Wednesday, February 19th, 2025
The eight men sat in silence at a carved stone table inside a restaurant within Eternal Domination.
One could not talk. But for the other seven, it was all choice.
This was a double double date of killer enemies in hell and the hors d'oeuvres had yet even to arrive!
On one side of the ancient arcane monolith table was The Dark Watchman and his night crew of brave vigilante warriors! The antyish heroes wore all black as they sat brooding in the flickering infernal candlelight of the fine dining establishment.
And on the other side sat Steel, the invincible robotic cyborg from the future and his new family of outcasts from all across time itself. These motley chrono castaways pretend to read their menus of indecipherable demonic languages as they wait for someone else to finally break the ice.
"Some weather we are having in The Mid Levelysium," finally broaches Slash, boyfriend and confidant of the studly cyberman.
"I'LL KILL EVERY PART OF YOU!" screams one of his enemies in response!
Truth be told, the villain once known as The Shocker was having a bit of trouble adjusting to the hero life.
"No dude! We are not killing our future allies!" berates the young acrobatic rookie officer Jay, ward of The Dark Watchman.
"But these are the fools who seek to stand against us!" breathes the masked former villain angrily. "We should take them out now while they are eating breadsticks!"
"I'd like to see you try, you ugly varmint!" yells back a mysterious cowboy dressed provocatively in only a black hat.
The rough and tumble wild west warrior was used to shooting first, eating later! This modern eras reversed traditions over wine and biscuits was still making him uneasy!
But before the hastily arranged double double date could spiral further downward into the ever darkness of the vast underworld, one of the chic restaurant's demonic chefs materialized from the flames nearby to cook their orders live on their own sacrificial altar table.
"I've always wanted to come to one of these!" exlaimed Henry as the insidious fire beast servant of the restaurant began to take their orders.
Indeed the waiting list for a table here at Sangria had already booked for months by the time Slash had needed a reservation. The sort of still evil genius had been forced to threaten a bloodletting one on of the owners just to get them seated! It was imperative that the warriors meet to discuss their upcoming martial combat match before they went to arms!
So as the demon chef killed and carved two cows, three chickens, and an assortment of other farm animals messily and bloodily before them all on the sacrificial restaurant table, the new to heroism young detective began his hard sell.
"We must make peace before all is lost!" shouts the evilish genius as red liquid pours across their table altar in thick deep grooves cut into the rock.
"It's a trick!" yells the new masked henchmen of The Dark Watchman. "I knew we shouldn't have agreed to meet before battle! All they want our are bitches!"
The Dark Watchman for himself continues to stare silently at Steel. Neither of the two manly heroes had spoken a word yet. Neither was sure either would.
"I can only but assure you that is nothing of the case," says the bitchmind organizer of the dinner as he rests an arm around his muscle hunk boyfriend's shoulder. "For the first time in all our lives, none of us are thinking about sex!"
"Look! They admit it!" cries out the villain once known as The Shocker. "You think we can trust them now?"
The Dark Watchman gets to his feet.
Not thinking only about sex? That was indeed disturbing news about their new friends.
Steel stands as well, measuring the heat in his enemies rising with his high tech robotic sensors. This was not going well!
"Wait! It's not like that!" says Slash in exasperation. "We aren't some sort of asexual freaks! A dark empire the size of all that is known is about to descend on our heads! And there is only one way to stop it!"
The evil genius had finally gotten his enemies attention.
"We have to end the universe!"
The Dark Watchman watches his foes closely. Were not these time freaks to be heroes?
Clearly only his team was fit to win The Tournament of Men and free the cosmos from whatever threats may endanger it!
"Our fates will be decided on the field of war," answers the hero darkly as he storms away from their restaurant table in hell.
"As you wish," answers Steel. "To war."
...
For the next The Book Club Below... try and go on a date yourself! Then call the lucky man your new hero or villain and watch his face next for endless hilarity!
