Just a dumb fuck

I slept and dreamt that life was beauty.

It was just after five-thirty as I gently closed Nathan’s bedroom door and crept down the corridor back towards my bedroom. As I turned around to close my bedroom door after me, a slight noise further down the corridor drew my attention. Jackson’s bedroom door had opened and he was standing in the corridor.

“Morning, Jackson, see you down at breakfast,” I said and closed the door. I could have done without that. Where’s he going to think I’ve been? Elizabeth’s room? That’s where Milly assumed I’d be yesterday when she tried to contact me on the internal phone and found I wasn’t in my room. Well, if Jackson thinks that, Elizabeth will soon put him back in his box. If I was back home it would just be assumed I’d been to the bathroom but that won’t wash here, all the bedrooms have an en-suite bathroom. I smiled to myself. If Jackson says anything I’ll just have to fess up to staking out the gold vault ready for the heist.

At ten to six I had showered and dressed in fresh clothes ready to head down to the kitchen. As I passed Jackson’s bedroom the door opened again and he stepped out into the corridor.

“Morning, Boots.”

I smiled and nodded, and spotted immediately that he hadn’t shaved. There was a very definite stubble on his chin. Of course, he hadn’t been expecting to stay overnight and so wouldn’t have brought a wash kit with him.

“Defaulter’s parade for you, Jackson,” I chuckled, “No shave, and I’ll bet you haven’t brushed your teeth either. Definitely going to draw some comments when we get back to college and sign in at the gatehouse.”

Jackson glared at me, but looked embarrassed too. It’s just not the done thing for the Captain of Cadets to turn up anywhere looking like a scruff.

“No problem, I can help. I think I’ve still got the freebie washkit in my travel bag that the airline provided on my flight over here. It’s just a disposable razor and one of those tiny toothbrushes with a mini tube of toothpaste but you can have it. Come back with me right now.”

We headed back to my bedroom and after a quick rummage through the side pockets on my travel bag I found the small complimentary wash kit that KLM had provided. It was still sealed inside its plastic wrapper.

“There you go, Jackson.”

“Thanks, Boots. Can you make my excuses for being a little late for breakfast?”

* * *

Nathan was already in the kitchen drinking orange juice and eating cereal when I arrived, and Milly was at the range bustling around several sizzling pans.

“Good morning, Craig,” she said, “I’m making Eggs Benedict for Nathan and young Master Davis, but I’ve taken the liberty of preparing a bowl of Scottish porridge for you and I’m finishing off a proper English breakfast seeing as how you liked real baked beans so much. The porridge is there on the hot plate keeping warm, breakfast will be just a few minutes more. Plenty of coffee in the pot.”

Jackson will be down in just a few minutes,” I said as I sat down beside Nathan with my bowl of porridge. Real, creamy porridge with a hint of salt and some berries in it too. Blueberries? Lots of things in America seem to have blueberries in. Blueberries are definitely one of the good things about America.

Nathan smiled. “All good? You crept out like a mouse this morning.”

I smiled back between spoonful’s of porridge. “I didn’t want to wake you, Nat,” I whispered quietly.

That was true. When I had woken just before five-thirty and wriggled out from Nathan’s arms I was careful not to wake him. He looked so awesome as he lay there sleeping, the first rays of autumnal sunlight creeping through the bedroom blinds just picking out his coppery hair.

As Milly served Nat’s Eggs Benedict, which looked spectacular and smelled even better, there was a noise at the kitchen door and both Elizabeth and Jackson, now clean shaven, entered together.

“Morning, darling sister,” smirked Nat, “Did Jackson follow you from the bedroom too?”

Jackson blushed bright red but Elizabeth simply smiled and fired back at Nat “Maybe, maybe not. I suspect you were too pre-occupied stalking the mouse to notice.”

“Me-ow”

“Hisssssss”

Milly and I just smiled at Nat and Elizabeth as they squared off to each other like cats but Jackson looked completely dumbfounded.

“Now, Jackson,” said Milly, “Just sit yourself down and help yourself to cereals. Nathan, pour Jackson some coffee, where are your manners? Jackson, I’m making you some Eggs Benedict too, they’ll be ready in just a few minutes. Don’t mind these two.”

“Yes, ma’am,” chuckled Nathan and stood up to reach for the coffee pot. “Coffee, Jackson?”

Elizabeth was alongside Milly, looking at the breakfast she was cooking for me. There was enough to feed an entire brigade. Bacon, sausages, hash browns, eggs, mushrooms and a saucepan full of proper beans in a tomato sauce.

“You’re welcome to share it,” I said, “there’s far too much for just me.”

“Not at all, Boots,” said Elizabeth, “You enjoy it. I was just about to ask Milly if we have some smoked fish left from yesterday.”

Milly beamed at Elizabeth. “Of course we do. You help yourself to some fruit and yoghurt, Elizabeth, and I’ll grill you a nice piece of trout. I’m sure Craig will be more than happy to let you have one of his rashers of bacon to wrap it and maybe a few mushrooms too?”

“Thanks, Milly, Craig, that would be splendid.”

“You’re up early,“ said Nat to Elizabeth as she picked an apple from the bowl of fruit on the table and sat alongside me. “Checking to see I’m off back to college out of the way?”

Elizabeth smiled at him, her cat smile, “Yes, little brother, but also wondering if you could be so kind as to make a small detour on your way back to college and drop me off at the airport. I’m flying back to university this morning, don’t forget.”

“I don’t mind dropping you off,” said Jackson, quickly. “It’s hardly out of the way and I’d be delighted to be of assistance. It would also make sure Nathan and Craig aren’t late for classes.”

Nat and I both turned to each other and smirked. Jackson has fallen for that hook, line and sinker.

Half an hour later we were outside Nat’s house loading our bags into Lemon Steroids ready for the trip back to college. Jackson’s car was parked alongside Nat’s. His was a gleaming black, four door Chrysler 300 SRT saloon. That’s a little unusual: most of the students who own cars seem to have sports cars rather than saloons. Well, sedans, as the septics call them. I thought Sedan was a town in France.

Elizabeth had quite a few bags to load up and as Jackson lifted them into the trunk I opened the door for her to climb into the passenger seat. Before doing so, she leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek and whispered “I’m glad everything is turning out well for you, Craig. Look after my little brother.”

I’m sure Jackson snarled when he saw Elizabeth kiss me.

I jumped into Lemon Steroids and Nat decided to make a spectacular departure, mainly, I think, to annoy Elizabeth and Jackson. He held the handbrake on as he revved the engine, then spun the car round almost on the spot, sending up a cloud of gravel before bursting out of the turning circle at Mach 3 and screaming down to the gatehouse in a cloud of blue smoke. I loved it. It’s good to do that in Grand Theft Auto, and even better in real life.

Once out onto the highway, Nathan settled down to a steady fifty miles per hour, driving as if he was a little old lady on the way to church. He definitely has a different persona out in public to the one he has at home. I still haven’t figured out which is the real Nat. As we drove back through the leafy suburbs this side of Pittsburgh before striking out into the country towards college, I turned to look at Nat.

“Nat,” I asked, cautiously, “Are you okay with last night?”

He glanced over to me, smiled, and nodded. “Yes, Craig, I told you. I’m happy. Just take things at a pace you are comfortable with. No need to rush things. It was more than enough to just sleep with you last night. No need to do anything more.”

* * *

We arrived back at college and reached the dorm whilst all the guys were still at breakfast, and so were able to change in to uniform and collect our books undisturbed. My first class, at eight, is English, which I definitely don’t bloody well need, and then the rest of the morning is taken up with maths and physics, for both of which I’m pushed up a year with the sophomores. It wasn’t until lunch, at twelve, that I got to see the guys from the dorm. I sit on a table next to Will at lunch, and then afterwards we all tend to gravitate together in the ante-room for a coffee before afternoon classes.

All the talk, of course, was about the weekend. On Saturday morning all the guys had had a great time in military training using the radio and trying out my suggestion of making a spudtenna for it, then of course there was Noah’s visit to the gallery and his drawings to talk about, followed by the unexpected but very welcome visit and barbeque at Nat’s house on Sunday afternoon. My pictures in the paper seemed to have been the main topic of conversation for everyone at breakfast on Sunday, putting the Cadet Officers who had also been invited to the opening of the exhibition at the gallery into the shade. I decided it best not to mention anything about the face off with the Oakdale boys. I’m still pretty sure Jayden would have left me out to dry if it hadn’t been for Nathan.

“You were pretty handy with that shotgun, bustin’ clays at Nat’s yesterday,” said Travis. “Only Elizabeth beat you. She’s some girl. You’ll love having a go with my Winchester rifle. It’s an original 1873 model, way better than the modern ones. I’ve an original Colt Single Action Army revolver too. You’ll have to have a go with that. I’m arranging a trip for Thanksgiving.” Travis turned to Nat. “Will Elizabeth come too if you ask her?”

“She might if I ask her,” said Will quickly.

Nat and Kyle just smiled at each other.

“Did you enjoy the weekend, Shane?” I asked.

He smiled and nodded. “Saturday was great. I got put in charge for a while at military training and I think I did well. I ordered Travis to set up the spudtenna and Will to operate the radio. Noah was our lookout. In the afternoon Travis and me were allowed a pass out into town. I met Amelia and she brought along a friend who liked Travis, so we all had a milk shake at the diner and then went to see a movie. Sunday was good too; I enjoyed the boat trip even if we didn’t get it going as fast as you and Nathan did. I think Travis was too careful about the ‘no wake’ rule.”

I tried hard not to laugh, Travis must have been really frustrated by the fact that the boat had a speed limiter he didn’t know about. I was glad that Shane and Travis seem to have found some nice girls in town, but also a little jealous too. I still like Shane even though he doesn’t like me the same way. I think I always will. If Travis is getting a girlfriend too that’s also going to change the dynamic here in the dorm. I know I shouldn’t be envious, it’s good for Shane and Travis to be finding nice girls, but our trips into town in future will be different. They’ll want to meet up with Amelia and her friend, and I’ll be sort of just a spare part. Probably getting in the way. Maybe I should ask Nat to arrange it so me, Will and Noah alternate with Shane and Travis for passes out. That might work. Of course, Noah and Will might meet girls too, then I’d be back at square one.

The simple answer would be for Nat to arrange that I get a pass out when he does. Except, of course, that isn’t going to happen. It wouldn’t be proper for me and Nat to always be together. In fact, we should make sure we never are together. It would look bad for him. Plus, now he’s taken over as dorm senior, Nat’s hardly ever going to get a pass out into town. He’s going to have to be on duty here, supervising whoever isn’t in town at weekends, just like Kyle used to. Lee must have been frustrated by that. Hardly ever getting to see Kyle. At least that has changed now, Kyle and lee will get to see way more of each other now that Nat has stepped up to be the senior. They bloody well spent long enough together on Sunday when they took Nat’s boat out up the river!

* * *

After afternoon classes, I went straight back to the dorm at four and changed into smarts ready for afternoon tea. As we were all there, Nathan decided to bring the weekly briefing forward prior to tea and quickly read through the Commandant’s Orders and then Jackson’s Orders. Most of the content didn’t concern us, other than a few ‘Congratulatories” regarding the opening of the art exhibition. The Commandant noted that Noah had some sketches on display, a good write up complimentary to the college had been in several local newspapers and a similarly complimentary message had been received from the Governor’s Office regarding the attendance of college students at the exhibition’s opening. Nathan and I both smirked: things could have been a lot different if Jayden and Connor hadn’t showed up to rescue us from the Oakdale boys! Well, to rescue Nathan anyway.

With the briefing out of the way, we all wandered over to the ante-room for a drink and a snack prior to returning for the evening’s private study session. Even Travis joined us rather than trying to slip away to the gym, though when I commented on it to Travis it turned out that it was because Nathan had been on his case. Nat was prepared to turn a blind eye to Travis occasionally missing tea, but not every evening. Now we’re back at college Nat has definitely flicked the switch back over to “Sergeant” mode.

I made myself my customary pot of tea and took a couple of ‘cookies’ from the selection on offer then went to sit with Noah and Will who were talking with some of the other Artillery detachment cadets. Well, Will was doing the talking and Noah most of the listening. It seems Will wants to try and add a modern fire control system to the cannon. Apparently, he can get something called an Arduino processing board and integrate it with a radar module from a police speed gun and use it to calculate the velocity of each cannon ball, which in turn will help them adjust the amount of gunpowder they use for each shot and improve accuracy. I have no idea where Will thinks he can get a police speed gun from. I pointed out the flaw in his thinking.

“But Will, you don’t actually fire any cannon balls, just burn up a chunk of polystyrene to create loads of soot. There won’t be anything for the radar to track apart from smoke.”

Will looked at me and just said, “Yet…” and the other artillery cadets all exchanged the sort of furtive glances that said they were up to something, but they weren’t going to tell me. That’s probably for the best. If they are going to start putting real cannonballs in their cannon I might drop my ideas of trying to get a transfer to their detachment. Facing down some of Shane’s baseball pitches had been scary enough yesterday, I think I can do without cannonballs flying around too.

As we headed back to the dorm for private study, Kyle walked alongside me, chatting about nothing in particular but walking a little more slowly than usual. When a gap had opened up between us and the rest of the guys, such that we were out of their immediate earshot, he said quietly, “Jackson would like you to dine with him privately tonight. There’s a small dining room just off from the main one, where you sometimes see the Commandant take important visitors. It’s a perk of being Captain of Cadets that Jackson can use it too. When you go over for dinner tonight, just slip in there. Don’t make a show of it.”

Don’t make a show of it? Like as if I bloody would!

“Okay, Kyle, understood. What’s he want though?”

“You’ll have to find out for yourself, Boots, he doesn’t tell me everything that’s on his mind. Maybe he wants to clear the decks with you now that everything regarding the Oakdale issue seems to have been resolved.”

* * *

I whizzed through private study, clearing my maths and physics in no time at all, and I hadn’t been set anything for biology. That just left Spanish. The only other person in the dorm studying Spanish is Shane, everyone else is doing French or German as their modern language. I thought hard, scraping together a few of the words I’ve learned so far.

“Shane, estás ocupado?” I asked.

Shane lifted his head from his books and turned to look at me.

“What did you say, Boots?”

“I said, ‘estás ocupado’, Shane. Are you busy? We can do our Spanish homework if you like.” I think that is what I said anyway. That’s what I meant to say. Suddenly I am not so sure. Maybe I said, ‘we’re busy’ or ‘she’s busy’ or ‘they’re busy’. Maybe I just told him my hovercraft was full of eels. Things would be so much easier if everyone spoke English. Especially the Americans.

Shane smiled and then said, “Sí Boots, puedes dejarme terminar mi ciencia primero? Con qué necesitas ayuda?”

Bloody hell! What’s he just said? I didn’t catch even half of that, and understood less. I think he said ‘Yes’ to start with, then something about ‘primary science’. I was just expecting him to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Maybe ‘Yes, I am busy.’ And nice and slowly so I could grasp it. I looked at him blankly.

Shane smiled. “Será fácil, Boots, solo necesitamos escribir media página sobre las cosas que se pueden encontrar en un mercado.”

Noah looked across from his desk and grinned. “Shane speaks Spanish, Boots. He doesn’t need help with his languages homework.”

Shane speaks Spanish? I didn’t know that! He’s never told me that. Okay, so he does answer questions when the Spanish master asks him, but he rarely gets asked questions. He just seems to spend most of our Spanish classes sat at the back, quietly reading a book.  

“Well, I need help! I didn’t understand a word of what you just said, Shane. I was hoping we could practice the vocabulary we learned today about stuff we can find in shops.”

“Sure,” smiled Shane, “That’s what I just offered to help with, once I’ve finished this page of science questions. Spanish will be easy. I’ve been speaking it all my life. It’s mainly Puerto Rican Spanish though, so my accent might be a way out from real Spanish.”

Shane turned back to his science homework as I went bright red and looked down at my Spanish notebook. I’ve got a list of thirty things that can be found in a market. Mainly food, like potatoes and tomatoes and stuff like that. I need to memorise all the Spanish names for them, then write a few sentences like “I would like to buy a pound of potatoes, please.”

Shane glanced back across at me, smiling his beautiful smile. “Don’t fret it Boots, just try and memorise all the words on the list and I’ll help you practice them later. It’s way easier than math.”

An hour later, as we walked over to dinner, Shane was still helping me with my Spanish vocabulary. Well, actually, the vocabulary was relatively easy, all I had to do was memorise all the words. I’d done that bit by the time Shane finished his science worksheet. The hard bit is stringing them together in sentences and getting the correct verbs and tenses and that sort of stuff. Shane didn’t mind helping me with that. He sat with me and started to put two or three words together, then a few more, building up sentences about buying things. All done bit by bit. He was patient too, and didn’t get antsy when I got my words wrong. By the time we stepped into the ante-room, I think I could have about turned, gone to the grocery store back in town and bought all I need to make a salad. Well, if they speak Spanish in the grocery store anyway.

At the entrance to the dining room Shane turned and headed towards his table as I paused and looked round. Normally I’d stay near the door, sit alongside Will at the very back table with half a dozen freshers from the other first year dorms. Tonight, of course, I have to go and dine with Jackson in the Commandant’s private dining room which is accessed through a door about a third of the way along one side of the dining room. I strode causally towards it, nodding as I passed a table where Nathan’s swim buddy, Riley, was sitting with several more sophomores.

“Hi, Boots,” said Riley, “Did you get lost tonight? The plebs sit down at the back.” He’s only joking.

“I thought I’d take a stroll up here, Riley, check out the view ready for next year.” As Riley turned away momentarily to say something to one of his friends, I casually put my hand on the door handle of the Commandant’s dining room, opened the door and slipped through it quietly.

The door didn’t lead directly through into another dining room as I had expected it to, but into a small lobby area with a couple of red leather armchairs, a bookcase and a large potted plant.  A corridor led off towards the kitchens and  between the two chairs was a second door, walnut panelled and with a large brass handle. That must be the way into the dining room itself. Jackson was sat in one of the armchairs reading a newspaper.

“Good evening, Sir,” I said quietly, almost not wanting to disturb him.

“Evening, Boots,” said Jackson as he looked up and folded the newspaper carefully before laying it down on a small table. “Come on through.”