Gay Fetish Blog

For some, this is an oxymoron fetish. As some armpitters are into the hair element, the exposure of a gruff masculinity with concurrent scents and mystery.

But for others, admiration the full armpit exposure smoothness communicates, common among bodybuilders and other athletes, is a life goal. It can be an extension of a desire to see smoothness overall, as the pecs, biceps, traps, and delts converge. And it can align with anything from a tickling fetish to jock functionality. A gymnast, for example, will often have smooth armpits so nothing gets caught or pulled during their extreme athletic activity.

Or it just looks good to judges. Whether a judge in a formal competition, or an informal gay judge looking for their gay armpit lover dream guy, smoothness can win the day.

Yes, you too can own a magical, portable glory hole. You already do. It's called your fly. And with it (and whatever parts you have behind it) you can turn any random place into a glory hole, including, ironically, a glory hole actually built into the bathroom stall wall.

That would be a penis passing through two glory holes at once. One literal and one figurative. That's a lot of glory-hole action.

Now a lot of them are totally dead, so it's good to go with the portable option, like when you're at a restaurant or hockey game or Harrods. That's a London department store because I'm pretending I'm well-traveled. In fact, I am only well-traveled when it comes to portable glory holes.

I asked my partner what he thought of puppy play. "Is that the thing where guys wear dog snouts and stuff?" he asked. I told him it was. "It's ridiculous," he barked, adding, "I don't understand why guys want to be treated like that." I think most of us probably think puppy play is weird, a little absurd, and maybe even preposterous. I remember feeling the same way when I first heard one man call another daddy. But now, all these years later, I get charged up when a man says to me, "You make Daddy's dick feel good, you're such a good boy." So let's break down puppy play and see what it's all about.

In the mood to be crushed by a hardcore muscle ass? Want to play hard with glutes so ripped they can actually fuck you? Or terrified by muscles that you didn't quite know could exist?

All of the above for me. Though I'm not sure how an ass could fuck me, I'm sure it could figure it out. I think it involves said ass clenching a bat between its cheeks (between not in) and then wielding it like a pinch hitter at the World Series of Anus.

The benefit to dating a guy who regularly gets splattered and caked in mud is you never have to buy him a spa gift certificate. Though I'm thinking spa-grade mud is of a bit different quality than random sludge.

But when you're getting a mud treatment at a spa, they tend to dissuade boners.

Now I can't recreate the sound effects of all this. The squishes and splashes and splorks and squeaks and sucks. But I'm assuming that's part of the kink. As the mud is its own organism at that point.

Why would a sexual interest in jeans (and the men's stuff stuffed in the jeans) need a spotlight? Who, besides some country club elitist with an aversion to denim, would not appreciate some bulging, tight, inviting jeans?

But that's the point. Just because an interest is shared by a majority doesn't make it generic and meaningless. It's still a kink.

And it's philosophically no different than a more specialized sexual interest such as role playing doctor patient, or doctor dressed as Batman treating patient dressed as a wombat.

Le Jocke Strappe. Jocko Strappo. Zhokke Tzrap. Whatever you call it, it's like a big, shiny bow on the present that is cock.

And it does a good job of framing an ass. Real hard worker, that jockstrap. Good guy. He deserves to soak up all the sweat, cum and piss he can. 

Leather muscle top Lord Krshna gets his cock serviced by bottom pig Jesse Balboa. Then the top bangs Jesse over a fuck bench and Owen Hawk joins him with a tag-team ass assault.

It's natural to put the spotlight on dildos because guys who stuff themselves with dildos tend to like to see it going in and stretching them open. And like athletes who record their performances in order to later analyze technique, self-observation can be important.

Especially if the goal is to take on a dildo as big as one's forearm or mortgage.

They don't have to be seen as a replacement for being fucked, despite the sometimes extremely penis-y look of the things. Some are more abstract sculptures of sorts. And all are an extension of masturbation. Even if it's being done primarily for an audience. 

Now this kink goes way back to the late 60s when Star Trek fanzines started sprouting up. And it's still around in various iterations. From folks focusing purely on the visuals to writers to a combination.

K/S slash fiction was developed in mostly a vacuum. The writers (and illustrators) didn't have Buffy/Willow or even Sherlock Holmes/Watson fiction to refer to. Rather they just went for it. And if you watch TOS (The Original Series) closely, you'll see Kirk and Spock do have intimate moments of caring and passion (nonsexual) up for extremely liberal interpretation when you really want a certain type of connection to be there. 

Though seeing kissing or penis mouth ass stuff is rather impossible so folks had to get creative. Never having actual gay characters on the show (until recent and upcoming reboots) also fed the need. 

When a foot fetish isn't enough, it's time to get more specific. Naturally, focusing on the sole is a way to milk the most out of the kink. Because when you're a pervert on the go, it's important to be efficient.

Exposed soles bring other kinks to mind. Massage. Tickling. Bondage. Caning. Even socks if focused on socks with holes in them that expose the sole.

Then there are the folks who like shots of stuff between the toes like gummy worms or, I would imagine, tied up used condoms. It is important to reduce, reuse, and recycle.

What did macrophiliacs do before Photoshop? Attend basketball games hoping to be accosted by a giant? Or trade a cow for magic beans and plant them and climb to the top and hope to be tormented by a giant?

Or just close their eyes and dream.

A lot of folks get off on size differences. On a statistical level, all heterosexuals come to mind. But this is more specific than that. Whether you're a macrophiliac top (which I guess means the tall one) or macrophiliac bottom (which I guess means the one looking in awe at the giant guy), it's the entire body that's a different size. Not just big cock/little cock, big muscles/little muscles. 

And since more people have access to editing photos, their fantasies can sort of come to life. 

This isn't quite like calling a dick a kink. Because being into dick is a pretty basic thing. Even being into balls is fairly basic since they come along for the ride. Nope. Low-hanging balls. Swinging sack of potatoes. Cum-filled plums. 

I'm allowed to call them things that aren't popular sayings. Soon the world will be shouting cum-filled plums from all the rooftops of apartment buildings that house guys with cum-filled plums.

Or going nonverbal with your interest is fine too. Love is an action, right? So love of low-hanging balls is an action too.

I've been too distracted by the potential awfulness of men who wear deep cut tank tops to really focus on the benefits. My experience is limited to jerks at the gym. Profoundly jerky jerks. Or probably they are if I talked to them.

But I am certain there are non-horrible people who wear these. And the main thing that's not horrible about them is their calm, focused intent to display pecs and nips and a sneak peak of abs. All of this in a casual way, like accidentally leaving one's fly unzipped. Except on purpose.

Have you ever French kissed someone for the first time and realize your stroke of luck as their tongue snakes between your lips and takes over? Mega long and/or wide tongues aren't a guarantee of pleasure but when a guy know how to use it, they sure can help.

And that can include him using his own tongue on himself. Because he can.

It's such a random thing that you don't exactly see personal ads "Seeking Long Tongue for Long Hot Times" or "Seeking Long Tongue Guy for Long-Term Relationship" but it's still a nice bonus to discover during dating. Or when his mouth is already wrapped around your cock and his tongue joins in.