Hugo’s Story
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” I said out loud to myself with my head in my hands.
“What’s wrong sweetie, why are y’all cryin’, you fricking killed it out there tonight!” My friend Tad, AKA as Miss Booger Holler, asked as he sauntered back stage. I didn’t say shit, I just took my Dolly Parton wig off and looked in the mirror. He just put his arms around me from behind and said, “I’m here if you wanna talk.”
I didn’t answer right away, but finally said, “Did you see the group of shirtless hot guys out there?” I asked.
“Bitch! Am I blind?! Of course, I saw them… the whole damn place saw them” I didn’t say nothin’, I just waited for Tad to put the pieces together. “Friends who don’t know you’re a drag queen in the audience?” He asked empathetically, god knows I wasn’t the first one to deal with that.
“Yup” I said almost cryin’, shit I don’t cry. “That’s like my whole fuckin’ support system out there. None of ‘em know me like this, they think I’m a tough loner. They’re gonna think I’m just some little faggotty queen, just some joke.”
“I thought they were all gay” Tad said lookin’ at me, mascara runnin’ down my face.
“They are, but gay is one thing… this” I said motionin’ to, well, all of me dressed as Dolly Parton, fake boobs and all, “Is somethin’ completely different.”
“So what? You said they were your support system… they support you, right?” I nodded. “They love you, right?” I had to think about that. Did they love me? I mean they were all there for me when I needed ‘em. RayRay was more than a boss, I considered him a good friend. N’ Che, he got me off the streets, he was a good friend too. Same with the guys at the candle factory n’ Harrington House, all friends. N’ yeah, I loved all those guys, I guess. Did they love me too? Shit, love was a word I just never really thought about. Before I could answer there was a knock on the dressin’ room door. Tad answered it n’ left the room.
“Miss Anita Brute you were fabulous” Seth’s familiar voice said as he walked towards me. I was sitting in a makeup chair in front of the mirror n’ could see him comin’ up behind me. He saw my face in the mirror. “Why are you crying?” He asked (hard to deny when your makeup is running). “You were flipping awesome out there. Why the hell didn’t you tell me you were so talented?”
I scoffed, “Talented? I’m just some little queer in a dress” I said. “I didn’t want nobody to know; I tried so hard my whole life t’ be tough, t’ prove I’m a man even though I suck dick. You know what it’s like, Seth. You know what it’s like to have the world look at you n’ only see you as gay… nothin’ else. I don’t want ‘em all to see me as just some fag in drag”
Seth thought about it for a second, hell, Seth thought about everything. “Fuck them” He said thoughtfully. “Fuck the people who can’t see beyond the surface. You should be damn proud of what you did on that stage. You had the crowd smiling, and laughing, and cheering. That’s something to be proud of. Not a lot of people can do that.” He waited for me to respond, but I didn’t know what the fuck to say. “All your friends are out there waiting to congratulate you; those guys love and accept you… unconditionally” There was that word again, ‘love.’ That word was just never part a’ my vocabulary growin’ up.
“Really? They all stuck around?”
“Hell yes!” Seth barked out with a smile. “They’re having the best time and waiting for you to come back. So, fix your damn face and get back out there. Your fans are waiting… and Izzy would flip the freak out if she saw you! She would love this!” I looked in the mirror n’ saw myself smilin’, then started to fix my makeup. While I was doing that, Caleb walked in… Seth quietly walked out n’ left us alone.
“Hey” I mumbled quietly, I didn’t know what the fuck to say to him or how he’d react. I looked in the mirror and saw him behind me with this gigantic smile on his face.
“You were flipping awesome. How long have you been doing this, and why didn’t you tell me?! I’d come to all your shows. This was so much fun!” His excitement made me feel a little better.
“A coupla’ years. I dunno why I didn’t tell nobody, maybe because it don’t exactly match my tough guy image” I grumbled out. Then I looked in the mirror and saw Cay laughin’ at that… fine, fuck it, I laughed too. I mean if you can’t laugh at yourself what the fuck? Right? “I wanted to tell you, but… well… why? It’s always been something I just did for myself.” I grew up in a very traditional home, my parents were dedicated to the family, they actually accepted my sexuality (just not my choice to act on it, or my choice in men), but we weren’t allowed to discuss it, especially in front of my abuela (she would have locked me in the church and prayed until the devil left me). So, I learned to keep things to myself. “When I was a teenager in Texas, just figuring all this gay shit out, I made some friends who used to sneak into clubs… that’s where I saw my first drag show. I was obsessed! All the dresses, makeup, n’ glitter but what got me was the adoration. The guys, some really girly, but some really manly transformed into beautiful works of art, n’ when they got on the stage everyone adored ‘em.” I shut the fuck up for a second n’ looked at Cay in the mirror, he was just listening like Seth always did, so I kept talkin’. “There was this drag contest at this underage club, every month, so, I went to Good Will, bought some shit, got some makeup from Walmart n’ did my face up… all wrong, I used socks for tits, n’ got a cheap wig from Party City. My whole outfit cost under forty bucks. I looked like shit, but I did it. I found the balls to get up on stage as Miss Lois Price, a cheap, Walmart-built drag queen.”
Cay laughed, not at me, but with me, “Oh my god, that took guts, how’d it go.”
“Ha, like shit. I lip synced to ‘Born This Way’ my moves sucked, my lip syncing was way the fuck off, my look was cheap… but everyone cheered anyway. When I stepped off the stage, everyone wanted to meet me, talk t’ me, n’ slip money in my bra. I ended up winnin’ ten bucks for best effort… I think they made the prize up because I was so pathetic and they felt sorry for me.”
Still chucklin’ Cay said, “That sounds awful… but kinda great.”
“Well, I felt kinda stupid, but kinda good about myself for doin’ it, n’ for like an hour of my life it felt okay to be gay. To just be whoever I wanted. But when I got back stage, that’s when everything really changed. The drag queens basically took me in. They gave me makeup tips, told me where to find cheap clothes n’ wigs, coached me on how to lip sync better n’ even taught me some dance moves.” Cay was eatin’ dat story up. “I worked part time after school at a convenience store, it was usually quiet later in the day so I’d listen to my music with my earbuds and mouth the words, sometimes I’d even practice my moves. I found louder dresses, learned how to move in high heels, watched makeup tutorials on YouTube, n’ kept goin’ back to the competition every month. The queens kept helpin’ me get better, one of ‘em named me Anita Brute… just because she thought it fit my new, confident persona better… finally about six months in, I won the contest for real. I loved doin’ drag.”
“So, do you have a bunch of drag friends back home?”
“No, not really. They tried, but I was afraid of gettin’ outed, so I only really talked to them backstage, but they treated me like one a’ them.”
“So why did you leave Texas?”
“I met this guy at the club, I dated him in secret for a while, then eventually introduced him to my parents… they fuckin’ hated him. He moved here, never really asked me to come but I followed him anyway. Packed all my shit, showed up at his apartment and moved in. My parents were against it n’ warned me that if I left Texas to move in with that guy in North Carolina, don’t bother t’ come back. ‘If it doesn’t work out, you’re on your own’ my Papi yelled to me… I think he was relieved to have a better reason to disown me than just abandoning his gay son. In my family, family is everything… until they don’t fit the mold n’ fall in line… Papi, rules. Well, it didn’t work out, I guess the guy liked Anita Brute more than Hugo. He just changed the locks one night n’ never said shit to me about it. I ended up on the streets, Che found me, brought me to Seth, n’ that’s how I met the Village.” I took a breath, “When I got settled in at Harrington House, I borrowed the green Beetle and went back to my old place to get all my drag shit from the guy who through me out. He’d just left all my shit in a closet n’ was glad I came to get it, it saved him the trouble of shovin’ it all in trash bags n’ throwin’ it out.” Caleb’s expression hadn’t changed much, he was just listenin’. “So, that’s my story.”
“Wow, I… I never would’ve guessed any of that…” Cay said, he was gonna say more when Tad burst into the dressin’ room.
“Get your hot brown ass back out there, gurl! Your fans are waitin’ for you n’ the other bitches are soakin’ up all the tips.” Tad was loud, proud, n’ fabulous… zero shame. “So put that cute little nugget of a boy down and get out there” He said givin’ Caleb a flirty touch. Caleb’s face was hilarious; he had no clue what to make of Miss Booger Holler.
“I’m gonna go back out there” Cay said blushin’. After he left, I fixed my face, straightened my tits, n’ went back out there to face the music.
The club was loud, music n’ dancing replaced the drag show, but when the guys saw me comin’ back their cheers blocked out all the other noise. I wasn’t sure how they’d react to me, but all I heard was shit like ‘oh my god Hugo, you were awesome’ n’ ‘you shoulda’ won’ n’ ‘why didn’t you tell us. We’d be at every damn show.’ All words of support n’ encouragement. Yeah, they gave me shit too… but they weren’t bein’ mean, it was all in fun… like friends do.
“We work together like twenty hours a week, talk ‘bout fuckin’ ever’thin’, n’ y’all forgot to mention… this” RayRay said wavin’ his arm around. Then he put an arm around me, offered to buy me a drink, n’ tucked a ten dollar bill inta’ my bra. All the other Villagers reacted pretty much the same kinda way… I felt almost weightless, this big secret just got lifted off my shoulders. These guys accepted me as I was. I can’t tell ya’ how fuckin’ awesome that felt. I’d found my people.
After a couple more hours of mixin’ n’ minglin’, n one more “all queens on deck” number to end the night, I was ready to head home to Harrington House, feelin’ better than I think maybe I ever had. In the dressin’ room the other queens joked with me n’ gave me shit about all my hot friends. When I finally walked out to my Jeep, I felt good about me, not just me, Anita Brute, but me Hugo. I worked on lip syncin’ a new song for my act on the drive home, the top was down and the wind felt good after a sweaty night on stage. I pulled the Jeep into my spot next t’ the Green Beetle… weird, I thought Caleb was drivin’ the Beetle t while he was home. I thought to myself as I unloaded my gear. I lugged all my shit up the stairs to my apartment, when I reach the third floor I saw someone sitting on the floor, leaning against my door.
“Hi”
“Cay, what the fuck you doin’ here?”
“I figured you might not wanna be alone tonight.” Cay was home for the summer n’ workin’ for Seth, and we was hookin’ up once in a while, nothin’ serious, just sex. Cay was inta’ thugs, n’ I was inta’… well… sex. “Damn, dat’s a nice surprise, Papi” I said after he stood up; I unlocked the door n’ we both stepped inside. It was a little awkward at first, but we talked while I unpacked my gear. I couldn’t believe Cay was so cool about everythin’, he’s pretty innocent n’ I thought this would freak him the fuck out.
I took a deep breath n’ said what I was thinkin’, “So, I guess my thug image is dead.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Cay laughed. “You were so beautiful, graceful, feminine even… then out pops…” he waved his hand around me. “This. This hot, confident, Latin…” he fumbled for the word, “Man. Shit… you are all man and it turns me the flip on.”
I smiled big… I mean, that’s how I felt, there were two completely different sides to me… but I didn’t think anyone else would see it that way. “So, I stink like shit, you wanna take a shower with a man?” I asked. Caleb started moving towards the bathroom leavin’ a trail of clothes behind him. “Soooo, that’s a, yes?” I asked with a laugh. Caleb didn’t hear me cause his nekkid white ass was already in the bathroom gettin’ the shower ready.
I went to my bedroom, stripped down, then went to the bathroom and washed my face again, I washed up at the club, but they don’t have no shower or nothin’ so it was a half assed job.
“The waters warm, get in here” Cay yelled from the shower.”
He was already on his knees when I got in, he took my brown, uncut cock in his mouth. “Man, I stink, let me rinse off.”
“You smell like a man” He said lookin’ up at me, then he went back to work on my cock. Gotdamn his mouth felt so good. He worked me up n’ down, n’ I started soapin’ up the rest of my sweaty body n’ just enjoyed the fuck outta the slow, wet, surprise BJ. That night was so crazy!!! I always get amped on show night, but then seein’ all them guys out in the audience, now Caleb showin’ up t’ have sex wid me… shit! I rinsed the soap off a’ me, then looked down at Caleb, workin’ hard t’ get me off. I put my hand on the back a’ his head n’ started fuckin’ his face. “Ay Dios mio, papi. Eso es, chupa esa polla.” Sometimes when I get goin’, I lose control n’ the Spanish just comes out… the weird thing is that I almost never speak Spanish no more. I used to speak it at home with my family sometimes, but I don’t think I used it since I left home. I guess it just felt comfortable or somethin’. But it spewed outta me without warnin’ n’ it got Cay goin’, he grabbed my ass cheeks n’ dug his nails in t’ ‘em while he took me as fuckin’ deep as he could. He was chokin’ himself on my thick piece n’ lovin’ the fuck outta it. He looked up at me, even under the runnin’ water I could see his puppy dog eyes were wet, n’ tears were runnin’ down his innocent lookin’ face.
He pulled off me, wipin’ his eyes with the back a’ his wrist, “Take me to the bedroom and fuck me” He said, in a raspy voice.
“I wanna fuck you here” I said.
“No, I wanna lay on my back and watch your face” He said then pulled my wet naked body against his, n’ shoved his tongue down my throat. It was hot as fuck! My hands moved down his back until they were pullin’ his ass cheeks apart n’ my fingers were explorin’ his pucker. “Come on” He growled as he shut off the water. We dried each other off n’ moved to the bedroom… fast as hell. Caleb ran ahead a’ me n’ was on his back with his knees pulled to his chest before I even walked in the room.
“Day-um, Papi” I said as I exhaled. Shit, his hairless, pink hole was fuckin’ centerstage just beggin’ for my dick. I hated to disappoint his hole, but my tongue got there first. I lay on my chest on the bed n’ licked his sweet, clean ass crack up n’ down, then I shoved my tongue in deep. Fuck! He tasted so clean n’ sweet, I could’a just ate his sweet hole all night… n’ it felt like I did. I kept goin’ n’ goin’, Caleb had one arm under his knees n’ was holdin’ ‘em tight against his chest, n’ was usin’ the other one to push my face in t’ his ass. Shit, y’all, he was moanin’, groanin’, whinperin’, n spewing out a sting a’ dirty talk… okay, well dirty for Caleb. Shit like, ‘lick my flippin’ hole’, n’ ‘shove your gosh dang tongue in there.’ I was tryin’ not t’ laugh. Caleb actually swore sometimes, but since he got his internship, he was tryin’ t’ be more professional, it was… well, cute. Like him. He was so different from other guys I dated. Oh shit, I didn’t mean date, I meant hooked up wid… dat’s all we was doin’, hookin’ up. Shit, he made dat clear. Caleb seemed all innocent, n’ virginy, but I know he was havin’ fun at college, meetin’ n’ playin’ wid new, different kinda boys. He didn’t hide none a’ dat from me, we was honest with each other (well except about the drag queen shit). Anyway, I was eatin’ his hole like it was a buffet, n’ smacked his white ass a few times turnin’ it chili pepper red.
“God, that feels good. But fuck me already” He begged, his voice deep with lust. So… I did. I lined my brown, uncut, tool up with his hole n’ pushed in. I was watchin’ his face. He winced at first, then his whole face just kinda got softer, wid dis blissful smile. He started moanin’, n’ thrashin’ his head from side to side. I leaned in t’ kiss him… dat was a mistake. His arms wrapped around my back, his tongue darted down my throat, n’ his nails dug inta’ my back. I yelled out an ‘ow.’ But he kept his claws in me. “Fuck me harder!” He begged. The dude was gone. Drunk on my damn cock n’ beggin’ for more as he pushed back inta’ me, fuckin’ himself.
We fucked hard n’ fast for as long as I could hold out, “I’m cummin’, Papi” I grunted.
“Pull out and shoot on my face” He begged in a whisper.
I couldn’t help but smile down at him. This innocent lookin’ little dude who said shit like “gosh” n’ “flippin’” was jackin’ himself off n’ beggin for my cum. He loved gettin’ fucked, n’ dat made it so much hotter.
We shot at almost the same time, I think I came first… who da’ fuck cares. I watched my cum splash on his sweet face, his tongue reached out tryin’ to catch what he could. His own hot cum shot between us and was gluein’ us together. We were huffin’ n’ puffin’, tryin’ t’ catch our breath. I rolled off him n’ lay next to him, we were both lookin’ at the ceiling.
“That was so flippin’ hot” Cay said.
“You like seein’ me in drag, huh?”
“No. It wasn’t that” He said, then we turned on our sides facin’ each other. “You were brave as flip.”
“Brave?” What you mean, brave?”
“I mean, a guy like you who always plays tough, never lets his guard down, is up on that stage without any… any… fucks to give.”
I laughed at how hard it was for him to say ‘fucks” n’ smiled at how he thought I was brave. I never thought about it like that. Caleb cut our pillow talk short so we could take another shower… this time I sucked him off n’ he came for a second time. Then, he dried off, got dressed, n’ I walked him outta my apartment, down the steps n’ to the back door. I gave him a good night kiss on the back steps… n’ fuckin’ Carty was walkin’ in.
He was shocked t’ see his mentor makin’ out with me, but Caleb turned it around. “It’s almost 3AM, what are you doing out?” he asked. Carty turned red, n’ before he could answer, Caleb said… “If you won’t tell neither will I.” That was the end of that (at least I hoped so for Caleb… I could tell he was embarrassed, n’ maybe a little worried about Seth finding out, but I figured he knew anyway).
The next day was Sunday n’ I woke up at the crack a’ noon. I never got to sleep in n’ I was wiped the fuck out. I made myself some mac n’ cheese, sat on the couch n’ watched a buncha’ Marvel movies. It was a wasted Sunday, but I fuckin’ needed a break. Monday mornin’ it was back to work at BroMax Candle, I had my session with Seth on my lunchbreak. I was expectin’ him to bust my balls about doin’ drag n’ not tellin’ him.
When I sat down Seth asked, “So how are things going?” he literally always asked that when we started our session. I told him about work; we talked about how I was savin’ money. I didn’t really have much of a plan for the future like a lot of the other guys did, Seth would push a little but not too hard, I think he was happy that I just wasn’t fuckin’ up. There was only like ten minutes left in our session… Seth didn’t say a fuckin’ thing about Saturday night. I knew he was thinkin’ bout it, so why the fuck didn’t he ask? I finally brought it up, “So, you gonna ask me about drag?”
Seth had no expression on his face, “Why, do you want to talk about it?” He just sat there waiting, like it was no big deal. I just offered it all up, I told him everything. All Seth said was, “You didn’t need to hide it you know. I thought you were awesome.”
“That’s it?” I asked. “That’s all you got t’ say.” Seth just sat there with that look of no look on his face then he shrugged.
“What else do you want me to say? So, you do drag. Big whoop.” He said grinnin’. “You were great, and I thought it was brave as hell of you to come back out of the dressing room and face all your friends. You must’ve been in shock.” I told him all about how I felt when I saw ‘em all, n’ we talked about how long I’d been doin’ drag n’ shit like that. Seth just listened, then ended our session with, “I thought you were awesome. I’m glad you have something that makes you happy.”
Total. Fuckin’. Acceptance… Weird.
To be continued…
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