After that night, there was a deepening between them, a strengthening, as if a work of clay, after weeks of being carefully shaped and sculpted, painted and glazed, was finally placed in the kiln to fire and solidify. It was a change, a transition of sorts, but not one to be feared or resisted. It was an expansion, a widening, an evolution.
They spent Sunday morning in bed, making slow, unhurried love, still tangled together between the sheets. Archie again made coffee and brought it to Graham in bed. Graham rubbed Archie’s back, straddling his bare hips and slowly working the tension out of Archie’s gorgeous, graceful muscles. There was no hurry to move, no hurry to dress, no hurry to leave this quiet bubble they’d carved out together for themselves.
And so, they spent the day together, tangled, naked, until finally their stomachs rumbled too loudly and they accepted defeat with an honest laughter, conceding that their bodies did in fact need more sustenance than sex to survive. But even as they showered, as they dressed, as they drove to a quiet, neighborhood pub for an early dinner, the energy between them felt still, attentive, reverent.
Because Graham knew that, as soon as that Sunday ended, his final week in Iowa began. And that reality he was not yet ready to accept.
“Two down, two do go,” Charlie smiled as he and Graham packed up the conference room. It was Tuesday, the clock nearing six, and he’d just finished his day of training with the plumbing group. They were a little grumpy, but mostly receptive. Graham understood this adoption of technology would be a notable change to their daily routine, so he tried to offer them patience and understanding. At the same time, the schedule had only allowed one day with them, and he had an agenda to fulfill.
“Yeah,” Graham nodded, rubbing his forehead like he’d broken a sweat. “That one was a doozy.”
“Don’t worry, I think these guys are always like that.” Charlie offered him a reassuring smile.
“Is that so?”
“Yeah, they grumble and throw a fit, but by tomorrow they won’t even remember what they were upset about.”
Graham laughed.
“If only my memory was so mercifully short.”
“You and me both,” Charlie smiled. “Listen, I did want to get your input on something, if you’ve got a second.”
“Uh, yeah. Sure. Whatcha got?”
Graham returned his backpack to the chair and gave Charlie his full attention.
“After our time with the admin team last week, there is a little bit of concern with basic system maintenance and operations. I think the setup is a bit more expansive than what was originally realized – which is a good thing and a credit to the great work you’ve done – but there is some talk about needing a designated system administrator to keep things running smoothly.”
“Oh,” Graham nodded. “Yeah, that is perfectly understandable. I know we’ve got several clients, large and small, who have some designated folks to handle the admin side of things.”
Charlie smiled.
“That’s reassuring. Based on the first round of talks – and this is totally just the ideation stage at this point – leadership was wondering if that’s a role you might be able to step into.”
“Oh,” Graham said, a bit stunned.
“I’m drafting a proposal to send over to your sales team. I seem to recall someone mentioning you offered in-house admin services at some point, but I felt it was only right to gauge your interest before requesting you specifically.”
“Well, first of all, I’m flattered,” Graham smiled, his mind spinning with this new information. “Would you want this person to be onsite? As in, would he or she need to be a local resource?”
“Not at all,” Charlie smiled, an eyebrow raising with interest. “Obviously, if you aren’t interested, we’ve discussed the possibility of creating a position for someone to fill locally. But…the team really enjoyed working with you, and leadership has been very impressed with what you’ve been able to accomplish in such a short amount of time. And you already know our setup, so that’s an obvious perk.”
Such a short time, Graham thought. He felt like he’d lived an entire lifetime since he’d first arrived in Des Moines, and he meant that in the best possible way.
“Just out of curiosity, are you open to relocation?” Charlie continued. “If so, I think we would be happy to incorporate that into the discussion. It would be great to have someone onsite, especially for additional trainings…but I’m sorry,” Charlie chuckled. “I’m getting ahead of myself. You haven’t answered my first question yet.”
“I –” Graham began. “I think I am, actually. Interested. Not certain, of course, but…I’m intrigued.”
Charlie beamed. “That’s great, Graham. I’m sure everyone will be happy to hear that.”
“Thanks, that means a lot. And please let them know that, you know, I’ve been doing this for a long time and I’ve worked with a lot of clients but…I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much hospitality and welcome. This place has oddly started to feel like home.”
“Thank you for saying that. I’ll be sure to pass that along.” Charlie nodded, smiling warmly. “And, I hope I’m not overstepping, but I know the life of a consultant can be hard. Demanding. Lonely, even. So, after we had that last talk, I thought you might be interested in making a change, or at least having an option in front of you.”
“Thanks, Charlie.” Graham was touched by this consideration. “That means a lot.”
They collected their things and started their walk towards the parking lot.
“My old consulting job definitely took its toll on me. It wore me out, not to mention it put my marriage through the ringer. Being gone all the time, being exhausted when I was home. It took its toll.”
“I'm sure. Fortunately that’s not a huge worry of mine right now,” Graham laughed sarcastically.
“Still, burnout is burnout,” Charlie counseled.
“That’s true. This has been nice, but I can’t imagine having to go start this over and do it all again somewhere new. That sounds…exhausting. Like, it’s a bit crazy what some jobs demand of you. Total sacrifice. Putting your personal life completely on the backburner. And for what?”
Charlie chuckled.
“Sorry,” Graham smiled. “Probably shouldn't say that to my client.”
“No, I agree with you. I finally reached a point where I had to choose – my marriage or my job.”
“Well, I'm sure your wife was relieved,” Graham observed.
“Husband,” Charlie clarified.
Graham froze, his neck suddenly warming for some unknown reason. “Sorry?”
“My husband, Mark.”
“Oh. I'm sorry, I –” Graham stammered. “I shouldn't have assumed.”
“Not a problem,” Charlie responded cheerfully. “But yes, to your point, he was very relieved.” They reached the front doors and walked out, stepping into the warm evening sun. “You know, I spent so long hustling for my career through my twenties and thirties, it was a little scary imagining doing anything else.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Graham thought for a second, still wrapping his head around the husband revelation. “How did you figure out what to do? How did you know it was time?”
“Well,” Charlie paused, reflecting. “I think it just happened. I went to get my suitcase out of the closet, reaching for it like I had hundreds of times before, only for some reason that time it felt…heavy. And I felt tired. The thought of leaving again just made me tired. And I knew that all the jetsetting and airport lounges and empty hotel rooms had run their course. I was ready to be done.”
Charlie’s words hit Graham like weight to the chest. They resonated, not just for their honesty, but for their truth. For they way they perfectly encapsulated how Graham was starting to feel right now.
That thought – of getting home, settling in for a week or two, then being stuck on another project, sent off to another city – it wasn’t just exhausting for Graham to imagine, it was impossible. He simply couldn’t see it. Couldn’t picture it. Couldn’t accept a future that made these last six weeks just a memory from his past.
“That makes a lot of sense,” Graham murmured. “A lot. Thanks for sharing that with me, Charlie. Seriously.”
“Of course,” Charlie smiled. “Happy to.”
“I’m sure I’ll see you in the morning, but,” Graham paused, “please tell them I’m interested.”
Charlie smiled. “I will. Have a good night, Graham.”
Back in Graham’s room, Graham and Archie settled into a new evolution of their nighttime routine. Archie still arrived at Graham’s door, dressed in his black jeans and black polo, backpack still slung casually over a shoulder, but now their greeting was soft and gentle. They’d hug, offer a peck on the cheek or a tender kiss on the lips. And then, they’d rest.
Archie would shower, washing off the sweat and stick and smell of spilled beer from his shift. Sometimes Graham would join him, massaging the long day away; another night he watched, standing in the doorway, admiring the golden silhouette behind the steam-frosted glass. And after, clean and refreshed, Archie would don a pair of gym shorts, maybe an old t-shirt, and join Graham in bed.
He’d settle against Graham’s side, throw an arm across his chest, and Graham would wrap an arm around his shoulder, holding him close, claiming him, securing him against the inevitable. They’d talk. They’d watch tv. Sometimes, they’d still get each other off, gentle and deliberate, more like savoring dessert than rushing for a drink of water. It all felt so comfortable now – Archie’s hand on him, Archie’s cock in his mouth. After all their romps and exploits, he’d come to know every inch of Archie’s body, and he was growing quite literate in reading its reactions, its sighs of satisfaction, its twitches of longing, of desire, of wanting more.
At some point, they’d crossed a threshold where, bare and brazen before him, it was no longer just Archie’s body. It was also somehow his. His because Archie had offered it to him, invited him to touch, to taste, to savor, to explore. And he’d offered his body in return. And now, lying in bed in old, comfortable clothing, Archie’s hand on his stomach, rising and falling with his breath, he felt a certain domesticity he hadn’t felt since those first golden years of marriage. Of writing a life together. Of building a home.
He let out a sigh, louder than he intended. Archie heard it and looked up.
“What?” Archie asked, his smile amused.
“Nothing,” Graham shook his head. “I was just thinking…I could get used to this. Really.”
Archie smiled, but Graham saw a strain in his eyes, not of annoyance or frustration, but of effort. Of keeping that smile in place.
“Me too,” he said plainly. Graham could feel the meaning buried beneath those words.
Graham smiled, ignoring the hairline fracture tearing across his chest.
“It’d be nice, wouldn’t it? You, coming home from a long night on your feet. Me, already showered and ready for bed. Maybe I’ve left some dinner out for you. Or maybe I just know what your favorite late night snack is and I have that on the counter when you get home.”
Graham wanted to scream, to yell at himself to shut up, to say this kind of juvenile daydreaming was only going to make the next seventy-two hours more painful. But he didn’t listen.
“Peanut butter waffles,” Archie said softly against his chest.
“What?”
“My favorite late night snack. Peanut butter waffles with a drizzle of syrup. And a giant glass of milk.” He chuckled into Graham’s side. “Some nights I get home and feel like it’s practically time for breakfast, so…why not?”
“Peanut butter waffles it is,” Graham smiled, wide and honest. “Maybe we’d pick out a show and we’d try to sneak in an episode at night before I fall asleep.”
“I feel like that leaves us a narrow window,” Archie quips. Graham could feel his smile against his chest.
“I can’t say that you’re wrong,” he laughed.
“What would we watch?” Archie asked, finally joining Graham in the fantasy.
“Probably some corny crime procedural for me. Some raunchy cartoon comedy for you.””
“That sounds about right,” Archie said warmly.
“And I’m sure I’d fall asleep before you. And in the morning I’d wake up first and try not to disturb you as I crawled out of bed. I’d make us coffee and leave a mug out for you before I took off for work. And we’d find a little rhythm like that, slipping in and out of each other’s day.”
“You make me sound like such a princess in the morning,” Archie said, his voice velvety with amusement.
Graham laughed.
“I didn’t mean that,” he said. “I just meant…you’d be able to rest. To wake up after a late night and have a little head start because I’d already started the day for you.”
Archie was quiet for a moment, motionless in Graham’s arms. “It’s gonna suck going back to an empty apartment.”
His voice was soft and achingly honest.
“Yeah,” Graham whispered. “I know what you mean.”
Graham felt himself summoning the courage to ask the question that had been growing in his chest all week. What if they didn’t have to go back? What if they took this – whatever it was – forward, into something new? Sure, it would look different. Sure, it would be clunky and inelegant. But…it might be with a try. He was about to speak when Archie looked up at him, his eyes sincere.
“I was gonna surprise you tomorrow, but I’m trying to take Thursday off. I might just have to play hooky, but I thought we could do something together. Give you a proper sendoff. Make your last night a little more special.”
Graham swallowed the question before it could escape, shaken by the finality of Archie’s words. He seemed composed, reconciled to what felt increasingly like the inevitable outcome of their little affair. He played the question again in his mind, clunky and uncertain. He wasn’t sure a long-distance relationship with a man approaching forty was the most appealing offer, especially with school and new opportunities on the horizon.
And so, he smiled, trying to ignore the lump forming in his throat like a thundercloud.
“We should. Absolutely.”
