Public Exposure: Cock and Ass on the Go

It's important to find humor where you can. At the moment, for me that's the fact that a third of the naked guys in front of the green "Headfirst Travel New Zealand" truck are attempting to cling to their dignity by covering their cocks with their non-masturbating, cupped hands.

Possibly they started off just going with the flow, thinking they'd be fully into this promotional gig. Until the weather got chilly and a reporter started asking questions. So much for male bravado.

I also wonder what would happen next if someone stopped to attempt to pick up the naked hitchhiker. Not that getting in a stranger's vehicle is wise, admirable behavior, but hitching without hitching is pure artifice. Though I'm pro-artifice when it comes to him. And if anyone else is and would stop for him on the road, make him feel welcome (and your car seat less soiled) by having a fresh towel at the ready. His ass will thank you.

Meanwhile, I'm thanking the ass of the guy pumping gas. Sure, he's using fossil fuels at this calamitous environmental time, but at least he's improving the job morale of the gas station attendant watching him on camera. And he's for sure not smoking at the pump.

The guys totally cock exposed on the train are on their way to work as cell phone salespeople at mall kiosks. If you run across them, just remember not to get duped into a bad cell phone contract while distracted by their pantslessness. The mental fuzziness that can result from witnessing pantslessness is a global health crisis.

But you are welcome to pretend to be interested in what they're selling just to get them to pay attention to you. I think that's the basis of most shopping.

Now I need to go catch the bus by standing naked in front of it. Where I am, people would tend not to find that hilarious though. Especially the bus driver as I'd have no bus pass on me.

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