anyone else is and would stop for him on the road, make him feel welcome (and your car seat less soiled) by having a fresh towel at the ready. His ass will thank you.

With rare exception over the course of many years, I have never seen anything like this degree of naked men in public. I haven't seen a man squatting on the sidewalk showing everything except what's covered by sneakers and socks. I have never seen a naked man riding an escalator. And I've never seen a man whose cock weighs more than the rest of his body naked on a balcony.

So none of those things have ever happened. Which makes me like a member of the naked version of the Flat Earth Society. Despite all evidence to the contrary, none of this public nudity ever really happened. Oh, except for the set of photos from a Pride event I was actually at. Because I recognized the naked guy in it. His name starts with a P. As does his body.

The naked guy on the speedboat is the direct cause of a spate of masturbating sharks. Distracting sharks with ass and cock is a proven tool in the fight against surfers losing limbs. It's right up there with not surfing.

I admire his one-man tribute to 1950s aqua ballet, when there were big water-ski pyramids of smiling fools. Of course they weren't naked, but nobody said the 1950s were perfect. What would make this image perfect is if it were a gif. I'd like to see his everything flop violently in the wind. I wonder if he could ejaculate from that.

The guy casually and completely exposed at the gym bathroom mirror may be getting paid by the gym as a sort of human advertisement. I'm not sure homosexuals are super more focused on gyms than non-homosexuals, but same-sex locker rooms and the sights they randomly contain can be quite the motivator for repeat attendance, especially if a highly desirable showoff has a regular schedule one can sync to.

You want to say clothes. I know you want to say clothes. Or maybe strict public nudity laws. Or cold weather. No and no and no.

Rather an exhibitionist's worst enemy is the elimination of taboos about nudity/public sexual behavior. Now societal taboos have a purpose. Even if seemingly tied to some repulsive Puritanism you're against, a taboo against public nudity may make your commute on public transportation more predictable and, well, sanitary.

But once the shock is taken away, there is no shock to pursue. Then what would exhibitionism be? Maybe a competition on who can wear the most clothes at once and remain very still doing nothing remotely sexual. Hot!

I'm not a huge sports fan but if it's a team of naked guys, I'll be there cheering, however one cheers with a cock in one's mouth. Possibly by holding up one's fingers in a "We're #1!" gesture. Though that's also a challenge if holding a cock in each hand.

This is when I remind myself that a guy being naked in public isn't an invitation to be touched, nor is a guy being naked in your bedroom or in a bathhouse. Consent is always necessary. 

Like the guy jacking off standing nude on the trail has consent with himself to do exactly what he's doing, including posing for the camera. Maybe he's on his own private property at his giant rural compound so nobody can stumble along and see him. Or maybe he's in a public park and is about to be caught by a Park Ranger. Either way is sort of a win.

When a guy is going to be naked in public, there aren't a lot of ways to make a fashion statement. So it comes down to accessories. And within those options, a belt is generally out as people don't tend to wear belts when not wearing pants.

Though at the moment, I'm wearing a belt and no pants, which, if I were to leave my apartment right now, would make me a trendsetter. Or a pariah. One of those two things.

So these guys are making the most of their limited sartorial options. When flashing truckers, dressing (or undressing) the part means a dirty cap and wool socks. Vogue magazine tyrant Anna Wintour, who has the subtlety of an 18-wheeler,  would honk her approval.

Poor them, saddled with loving participating in a sport that just happens to involve cheering crowds staring as they roll around on a mat in the tightest singlets and jockstraps. Or sometimes, as evidenced by prominent, angular bulges, no jockstraps or underwear at all.

Now wrestling is a genuine sport and sometimes people who may get friction or adrenaline based erections are feeling zero sexual arousal. This is especially true considering their fight mode is activated and that's pretty darn opposite from a relaxed sexual arousal mode. Though for some folks, they can occur at the same time (I'm talking to you wrestling fetishists).

It's an easy win for me though, as I have no problem if the guy is all riled up and strong and aggressive and I can be the weak one underneath getting tossed around and held down and clutched tight. Because I know it takes the most strength of all to be weak around someone.

There's whipping it out. Then there's whipping it out and getting it hard. Then the Stage 3 Whip Out (S3WO) involves getting sucked.

No, S4WO is not fucking. Rather it's whipping it out at the all-you-can-eat buffet of a two-star restaurant. Hey, I know that's unexpectedly complicated but I didn't invent the rules.

Or actually there are no rules except those that are self-imposed. Sure, there may be consequences, but that's not the same thing. So an example of a self-imposed rule is "When I'm wearing a blue sweatshirt and shorts and exposing myself in the grocery store, I will make certain to do so by a blue box of Frosted Flakes."

You're minding your own business at a service station at night and you spot a naked guy lovingly washing his truck. Or at least lustfully as the erection reveals. And I'm used to car-wash erections only being related to the customers at Speedo-clad college men's soccer teams charity car washes. But I guess he has his reasons.

As does the guy fucking his friend on the hood of the car. At least I hope they're friends and can call each other when in need, like if one is sick and needs stuff from the grocery store. Or if one's hole is greedy for penetration by stuff from the grocery store.

You don't have to think too hard about what you're going to wear when you're just going to be naked anyhow. Though footwear choice and where to keep your wallet and keys are critical decisions. But for partial nudity, like a dual dick pull out at a street party, little planning is required. Except on the part of the folks who are ready to go with their cameras.

I'm not sure how fun it was for the runner to stumble across an expected naked and erect guy on the street, though. As a potential positive, he may have been motivated to run a bit faster away from the scene than he would have otherwise. So he can thank the naked guy for helping him burn two additional calories.

That's not quite the intent of the guy seeking to shock with his public display, but nowadays, you take what you can get as far as impact on others.

The convenient thing with a fetish is that at least sometimes it's purely about witnessing the object or action in question. So if you're into tight abs, that doesn't mean you have to have a set of your own. Though if a fetish can inspire you to work out, go for it.

I also get that being into abs doesn't mean the first-thought view of tight abs here, as it can also be about the tactile experience, which could include more body hair or fat on top. And for body building extremists, possibly some of the guys here have too much of a fat layer. They all look good to me, though.

Just don't ask me to have a conversation with them all. The potential for that to go well is minimal. Though I'm sure I could spend at least 10 minutes talking to the guy at the middle right about his black C-IN2 underwear, which since they are not mesh or sheer, I cannot see into.

Plus ass. Super fine ass. And cum. Not just any cum. Prime vintage parking lot cum. Nothing better. Plus since Target is known for credit card security breaches, you're sure to keep your digits safe if you only go to Target to ejaculate in the parking lot.

Though you are risking your dignity, because nobody wants to be caught ejaculating by the person who collects the carts from the lot and brings them back to the front of the store. They are so over it all they wouldn't give a damn, even if seeing a large, spurting cock out of nowhere. Plus they have a cart return quota and can't afford to slip on semen.

Meanwhile, this truck trucker is working and peeping at the same time. There's no way to know his voyeurism target. He could be on the lookout for, what's the word, meat balloons. Oooh, that's not a respectful phrase. Let's say giant melons. I like melons.