Don’t Read Into It
[Memory, Early December, Sophomore Year]
Who knew lasagna could be such a bitch to wash off a tray? Lyn scrubbed furiously at it, determined to finish the whole stack before his shift ended at ten.
“Wow,” a voice called from behind him, “did that tray kill your family or something?” It was the student he shared the shift with, a guy who seemed to be sleepy most of the time. Despite his lazy way of moving, he always managed to finish his work before Lyn. How that happened was a mystery. The guy wasn’t dropping his tasks on Lyn, yet he was comparatively more productive when it came to his cafeteria duty.
“Nope,” Lyn replied brightly, determined to look alive. He held the tray and examined it for any traces of stains. “Is this good enough?” He hoped the answer was ‘yes’. Between his efforts to maintain his perfect GPA, helping Brad out with his papers, and doing this, he was starting to wear himself thin at the seams.
“I’ll help you finish.”
“No,” Lyn said abruptly. “It’s my job.”
“Okay, dude, you don’t have to bite my head off. I was just trying to help.”
“Sorry, man,” Lyn said hurriedly, as another unpleasant twinge gripped his chest. “I just don’t want to be that guy who gets others to do the things he should be doing.”
“It’s cool. Just make sure to get some rest once in a while. You really look like shit.”
Yeah, that was true. But he needed to mend what he’d broken, and as they said, there was no rest for the wicked. He checked his phone for the latest notification from his budget app.
Twenty dollars to goal.
A little more of this and he’d be good to go. No more odd shifts at the cafeteria, correcting essays and tutoring once he was done. It hurt both his body and mind, but he deserved it all.
The hardest part of it hadn’t been the actual work, but keeping it a secret from his close friends. Ever since his outburst in front of Alexander when the guy had just been trying to be nice to him, their friendship had been strained. Lyn had made a total of eleven attempts to apologize, but Alexander always brushed them away, like he couldn’t be bothered to hear Lyn’s empty words.
For a guy studying to become a lawyer, he surely failed when he needed to use speech to remedy a situation he himself had created. Of course, words were a waste. Facts mattered. So he would do something to mend what he had damaged.
***
Lyn stared at the package carefully wrapped in kraft paper and struggled to straighten the navy-blue ribbon for the umpteenth time. It still looked a little crooked to him, but he couldn’t postpone this moment anymore. The moment he handed Alexander this, it would be out of his hands. Forgiveness, smarter people than him had said, was something people gave, not took.
Unlike Brad, who had one of the nicer dorm rooms, Alexander had preferred the Spartan way, compared to how he lived at home. Lyn could only hope that Alexander’s roommate, another premed sophomore, wasn’t there. Or maybe it was better if someone else was there because that would serve as the perfect circumstance for him to just drop his gift and leave in a hurry.
He waited for a moment before he mustered the courage to knock. The somber notes of an adagio reached him from inside. Someone was in a mood. It was easy to dismiss Alexander as being unfeeling, but Lyn liked to believe that he knew a thing or two about his friend. Their distancing of late was affecting both of them. Brad, as always, was oblivious. He hadn’t mentioned that terrible evening even once. He hadn’t apologized, either, but Lyn didn’t think he could endure hearing Brad talk about that kiss. It was as if the incident had never happened, and it was better this way.
The door opened abruptly in front of him, revealing Alexander dressed in black jeans and a turtleneck of the same color. Someone was really sending out suffering vibes, and Lyn wished he could joke about it.
“Hi,” he said, holding the wrapped package close to his chest. “I’m not here to bother you. I just want to give you this.”
Alexander looked at him, then at the package. He moved out of the door. “Come in.”
Lyn could insist that he was in a hurry. Unlike Brad, he and Alexander both took studying seriously, especially with their finals already here.
He clutched his gift hard, threatening to rip the paper. What if Alexander thought he was an idiot for giving him something he most likely already had? What if he turned away as usual, refusing Lyn’s heartfelt apology?
Great. Now his palms were getting sweaty.
“This is for you,” he said and pushed the package into Alexander’s chest. His friend was standing so close it was uncomfortable.
Alexander took it, his eyes never leaving Lyn’s face. The smartest thing would be to look away, but he was failing hard at being smart when pitted against this demon. There was nothing he could do to outwit his much-more intelligent friend.
“Don’t read into it,” he made a lame attempt at a joke. “Unless you’re into the human body and all that.” He even snickered to make himself look and sound even more cringe than he was supposed to.
“Thank you, Lynton,” Alexander said primly, carefully untying the ribbon and peeling the paper off.
He stopped, however, when he uncovered the beautiful vintage edition of Gray’s Anatomy. His elegant fingers moved over the leather binding and his eyes moved questioningly to Lyn’s face. “This must have cost--”
“It’s not like it’s a first edition or anything,” Lyn said abruptly. His palms hadn’t stopped sweating, but he didn’t want to start wiping them on his pants because that would make him look like an idiot. “But it’s in pretty good condition. And that time, you didn’t buy it for yourself and got that book for me instead.”
Alexander smiled, and it was one of his good smiles, so Lyn felt a heavy weight being lifted off his chest. He gave back what must have looked like a pretty lame grin.
“Does Brad know about this?” Alexander asked.
Lyn frowned. “No, why would he?”
“Good.” Alexander nodded in approval. “Let’s keep it that way. I’m certain he’ll be devastated if he learns that you were thoughtful on another person’s behalf.”
“I don’t think he’d care,” Lyn replied with a soft snort. “But yeah, I won’t tell him about it.”
Alexander seemed beyond pleased with his gift, slowly turning the pages now. Lyn couldn’t get enough of watching him. Despite the guy’s obvious quirks, he was deeply fond of him and didn’t want to give up on this friendship.
His note fell to the floor, reminding him that he should have left already. Pushing his hands deep in the pockets of his coat, he quickly planned his exit. “Anyway, it’s late. I’ll be on my way.”
He made a beeline for the door, but Alexander’s hand smacked against it right above his head, preventing him from opening it. “Not so fast. Let’s see what you wrote here.”
“Oh gawd,” Lyn complained. “Fine. I suppose I deserve it.”
Alexander took obvious delight in torturing him. He read out loud. “I’m sure you have at least three editions of this at home, but I worked really hard for it. Like to the bone hard. I know that the thought of me suffering will put a big smile on your insufferable face, but I can live with that. I was an ass, and you didn’t deserve it. I’m really sorry. Yours truly, Lyn.”
Lyn bit his bottom lip hard while waiting for the verdict.
“Mine truly,” Alexander whispered against his hair, blowing warm air over it. “Really?”
“Yeah, that’s how people end letters,” Lyn explained, confused as always by Alexander’s strange reaction. “Can you forgive me? Please?”
Alexander’s arms wrapped around him. His entire body was warm and solid. A random thought crossed Lyn’s mind. Regardless of how harsh Alexander could be in his honesty, he was a safe harbor. Lyn couldn’t explain it, but he knew it was true.
“I’ll only hold you for five more seconds,” Alexander said. “And don’t worry. I won’t kiss you because I don’t want you puking on me.”
Lyn gasped in disbelief. “For real? Is there anything he doesn’t tell you?”
“He tells me everything,” Alexander said, without hiding his arrogance.
“Wait, don’t tell me—why were you pissed at me? Because of what I said to you, or because Brad just got to do something… something you didn’t? To me? With me?” He was babbling, but his mind was racing, despite his heart being as light as a feather now.
“You’re smart, Lynton. Figure it out.”
Alexander let go of him, as promised. Lyn looked at his friend’s face, blinking a few times. Carefully, he opened the door and peeked outside. Then, he grabbed Alexander hard by the front of his turtleneck and placed a quick, dry kiss on his lips. In one step, he was out the door and running down the hallway.
“Hey,” Alexander called out from behind him. “That doesn’t count. I barely felt a thing. Come back here and do it properly!”
“Stop teasing me, you demon!” Lyn shouted back as he turned the corner and began running down the stairs.
Lyn thought he had felt enough. The sensation of Alexander’s lips opening ever so slightly, so soft and inviting, so alluring. Lyn was willing to bet they were sweet, too.
Everything was easy with Alexander. Because Lyn wasn’t crushing on him, things like this were doable. Even pleasant. And he was so light, his running felt like flying.
TBC
Thank you for reading!
@Derek - I'm glad that you have no doubts about Alexander wanting Lyn... now Lyn might remain the only one to be convinced!
@DavidB - yeah, that's so true... Alexander is the one who sees Lyn, as in truly sees him.
@Buchanan - and the next chapter is here, only that is a memory chapter! But their attraction and relationship will progress, I promise!
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