Just a dumb fuck

Summoned to the Orderly Office...

I think I’ve managed to piss Kyle off. I didn’t intend to. Everything was fine this morning until I opened my mouth and the question popped out.

I was up early and off to the washroom thinking about this afternoon’s sports. I love Wednesdays. The only other person in the washroom when I got there was Kyle and he was already in the showers. He always seems to be the first up and about. I was stood brushing my teeth at a sink when he stepped out and started to get dry. He saw me and smiled as he caught me looking closely in the mirror at my chin and top lip. Still nothing there that needs shaving. I smiled back and then the question popped out. The one that has been bugging me for ages now. I don’t know why I thought it was okay to ask him. Or even why I was even thinking about it in the first place.

“Kyle, when you and Lee fuck, doesn’t it hurt?”

Kyle looked over at me, the smile gone from his face. I knew right away that I’d said the wrong thing but my tongue was still going, completely disconnected from my brain.

“I mean, taking a cock up the arse, surely that hurts?”

Kyle was silent for a moment and then spoke quietly, so quiet I really had to strain to hear him, but in my head the words ricocheted around louder than cannonballs in a bathtub.

“I’m dating Lee, Boots, not using him. There’s more to relationships than just notching up cheerleaders on your bedpost.”

He hadn’t said anything more, just collected his stuff together and headed back to the dorm. By the time I returned, deliberately slowly, he’d left for breakfast.

* * *

I wasn’t really concentrating on my boxing. I mean, boxing went well, with plenty of fitness training and then two rounds in the ring with Jackson, just that my mind was on other things. Travis was there again to be my second, he’s quite getting into boxing now. Always has advice for me. I just smile and ignore it. Jackson and I pushed each other hard but it was just sparring. He didn’t try to face tap me either. When we’d done he even asked if I was okay.

After boxing I went to the pool to for the water polo training. I followed Nathan’s suggestion and left my jammers back in the dorm ready for the exhibition game on Saturday when parents visit. Speedos were fine today and I didn’t get roughed up too much, people have been quick to learn that I will get them back twice as hard. Riley definitely kept a safe distance; I think he’s twigged that I know it was him who grabbed my balls last week so he was careful not to get within striking range of me. I can wait. It’s odd to watch him and Nathan together as they get changed, just fooling around, taking the mickey out of each other. They look odd, all shaved down, the whole team does. Weird that guys like Shane and Will are anxious to start growing hair and these older guys are shaving all theirs off.

Nathan and Riley really are like a couple of chimps grooming each other on Tuesday nights. We all take the piss out of them, calling them girls, even Kyle joins in and says they are more gay than he is for doing it, but they don’t get wound up by it. They don’t even get hard when they shave each other. If Nathan or Riley were shaving the hair round my cock and balls, which of course they won’t ever get the chance to do, but if they did, I’d get a boner instantly. I was even struggling to keep it down last night when I let Nathan just trim the hair in my pits with his electric clippers, just down to about half an inch long so nobody can grab it. So if Nathan and Riley can get naked with each other, touch each other as they shave, and not even get remotely sexually aroused, why can’t I? I mean, I’m just as straight as they are, so why do I get a boner? I can understand getting a boner with Travis and Shane when we are in the showers and jacking off, well, that’s the whole point isn’t it? You have to be hard to jack off. And doing it together doesn’t make us gay. We were just curious. I’ve not seen cut cocks before, so I wasn’t sure how they did it. And they were curious about my cock.

I guess it is different with Jackson and Jayden, or Kyle and Lee. They are gay, so hardly surprising if they get hard when they see each other. I should have kept my mouth shut this morning though. I still can’t believe I just came out and asked Kyle what I did. I’m not surprised I pissed him off. I wouldn’t have asked him a question like that, about sex with his girlfriend, if he was straight would I? Well, maybe I would. Shane has asked me about what I did with the girls at Oakdale. He was just curious, he didn’t mean any harm by it. So asking Kyle about him and Lee isn’t that bad is it? It’s just like he’s totally normal in every other way except that he prefers guys to girls, so it’s not really any different to if I had asked him about a girlfriend is it? Why does sex make life so bloody complicated?

“Boots, is that a ‘yes’ grunt, or a ‘no’ grunt?”

Bloody hell, Nathan is asking me a question. What did he ask? What does he think I replied?

“Are you just going to sit there all day looking at that sock, or are you going to put it on, Deefer?” Nathan is glaring right at me. Riley and a couple of the other guys nearby are starting to take an interest too. “Have you any idea what I just asked you?”

“No, Nathan, sorry Nathan.” He just called me ‘Deefer’! Only Travis can get away with that!

“What the fuck is wrong with you today, Boots? Had too many blows to the head? You’ve been wandering round on autopilot ever since you got up.”

“Yup, lights are on but there’s nobody home.” Now Riley is joining in.

“Maybe it’s the start of the zombie apocalypse…” added a third guy.

Nathan is still looking at me. “So, you’ll be there?”

“Be where, Nathan?”  What is Nathan talking about? What has he asked me? Did anyone else hear? What should I have replied?

“The Orderly Office, Boots. At 18:30. Kyle will see you there before dinner. Got that?”

“Got that, Corporal.”

Fuck, I’ve done it now.

* * *

I went straight back from the pool to the dorm, skipping tea, and set about making my uniform immaculate. If I’m going to get a roasting for what I said to Kyle I’m going to make sure I’m perfectly turned out. No point in giving them anything else to get in a strop about. I had polished my boots, belt and cap band, and was busy ironing my trousers, shirt and tunic when Nathan came into the dorm with Will and Travis, all just back from a late tea. Tea hours are extended on Wednesdays on account of it being sports afternoon.

“What are you up to now, Boots?” asked Nathan. “I thought you’d already sorted your uniform ready for tomorrow before you went to sports?”

I was tempted to give him a stupid reply, it’s obvious I’m ironing my uniform again ready for my beasting at the Orderly Office, but thought better of it. It doesn’t take much to get Nathan to flip from ‘nice Nathan’ to ‘evil corporal’ and I can do without any more drama today.

“Just making sure it’s perfect, Nat.”

Nat seemed satisfied and started unloading his swimming gear onto his bed, with Travis and Will unpacking their sports gear too. Will offered to take their sports kit, and mine, along with his to the basement laundry room and drop it in a washer. As he began to collect it all up, Nathan took his car keys from his bedside cabinet and passed them to Will. “If you want to go check out the fittings for a new stereo and GPS unit, here you go. But if you need to start it up, check it’s in ‘Park’ first and don’t, under any circumstances, take it off the car lot? Got that?”

“Got that!” beamed Will. Will’s managed to convince Nathan that he needs to replace the standard Ford entertainment system with a better one and of course, Will just happens to know exactly which one Nathan needs. Not that Nathan actually took much convincing. Nathan likes his music and seems to have a good ear for it. Everybody else here listens to music on their phone or a typical shop grade hi-fi system but Nathan has an Astell & Kern player and headphones. Somebody said he can actually play the cello and is good at it but I’ve never seen him with a cello or even heard him mention one.

“I’d best go with him, Nat, check he doesn’t take it off the car lot,” said Travis, clearly equally keen to get the opportunity to be seen in Nathan’s Mustang, “Lemon Steroids”. “I do actually have a Learner Permit…”

Nathan smiled. “Okay Travis, but the same applies, permit or not. The car stays on the lot, doesn’t do donuts and doesn’t get ragged. And no rides to anyone.”

“So, Boots,” asked Nathan once Travis and Will had left, “Just what is bugging you today?”

I looked over at him as I hung my tunic on a hanger on my wardrode door ready to change into and began to collapse the ironing board. That’s the problem with Nathan, he spots everything and doesn’t give up. It’s not going to be any use trying to evade the question, he’ll just circle back round to it until he gets an answer.

“I think I’ve managed to annoy Kyle.”

“That takes some doing.”

That’s bloody typical of Nathan. He’d make a brilliant detective. Or a card player. He never gives anything away. He didn’t ask how or why, just leaves it hanging in the air so I feel compelled to keep on adding information. He knows Kyle has ordered me to the Orderly Office, he actually delivered the message, but he’s just giving me more rope so I can hang myself.

“I didn’t mean to, Nathan, it’s just that I sometimes say stuff without thinking.”

“Well, you can put things right easy enough Boots. You didn’t hesitate to try and make up with Jackson, even when you weren’t the one actually in the wrong, so apologising to Kyle over whatever you said should be easy enough for you. You over-think things sometimes, blow things out of proportion. Just tell him you’re sorry and that’ll be the end of it. Kyle doesn’t bear grudges.”

That’s easy enough for Nathan to say. He’s not the one summoned to the Orderly Office. That seems pretty much like bearing a grudge to me. Which to be honest really isn’t like Kyle, but maybe I have gone too far this time. Which is something I really shouldn’t have done, especially as my Review is this week. 

* * *

At 18:20 I was in the corridor where the Orderly Office is, over in the main building. I seemed to be the only one around. That’s not unusual on a Wednesday as just about everyone is either involved in sports in some way, or is given the afternoon off if they are civilian staff to recognise the fact that quite a few of them are here on Saturdays doing admin work. Still, I did expect a cadet Sergeant to be here, a Corporal at least. If we’re going to do this properly, there should be an NCO here to match me in, order me to stand to attention, remove my cap and so on. The officers shouldn’t have to do that themselves. Typical of the Yanks to be spoiling the ship for a ha’porth o’ tar. No bloody sense of tradition and ceremony. Can’t even issue a formal reprimand properly.

Five minutes later I realised that no NCO looked like turning up and so at dead on 18:25 I stepped forward and knocked on the door. That’s another thing Americans don’t seem to grasp. Military time. If the appointment says 18:30 it actually means be standing ready at 18:25, so all the pre-amble is done by 18:30 and the proper business starts dead on 18:30.  Unless they specify Artillery Time of course, in which case they really do mean 18:30. You never want to get an artillery timing early or late. That’s why in films you always see everyone synchronise their watches with the artillery officer. He’s the Time God in every army.

“Enter.”

I opened the door, marched in, stomped to a halt at the front of the Orderly Room desk and turned to face the Orderly Officer of the Day. It was Jackson, and he was sitting back in his chair, his feet up on the desk. Kyle was there too, though in smarts rather than in uniform, sat in a leather chair in the centre of the room. Bloody hell! Come on guys! Let’s get this done right.

I saluted Jackson smartly, snapped, “Cadet Wright reporting as requested, Sir,” dropped my hand to my side, thumb perfectly in line with the crease in my trousers, and waited. Jackson and Kyle just smiled at each other, then Kyle said, “Told you.”

Jackson nodded to Kyle, then turned to me and said, “Relax, Boots, this isn’t a formal meeting. Who told you to wear uniform?”

What does he mean, who told me to wear uniform? What does he think this is, a tea party? Of course I’m in uniform. I’ve been summoned to the Orderly Office, not the NAAFI. Or whatever the US equivalent is. McDonalds?

“Take your cap off and sit down, Boots.” Jackson pointed to a chair near Kyle’s, still looking at me in a bemused manner.

Still at attention, I raised my hand, grabbed the peak of my cap, paused one second, flicked my cap off, dropped it under my arm and held it in place with my elbow, stepped back through a 45 degree angle, and only then moved to the seat indicated. Just because they aren’t doing this properly doesn’t mean I have to be incorrect too. I may be wearing a US cadet uniform but my shoulder flashes are Royal Marines Cadets. Standards will be maintained.

Kyle was trying hard not to laugh. Even Jackson looked like he might.

“Still unsure, Jackson?” asked Kyle.

“No Kyle, you’re right. Couldn’t have been a better choice. Boots has the presence, and style too. I’m okay with it.”

“Did Nat tell you to come in uniform, Boots?” asked Kyle.

“No, Sir.”

Jackson was actually smiling at me now. “I told you Boots, relax, drop the formality. You’re not here on a Report for Misdemeanour. You didn’t need to be in uniform.”

Then why the hell am I here? There’s obviously something going on I don’t know about. I should have been listening more to Nathan this afternoon. What did he actually tell me when I wasn’t listening to him?  And why isn’t Kyle pissed off with me? He doesn’t seem pissed off. Maybe this isn’t about what I said this morning.

“Boots, you know about Saturday, right?” said Kyle, “that this is the first open weekend of the year for parents now that we are halfway through the first semester? And that to start things off on Saturday morning, there’s a parade and address by the Commandant? “

Yes, I knew that. It’s in the handbook. People have been looking forward to it and talking about it for days. My dad’s coming. I still don’t know what it has to do with me being here though. I’m sure Nathan never said anything about it.

Kyle continued, “And one of the first things the Commandant does at the address is to announce the appointment of the new Senior Cadet for the year, the College Captain, and make a few other promotions if any are appropriate. To assist with that, he needs an aide-de-camp to stand by him, pass him the sword awarded to the Cadet Captain, and new rank badges to anybody promoted.”

Jackson joined in, “The new Cadet Captain has been chosen, a few promotions approved, the only thing now missing is the selection of aide-de-camp for the day. Your name was put forward by quite a few of the cadet officers. You seem to have impressed them with your drill and bearing even though you’ve hardly been here five minutes. The decision is mine, the Commandant will accept my recommendation. I’m not appointing you, Boots, I want a volunteer for the role. It won’t be hard to get one, but you’re nominated as first choice. Will you do it?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Of course I’ll bloody well do it! My dad will be there in the audience watching. I want him to see me. See me doing things properly.

“Good,” said Jackson. “You’ll be excused Private Study both tomorrow and Friday night, if Kyle has no objections, to attend dress rehearsals for the ceremony. It has to be perfect on the day.”

“Another thing,” said Kyle, “is discretion. Ahead of Saturday, only the Commandant and the selected cadets know of the appointment and promotions. You will obviously find out who they are at the rehearsals. You must maintain that secrecy. It’s best if you don’t even tell anyone that you have been asked to be aide-de-camp either. Got that?”

“It’s okay, Kyle,” said Jackson, “I trust him on that. He can keep quiet.”

“Right,” said Kyle, “if we’re done, Boots and I will head off over to dinner. What do you want me to have set aside for you Jackson? Boots can bring it over to you here after we’ve done.”

“No need,” responded Jackson, “the kitchen staff already have my order and will send it over shortly. Best have one of these for a few days, Boots, or people will start to wonder why you’re in uniform after classes.” Jackson opened a desk drawer and took out a red lanyard and a leather wristlet with a silver Duty insignia on it. “Put those on. If anyone asks, just tell them you’ve been assigned extra duties to the Orderly Office.”

Kyle helped me put the lanyard and wristlet on as we left Jackson and started to walk over to dinner. The wristlet and lanyard are worn by Cadets who are on Orderly Duties, usually the Cadet Sergeants who man the main building entrance desk and the accommodation block front desk, or the guys who check cars coming and going down at the front gate. It denotes they are on official duty and answerable to the Orderly Officer, which is their authority to stop and question a more senior cadet officer for example if he is about to leave the college in his car. Occasionally Cadet Privates are made Duty Orderlies too, there will be plenty around acting as guides and gophers this Parents’ Weekend for example, but generally it means they have been dicked for extra duties as a punishment for something. Nathan put Travis on Orderly Duties for two days back at the start of semester for trailing mud into the dorm and then leaving his dirty boots under his bed the first time it rained here. Travis spent two nights after class on gate guard duty checking cars in and out and was still expected to have all his homework done and his kit sorted for class the next day. And yes, I did stand to attention, put my cap on and salute Jackson, Cadet Lieutenant Davis, before I left the Orderly Office. He was the Orderly Officer for the night after all, even if he does put his feet up on the desk.

* * *

At dinner, Will, who is always seated next to me right down at the bottom end of the hall, was curious as to why I was in uniform rather than smarts until he saw the lanyard and wristlet, at which point he smiled and said “I knew Jackson would have a punishment duty in store for you after you broke that table at tea last week.” Everyone else seemed to be thinking the same way too and so nobody asked any more questions.

I walked back from dinner with all the other guys from the dorm, including Kyle. We dropped back a little behind the others and I took the chance to speak to him.

“Kyle, about this morning, I’m sorry about what I asked. I didn’t mean…”

Kyle just smiled and looked at me as he cut me off in mid-sentence. “Don’t sweat it Boots, I know you meant no harm. It’s a fair question, just one that I wasn’t expecting. Let’s just forget it happened and you can get back to being your normal self instead of brooding on it. Nat was concerned about you, even Jackson said you weren’t your usual cocky self at boxing today.”

When we got back to the dorm I sat with Shane again to help him understand some more of his maths as I’d missed the opportunity to help him during the Private Study period ahead of dinner. Once that was done we continued talking and I asked about the weekend, if his parents were coming to see him. I’d assumed they would be, but he said otherwise. I did ask him why not, kind of thinking they might be busy or even out of the country like some other guys here whose parents are diplomats, but he just said he didn’t want to talk about it so I dropped the subject. I don’t like to see Shane looking sad.

Everyone else in the dorm has parents visiting, even Travis, and his parents have to come from South Dakota, which is like the middle of nowhere. They’re flying in on Friday from a place called Mobridge and staying at a hotel in town for the weekend to see him. He’s been granted a pass to go and stay with them, just like I’ve been granted a pass to go and stay with my dad on Saturday night. Travis has said I should go and stay with him one holiday and he’ll take me hunting and fishing on his farm. I might start calling him Elmer Fudd.

When it was time to get showered and changed for bed, I held back a little while so I was alone with Kyle. He tends to go to the shower last of all so he can check the washroom is cleared and tidy. I was about to ask him a question about Shane, but was trying to work up to it, when he pre-empted me.

“Go on Boots, ask whatever it is that’s on your mind. I can smell the rubber bands burning from here…”

“It’s about Shane,” I said, and that seemed to surprise him. Maybe he was expecting me to ask him about guys fucking again.

 “Go on.”

“Well, it’s just that he doesn’t have his parents coming to see him this weekend. Everyone else does, and I don’t like to see him left out. Would it be allowed for him to come with me and stay with my dad on Saturday? My dad won’t mind, honest. You can phone him and he’ll tell you the same.”

Kyle looked pensive for a moment and then replied. “It’s not as easy as that, Boots. The college can’t hand Shane over to just anybody. The school would need permission from his legal guardian first. It’s a generous thought, and I know you mean well, but you do understand what I am saying don’t you?”

I did, and nodded.

“I’ll make enquiries for you Boots, it’s a really nice thought, and I’m sure he’d like to spend the weekend with you and your dad, but don’t mention it to Shane. It wouldn’t be fair to get his hopes up.”