Visceral Reaction
[Memory, October, Sophomore Year]
“And that’s my man Lyn,” Brad shouted loudly, pointing at him from across the room.
It was the first party of the new college year, and Brad had to show off as usual. Lyn wanted to tell himself he had gotten used to his best friend’s habitual shenanigans, but there was no chance of that. Brad liked crowded places where a lot of people could admire him, laugh at his jokes – not always good – and overall become his fans. With so many other guys and gals fawning over him, it was a miracle Brad still wanted Lyn to be his best friend.
Lyn fought his way through the crowd while Brad gestured at him impatiently. He took him by the shoulders with one arm while gesturing wildly with the other.
“I’m telling you, guys, Lyn has like a secret vineyard or some shit.”
Lyn bit his bottom lip hard to avoid cursing under his breath. Yes, he was lying about his financial situation, but when had he ever given Brad the impression that he was rolling in money?
“Vineyard?” One girl in glasses angled her head to take a closer look at Lyn. “I had no idea you were that rich,” she said. “And maybe just a bit mysterious.” She added a small smile to that, looking away only to return her eyes to Lyn again.
The possibility of having a secret vineyard obviously made the girl in question quite interested in Lyn. There were ways to let her down gently if it came down to that.
“Brad’s imagination knows no bounds,” he said in a strained voice. “I’m hardly a modern-day Crassus.”
Brad guffawed. “Lyn and his references to dead Greek dudes.”
Lyn opened his mouth to correct Brad about the dead guy’s citizenship but thought better of it. Making his best friend look bad in front of others wasn’t on his list of priorities.
“Crassus was Roman, not Greek.”
The crowd parted like a mythical sea before Alexander. Lyn threw his other friend a pointed look, hoping it would be enough to convince the posh asshole to drop it.
Brad didn’t seem to be bothered in the least by the correction, but only because he never seemed bothered when Alexander acted all high and mighty.
“Roman, Greek, whatever, they’re all dead,” Brad said. “Lyn, so good you’re here, man. I need you and only you for like five minutes.”
Lyn didn’t look over his shoulder to see if Alexander was following them. Usually, the guy could take a hint, but not always.
“Do you know that Ella chick?” Brad whispered quickly. “She’s all up for it but told me she wanted you for her friend Marla.”
Lyn pursed his lips. He needed to find an excuse and quick. This time, he looked over his shoulder, but Alexander was no longer anywhere in sight. Just when Lyn needed him, he had to disappear. Damn him and his frustrating habits of being consistent in his ability to cause annoyances left and right.
“I have a lot to study,” Lyn said.
“Come on,” Brad pressed on, not in the least impressed by Lyn’s thin excuse. “You always do that. What, are you like into dudes or something?”
“No, what the hell, man?” Lyn reacted, pushing Brad away. His heart grew small in his chest whenever the slightest mention of his secret sexual preferences was made. This time was no exception.
“Okay, okay, no need to get pissy about it. You just never get along with chicks. And that means that we can never go on double dates.” Brad pulled him close again.
“Fine. Is this a double date?” Lyn asked.
“It can be,” Brad said, full of hope.
“Then let’s just go. But if Marla and I don’t click, that’s it, okay?”
“Okay,” Brad drawled.
“Are you drunk?” Lyn sniffed Brad, but there seemed to be no alcohol on his breath.
Brad turned his head abruptly, almost brushing Lyn’s mouth with his by accident. He burst into laughter. “Dude, you should see your face! And no, I’m not drunk. Just on life, because man, Ella is so damn sexy.” He moved his hips suggestively, causing Lyn to lose his balance for a moment. Brad grabbed him again, forcing him to walk like that, joined at the hip.
***
The so-called double date was taking place in one of the rooms upstairs, which made it more difficult for Lyn to keep things in check. A public place presented multiple possibilities to get away, but now he felt trapped.
Ella and Marla were surprisingly similar, all straight blond hair, light eyes, and dazzling smiles. If Lyn hadn’t known otherwise, he would’ve thought them to be sisters. How Ella was more attractive to Brad than Marla was beyond him.
The girls sat on a bed, giggling and pressing their shoulders together, while eyeing the boys in their room with a mix of embarrassment and excitement.
Brad’s relaxed stance wasn’t reflected in Lyn’s tense position. He leaned against the wall, his legs spread, the very embodiment of confidence. Lyn, on the other hand, sat hunched forward, his hands linked between his knees, as he listened to the conversation.
Marla giggled and whispered something in Ella’s ear. Ella looked at Brad and Lyn, her lips curled into a smile.
“I have a question for you, guys,” Ella said, once Marla finished whatever she had to say.
“Shoot,” Brad said, dragging the word like a caress over heated skin.
“How come guys always find two girls kissing sexy but are so repulsed by two men doing the same thing?” Ella stared straight at Brad as she said that. “Isn’t that like a double standard? Gay play is okay only when there are two women involved?”
Lyn came to the rescue since Brad seemed to be at a loss for words. “Well, statistically speaking, male homosexual behavior triggers more visceral reactions in heterosexual men than female same-sex behavior does. It all has to do with evolutionary psychology and gender role norms.” He gestured while he continued his speech. “If you read enough social cognition studies on the topic, you’ll get what I mean. It’s less about actual attraction and more about a perceived threat to masculinity from a traditional point of view.”
The girls stared at him nonplussed for uncomfortably long seconds. Ella broke the silence, laughing out loud. “Brad, your friend is such a geek! No offense, Lyn.”
“None taken,” Lyn said dryly.
“It’s still another way to dodge the question,” Marla pointed out. Her eyes cut a thin slice through Lyn’s exterior calm.
“And what question is that?” Lyn asked, dreading the answer.
Marla smirked. “It’s the twenty-first century. Do you guys still see two guys kissing as a threat to your ‘masculinity’?” She even made the air quotes with her fingers.
Lyn was about to answer, when Brad intervened. His hand felt heavy on Lyn’s back. “Nope, none of that crap. We’re like progressive and stuff.”
“Progressive?” Marla’s smile seemed malicious now. She was probably the sort to set insects on fire by holding them under a magnifying glass focusing the rays of the merciless sun. Lyn had been wrong. Marla and Ella weren’t the same. For Ella, this conversation was a joke, something funny to make them laugh, while Marla wanted to prove a point.
“Yeah. I could totally kiss my buddy here without getting grossed out or whatever,” Brad said.
“Really?” Marla drawled. “You’re so bluffing.”
Ella didn’t say a word, but she clearly found her friend to be a total riot for provoking the guys they had asked over to do such a thing.
“Nah, not bluffing at all,” Brad continued.
Lyn wished he’d stop. His mind was now like a trapped animal, blindly searching for an exit.
“Then do it,” Marla said, her lips curled in a thin mean grin.
“Not so fast,” Brad said. “What do we get in return for getting all vulnerable in front of you like this?”
“We’ll show you our boobs,” Ella said loudly and laughed again.
“Done,” Brad said. “Lyn, babe, come here,” he added in a fake sugary voice.
Lyn pulled away. “Brad, what the hell?”
“Ah, so Lyn, you can talk the talk, but you can’t walk the walk,” Marla challenged him. “But isn’t this a surprise, Ella? I was willing to bet a twenty that Brad was more likely than Lyn to act like this.”
What talk? He had only explained—
Brad caught his cheek and turned Lyn’s face to him. “It’s only a kiss, dude,” he whispered urgently. “Come on.”
Lyn stole a look at the girls, who had both leaned forward to observe them as if they were a pair of exotic animals at the zoo. Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place. He barely had the time to nod because Brad’s mouth was all over his, wet and unpleasant.
How much longer did he have to endure this? His stomach was clenching so hard he felt sick.
“For real,” the girls shouted and laughed. “Guys would do just about anything to see some boobs, lol.”
How could Brad fail to understand that they had been turned into a cheap show? He pushed Brad away hard and jumped to his feet. His skin was so hot and tight it hurt, and his knees were trembling. He dashed out of the room, pursued by the girls’ harsh laughter.
***
Lyn cupped his hand under the jet of cold water and then ran it over the back of his neck, still trembling. He had emptied the contents of his stomach, and heaving any more didn’t help. There was nothing left in him to throw up.
He wanted to cry, but he needed to keep himself under control. With the party still raging outside, this bathroom was no better than a public restroom, which meant that anyone could walk in on him at any time.
Brad had kissed him, and it had made him sick. He was wound up so tightly, the slightest pinch or poke would break him. And now, instead of recalling the taste of Brad’s lips on his, he couldn’t get rid of the bitterness on his tongue.
It had been only a dare, a joke. But he had lost control like an idiot.
He straightened up as he heard the door to the bathroom opening. Quickly, he grabbed a couple of paper towels and began drying his hands.
“What happened?”
Lyn met Alexander’s eyes in the mirror. “Nothing. What do you mean?”
“You look like you need medical care,” Alexander replied in the same wry voice he would most likely use once he became a doctor.
“I don’t. Not everyone who has the bad luck of wandering into your path needs a diagnosis,” Lyn threw at his friend.
“You’re pale. You’re shaking. And judging by the faint smell that the tank tablets haven’t yet managed to obscure completely, you just vomited.”
“Nothing gets by you,” Lyn said dryly. “Yes, I just puked my guts out. Satisfied now? Or do you want to give me a full body checkup just to be sure I won’t drop dead in the next second or so? Don’t worry. Despite your general criminal vibe, you won’t have to hide the body. Your family and your money will make it all go away if anyone suspects you unfairly.”
A muscle twitched in Alexander’s cheek. For a moment, Lyn thought the guy would slap the bejesus out of him for talking shit. But nothing happened. Alexander turned on his heel and left the bathroom.
Lyn looked down, feeling shame adding itself to tonight’s misery. “Shit.”
Alexander had walked in here only to check in on him. And Lyn had slapped the helping hand away, because he was that sort of stupid.
TBC
Author's note: Thank you for reading! Starting this week, this story will get two weekly updates, so you'll have more to read from me :) (Actually, not exactly, since Liar vs. Liar ends)
@Derek - I know that confusion might visit the readers more often than not while reading this story... Lyn may be blind, but he'll be forced to see, eventually!
@Buchanan - Thank you, and with two weekly updates, I hope that the story will keep you even more interested :)
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